this link below is a very funny song by kate heidke miller, an australian singer.  it has some very spicy language but in the case of a broken off love from long ago....and that old beau has found you on facebook!
she was the warm up for ben folds last night.  quirky, great singer, very kitchy and out there!  it was great for us...especially since we live such provincial lives in connecticut. she was reminiscent of the actor friends we knew in our 20 something lives in new york city!

she's a singer with some wild style and she's loved in her home australia and other spots in the world.  of course, she may take a while to hit the big time in new york!  what i loved was hearing her creativity and joy in her work!  it takes so much for an actor, singer or artist of any kind to stay true to themselves....just putting it out there!

1st version...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ
2nd version...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwzENVzE3DQ

i do think if you've ever loved and lost, you'll enjoy this song....it's the same old song, but with a different meaning since you've been gone!  the story has been the same  forever and ever!  kate's version is updated to facebook status!

so far, facebook has been fun for me.  It's really fun to be in touch with so many folks from yesteryear.  it's not that i'm filling my life with people from years ago and hoping to forge new and better relationships....i'm aware....and that's not my intention...it sure is lots of fun...it feels like "bumping into friends" in our little town or after college in  bustling city street!  i've always been one to keep in touch....as our friend susannah used to say, "are you going to invite all of your friends from kindergarten to your wedding?"....well, not quite...but we had friends there that we had known our whole lives....and my second grade teacher too!  susannah was not so far off.

so, to me facebook is just popping in to say hello to a boy from 7th grade....or some of the fun quips some of our old group from our little private school..... a cousin, i have 23 spread all over the country...an aunt or uncle...an in law ...a niece or nephew....sharing little bits and bobs of our lives allowing us all to have a little more connection.  seems to me, if there are such diverse groups of people on facebook, we're all looking for a little more connection in our own world.

it seems like today in our giant world, we barely know our neighbors. it's strange to me for so many people with so much in common...if only a town or children or dogs or gardens.....to barely know the names of the family next door or on the next street.  Maybe we wouldn't care to break bread together but it seems much nicer when we have a little connection!

That's been on my mind lately.  we live in a wonderful town with wonderful people....homogenous in most ways and so many interesting people with a variety of interests, careers and passions.  we all cross paths every day. living our own lives, taking care of our children, working long hours, living our busy lives side by side...with no connection.

i remember a long time go, working at a bank, interviewing representatives from companies eager to get our business to install our first cash machines.  at that time, the woman pitching her business explained to me that "someday in the future" we would all carry one card that would allow us to access money, pay for groceries, fill our cars up with gasoline and buy our movies to bring home to watch with our families at our home. 

all of this seemed appalling to me...impossible actually.
kate, the saleswoman, had information that indicated someday in the future, we would all be living close to home....working on our computers....staying home and watching movies rather than at the movie theatre....almost reclusive.

are we there yet?  maybe that's a stretch....we are living in a world that allows people to "connect" with computers....seems that it started with e-mail rather than the written note.

we've been to town meetings that show our children in the community "aren't feeling the love of the community, don't have many role models outside of their own parents, many are left on there own too many hours....and i wonder why they don't feel connected!

people move...relocate...move to a bigger house...a "better" address...life happens. is it better?  double incomes, better cars, more vacations, better toys for young and old.....where's the connection?

Visiting my hometown over easter weekend, we drove up my old street and by my old house...i pointed out the houses and called out the names of our neighbors. a suburban, bedroom community....designed by the metropolitan museum of art with american artist as street names....families knew each other.  most moms were home.  kids played outside...for hours...and hours. kids rode bikes....everywhere.  there was supervision but no helicopter parents. there was unstructured play which proved to be creative and inclusive....it seemed that all were included.  no rules other than the unspoken rules...courtesy.

grace and t.j. laughed in disbelief while i rattled off every neighbors' name while pointing to their house. the latimer's, the foscato's, the mc erlean's, the o'gorman's the potter's, the northacker's, the schmullins, the brooks', the mc dermott's, the pugh's, the erickson's, the saunders', the fenn's, the breenans and more.  the unanimous favorite was the treecarten's! knowing that their 2 uncles threw the treecarten girl's ice skates into polliwog pond! we all knew each other and played together. that didn't make it disneyland....though our kids' were convinced the perfectly manicured lawns and perfectly painted homes were right out of a disney movie!

as we drove to polliwog and stopped to see mrs. breenan...our old family friend who had 10 children running through our little world on any given day....the kids were amazed and flabbergasted that i could recall all of the neighbors, the names of their children,dogs and cats....and the song mr. mc dermott wrote for me....and the names of the mc erlean grandchildren who came to visit their grandma and came to "call" for me!  i still remember playing tag on their front lawn and catching lightning bugs after dark!

grace and t.j. were astounded by the connection and the freedom we shared. they tried to recall the names of our neighbors on the street and some surrounding neighbors.....they became hysterical!  they don't even see some of the people who live on our little street....and some have moved on so the names have  changed!  we've only lived here for 10 years!  some of my neighbors i grew up with have been there my whole life....and many still live there....if they're still alive.

there have been studies to show that people who have more of a connection in the world have longer, happier and healthier lives.  if that isn't motivation for people to make little connections in our little worlds, as they fit in the giant world we're a part of......i don't know what is!

i've learned in the last week that even kids who look a little rough around the edges might begin to change if just one or two adults acknowledge them by a smile and a hello.  babies learn that the world is a wonderful place when they are smiled at by people who walk by
their strollers and wave....just by being acknowledged!

i've been thinking about this...and have plans to get more involved...many towns have had studies done to help understand how to help the youth of the community...they've come up with a program to grow the assets of the community....to help all members of the community to connect...to enrich all of our lives.

surveys and studies and committees will help us all to grow together....and to think, all we had to do was smile at one another and say hello!

oh well...it's finally time to move it on out.  I'm relieved that these guys are finally here to fill the giant dumpster.  it's amazing to watch them walk by with big slabs of the walls that we just finished painting. We are o.k with letting go.  After all, we have been trying to lighten our load for quite some time now.  Seeing it go is not so bd and the idea that it has been damaged by septic combined with flood is too gross for me to even contemplate saving.

we did arrive home last night, after our concert......to see some of the colored bins that t.j's collection of legos for a lifetime....... had been pitched in the dumpster, when we specifically asked them to save them .....they had not been touched...they were in bins and just fine...only one bin was touched on the outside by flood combo..... and i saved the contents by pouring them into a clean bin!  

Exhausted, i tried to retrieve some of the bins that had not spilled into the depths of the overflowing dumpster.

t.j., exhausted and horrified, walked up to see me retrieving bits and bins....he just stood staring.....at almost 14 years old....he said in a monotone voice," oh, that's just great...it's like my whole childhood is gone.  it's like my whole childhood is dead. thanks. why did you let them do that?"

quietly, with  lump in my throat. i muttered,"i specifically told them NOT to throw out the legos.  they were fine.  they were important to keep.  they were untouched."....i wanted to cry.  for t.j.'s comment and for me.  They didn't listen

Biff saw the remains as he got out of the car and blurted out, "I TOLD THEM TO SAVE THE LEGOS>>>I TOLD THEM TOO!"  i couldn't decide who was more upset...t.j.,biff or me.

Grace was appalled when she saw me attempting to get at the bins facing up and reachable...."they better buy us new ones!  that's our life in those bins!"

They haven't arrived yet today.  I'm waiting.  Biff is going to speak to them...they were good guys...they made a mistake...an honest mistake.  But it was our stuff...i had let them stay while we went to the concert....so they could work late...to accomplish more hard cleaning today.

I was sick over it. we all were. we just went upstairs to bed. we all needed sleep. 

Today, it's no better.  i know it's just stuff.  this particular stuff...that could have been saved....was precious to us....we had all spent hours....as a family...boy and his dad....boy, girl and their dad, all of us...with friends....creating worlds...worlds that are gone. when we took all of the lego projects apart, we all talked about the memories and why we put what together....t.j. and grace even alone on the cusp of teenage drama, had found a place to be together...talking...laughing...equals....and i feel lost. it felt like our family...our lives together...sharing...daydreaming...talking...building...showing off our creations....was gone....just gone.

now i'm in mourning.  i'm exhausted from a week and a half of this.  it's not katrina...it's just  basement full of stuff...in the dumpster....it's our memories...

we all planned to save them...we still had that in us...we still can create...we always had them available...for just those kind of moments.

they're gone.  the memories matter....but i'm so sad that they're gone....it's a metaphor for our lives that we have shared....it's a new beginning.  we'll have more legos...just not the same

 

What a beautiful day!  I'm exhausted from that awesome concert.  So much energy has been expended in the last week over flood in basement.  It's not even a big deal!  Our lives are in tact, we're healthy, we have a home....yet, we are exhausted, worn out, run down and ready to fall down. Vacation begins tomorrow afternoon.  I don't know how we'll do it, but we will make it fun. 

Last night, on the way to see Ben Folds, I said to Biff, "After the concert,    I could keep driving south...through the night and we could be at the beach on Florida tomorrow.  I really mean it.  I m desperate for some rest!

Concussion, slowdown, flooding whammo to our home, slowdown in our home and life as we know it!  Finally, it's being cleared out and cleaned.

Calgon, take me away!  Don't women feel like this everyday!  Isn't that a part of life?  No...I won't believe it.  I'm too worn out.  No breaths in betweeen.  I have to go back to sleep this morning...exhaustion is not good.  I have to take care of my body.  We all do.  Women especially!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....zzzzzz......I'll be back in a bit.....ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz!   thanks for understanding! And this is with coffee...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on TED.com

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on TED.com

This is a link to Ben Folds. We're going to his concert  tonight.  This was the first concert that Grace and T.J. attended.  We loved it and their were lots of families there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=379V1IhrB2I&feature=related

Real Concert, I should say. We did take them to see Vanessa Carlton.  She was a great young singer who played incredible piano.  I thought she was great for the kids. She had studied classical ballet, grew up in New York City, learned piano from a very young age.  Her plan was to be  ballerina, but somewhere along the way she realized that she loved piano and loved to sing....that's how she began!  We all enjoyed that her dad had been pretty cool and taught her to play songs like "painted black" on the piano when she was younger.  She had her own take on those old songs.  The only bad part....for our middle school children(6th and 7th grade), she cursed a bit!                .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwkej79U3ek

TONITE!  So happy to see Ben Folds. It's a great night planned with the kids...and for the kids. We realized last yer how great it was to do something that we all loved.  One thing for sure...we all have a passion for music!  Biff and I have always shared our love of music...and grew to appreciate each others' and learn to appreciate and have an open mind to all different music.

It's April and I am reminded today of the fun we had on Earth Day while we lived in Boston.  A great city for diverse college students, they always planned great concerts in the famous Boston Pops Orchestra on the Esplanade.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E51cmyZmwdA
We saw some unbeatable bands of all kinds.  Our babies danced to some of the new and most on the cusp.  For Biff and I, it was exciting just to get out and her more than Raffi.
http://sz0071.wc.mail.comcast.net/zimbra/mail#4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E51cmyZmwdA

It does seem like we have chosen music awareness and to give our kids exposure has really been  priority. It's one of those things that has been important in our lives...and it has just come to be for our children.  Nature vs. nurture? We have always tried to open them up to different worlds.  Music is big.

Although, we have opened the door to many music venues, our kids have not chosen to push the door open! My grandma was a wonderful pianist. Just like my grandmother's high hopes for my mom, my mom had high hopes for me...just as my mom had high hopes for me, I had high hopes for Grace and possibly T.J.

After my grandma, the gene pool must have cannon balled.  Mom had no desire due to a terrifying teacher.  Although my teacher wasn't terrifying, he did smell like garlic!  I lived in a terrified state....every Friday night on the way to my lesson!  Terrified because I hadn't practiced enough.

Then, my mom gave us my piano!  It was time for Grace to take lessons.  She was thrilled!  She had the gene.  Grace was great and had a great understanding.  The teacher was a bit odd ...and understatement.  Grace did very well and had a recital and some play at the nursing home for Christmas. Biff and I were so proud.  We should have listened to our own little girl better...the teacher was a bad fit. We found out too late!

We attempted to have her taught by a friend who really knew how to teach!  It never really worked...Grace had lost her enthusiasm.  I still dream that she may find it on her own one day....if it's something that she cares about!

T.J. took the trumpet....even though I mixed it up and brought home a trombone for him!  oops.  He took trumpet for 2 years and loved it....until he didn't!  When his teacher had a bit of  temper tantrum in the class...T.J. looked at his trumpet time as  risk to his life!  And that was that.  Career over.

Our kids just love it and appreciate music. Is that enough?  I guess they'll let us know....All we can do is share the joy of music.

 From a Christmas concert at the chapel at B.U. to South Shore Conservatory of Music
http://www.sscmusic.org/preschool_hingham.html
....mommy and me
music classes....pre-school at the Conservatory to St. Patrick's Cathedral....marching bands...parades....school talent shows and concerts ....weddings....bagpipes at funerals.....playing instruments like the violin and the trumpet and the piano and the recorder....they'll find their own way! Even if it's only to relax or tap their toes!

By the way, I left music on for Daisy and Fitzy when we left tonight for the concert...."Through  A Dog's Ear"...http://www.throughadogsear.com/....
I bought this book with  c.d. for the dogs.  There have been studies to show that certain rythyms and tones do  allow the dogs to calm... calm...and relax.

The kids thought it was crazy to have music for the dogs.  To me, it seems natural...why not give it a try.  After all, Fitzy has some sort of separation anxiety...this music has offered her quiet and peace and calm.  DO they have a c.d. like that for us?

I do know that it's a wonderful thing to share music.

WE ALL HAD A GREAT TIME TONIGHT!

Smell.  Different than the septic that I've been writing about.......it's and amazing thing...these noses we wear!  The sense of smell is one of the greatest triggers of  memory.  Don't worry...I'm not going THERE!

Last night, a text arrived in my "in box" on my cell phone. It read,"So random, but I was doing laundry and when I took out my sheets/towels out of the dryer the smell reminded me of when you lived in Massachusetts. Weird, right?" Wow!  That was 10-14 years ago...she was just a little girl visiting us.  It's the little things. We never know what we give to someone!

One of the things that is indescribable....how can we know what memories we're "giving"??  Sometimes, with our children, I feel that's all we can give them.  All of these days and months and years....in a minute, they're just a memory!  We can only hope we're "giving" special memories.  Sweet memories.

Moments.  That's what we get!  It is the moments that count. Everyday, I try to make my best....my day and how I handle my day affects all of us.  Some days are more reactive than I'd like. Some days, I have to demand more of others in our home than I'd like.  Some days are Kodak moments! Some days are less than lovely.  All I can do is be accountable for my own behavior.....and give the best that I have to give.  That's that.  Some days are better than others.  Gratefully, Biff and I are pretty steady.....in our style.  Pretty steady in our day....ups, downs and in betweens....we do our best to keep even keel....

That's just one of those things.  It happens.  Every once in awhile....it's so real.  Out of the blue. *Poof*...we're in another time and space. Instant memory!

Text from the same niece while she was in college,"Christopher Morley Sky". At Christopher Morley Park, ice skating at the end of the season, I would always point out the colors in the sky....that came to be known by biff, Claire and I as the "Christopher Morley Sky."

I received the text on a Sunday night...on the way home from the grocery store.  I read the text and looked up at the sky.It was breathtaking!  Claire, in college at the time, was sitting at her desk studying.....she looked up and that's the memory. It's the little things.  It always is.

One of the most special moments I had with Grace recently.....
I was cleaning Grace and T.J's birthday one afternoon and as I scrubbed and scoured, I thought of my mom's pretty bathrooms.  No matter where she lived, no matter the size or shape of the bathroom, my mom had little pretty soaps, matching hand towels, hand creams and glamorous body powders.  She enjoyed the lovely bits of life.  A fluffy soft towel.  A beautiful bath mat. A voluptuous and soft bathroom rug. A mirror, Clinique make up, Revlon lipstick called, "Love That Pink", Noxema, Jergens Lotion, Chloe' body Powder, Chanel No. 5, little leather case filled with nail scissors and nail file, a Kleenex box that coordinated nicely.....and a plant or two.  The little things!  Tucked away or on display. The little things.

I called out while I scrubbed, "Grace....remember Gramma's pretty bathrooms??" with a sweet question mark in my voice?  While I had been cleaning, remembering the pleasure she took in the little things....and Grace called back, "YES! I LOVED GRAMMA"S TOILET PAPER!"  I laughed until I cried...those sweet tears while remembering my mom.

I laughed and called to Grace, "Gramma would be so happy to know that you loved her toilet paper!"  It was true. Pleasure in the little things.  My mom listened to her dad.  Always the best. Life had it's ups and downs, but  Gramma always had the nicest toilet paper!  It's the little things!

We never know the memories we're making.  It's the little things!  Even though our kids are young teens now, I still buy bubbles and chalk in the spring time.   After picking the kids up with a friend the other day, Grace and her friend opened the jar of bubbles and began blowing through the bubble wand."You always have the fun toys and stuff!"...and the bubbles blew out the car window as we drove home.  It's the little things.  It's all  memory.

The little things.The moments.That's what I remember.

"Pay It Forward" sounds good to me.  Not doing good deeds and passing it on....paying it forward.....like the movie.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwHcS-XoYbc  Getting all caught up and head of myself....then giving up....just for a day!  That would allow one day to take a moment...the next day, i wouldn't have to fall behind and catch up!

Did anyone understand that?  Patti, a friend since college, had an expression, "I'm so far behind, I think I'm first!" It's a great line for me because I'm so visual.

When Patti was studying for finals and writing a paper, we found her tucked away in her room, behind closed doors....very quiet.  When we entered the sanctuary, where usually we found magazines and Mary Tyler Moore on T.V....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwC361O13gk
.....we found Patti....ever diligent....working at her desk that was usually strewn with monogrammed sweaters co-mingled with fair isle sweaters and Irish cables!

We, her loving and loyal friends, burst out laughing!  Bent over and howling like hyenas, we distracted her from her work and she seemed preoccupied while holding her.......crayon! A crayon!  Not our Patti?

What on earth could that have to do with her intense psychology paper?  That's when we realized that our frenzied friend had been writing her giant loopy letters on construction paper with crayons.  Crayons and construction paper?  Patti was no Education major.  Patti was no art major.  We were puzzled....

That's when she told us to look up above.  Not to heaven but to the wall above her desk!  We all stood in a row.  We were still recovering from seeing her so involved in her own world.....we looked up and saw...she certainly was motivated!

Her note to self, "You jerk! Get working!".....and that's about where I am this week.  It was one week ago Monday night that our septic issue began....one week ago today that our septic combined with flooding became our problem....in our basement.
Unpleasant as it has been, I'm still grateful.  At worst, it's been unpleasant...very unpleasant....maybe inconvenient...a bit.

Lots of work for all of us.  Lots of disruption. Lots of loss.  Lots of stress. No hot water. No showers unless we enjoyed the generous offer by our neighbors.

That's that.  I'd love to quit.  I can't.  I live here.  Our house is upside down.  Our lives are upside down.  The clean up crew had us on the calendar for Monday.....not!  Then, today....not!  Tomorrow, we expect them to arrive for real.  They have delivered a dumpster....that's a start!  Now we are the proud, but temporary caretakers of 2 dumpsters!

A dumpster in the driveway is the greatest and most coveted addition to any driveway.  Some may be  awestruck by a new B.M.W., a great vintage car or  fine sports car, but here in our Connecticut world, it's the great American dumpster. "A chicken in the pot and a car in every garage"
http://www.presidentsusa.net/1928slogan.html

Winston Churchill once said, "Never, never, never give up!"
http://www.quotesdaddy.com/quote/280669/Winston+Churchill/never-never-never-never-give-up
I guess.

This is a link to the review of the new Preppy Handbook that is coming out very soon.  It all began with Lisa Birnbach.  What great fun she had writing that book and what a hoot is was for all for us when we saw ourselves in there!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/04/books/04preppy.html

We live in Connecticut, so I see it and live it everyday.  As I see it, there are many varieties of the prep life!  Many.  The prep life seems to play out in many worlds, in many styles in all of the places where I have lived....and growing up, I may have had the greatest of all!  Same for Biff.

As I see it, we lived it.  We lived it everyday and we didn't even know it.  Our parents didn't have to work at it.  They didn't have to try to achieve it by looking it up in the preppy handbook or climbing the ladder to reach someone's perception of what the life was.  They just were and that was that.

Our parents didn't select our lifestyle...they just moved along to the right place for them...where they knew to be.  To convert an overused expression, "it was what it was"...and that's that.  They may have gone to boarding schools or had the opportunity to go to boarding schools but that's not what made them who they were.  They knew what they new.

I suppose in life, there will always be "posers", a term I've just learned in the last few months.  There will always be people "who are striving", as my mom used to say.  It seems the folks who live a certain lifestyle are always clear on the "posers" and those who "are striving" or my words, they're simply trying too hard!

They're easy to spot...like members of a club know their own, the ones who work at it stick out like a sore thumb....or they're screaming to be noticed as the ultimate whatever. Prep, Old Money, even Goth, as the kids tell us.  We have them of colors, creed in every size shape and neighborhood.  Everywhere.  Usually, not blog related, they're followers. Even in the "hood" as we used to say.  Our kids laugh, they say "gangsta".  Whatever...whoever...they're all out there!

We see some who can only wear designer labels....as my mom used to say,"they're throwing up labels...." even if it was Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci and Calvin Klein!  How right that woman was....the old school New England Yankee that she was!

Why?  Everybody wants to belong.  Especially when they have no clear cut answer to belonging.  Hence, working at it...there were probably cavemen who worked at having the ultimate deerskin........whatever...maybe the cave location was their thing.  "It is was it is and it was what it was!"

So, here we are in Connecticut....surrounded by preps who just are.... don't even know it....don't work at it...don't even wear
Lilly Pulitzer.
http://www.lillypulitzer.com/page/home?gclid=CMH16si08aACFWV75QodAWaXHw
We have the old school professorial types who have been educated in the best schools and follow on to teach at the best schools....of course the best schools are prep.  They have lived and educated life. Education began with those who had...those who could afford the best and to those who desired the education to better themselves and their children.

It's not always about the money. Many have had and lost, recovered or not....it's simply what they know.  It doesn't matter to them...for climbing or social status....it's all they know even if in degrees.  It's real not found.

We just spent the weekend with family. We were down visiting and thought it would be fun to show the kids where we used to live and all of the people who they've heard me talk about...or at least where they lived....if they haven't moved.  It was a  charmed life in many ways.  That's another story.

We lived on the North Shore of Long Island, The Gold Coast.  We were blessed to live a very nice life.  We were surrounded by other families  of similar "worlds" with similar values.  It's no wonder.

Family was a priority.  Schools were a priority.  Church was a priority.  Beach was a priority. The Preppy Handbook was not a priority but we lived it....from the station wagon

to the country club to the beach house and the beach club

....the traditional clothing of quality and all natural fibers....the cocktail parties hosted by friends of the family...the train station...the colleges our brothers and sisters attended....our homes well decorated and barbeques....penny loafers, docksiders

and madras...sand in our shoes....chesterfield coats and so much more.

My dapper dad wore a handsome Derby and a straw Boater from Memorial Day to Labor Day with a replacement in the middle of summer due to newspaper print along the way. It's just the way it was.  Life was good despite the lack of books and blogs to call the shots.

Biff had much of the same. As noted yesterday, as we watched the Easter Old Fashioned Car Parade, we even had the same station wagon.  Biff lived further up in the country...with a family who lived a parallel life of goodness with trips to the Adirondacks and Historical Landmarks.....lots of family gatherings and fun. He was at boarding school while I was in private local schools.

Old School families with plain old fashioned values.  Biff's family greeted the Mayflower while mine arrived at Ellis Island or popped in  by way of Boston rather than Plymouth Rock. I guess if my family came from Ireland and chose to be "posers" or worked too hard at being dressed like the pilgrims, it might have been the same as a phony baloney prep!

We both grew up living lives of simplicity yet abundance and no one to guide us or comment in a handbook.  It was unspoken.  To speak of it would be "rude, crude and socially unacceptable", as some I know would say.

Over the weekend, the "prep" clothing was everywhere and certainly much of the same, but the people were new.  The people were not the same homogeneous ones we knew once upon a time.  New people have replaced the Old Guard just as many condos have replaced old estates....of
the Whitney's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhasset,_New_York,
the Grace's  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhasset,_New_York,
 or the Payne's.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Whitney_Payson
Much of the old has been replaced with the new and more of it.  Conspicuous consumption is what seems to be prevalent these days.....and then some of the classics remain.  They were evident by there demeanor.  There may be still be wealth and their may still be prep but much of it has been acquired only in presentation....thanks to Ralph Lipshitz (Ralph Lauren)
http://www.ralphlauren.com/frontdoor/index.jsp and Martha Kostyra (Martha Stewart)
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/index.ognc?CategoryID=45253&PageID=194364335451591
and Brooks Brothers expansion across America
http://www.brooksbrothers.com/
and Tiffany and Company's accessibility in Malls throughout the world
http://www.tiffany.com/?siteid=1&omcid=G37969&iq_id=13379080&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=01%2BBranded%2BNew%2B-%2BExact&utm_term=13379080-tiffany
or J.Crewhttp://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Feature_Assortment/jcrewcollection.js
What happened to
Best and Company Children's Clothing?
http://www.bestandcompany.com/
...really what happened to the way children used to dress?  that's another topic.....life goes on...change is good for us all.....
 What happened to BonwitTeller?
http://dlxs.lib.wayne.edu/d/dhhcc/bios/bonwitteller.html

Much of the "preppy lifestyle" has been created....we see the look....we know the look... which is just fine. It's not the right dog or the right car or the right vacation spot. It can't be defined so clearly. To a discerning eye, it is very clear who are the old school "preppies." That word tickles Biff and I...we laugh when we see stores or hair salons named," A Touch of Class because they always seem to state the obvious....they have none.

Visiting "home", it still is a wonderful place....to educate...to live....to beach...to sail and more.  Most people are still very nice.  They don't know.  It's like our little secret.  It's the secret of the old school...the way life was...the families....the life...the connection of the good life as it used to be...before the Preppy Handbook.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/05/the-preppy-handbook-updat_n_525353.html

The families who have lived to see the next generation and the next generation live in the place that had an understated life of abundance...sensible with Puritan beliefs for some....quiet money was key...still is....sshhhhhhh. 

It's not about the haves and the have nots....it's not about what one wears to validate their "preppiness"...it can't be acquired. It is or it isn't. It's there or it's not.  Quiet. Shhhhhhhh. It's not what you have....it's not necessarily where you have it.  It just is.

So, there we stood, in a wonderful place to have a childhood, a family, a community, a place of many friends....our kids said it was like a Disney movie town.  It was better. It was. And I saw the old faces...and I visited the old friends who we knew all of our lives.....they welcomed us "home"....and into their "preppy" houses, with "preppy" drapes and shoes and cars and kitchens and photos and families...and we didn't care what polo player or Golden Fleece adorned their polo shirt,

button down or sweater.  We were just delighted to be welcomed by someone who knew....someone who knew us....and our families...and our lives....they have always loved us...then and now. It was nice to be welcomed and not judged....and the cashmere hug was wonderful and familiar.

Would you like to check out my e-bay?  Here's the link....I have so much more merchandise to list....it's all great stuff.  I've been busy with lots of "mixups" lately....SURPRISE!

http://stores.ebay.com/littlemarymixup?_rdc=1

I missed you...hope everyone had a great weekend.  I'm too tired to upload my photos....stay tuned!  See ya soon.

I shall try to type this with the proper capital letters and some fine punctuation....oops...unless i feel like I need to use my dot dot dots as my breath when I'm talking!  This remedial  typing that needs work....typing with all of the proper capitals seem to make me really slow down and not tell my stories as I have to think so hard for my fingers hitting the right keys...at the right time...my rythym feels off!  got that?  got that my good old friend?......the friend who became my friend because she made me laugh, in the most horrible math class, with the most horrible teacher, who droned on and on....as if freshman algebra wasn't boring enough!!

She made me laugh so hard, that  I spent many   afternoons after school....with the horrible teacher....who we called "lurch"....only because he was just as creepy.  I had extracurricular boredom with lurch.

As I curse at they keyboard, I will think of my friend...perhaps even cursing her for suggesting capital letters...that take up more energy than my piano lessons.  oh! But of course, she played piano well too. And a great writer....who just wants capitals.

I'll give it a try....like that would really make people read this blathering blog! blah..blah..blah...blah..blahG!

Back to the blog, since I've given my greatest critic such a huge ego that I will have to hear all about it forever...even if I get one new follower....ONE! She will tell me, for the rest of our lives, that each new follower has stayed to read my blog because of HER capitals.  O.k., she is a LEO and I am a LEO....we do understand our lioness features....she knew she could get me....just by telling me proper capitalization would take my blog to the big time!  And how could we not be friends?  Our Leo egos... we have a mutual admiration society!  Leos know Leos....notice the capitals.



This is a friend who has been there through thick and thin, ups and downs, a very unpleasant math class and an even worse home ec class....as in becky home ecky.......and through it all, we've both been very grateful for the continuing goodness in our lives....and the hysterical laughter that we provide for each other....through good times and bad!  This is the friend  who everyone dreams of when they imagine a really great friend.

And how could it be possible for Leos to be friends?
Don't have the explanation. As a matter of fact, I'm surrounded by some great Leo friends...and a sister in law, another great Leo.  You would think that the Leo personalities would require others WITHOUT the Leo ego and leonine ways.......but, NO! We all feed off of each other and there are enough of us to keep us all seen and heard.....and praised!  And loving our highlights....only a Leo would have so much conversation about hair color, hair style, hair cut, shampoo, blow dryers.....and our claws, our nails....and our paws.  It's just what we do.  Not even obnoxious....to us.  It is not anything I can explain....it's a Leo thing.  If you know any, just listen....you'll start to notice your friend calling you in tears about a canceled hair color, cut appointment or a hairdresser's retirement.  They will care, like crazy, about their Lion's den at home....the color and comfort of course....and the quality! It's just crazy....to others....NOT to us!  I wish you all luck if you have Leo children.

By the way, I missed you yesterday.  We finally got out of this house with the septic troubles and the Connecticut flooding last week.  It was Easter...a weekend to visit family.  A great time to get out of town!  Literally, we left our "stinkin" home and headed to visit family....and stay at a hotel.

It was a rough week for many reasons.  Of course, the septic goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway.  I'm needy, can you tell?  It just stinks...for real.  The flooding combined with the septic could have put any family over the edge.  Have no fear, we are used to "mixups" of many varieties. Really, this was a walk through the park.  Biff was home and not out of town.  That might have put me over the edge.  Doing it together always keeps us on our toes...tippy toes in this case....tippy toes with big rubber boots.

We had a bit of an issue. It was a tad unpleasant last week.  More than a tad.  The last week was based on the book, "If you give a mouse a cookie",
http://www.amazon.com/You-Give-Mouse-Cookie-Give/dp/0060245867

the story we read over and over and over....is now read to us on you tube!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFKzriYtEt8

You see, we had the septic trouble Monday night. When we found the problem, we had to turn off the water.  No water to be used until the septic people arrive, Tuesday. No water for our showers. We adapt. One shower missed is just an inconvenience.

It was Monday night that we had to skip showers.  The rain began Monday afternoon. Tuesday morning we had no shower since the water was still off. That was inconvenient, but not a big deal. 

Tuesday morning the septic people were coming.  There was an appointment I had to get to. Life.  It would be fine.  All that I needed to do was leave the basement open for the guys.  That's when the flooding was noted.  That's when the boots went on. That's when I walked through about 5" of mook.  That's when I cried as I swished through the rising mook, cried and held my nose. There was no chance I could leave this house, the arc.

Septic guys arrived.  The work was done. The Haz-vak suits arrived to clean up.  Haz-vak guys could not open the door since the water was too deep.  The Haz-vac suits would leave and be back after the rain stopped. Whenever that might be.

That's when the water kept rising....4"...5"......6".....7"..................that's when Biff arrived home....after many updates en route.  That's when he proudly displayed the last sump pump on the Connecticut shoreline.  To "tide" us over until the Haz-vac guys come back. 

Biff starts our first sump pump of our homeowner life.  I may haul furniture..indoor/ outdoor.....paint furniture...indoor/outdoor.....paint the house....clean the house...design our landscaping.....work on the landscaping....pushing, rolling and lifting rocks.....much more than some women would even consider.  I had to draw the line at sump pump pride It just would not be. It did nothing for me.  The gag factor was too great!  This was the big league.  This was a Biff job....apology accepted, thankfully.

Tuesday night would have been the night for our showers....UNTIL the waters kept rising.....our oil burner motor burned out in the flooding.  The Has-Vat guys wouldn't be here.....til the sunshine....no shower Wednesday morning....no shower Wednesday night.....no shower Thursday morning....no shower Thursday night....no shower Friday morning....lots of gardening, lots of dirt, lots of rocks and rolling....my landscape world...with
Biff.


We were out of the house!  We considered this our date.  We were too exhausted to even go to a movie as a date.  Spring cleaning outdoors was just the thing.  Life. New Life. Easter weekend!


That's when our neighbors drove by.  That's when we discussed the week of rain and more rain and flooding and more flooding.  That's when we spoke of my sump pump hero. That's when I confessed my filth....although they noticed me gardening in my Lilly Pulitzer skirt....covered in dirt.  Oops.  That's when they offered their home for a shower!


AWKWARD. Very. .........................after so many days trying to lay low...with most of MY laundry caught in the flood, I was living in yoga pants!  Charming.  Truly.

Friends had offered their showers.  I kept hanging on to the hope it would all be resolved.  Saturday we would be leaving to see family...we were never so happy to stay in a hotel....just for the shower!  It was Friday. Biff had a few cold showers...he couldn't wear yoga pants to work!

Right then and there I caved....I would be over...for my first shower since the wacky week began. Our neighbor was the pastor of one of our local churches.  Awkward!

I got over it and guess what?  It was their guest bathroom....it was like a spa.  There children are older and have moved out on their own.  Bottles of shampoo, body gels, facial cleansers, bubble bath and 253 other bottles, empty and full ....no towels on the floor....were not on the scene.  I had found heaven....right across the street.

Clean!  I asked if I could shower at their spa every night....quiet....alone....peaceful....ZEN shower.

Saturday we left to see family.  It had been 2 years since I had been back home, to the town where I grew up.  Not since my mom's funeral.  Without going to that world....2 years. IT WAS WONDERFUL! 

The fun and family and hotel with the shower!  We got to the hotel just before midnight. We checked in, went to the room, settled in with a few trips to the bathroom.......and that's when the flooding began!  Fast and furious, the water began overflowing....and overflowing....it wouldn't stop.....we closed the door!  We called the desk!  We moved to a new room and started over.

BEEEEP>>>BEEEEEP>>>>BEEEP>>>BACK IT UP ......RIGHT HERE>>>>BACK UP>>>MORE>>>MORE>>>MORE>>>>STOP RIGHT HERE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
DUMP IT HERE!!!!!!!

After church, on Easter Sunday....outside the church...with the family we had seen the night before.....we told our tale!  We all howled with laughter....it's following us!

Tomorrow the Haz-vac guys arrive!  Who knows what will happen next.  We know if there's somehow. Hopefully, we'll get a shower......before Memorial Day!