almost christmas!

i am as tired as daisy tonight.....it's been a long day....so beautiful with our first big sonow of the year! about one foot.....we are blanketed in snow.....i love when it's so snowy that the world just has to slow down....everybody stays put.....nowhere to run.....fire in the fireplace......snoozzzzzzzzz.......i'm about to fade......can't believe it's almost christmas!

we're waiting for snow to arrive....our family get together has been canceled due to long distance travelers and snow advisory for later today......just some winter wonderland photos....hoping for our snow.....and cozy fire in the fireplace.....chili cooking on the stove....peaceful...warm....family.......

i'm dreaming of all of the christmas crazies to melt away once we're blanketed by snow......we need to slow down, be thankful and enjoy the simple moments of the christmas season with family and friends!

how did this happen? it's no surprise....time flies....it's almost christmas! it's not the date that surprises me...i pretty much have this christmas thing figured out. i shop throughout the year....i love to pick special gifts for the people we love....i store them away in my little secret hiding spots...i have a running list, it's in my head. tis better to give than receive...it's true. it's also nice to play hide and seek. this is hereditary....my mom did this too...she, too loved to give and really enjoyed the pursuit of something special.... she sometimes spontaneously found that special something...in april. she would tuck it away, like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter.....only she sometimes had a little trouble finding her hiding spot...that's where the hide and seek comes in.i have inherited the hide of the hide and seek routine....only, i have yet to figure out the seek part.

my mom loved to wrap each gift beautifully....a special ribbon, with wrapping paper and a tag that coordinated, an ornament that would be appropriate for the recipient....lovely touches...and joy wrapping....even if she lost the scissors or tape in the middle of the process.
she wrapped into the wee hours with christmas music playing. i have beautiful memories of wrapping with my mom.

she also planned out when she would have to mail her long distance gifts....plan her trip to the post office....buy her christmas stamps for her christmas cards, always with mary and Jesus on the cover......

somewhere, in all of this jolly elfing, i missed that organizational chromosome......i love to shop, buy, hide and give. did i mention that i have a little disconnect with the seeking and the wrapping and the perfect ribbon and the mailing. i'm still working on that.

this is one case, where i have to say that i've just never been quite the same since i had kids! it all started our first christmas with a baby.....and then the next christmas...with another baby.

anyway, here we are, years later...the kids are early teens and ........well, i'm still blaming them for my mailing mixups when i can.....come on, just once in awhile. no one believes me anyway!

so, my problem is that i hurry and put all of the packages away, so no one will happen upon them....usually, they won't.... and truth be told......either will i. once i find the gifts, my husband is enlisted to help me get them wrapped and ready to deliver or take to the post office. when i have trouble finding some of the hidden gifties, he pleads ignorance and i wander around for hours...sometimes days....looking for the presents. usually, we find them before christmas. occasionally, we have them wrapped before christmas. and rarely, do we get all of them mailed before christmas! last year, our record year, we were able to get our friends little gifts, for the family, to them in may! they were delighted...they don't usually open gifts on memorial day, so it was a real treat. they loved it. they said it was even better than christmas day because sometimes it gets to overwhelming...everything at once! we may have to take advantage of that spirit again this year!

we have a wrapping frenzy somewhere in the vicinity of christmas eve.....lots of colorful paper, bags and ribbons....only, when we're on the road to spend time with family, we barely use the ribbons anymore. we wrap the gifts and pack them in rubbermaid tubs to travel in the car...different tubs for different destinations....it's not quite as christmas romantic as the way my mother did it....but we get it to the right people ....with lots of love and laughter...just minus the ribbons, the wrapping perfection and sometimes the tags.

over the years, we've really created some special traditions for our christmas season.....we used to go and visit the mangers outside many of the different churches. we would explain the story of christmas to our little children...and we cherished those sweet moments...standing in hay, out in the december cold. it was wonderful then and sweet to remember.

we had many kodak moments of our children visiting santa and whispering requests in his ear...we had some very exciting christmas eve nights sprinkling reindeer dust all over the lawn, so the reindeer would be able to spot us and know where to land. we've left cookies and milk for santa. we've called santa on the phone to talk and tell him hopes and dreams. we had christmas parades in our village with santa and mrs. clause and even reindeer and candy galore.
we've read christmas stories throughout the month of december.

it's all a little different now. our young teens don't have the same twinkle in their eyes when we talk about santa! their eyes are rolling more than twinkling. oh, it's exciting for them...they enjoy giving ideas and wrapping and surprising....christmas is different as our little people grow and grow.....thank goodness we can share some of the christmas joy with other little ones....it's very fun to see our kids with little kids....sharing some of the oohs and ahs of christmas and santa stories.

today, just for fun, we planned to make our gingerbread houses....our friends and all of the kids are older and humor the tradition....they can tolerate anything with sugar involved! you could say the enthusiasm was dwindling and everyone was exhausted from the busy week. plans got just a bit complicated, with different activities planned.......we postponed til monday. i think this may be the last hurrah!

the love of christmas and the spirit of christmas is still there.....and the love of giving...and now, some of the joy of the christmas season comes from random acts of kindness and spreading the joy to the oldest and youngest of believers....and thinking of others who might be lonely at this time of year.

we'll always love santa and christmas and family and that special giving feeling....it's just different.

my husband and i will probably still go outside on christmas eve and spit little pieces of carrot all over the lawn.....since those reindeers get kind of messy when they eat their treats! and there will still be some bites taken out of santa's cookies....all we can hope is that throughout these years, that have flown by so quickly, we've been  able help make some very
 sweet memories with our children.
and, on christmas morning, when they notice the carrot bits all over the lawn, they'll laugh and roll their eyes....and we'll give them more memories of christmas with teens.


the photos are those kodak moments.....the memories are forever...

believe

"........and to all a good night!"

last night, i had an appointment to go to the apple store.....for one on one tutorial...i think it's about 20 or 25 years too late.....better late than sorry....or better late than have  kids continue to make fun of my lack of computer skills.  it was in my best interest...it was in my family's best interest....it was in my blog's best interest....most important, it was a necessity, just to better myself and my skills.....it was finally time.....i felt like i was entering the twilight zone.  gee, wonder why my husband signed me up for a year of tutorials?  i guess because we love each other and even like each other, it was for our own good.......and i would go to the class at the MALL!

i was required to take a computer class in college.  oh, that seemed so exciting!  i love buttons...computer, typewriter, cash register, calculator, elevator.....

it's true.  at one point, i landed a great job as a mortgage broker......the first thing i heard from my enthusiastic college cohorts, "wow!   that's great!  you're gonna love using those calculator buttons every day!"  sharing the joy, they cheered for my love of buttons ....more, actually than for putting my college major, economics, to use.  besides being in sales and using the calculator, i really had no clue about the economy.....i guess those economics classes took a back seat to my computer buttons classes.  i mean, computer classes!

in college, my introduction to the cyber world began with a teacher who worked at the nearby  i.b.m. company.  the class was scheduled right at the dinner hour.....a major social concern.  the class was small, the teacher was small with a "small" voice too.....no computers in the class.....a separate computer lab.....in addition to the class....another social concern.   the greatest concern, at the time, was the teacher spoke to the class........ with one eye looking at the class and one eye looking out the window ......toward the cafeteria.....   hard time concentrating?  ya think?  just a bit distracted?  just me? i was scarred and traumatized........terribly bored and hungry....

then, i took off for  the mall (the 2nd MALL in one week! yikes!).......it was in my best interest...it was in my family's best interest....it was in my blog's best interest....most important, it was a necessity, just to better myself and my skills.....it was finally time.....i felt like i was entering a new world.  gee, wonder why my husband signed me up for a year of tutorials?  i guess because we love each other and even like each other, it was for our own good.......and i would go to the class at the MALL!

i had no one in the car with me....i had no teens to beg for their tunes....i had no husband to beg to use his g.p.s....with the blabbering woman who tells me what to do and the map, that only confuses me.  i put on my favorite station and began belting out my best ......la, ...la, la, la, mmmmm, mmmmmm, deee, la, la,di,, doo, doo, da, da!  none of that tsss, tssss, sh,sh,sh, boom, boom, ch, ch, ch, ch....rap stuff.  i can handle that stuff... and talk about it with the kids..... but, WOW!...... it's great to sing my heart out....pop, showtunes, rock, gospel, country. 

i arrived at the MALL....after taking the wrong route (distracted by my own music!)....i was in MALL traffic....i had to run into the MALL to get to my class.....just like college, i was late for class.  but, i made it.....through the honking merry christmas monsters in myriad automobiles at the MALL!

i sat with my instructor and had a ball.....when i arrived , the store was so frenetic with frenzied, frantic shoppers, i  thought i wouldn't be able to concentrate.....the exact opposite of my draggy, drudgery class from.... hellllllo apple store!  wow...an hour and a half and a cup of starbucks and i was high on computer vibrations!  i had to call that man of mine to thank him....i was so excited and over stimulated, he could barely understand me!

and the best part...i learned all kinds of stuff that i wanted to learn.......blog, blog and more blog pieces of the puzzle.....it was so exciting to learn and be able to implement everything right away!

i enjoyed strolling through the mall on my way out...people hustling and bustling, babies visiting santa at eight o'clock at night, stopped in stores alone, just me, not wanting or needing anything.....no one with me to want anything or plead for anything!  i stopped, i looked, i even had my camera with me for my apple visit....i played tourist in the MALL and i had a BALL!

i put down my camera for a moment to try on some gloves.....i meandered all the way to the car....outside in the half empty parking lot....meandered to the car.......started to put my key in the ignition and realized i left my camera in one of the stores......the adrenaline was pumping....how could i stand to lose the camera when i had a blog with a purpose,  if only for me!  i waved to the security guard in the jeep.....he "radio'd" the store for me and "10-4".....no luck.....i had to run and run and run, up escalators, through bunches of late night fried shoppers and workers....i ran and ran through food courts and gift stalls.....i ran and ran past aromas of pretzels and pizzas and soapy stores and musky stores and music stores....i finally arrived at the store my intuition sent me to.....the doors were closed....the doors were....locked!  i knocked incessantly...i knocked and knocked...and klinked and klinked with my rings....one woman looked up.....we made eye contact and....i waved...i waved and waved frantically.....she came to the glass door....i begged in a loud voice.  rather loud for the end of a long MALL day.  while quiet workers, wearing ipods and headphones,

swept and swept with brushes and brooms, the store clerk scrambled among the racks and slowly sorted through the gloves and accessories and she looked over at me....sadly.  she was exhausted....she hadn't really even tried...i felt my heart sink.  she approached me at the glass doors....she took her keys, unlocked the door and let me in to rummage through the chaotic table, where i had been standing, just an hour before......anad then, i found it!  .i found my camera!

i screamed,  "thank you! thank you! thank you!"........i offered them a reward, they all smiled and refused.....i ran to the door and shouted, "thankyou! thank you! thank you!..........merrrrrry chrrristmas!  they laughed.

i ran and ran....back to the car relieved and rejuvenated!  joy to the world!  life is good.  the mall was closed and i was exhausted....i started up the car and began my way to home sweet home.....excited to implement some new computer tricks and cartwheels.  i got on the highway and piped in the tunes and began singing in the car, to my hearts content......la, la, la, adee, dee, da, ho, ho, ho,mmmmm....mmm.......dee, dee, la,la la......WHoosh.... whooosh....it flew right over the hood.... and up on the rooftop..... click, click, click and down off the bumper..... nice and slick! ....and i had to exclaim as it flew out of sight, "merry christmas wreath to all and to all a good night!"

smile and say cheese

"yeah....that was back when life was simple."

while out christmas shopping, earlier this month, i walked down the pet aisle......with two dogs, two cats, two fish, it seems we always need something.   we have soft beds for the dogs that seem to be a two for one special......the cats use them....the dogs don't seem to feel territorial about their beds...it's funny to see our two golden retrievers back down for the cats....i remember seeing a needlepoint pillow that said, "if you want the best seat in the house, move the cat".....it seems to be true in our house.  the goldens are pretty gentle and sweet natured.....it's kinda funny though, daisy and fitzy  are very protective with thte kitties.

when daisy was a small puppy, grace adopted her kitten and named him "tic tac"......when tic tac would scoot out the door, we would say to daisy, "daisy, get the kitten!" and she would chase this tiny kitten and put her fornt paws on either side of him, put her chin on top and then, gently put the kitty in her mouth and wait for me to come collect tic tac.....daisy has been that way with every kitten that has strutted through these doors to make our house his home.  it's a very funny relatiionship.

while out christmas shopping, earlier this month, i walked down the pet aisle......with two dogs, two cats, two fish, it seems we always need something.   we have soft beds for the dogs that seem to be a two for one special......the cats use them....the dogs don't seem to feel territorial about their beds...it's funny to see our two golden retrievers back down for the cats....i remember seeing a needlepoint pillow that said, "if you want the best seat in the house, move the cat".....it seems to be true in our house.  the goldens are pretty gentle and sweet natured.....it's kinda funny though, daisy and fitzy  are very protective with thte kitties.

when daisy was a small puppy, grace adopted her kitten and named him "tic tac"......when tic tac would scoot out the door, we would say to daisy, "daisy, get the kitten!" and she would chase this tiny kitten and put her fornt paws on either side of him, put her chin on top and then, gently put the kitty in her mouth and wait for me to come collect tic tac.....daisy has been that way with every kitten that has strutted through these doors to make our house his home.  it's a very funny relatiionship.

so, it doesn't surprise me to see happy and jinx, t.j.'s cat, sprawled out on the dog beds, lounging away as though they're at a day spa.....and the dogs are driven to the hardwood floor.   i always laugh when i see the dogs have to forfeit their warm, cozy bed.....they seem defeated.  the kitties seem smug....but that's just typical"cattitude"....what else can we expect from cats.....we, apprently are here, just to serve them and their needs.

when my son arrived home from school, he noticed fitzy, the three year old golden, chewing on a new  plush dog toy.  immediately, he questioned me, "didn't you buy that for the dogs' christmas present?  i thought we couldn't give that to them til NEXT week?"  yes, that's what i said when i brought the toys home.....but, today, i decided to take them out for them to enjoy.   t.j. is like my resident observer, always noticing how i discipline the dogs....since he turned thirteen, he is especially critical of my dog training skills.  actually, i think i have done rather well....except for when it comes to fitzy with food!

while having his afterschool snack, he look over at me......he said, "mom.".......and pointed to the floor.....the toy was in shreds with the stuffing all over the room, looking like a winter snow.  he is like the doggie discipline police....maybe he'll have a career in animal control.  he has told me several times that i am just not assertive enough with the dogs....and not consistent either.......i quiet him down by mentioning that's where i may have failed my children too!   it works.  score for the parents!

after his disappointment in my "instant gratification gift giving" skills, we reminisced about daisy when she was fitzy's age......"remember, daisy always ate sticks while she and i waited  for you and grace at the bus stop?  fitzy never really learned that.....she seems to enjoy the toys more than daisy."

that's when he said, "yeah, that was back when life was simple.".........i think he may have been imitating me  going on about what life was like when i was a kid...."back when we were kids.....blah, blah, blah..."

blog or christmas card?

sometimes, it seems that i just can't get my hands on the computer....literally. it has taken me quite a while to finally sit down at this computer...it's the newer one in the family...and it is the most desired. i try to get my time on the computer when i can have it all to myself...when everyone is out of the house!

i had a few moments this morning to try to download or upload or whatever my most recent photos from my camera....simple you say...just a few minutes. i found the camera cord in the car, where we had it stored from a weekend trip where we thought we might need it....like we couldn't wait til sunday night to put the pics on our computer. instant gratification generation. i plugged in the camera and the computer.... i found the file...where i was hoping for the pics to magically travel....thinking i would quick make a cup of coffee while i leisurely waited.....and waited and waited. i put the coffee down....i looked at the computer and nothing....nothing.

i picked up my cell phone...it was my son, t.j.....he was waiting for me to deliver his history paper that had been printed out earlier this morning...but, it took too long and he had to run out the door to the bus.....pleading, as he ran down the "school bus path" to the bus....."PLEASE DROP IT OFF BEFORE LUNCH! THANKS!".....please and thank you! on the run! i would have done anything he asked...just hearing those magical words....on the fly! so, by picking up the phone, my whole agenda changed....i put my computer confusion on hold, put the dogs in the car, started up the car, put it in reverse and.....i had to put it back in park so that i could run back into the house....to get the history print out! i dropped it off at the school, where the wonderful receptionist was waiting for t.j.'s paper to arrive....as though i was a medic delivering a kidney!

i had a quick chat with the principal... wanted to thank him for something....via e-mail....until i had a technical glitch...so, i used the spoken word to say "thanks".....like the old days.

i began driving, with the dogs, down to town.....to get a HOT cup of coffee. as i began my drive, i realized that i had missed a "tweens" meeting that had a woman scheduled to speak about.....organization! i guess that's an indication of how much i needed to be there!

i got my coffee and it was hot! i took the dogs to the beach....the coffee got cold...but the day was beautiful!

i came home to get "organized".....i sat at the computer to try again...before my daughter arrived home on the schoolbus....and would no doubt be hovering to get her time on the computer. the phone rang...it was my daughter....she had walked to her middle school with some friends to visit their old teachers....she needed a ride home. i went to pick her up....tried to call her brother, who was on his bus ride home.....my cell phone battery was dead.

my daughter and i arrived home. i let her get going on the computer. i took care of some stuff around the house...non techno. when grace finished up, i gave it another go....i could not even get to the file....when i realized that my computer genius children couldn't even save me, i finally called my husband, on his cell phone...i pleaded for help...he tried....it was painful for both of us. he said he was at the hotel, dropping off his boss....he would be home shortly to help. a real computer crisis intervention!

after dinner, with my husband in the room, i began another attempt to get the pictures on the computer. things happened.... so out of control. my husband, laughing, told me that when i called him earlier.....his boss had to get up and walk away for a minute.....not because the phone call was a problem.....but, because it reminded him of the same conversations he and his kids have with his wife.....computer coaching over the phone is like trying to land a plane from a control tower in the wrong airport!

after everyone went to bed...in the wee hours....in the peace and quiet....it happened....i circled the plane around and around....found the right airport....and landed my airplane. the pictures were in. the eagle had landed.

now, why did i want them in so badly? was it for my blog or for our christmas card? too bad i didn't get to that organizational meeting.

my trickle down theory

"mirror, mirror, on the wall, i am my mother after all!".....that's what my needlepoint pillow says! and if it's on the pillow, it must be true. thankfully, i loved my mom very much...although she died almost 2 years ago, she is with me everyday and i'm sure she's laughing at me.....especially if she is overseeing any of the random moments of me and motherhood. it seems like yesterday that my mom was laughing when i told her that grace, at 3 years old, insisted on wearing her floral printed heavy cotton tights to the beach on cape cod....i remember telling my mom about my headstrong children....as any daughter knows, her mother will just smile knowingly because history is repeating itself. i remember how sweet she thought my little grace was....she shared none of my frustration....just joy because her adorable little grandchild was behaving in a manner very familiar to my mom...she had lived all of this with me.

a million years ago, when i was four years old, i was in a fashion show at a saks fifth avenue women's luncheon....i can still remember my mother's frustration, when i would not, could not, wear the newfangled polyester/cotton socks.....o.k., a prepster from the get go, it was almost impossible for me to put my little four year old feet into anything but 100% cotton!.....until my mother gritted her teeth....then i knew that woman meant business....after putting up quite a stubborn battle, i wore the icky feeling socks and i had to be happy wearing them, "or else". i don't really use the "or else"....maybe i should grit my teeth and try it....i think my kids would laugh and smell my fear..."OR ELSE!"....maybe i'll give it a go, anyway...it's just that it seems so much like a threat....

today, i give everyone their list of "to do's" and expect them to be done in a timely manner...apparently, mom timing and teen timing are just a tad different. also, as soon as our kids turned teen on us, they seem to use "sure, in a minute" to tide us, the parents, over. sometimes, if we are distracted by life and one of the many things going on in a household, "in a minute" may turn into hours....the a.d.d. parents and follow through is a big issue.....mostly, because it backfires on our parenting code....we try to be consistent....we are consistent with most big stuff....homework, bedtimes, morning schedules....but sometimes we fall short on the little chores of life...like empty the dishwasher, take out the garbage....little chores but big when they back up.

and that's where our kids get my version of "or else!"....it goes like this....."daisy stop barking at fitzy...fitzy! get out of the garbage....now the garbage is all over the floor ...we have to make sure that there is no food out to set fitzy up for failure! (apparently, since we adopted her, she is way beyond curing of this piggy food behavior)......when fitzy gets into the garbage, daisy barks at her, either because she wants fitzy to share or because she's warning us, like lassie, that there's trouble......when daisy barks, grace shreiks,"fitz..y!"....then t.j. yells at his sister to calm down....she screams at her brother...i intervene while stopping fitzy...when i stop fitzgerald, daisy stops barking!....then, i call the kids to pick up the garbage and carry it out to the garbage pails in the garage....and put a new hefty in the pail.

after the garbage scenario is complete, that's when i begin my "trickle down theory" rant....i think, by now, they cringe!....you'd think that they would be so sick of that routine that they would get the whole process down in a robotic fashion, just to keep me and my "trickle down theory" quiet.

and don't even get me started on the dishwasher "trickle down" ......not emptied? then, the sink is full...i like having a clean sink....blah, blah, blah.

i should have known that my day had come....minutes after our first baby was born, i begged the nurse for a ginger ale.....my mom had a glass of ginger ale every night. that was just the beginning...

i know i'm not perfect...i come from a long line of imperfect people.....lotsa love, just not perfect.....i guess, i'd much rather have the love!

i've been malled....

so, friday after the kids came home from school, grace begins updating me on her plans for the weekend...this is not something new with our first child....she was born with an appointment book in her hands...social scheduling is her life...and, at 14, it is all about her schedule and her life.

so, friday, as her bus arrival time was quickly approaching, i called my husband and demanded, "quick, think fast...what are we doing for the weekend...i need to know our plans before grace gets home. she'll have an agenda and we have to be prepared...with our plans...for us!"
i know, who's in charge here anyway? it's just that we, as parents, have to plan our offensive strategy before it becomes defensive....that's when the trouble begins. huh? yes, this is true...in the life of our fourteen year old daughter, everything is urgent....everything.

as a baby, she woke up at 7:16 every day....when she began talking, she would sit in her crib and point to her hats, hanging on hooks in her room...."hat!...hat!...hat!", she would say. yes, it was our little social butterfly, wanting to be "dressed" for her morning meal.
when she was about four years old, she would wake up, rush into our room, like there was an emergency and say,"can we bake cupcakes?....now?"

basically, we could have been running like firemen on their way to a fire, since she was born. we are pretty relaxed parents...we like to have a good time....we enjoy our children....we love our children. it's just that our sense of timing and there sense of timing are in two different time zones.

we make plans..we follow through...we don't make promises that can be broken...we always try to be honest....we don't always say yes to our kids. apparently, all of the other parents say yes....all of the time....no matter what the situation...money...yes.....disney world....yes....ipod...yes....television in your bedroom...yes.....laptop computer...yes.......events...yes......anywhere.....yes.....anytime....yes!

well, they sound like dream parents. why didn't we have parents like that? our children always seem to find the kids in this world with parents in that world! every other parent!....but we're not their parents, we say!...."we have to say no because we love you"....they just don't buy it.

we are the worst parents in the world.....and, once in awhile, we're o.k.! back when the kids were small and wanted every flag, balloon, horn on our fourth of july parade route..... sold by people, who have an evil plot to separate young parents from their money, for something overpriced...... that might not last til naptime. a good friend, with grown children, told us to prepare ourselves.....because, even if we take them to a parade, with marching bands, rollerskaters, monkeys doing cartwheels, gorillas driving cars, and more.....children will still say, "but, i didn't get a lollipop!"

and today, with two tweens, everything we do seems to leave them feeling they are missing out on the lollipop......and, "all of the other parents get their kids the lollipops!"

in some cases, that seems to be true.....and at this moment in time, it seems like it would be so much easier to be the fun parents.... the parents who say yes to the lollipops.... yes to the junk from the street vendors at the parades.... yes to the concert tickets... yes to the sleepovers... yes to the invitations to kids' houses with NO parents home, because THEY trust THEIR children....yes to the television in their bedrooms......on and on and on. "wouldn't it be nice", as the beach boys sang. unfortunately, for our children, we are parenting with a more rolling stones type style,"you can't always get what you want".....and that's true for us, the parents, too..... other parents, who give everything to their kids... because it's easier than dealing with a disappointed, angry, hysterical child, make our lives miserable too!

my husband and i always dream of kids' friends who have parents that know "the code", you know, "the parent code".....kind of looking out for each other, standing tall, braced together as a giant parenting team.....all with the same set of game rules. and sadly, it's only a dream. while sitting with a friend, discussing the different styles of parenting tweens, at school orientation this year......she suggested i look around the room at all of the other parents....i did...she said, "just think, they all were in high school once.....do you remember the different types of kids that you went to your high school?.......they're all parents now...think about that." that put it all in perspective...of course, we can't have a "parent code".

so, on friday night, i took my daughter and her friend to the mall....despite the fact that it was the absolute last place in the world i wanted to be. as it turned out, as happy as they were to go to the mall, i brought them to the "wrong mall"....some of their friends were at the other mall. they survived. i survived....nevertheless, i've been malled enough for a good long time.

and saturday night, we were "the worst parents in the world"....we wouldn't let our daughter go to a friends house, with parents out at a christmas party....even though, everyone else was allowed to go....
'

little susie sunshine

yesterday, i had some facebook fun...while online, an old college friend and i made plans to get together for coffee. we planned on meeting at starbucks after i finished walking the dogs at the beach....she declined my dog walking invitation because it was the coldest weather we've had this winter. maybe she declined the beach walk because the last time we walked at the beach, i lost my ray ban sunglasses...a present from my kids....i held my friend hostage while we paced back and forth retracing our footsteps on an early fall day. every phone call after that day started with,"did you find your sunglasses yet?"....since she's a college friend, she is well versed in my little mary mix up adventures!......and we're friends anyway!

the best part about old friends is that they know all of my peccadillos and they forge ahead in our crazy friendships anyway.....with one mix up after another, these friends have stood the true test of time. of course, that includes all of their peccadillos!

i am a loyal friend. i've been blessed to have friends like sisters.....yup! having two brothers, i've always made up for that sister thing with really great friends..... through ups and downs, boyfriends, jobs, weddings, wakes and funerals (wait...that's my irish family)....babies, divorces, life dramas, big and small........we're always there to support each other.

that's why, when my good old college friend said she would take a peek at my blog, i knew she'd follow through....and she'd be very familiar with life with liz! i was happy to hear that she and some other friends had been reading but had not yet signed in as a follower....a follower....sounds cultish..but, i'm a leo and love being the leader!

as the saying goes, "birds of a feather stick together." i guess it's true. tara called this morning to let me know that she had been reading my blog, when another college friend began instant messaging her while on line....she was busy trying to read, sign on as a follower, talk to our mutual friend and mention the blog, also managing a phone call from her son's school.....she managed her way through the technological world, an a.d.d. world for us, and dashed out of the house to run her morning errands. she was out and about...all over town...while checking out at the grocery store, she was feeling a chill...the temperature outdoors was very cold....she questioned the quality of her pants and looked down to see.....she was wearing her pajamas! she managed to have a jacket covering her top and even thought to accessorize with a scarf, but in her scattered attempt to handle techno worlds of e-mails, phone calls, instant messaging and my blog!

and to think, earlier this morning, i was concerned with my pajama get up i got on to take the dogs outside in the yard....yoga pants, t-shirt, my husband's sweatshirt, my uggs that one of the dogs ate as a puppy, and a big white fluffy blanket! i was styling quite the look! as long as the kids had gotten on their bus for school, i was safe from judgement....maybe.

my phone rang mid morning....it was tara. she was hysterical, screaming into the phone, "o.k. little mary mix up or whoever the hey you are....i was out this morning....
blah, blah, blah.....i was in the middle of reading your blog....it's your fault...i am so embarrassed....i had to call....i told my husband i was reading little susie sunshine or some damn thing and i ran out the door in my p.j.s!....are ya happy...i told everyone you're blogging and i forgot to get dressed!"

birds of a feather...little susie sunshine and little mary mix up!

silent night.

tonight's the night...it's the christmas concert. our 14 year old daughter loves to sing! loves singing in the car....in the shower...in her bedroom....singing to the car radio, her ipod.....even with her earphones on, she's got the voice....it's a gift. she has the ear....the rythym...the attitude....the style! she also has a brother.

we all agree that she has a beautiful voice.....even her brother can recognize her talent...although that's not what he calls it when he has reached his limit.....

we take alot of road trips...our kids have been road warriors since birth....we have packed them up in the car with road toys, road cheerios, road books and of course road tunes! we've sung up and down the east coast....and then they became teenagers.

on a roadtrip, singing in the car has been good family fun....until our kids became teenagers....they suddenly did not care for our choice of music or our singing! i'm the mom who sang to them everynight....we're the parents who had kitchen dancing every night after dinner with random music from chopin to the grateful dead to tony bennett....to....raffi and fred penner. we are even guilty of playing music to them while still inside...me! they attended a pre school at the conservatory of music... we have been to mom and me music classes, throwing colorful scarves through the air....."mummies and daddies mustn't be uncomfortable dancing and tossing the scarves....mummies and daddies must be free and allow the babies to feel free to flow with the music.....".......we've done the hokey pokey, we've mimicked the itsy bitsy spider, we've opened the doors to see all of the people.....we have even stooped so low as to sing the barney song while picking up toys with our kids...you get the picture!

now, our roadtrips are more challenging due to the electronic and technological advances in our lives....it's all fun until grace starts singing in the car to her own ipod music while wearing her headphones...she keeps on key, miraculously.....however, it gets a little uncomfortable, a tad unpleasant for t.j., wearing his ipod with his earphones, sitting in the car next to her.....and he can't hear his own music! this involves parental intervention....which never ends well. "well, if you don't like my singing, just tell me! "i know you don't think i'm a good singer and i'll never be a good singer.......", she rants. her brother eggs her on....us, the parents, we're just hopeful that everyone will beat to their own drummer so that we may have a front seat date..... while attempting to just hear about each other's lives...you know, some of the things we may have missed about each other in the last 14 years....just trying to make the most of our time to get reaquainted!

early this evening, while i was wrapping christmas presents by the christmas tree, t.j. was doing homework on the computer..... grace was upstairs in her room....you guessed it...singing, singing, singing. finally, t.j., distracted by the broadway showtunes being belted out by his older sister, went to the bottom of the stairs and begged grace to stop! "do you hear what i hear?" it was grace, highly insulted, "i knew you hated my singing....i'm not even LOUD....NEVERMIND...IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE CONCERT ANYWAY!"

"joy to the world!"... NOT. "silent night"... NOT. the boy stayed home....the girl left in a huff...the husband arrived in the midst of it all.....the mom kissed the boy goodbye...his homework undone....we drove off to the concert......

the sweetness of the singing was lovely....and, it was joyful! music to our ears! peace on earth, goodwill to all....except brothers....and sometimes, sisters.

vroom, vroom!

i'm not meant to be perfect.....and that's that. i have just spent the morning trying to pick up some excess christmas needles that have been on the family room rug since we brought the tree in on saturday.....yes saturday! i vacuumed before the tree arrived....when all intentions were to do it right this year...which to me means, maybe i can be like those perfect people. now i know there is no such possibility...and deep down, i know there are no perfect people....they may appear perfect....but somewhere, something has to go imperfect. also, the higher the standards of perfection, the less likely we are to reach perfection.....and that's something i've had to learn....i just can't be perfect, so i just had to lower my standards! as an old professor once told me, "lower your expectations and serenity will follow".....and it's kind of true....but that's especially true about my expectations of others.....that's another story!

the christmas tree is one of those "lower your expectation........."kind of moments....now, that i expect the tree we cut down to have one quirk or another....it becomes a sweet christmas memory rather than a christmas nightmare! and we do have lots of christmas memories of our different trees throughout the year....look back at the blog about defrosting the tree.....

anyway, today is the day meant to clean up and get some work around the house done....i even had a neighbor, who just graduated from college, in to help me get organized with some of my christmas chaos cleaning....she just keeps me on track....kind of.

so, as she sweeps the kitchen floor, i pick up some excess decorations to put away.....i bring up the 2 week old vacuum cleaner to the kitchen and start to do my own work in the family room, christmas central. like a cruel joke, i am notified within minutes that this new million dollar vacuum is not picking up the 2000 pound of sand brought in from the beach by the dogs, daily dog,cat hair, crumbs and stuff......

i have purchased about 5 vacuums plus a rug steam cleaners and a floor steam cleaner in just 2 years time....don't i sound like i'm perfexct......i think i should at least accumulate some perfection points for money spent and effort! well, i have been through 3 good vacuums and had to resort to daily vacuuming chores with the wet-vac! yes, that's me......a lovely sight.
friends laugh. i never realized how much vacuuming enters a conversation. that's a crazy story right there....my life today....who ever knew that a vacuum could be so important.

i spent an hour this morning with screwdrivers, barbeque skewers, mop handles and a flashlight....with tears in my eyes (o.k.....tears weren't really from the drama, they were from the dust bunnies!).....trying to make the vacuum pick up from the big piece that rolls on the floor.....our friendly college grad used the straight tubey part to vaccum.....not really as effective......after literally unscrewing pieces of the vaccuum, i was desperate... i called my husband at his office to talk me off the ledge or at least, help me to get the vacuum running again.....he told me how to pull a piece apart and look inside and POOF....a POOF of dust bunnies and duct tape came out.....vroom, vroom!....it started.....i'll never be perfect!

"you're a hippie!"

o.k..........last night, our family was having a nice dinner together....actually, having some lively conversation about current events,telling stories and laughing TOGETHER! then, it happened.....just my husband and i, with our 13 year old son, at the dinner table. we were having some fun with him and his jovial mood.....he has a great, quick wit! i began telling a story about antics in college, maybe toned down for his sake.....griff told some funny stories about some old friends and then everything changed....in an instant!! with a smirk, he said, "why are you two laughing.....you're not even funny....i can't believe you're my parents!".....that made us laugh harder! he continued, "really, you both have to grow up!"

well, maybe....but, not likely. it's our twisted sense of humor that's getting us through the beginning of these teen years.....if we didn't laugh, we'd cry. we know that everything we do is embarrassing....and we're kind of normal...we do like to have fun....they (the teen opposing team in our house) used to think we were great...they loved us and loved the times we had together! and, overnight, we, the parents have disappointed them in every regard!

as we talked a little more, i was talking with him and mentioned something about feelings, i think......it was then that he said, "oh mom...you're a hippie!" "what? why do you say that?....uncle tom and uncle tim were hippies....i wasn't even in the hippie generation!", i continued.....he laughed and said, "mom, come on, you're always painting and doing craft things, you talk about feelings and the universe...you're a hippie!"

and i thought i was just being a good parent!

whirlwind!

the jetsons

oh boy! i'm getting my blogs mixed up...i hope i can find them all in cyberspace...and put them all together...help....lizzybits...littlemarymixup....liznextdoor....life wth liz...madison,ct. walking the dogs.....lizzytish, lizandbif......all i wanted was a little blog and it seems they've taken on a life of there own. i feel like i'm spinning into the world of jane jetson....i'll be back ....if i can find my own blog again!

just another mono monday

monday after thanksgiving....our mono girl is still home sleeping....call in to the doctor for another appointment. it 's amazing to think it was just a week ago that we found out the diagnosis mono.....and almost a week since our trip to the emergency room with grace barely able to swallow.

once again, murphy's law with mr. murphy out of town. very scary for me....it does amaze me to think of how graceful i can be under stress... all for the sake of children. i'm the first to get on a roll and tell a story about how our life goes.....but when it's time for business it gets done.

throughout our journey, this last week, we all feel grateful that the sickness taking it's toll on grace is just a passing sickness and we can move through it. as we sat at the children's hospital last week, in the quiet hours of early morning in the emergency room, i had to pause and be thankful for all of our blessings and good health...despite the pain of our daughter at this moment.

i've stopped myself many times in the last week to think about the gift of health that we may take for granted....until something shakes us up enough to appreciate how amazing our bodies are...how much we are able to do without even thinking. the emergency room at children's hospital really helps to put things in perspective. especially at thanksgiving. i've sent lots of prayers to families with more troubles than mono....and more than a thanksgiving turkey to think about.

throughout the last week, still exhausted and run down, we've all had alot to think about.....not just the family thanksgiving dinner that we missed....but our nutrition, our sleep, our quiet, our exercise....and the balance of our lives. this has been a warning sign for us all to listen to our bodies and take care of them and take care by treating our bodies with respect.

for me, i know it's time to live on more than a bowl of cereal and coffee for breakfast.... and a peanut butter and jelly or yogurt for lunch.....and who knows what for dinner. it's time to really work at the balance.....moderation.....and peace.

o.k. this morning, i've chosen to just sit....drink my coffee...write a little....and get started with the phone calls, making doctor appointments, cancelling dentist appointments (really, what dentist wants a girl with mono, tonsillitis and strept throat in his chair....especially to poke around in her mouth....YUK) ....put away laundry, vacuum, empty the dishwasher, walk the dogs, administer some medicine. i think i'm so grateful, starting the week out with a girl who's on her way back to her blessed good health, that i'll have a little bounce in my step. did i mention that i'm grateful.

this week, we may get back to normal.....whatever our normal is....and we know, our normal is just being a little kooky! and that's our normal. so, whatever your normal is....enjoy it!


by the way, i'm tired....but, i don't have mono.....i'm just a mom.

just tell GOD your plans

today is thanksgiving....we will not be gathering with all of the relatives to give thanks...we will be at home with the 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish. not because that is our plan but because that's what has been planned for us. this is when i think of the quote, "just tell GOD your plans, if you want to make him laugh!"

bif and i had a fun little getaway to new york city last weekend. after a busy weekend, bif left for a sales meeting....a sales meeting scheduled every year at this time.....6 hours away.

after a sunday filled with phone calls to the doctor...the plan was to take grace, our daughter, to the doctor, first thing monday morning!
and after my husband left on his 6 hour drive, my son left on his school bus, we were off to the doctor....oh, wait...it would take some time to wake my exhausted daughter.......after many attempts, she pushed herself to get out of bed.

one way to decipher just how sick your teen is......if they can't bare to have the radio on in the car! not even with the volume very low....it must be off! that is a tell tale sign........another is...when a fourteen year old girl doesn't even want to brush her "bed head"!

after the doctor confirming mononucleosis, "mono", we were off to get this girl back to bed. then my mission began...i had to bring the doctor's note to school, bring the prescription for antibiotics to the drug store, buy lots of juice, popsicles and ice cream and pick the up the filled prescription, hurry it home to fill in to the patient....to get her feeling just a bit better...or as good as she can feel for now.

sleep is the major cure for this exhaustion based sickness....and sleep we all will get...tonight, my son and i will also get to sleep early after a weekend of late nights...

checking on grace many times before my bedtime, she was in alot of discomfort.....hardly swallowing her juice...and getting to sleep off and on.

i worried and went to sleep. i woke up to her crying my name. i went in to be with her, she wanted me to rest beside her. she was scared....as was i.

a bit later, after a foggy sleep, she was having some difficulty breathing since her tonsils and glands were so enlarged! it was then that i knew i had to call the doctor "on call". he agreed that this was something of a real concern and suggested i take my patient to the emergency room. i called my husband to wake him in his hotel room to let him know the plan....and to share my worry....and to think through what to do about our sleeping son.

it was almost 4 o'clock in the morning....why wake him? would it be alarming to wake him and let him know his sister had to go to emergency? would it be upsetting to be woken up and left alone to wonder? would it complicate the plans to leave immediately? the answer was yes, yes and yes.

we left for the emergency room, quietly and inwardly worrying about our sweet daughter, so scared and sick and hurting. the doctors checked her and helped her swelling temporarily....they wanted us to continue to the children's hospital at yale...they were concerned for such distress and swelling.

off we went...oh wait...we needed to fill the gas tank after such a hectic weekend. better than running on fumes....the way my body felt at 4 in the morning.

at children's hospital, we had doctors waiting and prepared to see our patient....with many doctors in to assess her, grace and i were relieved to know they would take care of her and send us home.....

after seeing doctors and residents and doctors assistants, nurses and nurse practitioners and security guards and valet parking attendants, one nicer than the next...... we were sent home...both of us relieved.

while we were at the hospital, we both gave thanks that we were there for just a temporary illness and we were thankful for all of the skilled professionals that were there to take care....all with a smile and kind words to us both.

my husband called to check in, once we were home and had some words of wisdom to share (never welcomed when he is long distance suggesting).......he quickly realized that...

this was the third tuesday before thanksgiving that i had been to the emergency room with a child while the husband was at his sales meeting 6 hours away...."murphy's law" goes into effect when mr. murphy is away....once again.......2 broken arms and one mono...other broken bones were just during run of the mill business travel.

our thanksgiving plans have changed again....we're pretty adaptable....we'll stay home and watch the parade and some movies and maybe even order out! while grace sleeps.......she doen't eat turkey anyway!

just tell "GOD" your plans and make him laugh! no matter what, we still give thanks .....for family and friends....and everyone else who get us through the "murphy's law" moments.

sipping lemonade through a straw.....

the big weekend for the parents was planned! the kids were going to stay with their aunt, uncle and cousin....and at a later date, the cousin would come to stay with us so the parents could get away too. our kids, 14 and 13...their kid....5! ok...it's a stretch! but we knew we'd all find a way! our kids, exhausted from a week of exams and late nights. their kid, charged on five year old energy! everything is exciting when you're five! nothing is exciting when you're fourteen or thirteen! when you're the parents ready for the getaway....you're ready to getaway whether you're exhausted or energized! especially, when someone, almost anyone wants to work out a plan......not that it happens very often.....we'll try our best to work it out....just to have a little time together...away....anywhere!

ahhhhh! although, we barely had time to talk to each other about the plans, we were excited to get the time alone! we had a few ideas...we knew we had to leave the kids late on friday at the "cousin's house".....school and work were a necessity. we had two whole nights to go anywhere....as long as we were back to pick them up on sunday afternoon! a dream come true....at least, for us and the five year old!

we talked about going to the city and all of the possibilities of where we could stay and what we could do....so many choices in the city we love!

we talked about going to the shore, considering some places we had never been....we talked of relaxing and riding bikes and walking on the beach and eating out......no matter where .....we always love the beach...any beach!

ahhhhh! two whole nights for a little getaway! time for us! and time for the cousin's mom and dad to get away later in the year. everyone wins!

okay, a week before, our daughter brought a flyer home from school...it said, "awards dinner....sunday 1-5".....you guessed it...one to five....on SUNDAY...our second day of our getaway.

how could we not go to our daughter's awards dinner...even if it was scheduled for four hours, the sunday before thanksgiving...on our planned or not so planned getaway! of course, their was no choice....it was our daughter and she worked hard in her chosen sport. the big question was...why did they have to plan it on OUR weekend.

how could we cancel our weekend that had been postponed time after time? we could not cancel. we thought of an old teacher i quote often...she said, "a.y.t.c." ......that means "adapt yourself to circumstances".....as parents, we're used to that motto! we would march on! we continued planning....for one night.

still grateful, we decision had been made for us...the city was our best opportunity...geopgraphically! we always love the city...it's always new! we would use our time wisely!

we made the plans....we would leave connecticut after school and drop the kids off two hours away at their cousin's house....and proceed joyously to the city, only one hour away!

oops! that day, my husband called and said he would meet me and the kids at their cousin's house! he was at an appointment...it would be better use of time to meet......

the kids got home and packed...we drove in traffic...we arrived very late, because of the packing and the traffic!....and the bathroom stop....never fails!

we got to the house...we were all so happy to see each other, we almost forgot to leave. we got to the city at about eleven o'clock at night.....night life was just beginning...we weren't sure if we could make it through dinner. we walked around and got a bit energized.....chose a great restaurant and had a lovely dinner. we walked and walked some more. we went to sleep!

we woke up on saturday to central park and fifth avenue and madison avenue and grand central station and the new york public library and walking and walking and walking.......no plans....except frequenting every starbucks for caffeine charge
! we did whatever we felt like doing! moment by moment, agreeing to enjoy the moments! no destinations...just walking! what a great day and night!

after our dinner, we enjoyed a long drive home...listening to OUR radio station! we arrived to pick the kids up at about eleven o'clock! thanks to flexibility of our family!

our kids were treated to dinner and midnight bowling anda pro basketball game and dinner and a movie .....they had a bigger agenda than us! after much chatter and shared enthusiasm (probably because we were collecting our children!), we said our good byes and thank yous .....and we'll see you for thanksgiving......and drove home....yes, in two cars for two hours.....one o'clock in the morning....exhausted and recharged at the same time!

we woke up, had coffee and some talk....we went to a wonderful and fun awards dinner....we were tired...our kids were tired....our daughter was especially tired...exhausted....very exhausted and sick....she had swollen glands, sore throat and stuffy nose....and she was weak and warm.....

we called the doctor. we asked some questions. we went to sleep.

we woke up. we went to the doctor with our exhausted daughter....too tired...never enough sllep for any of us.....the doctor looked at our fourteen year old....asked many questions...checked her some more.......did some tests......

MONO!

we were home from the doctor for only minutes when i got a phone call......"mono?" she asked......how did she know? no one knew but the doctor, my daughter and me!

FACEBOOK! now, at least 900 people were notified at once....once my daughter got upstairs to bed...to her ipod! upstairs....to her quiet bedroom...to notify her world!

and her cousin's mom!...on facebook...she read this on facebook....about our fourteen year old that just spent 30 plus hours with her five year old!

a fourteen year old and a five year old, who shared lemonade by sipping through a straw!

can a five year old get mono? ....and will we still be invited for thanksgiving?

remember when and ..........

since school got out last summer, our kids have had crazy hours...lotsa fun and outdoors...sun and sailing...friends and family...and not enough sleep. school days began and still it seemed that no one got enough sleep, including the parents! it seems the later our kids go to sleep, the later we go to sleep....not because we want to keep an eye on them, but because we just want to have some low key, peaceful moments. and we do have lots of fun with them....although they'd rather be with their friends!

i remember when... we read books before bedtime and laughed out loud and cuddled and kissed!
now...we give a quick kiss goodnight if we're lucky!
i remember when... i came to school for any school event and they smiled and hugged me!
now.....they roll there eyes if i'm in the parking lot!
i remember when....i waited at the bus stop and cought falling leaves and played shadow tag, brought sports equipment to play
with while the kids waited for the bus!
now....i can't even walk the dogs down the street in the opposite direction!
i remember when...they came home from school and had a snack at the kitchen table and told me stories about school friends,
teachers, busdrivers and homework!
now...they come home, say "hi", grab a snack, and run upstairs to "chill" with their ipod!
i remember when...they called on the phone to ask permission for lots of stuff
now, they text me instead of call!

and now they're busy turning themselves into who they're going to be! it's kind of scarey and kind of exciting to see who they are! they really haven't changed that much...in size...yes!

and now they're busy being who they are in the moment! and that really doesn't include us....and sometimes it does!
they really haven't changed much.....in independence ...yes!

and now they're busy trying new things, seeing new people and broadening their scope!
they really haven't changed much....making choices on their own...yes!

and now they're very proud of their growing ways!
they really haven't changed much....doing things their way, right or wrong!

and as parents, we're still really proud of their accomplishments, big and small! they are slowly moving away to gain some more independence......we'll try to keep letting go...even if it tugs at our hearts! they'll probably be rolling their eyes at us for a while longer.....we'll keep tuning our sense of humor! they're growing up right before our eyes....we'll still keep our eyes on them! they're still pushing and pulling at us......

and we'll always be there to give them a smile and a hugand our love!...with their eyes rolling or not!
we really haven' changed much!


they are funny people and we really like who they are, even if they're not so sure yet!
they are pretty smart and we like who they are, even if they're not so sure yet!
they are really interesting and have a great point of view, even if they're not so sure yet!
they are really great to be around....sometimes....even if WE'RE not so sure yet!

we just keep trying to be our best, so they can be their best!

"don't say blog"

a few years back, "memorabilia" was an unacceptable word to my son. he was about 9 or so when the word became disturbing. i'm not sure when it began. maybe it was the year we drove from connecticut to ohio for a wonderful family thanksgiving. it was a very long drive. our kids are road warriors...so a road trip like that was not a concern. of course a road trip today is not what it used to be "back in the day", a phrase that also was found bothersome. i will agree the four words did get a bit overused. family road trips for our kids are just a bit different than our days of "are we there yet?" the question still comes up from time to time but not like "the old days". "the old days" are really just a few of years ago. maybe only about one car ago for some families....maybe during the minivan days rather than the new s.u.v. days.

growing up, our family trips were mostly about jumping into the car, that was the only car in the family.... turning on the radio to a station that our parents enjoyed .....driving to the gas station, having the attendant (a man) fill the car up with gasoline......regular, because that's all they had....he checked the oil....washed the wind shield, paying cash, saying "thank you".......calling him by name because of a long time relationship......because he was the owner , because his name was embroidered on his shirt near the embroidered name of the gas station ....and, maybe talk to him about the trip while looking at a paper folded map that took a rocket scientist to fold up after wrestling it across our lap and trying to find the roads that helped us coordinate our travel and then we could drive away. we had no seat belts, we at where we wanted .... if we sat at all....sometimes, in a station wagon, we could go to"the way back" and lie down....maybe with two other kids...with sleeping bags and pillows and lots of hard luggage. if we voted on it, the"way back" window could roll down so we could have all kinds of wind blowing through the car....only, we might not be able to hear the radio since we didn't have stereo speakers throughout the car....and that was o.k., because the music could be a bit tinny anyway! we could sing along to the music...play license plate bingo.... count the cadillacs.... look for the different states on the license plates.,.... usually with generic state plates, not so many personalized plates or plates with our cause of choice ..... wave to the people in other cars or just look out the window! sometimes we even talked...to each other. we read the clocks on our watches, not digital. we had no air conditioning. we each had to lock our doors individually or not at all. we had to roll the windows up and down with the window crank....and sit.

our trips now are just a bit different. some cars can be started remotely.....we all get into the car..... adjust the seats to our level of comfort...... the driver locks the doors automatically....sometimes with childproof locks.....sometimes the back window won't go down all the way, just as a precaution...as opposed to us hanging our arms and heads out the windows like golden retrievers. we may also choose to have the sunroof open automatically and if it's sunny, we can open the sun glass compartment overhead while it opens. today, we have a choice of air conditioning....heating....seat warmers all individually adjusted. we must buckle up....or the car will beep incessantly until we do...our right rear door may be "ajar"....the driver has the mirrors adjusted electronically, depending on who is driving......the radio may be a.m., f.m, cassette tape or c.d., which we keep stored in the compartment between the seats, maybe next to the cold bottles of water being kept cold by a mini-fridge....or satellite radio, with hundreds more stations to allow us to know the local weather half way across the country, should you care. if interested in some reading, a book can be read to us....by c.d. or cassette. if we choose our own books, we can use our ipods or individual c.d. players. OR, we can each watch a d.v.d. individually or together. when we load the car, the "rear lift gate" will open by pushing a button on our "key fob"...that is after we have used it to unlock the doors....and hopefully, we haven't touched the button that sounds the car alarm to alert all that there is a burglary involved......even if we're in a bucolic setting that is in our own driveway. oh, and before we leave, we may set the g.p.s. to get us to our destination by the fastest route, shortest distance or by avoiding toll roads....and it will talk to us and tell us what to do and quite literally, tell us "where to go".

on one recent car trip, we counted up the different "screens" in our car....

4 ipods with music, movies and t.v. shows down loaded
1 g.p.s
1 d.v.d player
1 blackberry with internet availability
1 laptop computer with the world at our fingertips, including d.v.d..... until the battery wears out.
3 cell phones with camera and video and music
3 digital cameras with video recorders

-----screens for a family of 4...the 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish stay home
-----we have a-------bike rack for 4 bikes
-----we have roof racks for the 2 kayaks or 1 canoe
-----if we choose, we can use the car top cargo holder on top of the car
-----and we have a trailer for the sailboat

if their was just a bit more room and we could find healthy food in drive-thrus, we could probably live in the car.
roof over our heads, warmth, food and sleep.

soooooo, it was the 2 day thanksgiving trip to ohio that the trouble with "memorabilia" began.....it may have been because we dragged our pre-teens kicking and screaming, almost literally... out of the car.......where they were perfectly content, with all of their accoutrements, .... to stop at the "i love lucy" museum, at my request, with all of the memorabilia that made my heart sing! i grew up with "i love lucy"! no one cared about "i love lucy", no one loved her like me. after all, she was in black and white.... that's another story. i know the word "memorabilia" sealed the deal!

now they are teens..... now they know i'm writing my blog....guess what? .....they don't think that a mom should write a blog....they are concerned that my blog is about them....it's not really about them....it's about ME....and what goes on in my little world! i love writing, i love telling stories and i love our kids. who could give me more to write about than my kids, who don't like me to talk about blogging. they say to each other, "uh-oh, mom's gonna write about you in her blog!"....they say to my husband, "dad, tell mom that she's to old to have a blog" they say to me, "what could a mom have to say on a blog?"....and like "memorabilia, they protest,"don't say blog".

i am embarrassing...i am a mom....they are our teenagers...that's the way it's supposed to be...i do tell them that there is so much more embarrassment to come......this may just be the tip of the iceberg....my husband and i are sure they'll be more....and, with a nick name like "little mary mixup", i KNOW there's more to come!

i say"blah, blah, blah, blahGGGGG"! until a wwk ago, i thought it was called a blog because of the blah blah blah of it

i'm still learning the world of blogging.... know these are long and i'm so sorry....it's just that it's my life.....and i love it.

by the way, I LOVE OUR KIDS! everyday is different and that's the best part!

liz

eating bon bons...

my kids go off to school on the bus and they come home on the bus. they really have no idea what i do during the day....as long as i'm here when they get home, they don't usually think to question my whereabouts. they're teenagers.

a few years ago, some of their friend's moms had gone back to work part time and more....my kids were more impressed with the kids who had moms who worked at the gap or polo than the moms who were single moms or doctors juggling it all......it was the discount! it meant more loot! at the time, they said, "mom, you should get a job. ya know...DO something! other moms are getting jobs....why don't YOU get a job at polo?"

within a week of those comments, if i was running late, arriving home in the afternoon after them, they demanded to know, "where are you?......"MOM! you're never home.......how come you're NEVER home
recently, i had to visit my orthepedic surgeon for a follow up visit after a few months of weekly visits to physical therapy....twice a week to physical therapy....30 minutes away...for a problem with my shoulder that had been treated with cortisone after an accident. the therapy began to seem ...well, redundant. i spent hours coming and going and pushing and pulling and pressing. when meeting with my doctor, at our regular scheduled appointment, we exchanged pleasantries, talked a bit about the physical therapist...his name was brad...we were on a first name basis. the doctor and i paused...there was an awkward silence...i broke the silence...i couldn't bear it another minute!

i said in a whisper, " i think we have to end our relationship." the room grew small. the doctor, visibly upset, said, "really? but, why?" "it's not me, it's you", i responded uncomfortably. "i want what's best for you", he said. sadly, he prodded, "how can you feel this way? we've only just begun" ( i could have sworn i heard karen carpenter singing in the backround).....i nodded...."well, you've been wonderful...we've had something very special...a time i'll never forget".....he continued, "are you sure you want to go off on your own?".....i had to break it to him...right then and there. i had had enough. i had to blurt it out....."you've been taking up too much of my time".....that was when he asked the painful question. "why? what do you all day?"

"what do i do all day?" i asked indignantly. moments later, i responded, " well," i was fumbling to find the right words
i, i, ummmm......well, i have kids.".......he asked how many. "two" i said......."how old are they?"....i mumbled, "thirteen and fourteen."......................he was unimpressed.....he was an older man, with grown children, who had obviously multitasked while earning multiple degrees at harvard and yale and other ivys....and birthed multiple children...and continued careers while birthing the babies....(got the picture?) very unimpressed.

"do you work?" he asked. i answered his questions defensively, "well, no....but, i do my artwork, i volunteer, i do lots of things" i groped, "ummm, i have to walk the dogs...we have two."....."and i go to pilates classes." he kept it up...more of these questions! "how many times a week do you go to these pilates classes?" ..........." i try to go at least once a week. that is unless i have a long dog walk or another appointment......i continued pondering the questions. "well, i know i'm busy...."....."actually, there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get everything done"....."sometimes, my husband cooks dinner because i'm so busy!"

finally, i was driven to tell him.........the truth............"i don't know how my days fill up, i don't know what i do, specifically."........"i mean, it's not like i'm sitting home all day EATING BON BONS!" that was it....i cracked under the pressure! i couldn't take another minute."


i walked to the door. i turned towards the doctor. before i walked out the door, i said, "and by the way, you're geographically undesireable!"

it was over. i was free.......................now, what did i do the rest of the day?


liz