without the cupcakes!

the birthday girl woke up this morning, a school day, to her snuggie and new camera.....and other goodies....life is good.  the week goes on!  grace's birthday certainly has been fun for all of us. after school. she asked our neighbors to come over for cupcakes with the 4  year old she babysits and his little baby brother, 15 months old.  grace also had 2 friends over.....to make cupcakes.  everyone came for cupcakes.


the cake mix that i bought was whipped up the moment i said that the oven had been repaired.  that was monday.  rick, my appliance repairman had been here.  he knew that i needed that oven to bake a birthday cake or cupcakes!  even rick knew the birthday reverence we had at our house.

rick and i go way back...our relationship began with a glitch in the washing machine.  he came to save us....it was no big deal to fix...it was just unfortunate that i got tossed under the dryer!  luckily, the washing machine trouble only took one quick visit.  that's when he told us that the load had been too full and some little doo hickety broke off.  oops? who might have overfilled the washer?


rick had won biff over when he praised biff for his wonderful self control involving the washing machine.  rick was delighted that biff had not touched the washing machine in order to look into the problem.  rick had no idea how lucky he was.  biff has been taking things, any thing, apart since he recieved a pocket watch at age 9.  he loved the pocket watch so much that he had to take it apart to see what made it work. wow!


i should be thankful that biff is handy like that. actually, biff himself  comes in handy.  i know i've mentioned how great he is with the christmas tree....he cuts the tree down on the coldest and dampest or snowiest nights, puts it on the car, ties it on, drives us all home and carries it to the house and puts it in the stand!  and he's happy and proud to get the job done.  this is not something that i was familiar with.

  and it stays up.....that was worth marrying him just for that.  he knows i say this.  he also knows i was scarred living in a family with more charlie brown christmas stories than shoul be legal.  many a tear of mine has been shed over a christmas tree.....i wanted to live in a hallmark commercial but instead i felt like our family trees always had a glitch.  sorry, i digress.


biff and rick had a wonderful relationship from the first date/appointment.....at my expense.  they had fun discussing my laundry issues.  my mom didn't spend much time teaching me  laundry techniques....i've learned the hard way. i had to learn it on the streets.   i've learned alot from friends.

when grace was born, my friend karen told me all about stain stick.  she had her baby just months before.  my friend susan had a great cleaning knack and she taught me about chlorox and when to use it.  by the time i had 2 babies, the laundry seemed to multiply.  most likely, grace wearing different clothes every hour based on her need for fancy dress up or bathing suits to coordinate with her snow suits had something to do with quantity.  at some point, i pleaded with my friend cathy....."please tell me what you do to get all of the laundry folded and how do you get stuff so clean?" .....and that was she gave me the laundry tip of my life.  "tide with bleach," she said. "and i buy all white socks...just white!"  and i wondered how my life had grown so complicated.  for one thing, i knew that the end of the "socks of the month" was near.

so, i have learned alot over the years. any morsel of a suggestion?  i'll take it. just put your info. into the comments.  it's never too late.  of course, a little laundry insecurity hasn't been all bad....biff was great about helping me.  especially, in our first apartment....our cute little mary tyler moore apartment on the 3rd floor of a victorian house....3 floors up....stairs.....with laundry in the basement.....3 floors down plus stairs to  the basement......then up, up, up, up!  as wonderful as our little tree house was, i called our basement "the dungeon."  it was a bit dark and dingy.....and to me a bit scary.  he made some major hauls to "the dungeon."

now, here's the thing.....rick actually installed the new oven piece.  the one that was supposed to be white.  after many attempts to get the white.........finding out that they no longer made white...........no longer had any white in stock, i am happy to that we are the proud yet quirky of a newly installed black panel........that's on a white oven....after months of using it as an island, a bookshelf and a plant stand........the piece we settled with is black.......there was no choice.  it looks fabulous!  keep in mind, our standards aren't that high.

so biff, rick and i live happily ever after until....our white refrigerator has an issue....and by then, they probably won't even sell the plain old fashioned white.....the whole world will be stainless....with no magnets on refrigerators.....anywhere in the universe.....but our kitchy kitchen.

when rick left the house that day....we had tears in our eyes!  we had been together, living through this anguish together.....we lived through 2 ovens together....we were....like.....family!  it was over.
we thought it was over....until the dogs barked.....rick was back at the door within minutes!  he couldn't bare to be away!  he was back! ..............he left his toolbox he was so filled with emotion. 

so, on that big day.....to celebrate....grace made cupcakes after school .......2 days before her birthday!  we had all of that time with no oven....it was time for a celebration.  t.j., grace and i had cupcakes!

so, sure enough on grace's real birthday, wednesday......grace wanted the world in to have birthday cupcakes.  something we've done forever.....inviting all of the kids who live nearby!  only.....wait.....alot of families have moved away....nothing personal, i hope.  so, rather than immediately after the bus, we would have some friends in after four o'clock.

t.j. tolerated this well, considering the mix has fewer boys these days... fewer kids actually........now we have to improvise by  importing friends.....and for the birthday girl, it was her friends.

and what do girls do when they get together?  laugh, giggle and share.......facebook time together.  oh, have times changed!  so, fun times were had for all in front of a computer screen.  laughter emanated through the house.  no cupcake essence wafting through this home!  just peals of laughter.

the cupcakes couldn't be made without the mix.  we had no mix!  the cake mix had been used up.  so had the icing....on the oven celebration.  what's a mom to do?

this is when i'm at my best thinking moment!  elli was expected to stop by.  just then, grace asked me to call her mom.  i called her cell to check in.  hallelujah!  they were in the car.....on there way to stop and shop....they would be here after a quick stop!  that was a wonderful moment.  i if they would buy some cake mix and icing for me!  for the birthday girl!
asked
not every mom would be comfortable asking this of another mom.....especially one that has very high cooking credentials....as in a chef!   i'm pretty honest about my domestic dilemmas and this is no surprise to elli's mom.  she came through for me....she delivered elli and the cake mix.  they came to the door and happily gave the yellow cake mix and pink icing to grace, as her gift!  it had been on sale....it was a happy moment for us all!

we talked. the girls laughed. we talked some more.  the girls laughed all day.   t.j. had male bonding with the boys on x-box.  life was good.  elli's mom and i talked so long that the little boys from down the street arrived with heir mom and dad.  they had just eaten dinner!  they had big smiles and gifts for our little lady.  babies in the house!  weeeeeeee!

wait, we promised them cupcakes.....we hadn't made the cupcakes.  i asked grace and the girls to mix up the batter and get them started.  it's just one of those things that grace does when friends come over....make something.....cookies.....cakes.....lemonade stands.....always something to keep us jumping.  only today, she put it off.  facebook was the leader of the world.....nothing could break them away.

so, elli's mom left when she realized the time.  elli remained.....with grace and kate......and t.j. playing x-box.....and the 2 little boys and their mom and dad.  that's when biff got home.  what fun we all had.  only, no cupcakes.

it's a sad day for me when i have broken a promise to a 4 year old.  little jack woke up that morning talking about caroline's birthday.  he told his mom that he wasn't going to school......because it was grace's birthday!  he must have known my family history with birthdays.  he waited for the right time to come for cupcakes.....he even brought grace a present!

it was bait and switch.  the time flew by while we all shared some stories.......they had to leave.....it was his bedtime....with no possibility of a cupcake in sight....the girls were still at the computer.  we had to send jack off with cookies and milk.  he was happy..... but it was no cupcake.  now, we'll have to have a day with make up cupcakes.

with the kitchen finally quiet, the girls came out to the kitchen to make the cupcakes.  as the cupcakes baked, kate's dad came to the door to pick her up.  he came in the kitchen to chat while she got ready.....i mean, she had to be torn away from the facebook fun.  we stood and talked for awhile.  we laughed about the oven and the kitchen.  he owned a kitchen business!  we almost had a new kitchen by the time he left.  although, i just wouldn't be able to part with that oven....not yet!

well, no cupcakes for kate.  she was whisked away into the night with no cupcake...the reason she had been here...to celebrate with the birthday girl.  then, it was time for us to drive elli home.  you guessed it.  no cupcake....and they bought the mix!

so, we all had a great day.....birthdays are even if we had to wait for the cupcakes!

polliwog pond

it seems like yesterday.   it was on a thursday night.  i was at our favorite ice skating rink....not skating.  just watching.  never much fun for me to  just watch ice skaters.....i was watching biff and claire, our niece.... i wanted to be on the ice!

i do love to see the different characters at a rink.....after all, biff was one of those characters!  he was 'the guy that worked at brooks brothers".  there were others...plenty of others...lots and lots of characters.  we only knew them by their names....the ones we made up.  strangers of a club....strangers who liked to skate....characters.  we were too.

our rink, where biff and i met, is on long island's gold coast.  it's the north shore of long island.   manhasset, at one time,  was a quiet bedroom community.  families connected by schools, churches, neighborhoods, commuters and clubs.( http://www.tenderbar.com/)

christopher morley park was built in the mid 60's, i think.  for me, it was futuristic with an ice rink, some swimming pools, a golf course and trails.....it was new...it was bigger than polliwog!

polliwog pond was the ice skate place....for our friends and neighbors.  it was up the street for some, down the hill for all, through the woods for others, and around the block for most.

free.....running...climbing...skating...fishing...bike riding.....baseball playing...jumping.....sledding.....all kids.  at the same time, quiet and peaceful. fun. plain, old fashioned fun.  there were always kids to be found.  i don't remember parents ever being at polliwog. there was always something to do.  we were outside.  we walked there.....we knew everyone.  it's where we grew up. where else would we be?

manhasset.  that's was home.  it was a town with a local 5&10cent store........ regional grocery stores that employed local high school kids to stock their shelves..... gather grocery carts........check out shoppers who knew them by name, as well as the names of the rest of the family....... locally owned restaurants with local kids busing tables and waiting  tables........small town soda shops......hometown sports stores with local team logos on hand....family owned clothing stores......families lived in the town for generations.....families knew families. that was our manhasset. 

manhasset has evolved.  long island has evolved.  the world has evolved. good, better, best....bad, worse, worst....good,bad....bad, good....who knows.  it all depends on your perspective.  some see the world as the haves and have nots. some see the world as then and now.  i just see my world....my way.  and that's how i like it!  i don't mean that i'm narrow minded.  i just feel best when i go through life my way.  i'll explain....

 

just as manhasset has evolved..... with glamorous boutiques where we once bought bubble gum and  gadgets, coloring books and turtles, ice cream and keds......some of us branched out from polliwog to christopher morley, a county park....with identification and proof of residence was needed.  we stepped a bit outside of our neighborhood.  we had to be driven....too far too walk..a public rink had a schedule.....to much traffic on the roads.... far too many strangers....not as much local.

we bought turtles where now there's a tiffany & co., we bought coloring books where there's a burberry, we bought gadgets where there's a gucci,  we bought keds where there's a brooks brothers., we bought ice cream where there's a william & sonoma.

i shop there now, if i have to. it's hard to get parking space.  all of the cars are foreign.  the people come from all over. i don't see anyone from town. biff calls it generica.  it's just evolved....into generica.

it was 15 years ago tonight, that i stood watching biff ice skate, where we met 18 years ago.....he skated with my niece....i waited for them....i waited for our baby....that was due anytime.  i was tired and i wanted to be skating.  i left them.....skating. oreos were needed....for the baby, of course!  i stopped at the big grocery store for oreos.  i plodded through laura ashley.....dreaming about my baby to be.

christopher morley was a small skating community in a big world. there was biff, the guy i thought worked at brooks brothers.  there was the skate dancing couple who seemed so in love.  there was an attendant who was lonely. there was the manager who talked about his winter house...somewhere else.  there were lots of "rink rats", the little regulars who teased the instructors.  there was the skating family....we dreamed we'd have our own "rink rats" someday.

that someday was soon.  our baby was letting us know.... she was born the next night. 

while baking cupcakes for grace's birthday today, i heard the reporter on the t.v. say, "live, in manhasset."  there was a big blue and gold "manhasset" sign in the backround.....and the pizza parlor, our favorite.....where the guys knows us by name...

he talked with a "local", noting the  benefits of living in this north shore location.... just a train ride from manhattan.  he waxed poetic of the "americana shopping center".....he compared the fine stores to those of rodeo drive and madison avenue in new york. that was not the manhasset that mattered to me. that's not where i grew up.

life changes, people change, things change and places change.  that's o.k.  i just can't give in.  i can give in to change.  you know what "they" say?  "they" say, "the only thing constant is change."

it's true.  i can't change that.  i can only change the way i deal with it.  and that's the start of doing it my way.

 

one of the greatest gifts that i know is having a sense of community.  anywhere.  another saying,"it's not what ya know, it's who ya know."....and that's very true for me.....oh, no...not in the whole social climbing world. it's not where we lived, it's the way we lived....that's the way we wanted to bring up our children. living in a big world with a small town feel. i just feel like the theme song cheers...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD8ljNobUys

that was my manhasset...that small town. that's the way i like to live.  that's the way biff likes to live.  that's the way we try to show our kids, by example.  it seems so silly to even think of teaching that.  i take that for granted.  it's the way i grew up...and the way i learned to live.  even in new york city, i got to know tony, our pizza man.  we knew maria, our corner bodega.  we knew gus at our diner.  we made it home.  we made it our small town.

some may take that manhasset living for granted. some may think those days are long gone. even though the stores have changed and  some of the people have changed......for many families who have remained, manhasset is still in tact.....it's still home. they make it that way. 

even in our evolved world.  today, so many families are living scattered around the globe......corporate moves.....divorce....more 2 income families out of necessity, not as many moms home during the day, not as many families at home.......activities....activities....schedules....time.

and my way, to deal with the urban sprawl of our world, is to look at people.  i like to talk to people who help me, even in a big store.  i like to stay local.  i love to shop.  i like to know where i'm shopping.  i like to be greeted and return the friendly hello.  i like to call people by name.  i like to say thank you.  even in the grossest chain giant, i like to say hello to their "greeters".  now we have "greeters."

the first time i took our kids to a walmart, they waved hello and talked to "stanley", the greeter....he was an older gentleman at the door.  our little kids called that walmart "the stanley store."   they thought that it was his store. he added a personal touch.  he recognized us whenever we walked through the door.  and we acknowledged him.  i like that small town feeling.

no agenda. nothing to prove. i like the way i grew up.  i'm not pining for yesteryear, i'm loving today. i'm making "my way." and that's how we want our kids growing up. we want them to be aware of what a big world we live in....our hope for them is that they grow up feeling like they have a big part to play in this world...i hope we lead by example. 

hey, who ever would have guessed, i have a blog.  i get to write words on an itty bitty keyboard by pushing buttons, the words show up on the screen immediately and *POOF* with one click, my words spring out into the world.  now, that's cool. even that helps me to feel connected.

whoever would have thunk it possible?  especially, in the days of keds sneakers and lemonade stands and ice skating at polliwog pond?

My Way

i see the world my way! that's how i like it!

Happy Birthday - The Beatles

happy birthday to you!

birthday olympics!

tuesday...up early and out to a meeting.  i left both dogs at home.  i just needed to be out on my own with no other responsibilities.  crazy as that sounds, i wanted to be alone with no needs to meet except my own.  that's not to say that everything i did this morning was just for me.  there was also some run around for the kids and some shopping forthe family.  i also had our birthday girl to think of.  and i'm still thinking of her birthday and what we'll have out for her before school we want to give her the camera before school so that she can enjoy it all day.  that's pretty much the most important thing in her life right now. not school, her camera... which is a key component of her social life.  i also have to buy a balloon or two....for the morning festivities. that's not to say that everything i did this morning was just for me.  there was also some run around for the kids and some shopping forthe family.  i also had our birthday girl to think of.  and i'm still thinking of her birthday and what we'll have out for her before schoolwe want to give her the camera before school so that she can enjoy it all day.  that's pretty much the most important thing in her life right now. not school, her camera... which is a key component of her social life.  i also have to buy a balloon or two....for the morning festivities.

let me explain.  i'm the one that created the tradition of the morning birthday festivities.  you see, i come from a long line of big birthday bashes.  i'm not sure how far back they go, but the crazy celebrations continue into our next generation of balloon blowers and horn tooters.  it's not the actual celebration that's outrageous...it's the length of the celebration that makes these birthdays outstanding.

my grandfather always said, "it's a good birthday if it lasts all week."  advice our family has taken to heart.  birthday notes include his sentiments and thanks to long distance relatives, we've had birthdays last a month.

my birthday, in august, seemed to fall on vacation time in vacation locations....so celebrations were especially memorable. we've had birthday cakes, cupcakes, pancakes and muffins, donuts with candles, sparklers and streamers.....on the beach, in a boat or backyard barbeque....with family and friends to share the big day. it's no wonder this tradition travels on!

my mom is responsible for the birthday donut. grace and t.j. continue her legacy.....plain old fashioned donuts and a candle start the day off right.  on t.j.'s fourth birthday, we were camping with friends....on an island....only accessible by boat.  as we approached our launch, i panicked.  we had to turn around.  we had to buy donuts!....for the morning kick off.

with donuts stashed in the large canvas tote, we were off! we were happy campers!  prepared like boy scouts, for our  barbeque, s'mores, sparklers and fireworks, we set up our campsite.  we kept our food out of reach...in coolers....we pitched our tents.......four tents, one for each family.....our friends lent us their old tent since they had just upgraded. whispers, giggles and flashlights eminated from those tents.  and then, quiet.
  
until the middle of the night....i woke up....groggy but aware of a presence...puzzled, i peered about...and as my eyes focused...i saw  a small stuffed animal alongside t.j.....it appeared to be moving.....it was a..... it was a skunk.....hmmmm.....a what?.......a SKUNK.

with t.j. to my left, biff and grace to my right, i could see....it WAS a SKUNK!  not the greatest girl scout, i jabbed my boyscout, biff.  he was jolted to consciousness.  i motioned to t.j., sleeping in his sleeping bag, looking like he was wearing a black and white davey crocket hat.....we whispered to each other in fear of a spray....biff grabbed a flashlight and pointed toward the skunk.

he was poised by the large canvas bag...he was....eating DONUTS.  the birthday donuts!

it seems there was a little problem. during our dash to the boat, i stashed our donuts in the large canvas bag.....they never made it to the cooler...where we had the food locked up tight.  instead, they remained in the bag....in the tent!
while biff flashed the light on the grass near the skunk, we both held our breath and our tongues.  we remained frozen.....until biff led the skunk out through the RIP in the zipper.  always remember this.....keep the birthday donuts out of reach......never borrow a hand me down tent....don't ever tell a skunk where the donuts are stored. 

thankfully, our birthday boy never knew of the prowler....until morning....one box of donuts remained untouched......we sang happy birthday to our four year old!   and that's just a snippet of our birthday lore.


excuse me please.  it's time to wrap some little gifts....decorate the kitchen with streamers and balloons........ and leave a little surprise by grace's bed.  the donuts are hidden....with the candles....and a few balloons at the mailbox....and go to sleep.

let the games begin!  it's the birthday olympics!

monday on tuesday!

i had a great time sitting down today to write. i love how i have an idea as i start to write and as i continue writing, the next words come....and then i'm sure where i'm going with my story....maybe you're not too sure...but i have an idea of what i want to write. i love how that happens!

this, however moved monday into tuesday as i went with my camera to take real pics of photo albums from yesteryear to coordinate with my words....now that's where i found myself going beyond a few photos....i stopped to enjoy them....then, i uploaded them and placed them with my story...i like them to be properly situated....and that's how monday turned into tuesday.....even with the mamas and the papas song, i have managed to lose a day on the day that i specifically called monday. and now monday is on tuesday! did you understand that? i'm not sure that i did. but since i'm me and i always have been me, i'm used to this!

monday, monday!

what a day. rainy, windy mild....where is this weather coming from. it is very strange. i went out to walk the dogs and found myself being blown down the road while being pelted with hard raindrops...imagine 2 golden retrievers who were just as happy to go home as they were to go for a work in the woods...the streams are filled to the brim. i have on my big rain boots and windbreaker with hood pulled tight....and still soaked.

i came back in the house and fed the dogs their breakfast. while they chomped away at their chunky kibble and slurped their water, i slowly puttered about making my own starbucks italian roast. warm again, i sat down on the couch for a quiet moment to enjoy my monday morning and gather my thoughts and get some last minute to do lists settled.

this is a big week at our house. i have a daughter who is within days of fifteen years old. she has very specific hopes for her birthday. she has told us what birthday gift she really wants....she has told us that this year she would like to have a sleepover with an intimate group of about 15 girls......she has told us that she really craves the official snuggee of the infamous snuggee commercial..a cult phenomenon. she would like her snuggee to be zebra striped or pink. i'm on it.

the gift that she wants is a new digital camera. she has had her own for about 2 years, a gift form a photo loving aunt. grace has worn that camera out. they just don't make things the way they used to! she has been in a desperate state without being able to depend on the service of her well worn camera. she has taken good care of it.

i can relate. grace loves to take pictures, she has a very artistic eye and she has loved every minute of having her own camera, especially in this digital age of photos with friends on facebook and in her computer. i think at her age, i was just as thrilled with each picture that i took.

taking pictures today is very different for our kids. we took pictures only if we thought to buy film and had to carefully choose what pictures to take.....we had to think ahead.....so that we would not use up our film.....just as the most memorable kodak moment occurred! i know. i had a photography addiction. a serious one.

i bought my film in rolls of 36. i had to buy a lithium battery for my very advanced minolta camera. i had to have batteries available at all times for the additional flash attachment. i loved the zoom...it allowed me to take pictures that were close up and candid and with and incredibly professional look. i loved the process. buy the film, check the battery, click carefully or randomly, knowing that the end of the film would eventually come.

i had to think ahead. it was not even a thought to go to a wedding or event with less than 12 rolls of film...ya never know...and i never wanted to be held back from the creative kodak moment. i felt loyal to kodak. that's the film that i started with.

i started with a camera that i bought on cape cod, on my 11th birthday with my own birthday money. i still remember that momentous purchase. it was at a chain store called zayres. i bought the camera and a cartridge of film for $11.77, a princely sum. i was quite proud. i took my own pictures for the remainder of our family vacation. shortly after that purchase, i became the keeper of the camera and carried that camera at all occasions.

i took the pictures and removed the cartridge. i filled out a mail order form for development. it was for mystic color labs. i don't even know if they exist in this day and age. it was a very exciting experience...to fill out the form.....to enclose the film cartridge/s.....a check, written by my mom or by me when i was in college.....lick the envelope.....pop it into the mailbox. the best feeling was at that moment that i heard the thud when it landed at the bottom of the mailbox. that was when the anticipation began.....waiting, waiting, counting the days....until a fat stuffed mystic pre-addressed envelope mad it back to me at my home address.

that was when the real fun and surprises began. opening, looking quickly through the pile to judge each photograph and the individual/s in the photo. then, after disposing of any out of focus, blurry prints, blinking subjects, it was finally time to share with others...a select few. one of my other favorite moments was inserting each prized picture into the photo album.

i loved to create the album. long scrapbooking came into my world, i made my own collages on the pages of my photo album. some were with maps and airline tickets and hotel room service door tags, menus, napkins and appropriate words cut out of magazines to describe our trip. of course, with photos. i took so much time working on the layout, sortingbefore the photos, writing names and places and dates on the backs and placing them carefully on the album pages. i loved putting on the finishing touches. then it was time....i loved this part most of all....sharing the photo albums with everyone who had been on the trip....then, sharing the album with everyone else.

our children know nothing about this old school technology. they can barely remember film. i remember 35mm film in 12, 24 and 36 rolls. i remember 127 cartridges, i think. i remember 110 cartridges. i remember the high tech polaroid insta-camera. i remember getting my minolta camera as a gift almost 20 years ago...a hundred years, in techno-time.

that camera went to weddings, christenings, family birthdays,vacations, beach days, new babys, annual christmas photos for friends' families, my favorite wedding of all...biff and i....our new babies, birthday babies and the whole new world that opened up with our babies.

and then, we went digital. after years of jumping out of the car to buy film just before the event, life changed. in some ways, life was simplified. but are the photographs we take today taken for granted.

our children can see their pictures appear on the screen of their digital cameras within seconds. they can push a button and delete the photo before anyone even blinks. the camera is smaller than palm size and flatter than a television remote. they can take an itty bitty chip out of their camera, put it in their own computer and upload pictures onto the computer. within minutes,they are able to have the pictures downloaded to their own facebook page. and they become the days greatest headlines to share with 999 friends. they are posted in a neatly organized with album cover and name.

they post the photos with "tags", their friends' names. the photos have captions. these photos are out there for the world to enjoy....all within minutes...of whatever random event that takes place. there are pictures of shoes, eyeballs, snow days, beach days, birthdays, cats, girls, boys, girls and boys, toes, trees, cars, dogs, books, lockers, sports events and non-events. everything is newsworthy and share-worthy. once the pics are posted, all of the comments begin. met with approval, dislikes, screeches and oohs and ahhhs. within minutes.

and to think of the time i spent waiting day after day at my mailbox. i have memories of our friends, in college, sitting at the cafeteria table, ecstatic to see someone arrive with their self addressed mailer envelope filled with pictures that may have covered the last month of events....and usually, the pictures were of events back then. cameras then were for occasions, mostly!

i had pictures returning weekly. it was a thrill! we spent time flipping one by one gasping or singing out names while others hovered, waiting to get a glimpse.....we showed them back in the dorm or sitting out on the steps to the cafeteria. receiving those pictures was just as much an event as the event it self!

just since my first baby was born, we've gone digital! her two year old camera is semi-outdated. in two years, cameras have already advanced. zoom, pixels, chips, shutter speed, colors, size, focus......my baby is living in a whole new age!

she will get her camera, no real surprise. whe will get a sleep over....15 girls....no way, maybe 5....i just bought the snuggee, the official snuggee! no random snuggee for my baby. it seems like minutes ago that my bay girl was all swaddled on the way home from the hospital, on a sunny but freezing superbowl sunday....

and here i sit....making some last minute birthday plans....on a balmy, rainy, windy monday morning.

ahhhh.....monday, monday.

Twitter Moms: The Influential Moms Network

thankfully, i'm used to it!

hi my blog friends!  you might notice that the blog below, "change is good" looks a bit kooky, with multiple print colors in random locations......i didn't mean to "mixup" my colors....i've spent hours trying to figure out what buttons i've pushed to create the crazy color scheme.....i am baffled....biff was called in to aid my technological sneeze.....he can't figure it out either.  my words are the same......apparently, the colors have been changed to protect the innocent.  innocent?  who's innocent? me!  i plead the fifth. i'm innocent, technologically.   i'm learning.  just when i thought i had a handle on this little blog thing, *POOF*, i don't!  i think you'll understand how ''littlemarymixup" came to be.  stuff just happens and thankfully, i'm used to it!

change is good.

what a great day.  thankful that we got to make a quick trip to ski for the day today....it's so much fun to be out in the glorious sunshine and nice cold but comfortable weather.  we got up and out early.....and off we went.  not far.  not big. not glamorous.  but, great!

grace had a friend with her today...kind of a pre-birthday treat.  t.j. worked on his snowboarding, biff and i enjoyed some lift time together.  we all shared some time together on the lift lines, lifts and the slopes.  we had a great day.  it was a joy to have so much fun jam packed in one day.  this is the kind of day that i call a "vacation in a bottle". these days just pop up in our lives and i treasure them.

first, it's great to have a day where there are no big plans and we can all be in one place. second, it's very nice to be able to make a day trip to some pretty awesome places.  third, it is a blast to have the time with our kids and just having plain old fashioned fun and enthusiasm.  please remember, we have teenagers.

i know it is a joy to be with them everyday.....please recognize how very grateful i am!   very true.  it's just that this teen thing has been a huge adjustment.  i know, i should be used to it by now.  it's been creeping up on me slowly....first, they     didn't want me to be anywhere in the same zip code when they were getting off the bus.....i got away with being outside, down the street, walking the dogs. second, they started to stop waving to me when they saw me in their school, they would see me and kind of wave me away.  third, they stopped telling me long, involved stories about their school day while they sat with me at the kitchen table, having a snack or doing homework.....now, they get home, mumble some unclear words about the lack of food in our refrigerator and look to the computer for facebook chatter.

yes, they do talk to me and i have very nice relationships with both kids, it's just changing.  o.k., i'm not the first mom to have teens.  it's not a big deal.  oh yes it is!  to me. and it's not a big deal. life changes and we have to roll with it.  change is good.  change keeps us fresh.  change allows the new to come into our lives.  change allows us to let go of the unnecessary, making room for more new.

yes i know this.  i do.  i just make the adjustment slowly....and finally, let go and let it happen.  as if i could stop it .  really, it's kind of cool having people to talk to that understand more and more every day.  on the other hand, it's kind of tough to be with kids who think that they know more than me.  in general.  or specifically anything technologically....phone, computer, cell phone, cameras and more.

they can't help themselves. they have to separate. it's all a part of growing up.  they're starting to notice our flaws.  we are chock full of them and thankfully, we are pretty aware of them.  maybe we just don't need to be 

you see, when i was born, i was "baby girl littlemarymixup"...o.k., that endearing nickname didn't come til much later, with love and laughter.  anyway, next to   "babygirl littlemarymixup" in the hospital nursery, there was a baby boy.  his last name made him worthy of a nickname that is now a part of our family lore.  his name was not exactly this, but it got distilled and turned into "jerko".  hence, the name, "boy jerko".  yes, i was the lucky little lady to have my little nursery date be "boy jerko".  and that was the name that anyone, who made a mistake big or small...."oh, what a boy jerko"..."you boy jerko"...."i'm such a boy jerko"...."what are you, boy jerko?"i never got the full pronunciation of his name.  thank goodness.  i might have been tempted to look him up on facebook....NOT.

thankfully, biff and i are not from the "you'll poke an eye out" generation. we're the generation that celebrates who they are, even if they're wearing bathing suits in the snow...yes, grace and t.j.   apparently, our kids will be.  they are not parentally correct.  they point out everything from poppyseeds in our teeth to the volume of our sneezes.  it's lovely.

everyday, when the wheels on the bus go round and round, i see the kids go off to school.  i charge up my batteries and take care of life...my life, the lives of biff and i, and the lives of our family.  i build myself up...i may do volunteer work, work on our house, do some of my own work, work in our home.....and i'm proud.

i'm puffed up to just be me...kind of proud of what i can accomplish for the good of the world....or maybe the good of our plumbing (that's water...for the world...we turn off the flow when we brush!) or for the good of our golden retrievers or just for the good of world laundry.  i'm just doing me and us.

and a teen or two walks in the door.  they start out with their mumble...sometimes a mumble with enthusiasm...like a nod of a head or a simple smile as they pass by.  and that's that.  i'm just there.  meandering through the house.  just there.  being me.   cleaning. not so much cooking.  doing. painting. reminding.  asking.  doing. giving. reminding again.  listening when someone needs to be heard.  not listening, when someone does not want to be heard.  cooking sometimes....what is liked by all and sometimes not so much.  reminding again...some little things need more prodding than others.   like, homework....emptying the dishwasher, transporting the laundry from one room to another, sometimes involving stair climbing.

imagine.  when these teens were little people....following me around the house....looking for me...talking to me non-stop....wanting and wanting and wanting.....something and some other thing and that thing.....they loved being in the middle of anything that i was working on.  i tried to put dishes in the sink....they tried to climb in the dishwasher.  i tried to sort laundry...they jumped in laundry piles and turned it into hide and seek games.


i used to dream of just being in the bathroom alone.  now the golden retrievers or the cats bump the     door to join me.  i'm kind of flattered.  i mean, they do want to be with me.  and they are always      enthusiastic and happy to see me.

life is changing everyday.  so are we.  i like it....it just takes a little getting used to. if today was an example of kids growing up and the way we all fit together these days, change is good.

Crosby, Stills, and Nash - Our House

the mood of the day.

just a day.

sometimes it's just nice to have a day.  just a day.  with no plans.  no appointments.  no meetings.  no agenda.  i didn't plan my day to be like this.  it just is.

that's the nice part.  it just happened.  i have a cold.  just a cold. foggy, headache, sore throat.  just a cold. it is making me feel tired and rundown.

i'm not complaining.  i'm just tired.

and so, i've decided not to fight it.  i'm at home, doing laundry and cleaning.  just not with the gusto of other days.  the dogs and cats are sleeping.  i'm not planning to sleep. i'm not that tired.  i started out kind  of slow today.

the first thing i did was take a shower.  just to feel warm.  when i came downstairs, my head began running through a list of to do items....then, as i walked into the kitchen, more to do items popped up.

i was putting something in the family room and other to do lists flashed in front of me.

walking through the playroom on the way to the laundry, i realized there are some things to take care of there too.

i sat down with my coffee.  i just sat. and sat.  i love to have one of those maxwell house moments.  you know the ones, where the woman is sitting, looking at the steam rise from her cup.....sometimes she's wrapped up in a quilt....on the couch....with a cute dog at her feet.......maybe a fire in the fireplace.  and then, we see her sip the coffee quietly.


that's how i want to feel today.  just quiet. just content.  just let all of the lists   and projects and to do's that  bounce about in my head, on a daily basis,    wait......settle down. they are always there.  they will always be there.


but today, i think i'll just let them bounce and not try to catch them all.  maybe a few.  the laundry's in.  the dogs and cats are sleeping. still.  calm.  peaceful.

maybe i'll just sit with my coffee and have a day.  just a day.

the color of my nails

i just got a phone call.  from my doctor's office.  no. not as scary as it sounds.  only scary because i've gotten this kind of call before.  i missed my appointment.  the day, date and time.  i try.  everyday i try to do my best....to have a plan, ahead of time.  to work from the plan. i am religious about the planning....  and then, the phone call.  it's not that i'm worried about the appointment, it can be rescheduled.  it's that i'm just like this.

oh, put in on a calendar and stop whining, you say.  well, i do that.  i have lots of pretty calendars, lots of pretty datebooks and all sorts of doo hickies and devices that will set alarms and buzzers and pings that will alert me.  and i am alert.  it's jsut not at the right time or day.

today is wednesday....the 20th....of january...the year is 2010.  got it.  just one little problem. i thought today was wednesday the 19th....and that's the problem.  yesterday, i had to write a check.  i wrote the 19th.  later in the day, i heard someone say that it was the 18th.  i assumed that they were right.  why do i assume that other people are right.  i guess that's because i'm wrong so much of the time......on the dates. at least, that's what i'll admit to.

so, just before posting this blog, i sat clicking keys on my laptop and my phone.  i got a pretty colored marker, pink for february and valentines day month and began turning pages and writing.  i have, once again, made note of the date for my rescheduled appointment.

got that.  january 20th, wednesday, which i thought was january 19th, wednesday.  see, one day can make a difference.

take it from me, i know.  this kind of living is now something i take for granted.  some people would be flustered by this.  i am only flustered when i pick up the phone and hear the voice of the person i am planning to meet tomorrow.....because that's a sign....for me....it signals my brain immediately.  i freeze. i know. it's supposed to be today.

a day late and a dollar short.  what does that mean?  it sounds like it has something to do with scheduling though.

don't put off today what you can do tomorrow.  oh wait...don't put off today when you know that the phone call will come later...oh wait....don't put off anyone.  just do it.  that's probably how nike started.  someone like me had had enough mix ups.....hung up the phone and just stood there and shouted, "just do it!"

it's not my age.  i've been like this forever.  it's not my beauty...i have plenty of blonde highlights but i'm no dumb blonde.  maybe a few traits here or there.....maybe i'll give into the blondes have more fun thing but that's as far as i go.

i have a record.  not a police record.  not an album.  not a track record.  just a record and a long history of mishaps with dates.

the first date with my husband, i thought, was to be on a friday night.  we discussed the weekend and our best possible night for a date.  we talked again on thursday night, after skating.  i told him about a friends party on saturday night...we talked about that and we talked about friday night.  i left him thursday night thinking i would be seeing him friday night.  only, friday night, no biff.  hmmmmm.  i couldn't believe such a nice guy would stand me up. ooh, it bugged me.  why did i think he was a good guy. easy come, easy go.  oh, not so easy buster.  i called him.  i had an attitude.  he seemed so casual about blowing me off.  he was.  he wasn't the least bit apologetic. nothing. odd.  strange. wierd. nothing.  i finally said it was a shame to miss out on a nice date.

what? date?  today?  he was silent.  he finally spoke.  he told me that we had planned for saturday night.  he told me he thought we said saturday.  saturday?  the friend's party?  he was planning on going with me to that.  was he a day late or was i a day early?

thankfully, be both have alot of go with the flow in us.  or maybe that's what keeps our spark alive.  we never know what's next.

it's january.  i'm clear on that.  one week from today is my daughter's birthday.  i guess it's no surprise that the night before my first baby was born, i was out getting a manicure and a pedicure.  pretty color. pretty fingers. pretty toes. i sat at the nail salon, talking with some friends who were also there for some primping.  i talked about the baby to be's due date and all of the anticipation and excitement.

i had a long night ahead of me.  it was shortly after the manicure and pedicure that my labor slowly began..........i wasn't terribly comfortable for the rest of the night.......when an old friend called from california late that night, i was telling her about my discomfort.......she told me i was in labor.  o.k. biff and i were pretty intelligent people.......we had to have a friend call from across the whole country to tell us that i was in labor!

it's true. and the next morning, as we drove to the hospital.....in lots of discomfort....both of us...mine was physical....griff's was just a tad uncomfortable mentally.  new dad and all of that stuff.

when he called the doctor to tell him of our situation, the receptionist asked if we would like an appointment.  since i missed the appointment the night before.  oops. i missed the appointment.  my own doctor's appointment.  for the baby.  my baby.  the one that i was waiting for....for nine months......for my whole life.

i was supposed to have a doctor's appointment for one of the biggest events of my life.  i missed that.   for a manicure and a pedicure.

at the hospital, the midwife asked me why i missed my appointment.  i confessed.  although, i'm happy to say, the midwife and doctor did compliment me on the color of my nails.

turned on.

it's tuesday morning.  the kids are back at school. biff is off to work. i'm almost ready to go to a scheduled appointment.  i've started another load of laundry.  boy, do we have laundry.  we are only 4 people.  4 people with 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish.

thankfully, the fish have no clothing.  the cats take care of their own coats.  the dogs may require some loungewear washed on occasion, but they're not too picky.  and boy do they know how to lounge.  they have a comfy bed in the family room and a fleecepad with a touch of leopard.  they don't seem to object to lying on a print of a very large, jungle cat.  i guess it makes tham feel either accessorized or superior. there is another pretty dogbed in the living room, a little more along the floral shabby chic decor.  and since daisy has always been a loyal sleep next to me kind of dog, she has her own sealy posturpedic in our bedroom, it's about 7 inches thick with a faux shearling cover.  it may be more comfy than our bed.



so, there is no explanation for the constant flow of giant laundy circulating through this house.  blacks, whites, colors.....pinks with reds, blue jeans, bright blues and greens.....it goes down the stairs...lug, lug, lug....sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort.......one load, another, another, another, another,  washer, dryer, washer, dryer, washer, dryer washer, dryer, washer, dryer, washer, dryer.......lug, lug, lug, lug, lug, lug, lug, lug, lug, lug, lug....fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, fold..........stack, stack, stack, stack, stack, stack, stack.....ready for pick up.....ready for pick up....ready for pick up....ready for pick up.

then it begins....."please pick of your pile of clean laundry and put it away....in your drawers.  no, not on the drawers.....in the drawers.  no, not on the chair.....in the drawers."

"please put your laundry in the laundry basket.  please put that laundry in the laundry basket.  why is that clean towel on the floor?  please hang up that towel.  please pick up that clean towel.  why are all of those clothes on the floor?  no they're not dirty, they are clean....i just washed them.  how did those clean clothes get in your laundry basket.  or, where is your laundry basket?  oh, i couldn't see it under all of those clothes.  where is the dirty laundy? are you sure this is all of your laundry....then why is there still stuff on the floor?"

please refer to my third paragraph to see what happens next...i think you may be familiar with the routine....although since others in the world have it down to a perfect science, i've only been doing this for a few years.  after all, my kids are teens.  that's when the laundry game changed.  that's when they forgot everything that we spent time teaching them for years.  that's when they got that distracted look on their faces?  what laundry?  they peek out from under the piles and piles of laundry that they are under....they aren't really trying to look at me....they are just trying to breathe.

oh and i'm not a laundry martyr....my husband is sensitive new age or desperate for navy socks, he does lots of laundry too.....even the kids have learned some pieces of the laundry puzzle, like folding....sometimes sorting and turning on the washer and pouring half a gallon of tide in the wash, with bubbles from here to the next pile of laundry.......sometimes switching a load.....

we are blessed to have so much....or are we.....isn't it just too much.....too many.....we have lots and lots.

we share, we give away, we donate, we hand down.

and we still have more...on the floor...in the drawers...in the closets....in summer storage.....

and yet, this morning grace asked me for her white j. crew v-neck t-shirt.  she had made that request last night.  imagine that girl, thinking ahead like that.  she specifically asked for that white shirt...no other.
oh, i said,"it's in the dryer."

i went to the dryer.  it had never been turned on.