i woke up with a start today!  yikes!  it was after alarm time.  alarm?  what alarm?  i didn't hear an alarm, did i?  i know i set my alarm.  it was very late when i finally got to bed.  very, very late actually.

i was at another village meeting to hear more people talk about the horrors of the internet, cell phones, cyber bullying and internet predators.  while listening to the speakers, i whispered to a nearby friend, "great. i'm at a cyber world safety meeting and the kids are home alone. i'm pretty sure that they're both on the internet! grace working on a paper, probably on facebook.  t.j. has a class trip tomorrow so he's probably on x-box....the predators are probably knocking on the door or sexting them while i sit taking notes!"  

biff has been in the city for a few days.  great night for me to be out at a meeting....with parents. and community leaders...feeling out of control with the whole world bursting into our homes.  i sat at the meeting...thinking about all of the years we worked so diligently to keep our kids on P.B.S. and without warning...*POOF* the world came into ours.

not quite the same as going out to a yoga class...or a poetry reading.  this was fear 101!  arriving home late to see grace finishing her paper while t.j. had taken himself to bed....for a good night sleep before his class outing in the morning.  we've come a long way from P.B.S., dinner, bath, book, bed  days. 

i was exhausted....my brain was stretched to the max.  i trust our kids....i don't trust the world.  the world has always had scary out there.  it's just a new scary.  all we can do is be educated and keep our kids educated and aware.

so, back to the alarm.  bedtime was over the top late.  what was i doing to relax?  following up on e-mails, catching up on some letter writing.  ironically, letters of congratulation and condolence...to the same family.  another light and breezy thing to do at night while my husband is away and my kids have an early wake up!

biff and i have the ultimate codependent relationship...when it comes to morning alarms.  there was never a problem waking for our children in the early days.  we were smart enough...or exhausted enough to get the sleep we required. 



it became more of a challenge once our kids stayed up later.  just a little quiet after they went up to bed...just a little....i craved that quiet....for an art project or to read a book.... uninterrupted.  a luxury.

until it continued into the wee hours.  just one more minute....turned into way too late.  that was at the point where the alarm mattered.  no longer were the pitter patter of little feet our alarms. 

so, for quite a few years now, biff has called me with a"wake up call from the front desk." as a back up to my alarm.....internal alarm and timex ironman alarm and cell phone alarm!

this morning, it was my internal alarm.  even after less than optimum sleep....i popped up, looked over at my cell phone with 247,000 applications available, 4 morning alarms set with the special ring and the vibration.

looking at the time on my cell phone...i had a moment of panic.  ten of seven!  yikes.  that's usually time for the bus.

i looked at my alarms...why?  why had they failed me?  uh. oh.  oh. no.  i turned off the volume while i was at the meeting.  biff called during the meeting...i texted him to tell him why i had just hung up on him and proceeded to turn down the volume.

alarm.  not. not at all. ahhhh.  there had been texts....from biff.  the only one i saw was.....in all caps.....which grace tells me is shouting in TEXT, that is.  his message, "THINK I'M GOING INSANE!"....follwed by the next text..."NOW WE R FULLY ENMESHED WITH OUR NEIGHBORS.....MOLLY IS COMING OVER TO RING THE DOORBELL.  T.J. CAN'T MISS TRIP!" 

that's the point that i called him.  his voice was weary.  he was confused.  no. not the usual wake up confusion when he's out of town, the "where am i" confusion.  it was the why isn't my sweet loving wife answering the phone/where the hey is my family confusion/how could i possibly lose them all when they all have cell phones, i touches and a few computers in that house confusion....i'm used to that. that comes up during business trips.

thankfully, i didn't have to panic the kids.  i would remain calm....that's what mothers are supposed to do.  right?  grace under pressure and all of that stuff!  i hated those that panic voice of my mom's when i was young.  wait!  who am i kidding.  i hate that NOW!  i called them.  i went to each room. i let them ease into the panic....thankfully, we never got to that point.  i told them i would be driving them.

all summer long

just a few more days.  i've heard it from the teachers....i've heard it from the kids...i've heard it from the moms.  just a few more days.

it's funny.  we just spent some time with a friend who's a teacher at his alma mater....a boarding school in connecticut. a mid life career change.....following the call of an old dream......he loves it. he really loves it.  the year is over. he's done. the end.....til september!  he is one happy guy.

we had dinner down at the beach last night.  we talked.  the kids, 2 boys and 2 girls, and the parents laughed.  we talked about summers we shared on the vineyard and the cape.  the kids and the grown ups had plain old fashioned fun.  simply. at a picnic table. overlooking the water.

simply.  living simply.  that's summer for us. summer flies by.  our friend michael, the boarding school teacher, asked us, "what are three

reasons that people become teachers?"  the answer....june, july and august!

i feel that way too.  it's a much needed break. the week is like a great run on sentence....with no english teacher marking it red with comments and suggestions.

 

is it because i'm an august baby?  maybe. maybe i'm just following in my mother's footsteps.....in the sand.  my mother loved summer.  she was one of the few moms sad to see her kids hop on the bus in september!  same here. 

it's a gift.  summer.  summer people. summer places. summer things. beach. sail. swim.  bike. read. parades. boats. islands. day dreams. explore. friends. family. fireworks. ocean.  fruit. corn on the cob. tomatoes. sunshine.  lotion. sleep. umbrellas.hammock. canvas. salads. swimsuits. shorts. flip flops. time. lightning bugs. sea shells. ice cream. sea glass.  fish. outdoor showers.  soft towels.  coolers.  sandy sandwiches.  sun burn.  bare foot.  base ball. card games.  barbeques. salt water fish tank.  beach grass.

wet dogs. shady spots. summer friends.  penny candy store.  outdoor concerts.  boogie boards.  cannon balls.  starry nights.  late nights.  laughter.  quiet time. laughter. singing. board games. road trips.  maps.  baseball hats. 

simple goodness. very simple. we need that.  ahhhhh. summer. plain old fashioned summer.  that's all that we can wish for our kids.  simple summertime goodness.......and  making memories.  sweet memories. simple, sweet memories.

t.j. was 2 years old.  grace was 3.  we were on the cape with our friends.  we had a glorious day at the beach.

we had a fun dinner with friends.  we put grace and t.j. to bed...in an extra bedroom....in the wee cape cod house on the beach.....lots of sunburned kids...we talked and told stories for hours...we were all having fun together with friends....our friends suggested staying the night....the babies were already asleep....we talked about it...it made sense.

 

t.j., grace, biff and i....all cozy in one room....sleeping in the cape cod house....by the beach....

 

we woke up the next morning to t.j.'s sweet voice, " ohhhhh! weeee're at da beeeeech!"  what a way to start the day!   biff and i still remember that little voice and the joy.....when he saw the sun peeking through the window.....and he realized we were still there......"at da beeeeech!"

that's how i feel.........when i wake up....all summer long.

a whirlwind of a weekend.  i am so tired.  i need sleep.  i've been working on e-bay.....lots to keep me  busy. i have so much to list and no time to do it.  i just dropped an "s.d. card" with all of the pictures from my camera.  i had it in my hand and then it was missing.

i spent hours taking the photos. i have been praying to saint anthony.  does everybody know saint anthony?  he has usually been the guy to help me out when something goes missing.  from car keys to diamonds....

what? you say!  yes, diamonds...but not from biff!  the "booby prize" diamonds from the guy biff will love forever!  biff loves the guy who gave me my "booby prize"....that  was the term my mom gave those diamonds from ol' watzizname.  patti and david were there the night ol' watzizname gave them to me....no romantic moment there!  just gave them.  splat. on the table. for me?  yes. for you. oh. thank you. they're beautiful. oh they are the finest. oh. how come you are late again?  did i mention that i never really cared that much about diamonds?  not so much.

somehow those diamonds won't leave me.  i have lost them in the pool. my niece claire found them in the 5 feet.  my mom was robbed. i was living at home at the time.  guess what?  all of my mom's and grandma's tiffany jewelry was stolen...just the gold stuff.....not my diamond earrings! 

there were people who thought it was great that i got so much "stuff."  after dating someone who cared so much about giving the stuff so that he could show off that he bought me the stuff!  somehow, the stuff didn't matter.  in the end, he taught me a great lesson, all of the stuff in the world didn't matter.  it was the love that mattered.  and *POOF* he was gone!  that was my best break up ever! 

biff loves ol' watzizmame.  precisely because he gave me the diamonds!   since watzizname gave me th diamond earrings and necklace, biff would never have to get me any.  he liked the way the diamonds looked. biff still loves watzizmname,because after him, my mom thought that biff was the saint! 

oh1 speaking of saints, i need everyone to send out a little prayer/wish/whisper/gesture/thought to ask him to please help me find the s.d. card that has hours of my work on it.....i need sleep.  i hope st. anthony helps me out while i sleep.  otherwise, i have to do it over again...my store needs to have new merchandise listed!  please st. anthony....i never even had to ask for the watzizname diamonds.  they just keep reappearing.  I just want to get some of the great merchandise out on e-bay......

coach, vera bradley, j.crew, ralph lauren, lilly and more.....i have to get started!  first, i need sleep.  g'nite.

one more time....please saint anthony....help me find my s.d. card!  i've believed in you since i was four....and you helped me find my little bunny rabbit pocketbook!  i'm still grateful!

twice today....i wrote stories on my blog and *POOF* it was gone!  i shouted, "BIFF!"  i was shocked. it was gone. just like that.  i had posted pictures.  quite a few.  *POOF* it was off into cyberspace. no fun. 

i tried again later.  my story took a different direction.  i had some little tidbits that occurred over the last week....and just like that....*POOF* again!

could this be a cruel joke?  doubt it.  could it discourage me....maybe, but probably not.  i'm pretty used to having the *POOFS* occur in life.  it's the *POOFS* of life that can make or break us.  some are littl blips on the screen of life.  believe me, in the grand scheme of things, a losing a littlemarymixup story won't send anyone over the edge....even if it was the greatest story ever told, i'd be hard pressed to get upset.

wait!  i don't mean to say that i don't jump up and shout,"YIKES!"....pretty frustrating for me to feel like the computer just swallowed everything and won't spit it out....ever!  but, it's a blog. it's not stopping the b.p. oil spill! 

hopefully, those guys are taking that a little more intensely than i felt while my blogomamma went out the window.

that's when i think.....that was meant to be.  i believe in, "what's meant to be is meant to be"....after doing my best.  sometimes, there are no coincidences. 

what a beautiful walk biff and i had with the dogs yesterday evening! it was truly awesome.  the balmy breeze down on the beach was lovely, the peaceful sounds of sea gulls above and sand pipers along the shoreline  and the colors of the beach grasses and the sky were spectacular!  

our walk was wonderful.  the dogs are happy at anytime to get a walk at the beach and so am i.  biff and i enjoy where we live.  we really do.  

after most of the summer on the cape with friends, we come home and we live in a place that people visit for vacation!  a blessing for all of us....we know that and we appreciate that!

in the woods with the dogs, in town with the dogs or on the beach with the dogs....life is good!  we have always loved to get out and explore.  the dogs help us to explore more places....sometimes more than we bargain for....in people's backyards, garages and cars!  

the beach i have in the photos above is one of our favorites...with the dogs.  they are free to run.  there are no houses.  it's a little peninsula.  with fitz that means unless she swims away from us, she won't leave us.  sadly or happily, she is a golden who hasn't mastered her swimming classes yet!

we walked and talked and laughed at the dogs...and as always, we laughed at ourselves.  it's always such fun for us to have the little moments together. although, we would love to get more moments....maybe longer moments... as in moments with just the 2 of us at a wonderful location!  

have i let my mind wander?  oh! we are just happy to get any time alone together!  we still have fun.....we still love each other....and better yet, we still love each other!  best of all, we still make each other laugh.

ahhhhh romance!  gotta love those moments.  they do matter.  it's like recharging a phone for a good connection...we need a charge too.

in no time, we were back. .... to reality. we saw lightning and heard some thunder.  we took our sweet, smelly, set dogs to the car and let them jump in...thankfully we had the newly cleaned mats in.  we called the kids to say we'd be home.  we decided to make a quick stop at stop and shop.

ahhh romance! that's when we know that we're living on the edge!  woohoo!  livin' and lovin' in aisle 7, peanut butter!  we thought we would get a movie and ended up with the week's groceries.  i have to admit, we had a lot of fun!  we had done so much during the day, we were sure we wanted to stay in with a movie...but stop and shop!  that was a bonus date!

and what did we get...it is summer...it's barbeque season...even though we love barbeque all day long.....this is the fun part!

and who could resist?

sunday morning. quiet. sitting with my coffee. daisy and fitzy sleeping by my side. sounds of summer.  happy the kitten, sleeping on the chair. jinx, the black kitty pads by.   an occasional car driving by, the leaves on the trees as a slight wind blows them.  then, the breeze through the house, with the windows open. a cacaphony of sweet chirping and tweeting. quiet.

and then...DROID.D.D.....that's my new phone. finally, after all of the hand me downs. you remember the pink one.  there was the black one,   that landed in a cup of coffee that was carefully placed in the car's  cup holder.....ironically on the way to the beach, where my phones usually meet their demise.  oh! let's not forget about the hand me down phone that was from t.j.! that was aptly named "the magic phone"....because it had survived 3 months outside under the leaves, rain, cold, even lawn mowing the day we found it.  

we brought that phone in, tried c.p.r., but settled with inserting the phone into a bag of rice overnight, then baking it in the oven at 225 for 10 minutes and waiting with bated breath to see if it would survive.  it did.  hence, the name. 

there were others.  others with less dramatic endings.  like, water damage.  i used to have hope for the water damaged phones.  like a trip to the emergency room,we would take the phone up to the verizon store, sit and wait for our name to be called, tell our traumatic experience to the attending on duty......and hope....with everything we had.  we would plead. we would blurt out how we had cared for the phone,  we anxiously await their response.  we were desperate.  we wanted the phones to hang on until our next free upgrade...in a month...even two weeks. sadly, we would note the expression of the attending.  keep trying, we would beg.  that's when we always heard the same response.  with a cold and distant look in their eyes, they would calmly state, "water damage."  if we tried to plea our case, they would repeat again and again, "water damage."  that was all.  the end.  nothing would change.  "water damage" was the end.  final answer. do not pass go, do not collect $200., dead end, The End.

now, i have the phone with internet.  it helps me stay connected to my e-bay....allowing updates.  it will help me on the cape. i will be able to have access to all of my important information...so, i can continue my business while away!  very cool.

one thing about my free upgrade....it may offer me everything i need.  it may send me to the moon.  it may get me a cup of coffee.  but, it's tough.  biff made sure that i got the bullet proof casing. oh sure, they had the hot pink cover....the one i wanted.  but, no. the family didn't think i could handle that.  they insisted.  i had to have the big and clunky, bullet proof, secret service model.  uggghhhh.   not as cute.  it certainly doesn't have the look of my barbie set.  the phone, the little laptop or my cute camera.

and, in a moment of peaceful bliss, it drones on, "DROID"....like i'm on the moon and the robot is calling.  i love the droid.  i love what it does for me.  it is amazing how the world keeps advancing in technology.

we can send a man to the moon...but, why can't my droid just leave me alone....when i'm having my quiet time?

Dave Matthews Band - Funny the Way It Is

Dave Matthews Band - You & Me

Dave

dave matthews was in connecticut last weekend!  i know this because i live with grace.  she loves dave matthews.  we have "dave" in our house, on our computers, in our car and on random i-pods we travel with.  grace has given us dave.

in the beginning, i was vaguely aware of dave.  

claire, our niece, is the one responsible for bringing dave into our lives.  claire>grace> us. he became more and more in demand...for grace.  the rest of us were hearing dave in the back round of our own lives.  

 

dave did not impress t.j.  dave was o.k. for me.  i just didn't need another man in my repertoire.  he was just there, neither here nor there.

biff had no opinion regarding dave.  he could enjoy him. he could see why people liked dave. dave was o.k.

we're the family who enjoys music. lots of different kinds of music. we love exposing our kids to music in different venues with a variety of singers and bands with myriad styles.  we're the parents who played music to our babies...before they got here. 

we have listened to dave in the distance.  we have listened to dave while grace has belted  out every word of every song in every room in our house. at first, t.j. would shout out, "grace...please stop singing...GRACE! please stop singing!" grace was shocked when he would BEG her to stop.  

he's told his friends about her unending singing.  he can hardly take a car ride with dave and grace.we've had grace go up and sing in her room. didn't work. once the weather warmed up, t.j. complained that he could still hear grace belting out dave.  it seems that while she was upstairs belting it out, her window was open.  t.j. was in the family room with the windows open. she belted and echoed it throughout the neighborhood!

t.j. couldn't get away!  personally, i love to hear grace sing.  she has a great voice.  she's always happy when she's singing. the music has been growing on me. what's not to like?

grace began to share her music with us.  she began telling us about dave...sharing dave. more and more, dave began to creep into our daily life.  biff, t.j. and i began to like dave.  we began to ask grace more about dave. 

months ago, grace got word that dave would be in connecticut.  we had to get tickets.  we HAD to go. great idea.  we would all go.  t.j. was o.k. with it...not thrilled.  as time went on, t.j. began to enjoy dave.  i began to listen a bit more to grace's songs by dave.

after we discussed the dave concert,  grace went to school.  for days, grace would come home with another friend who wanted to join us.  we were happy to take a friend.  

as time went on, our family concert  outing began to grow. we were taking grace, t.j. and 4 girls.  that would mean 2 cars.  one small event turned into a convoy!

we had heard stories.  we heard about dave concerts.  our kids were young but they knew music. 

we spoke to all of the parents.  we knew that they knew about dave concerts.  we discussed concert etiquette and our rules for this outing!

grace loves planning and coordinating!  funny, so do i!  most of this was taken care of, by grace.  biff and i talked to the parents.  t.j. didn't care about taking friends.

the cars were biff and t.j.  and me, grace, hannah, kiley, eliza and becca.  grace was rushing me.  we had to hurry.  we didn't want to be late. we had to get there. we had to go.  i ran out to the car.  biff was giving a lecture to my passengers regarding our rules.  they had heard the same from their parents.  we were happy to enforce the rules.  when biff was finished, i think they had a pretty good idea that if there was any problem at all...we would leave them there and their parents could retrieve them...or something scary enough along those lines.

i got out to the car.  with the keys.  biff and t.j. were in biff's car...ready to go.  i started up my car. 

grace looked over at me and said, "mom, your shirt's on inside out."  i said i would be right back. a mad dash into the garage allowed me to switch the shirt around...speed style.  i ran back to the car.

i again buckled my seat belt.  i put the car in reverse.  everyone was chatting. we were all excited. before i began rolling, becca called out to me, "mrs. biff, your shirt is on inside out!"  again, like superman, i ran and did a quick change. i double checked.  i was o.k.

i got back into the car and told becca that i loved her!  that's just the beginning of our concert fun!

happy memorial day and thanks to all of our veterans who have taken care of us all and risked their lives to save ours.  memorial day is one of my favorites....the parade, the veterans reflection on the green, the red, white and blue and the barbeques.

tonight, biff and i are taking 6 teens to the dave matthews concert.  grace first learned aobut dave matthews from claire, her cousin.  we all love music.  although t.j. never cared for "dave" .....he had "dave" grow on him....all of us, in this house have had many intimate moments with "dave" playing in the back round!  wait! i meant intimate, in the everyday family time kind of intimate!  dave has played throughout the house during moments of laughter, stress, tears and joy.  dave travels with us on family road trips, after school on the way to lacrosse games, he is even on grace's ringtone!  he's family.

all that we can hope is that we come home with the same number of kids that we left home with!  we have "lawn" tickets...we are hoping that we'll be in a crowd of people who aren't pot heads or lord knows what else.  either way, we all know that this will be a "teachable moment"....we've already had many conversations about the variety of people who go to "Dave" concerts...even claire has put the 

word out!  we have 4 girls sleeping over after the concert.  again, better at our house....we're always happy to have our house be the destination.  

then, memorial day will begin...in my  mind.  we have washed the sail boat...and if we're lucky, we can get it down to the beach before tomorrow.  that's a dream. the weather is beautiful but the water is still pretty chilly!

sadly, memorial day is the time that the dogs get shut out of our little beach....at least on weekends.  we are not able to "sneak" happy, wagging, loud, wet, smelly and beautiful goldens down to the beach very easily.  covert operations is not a likely career for daisy and fitzy.

it is still fitzy's dream to host a barbeque of her own down at the beach.  she loves a good barbeque.  her idea of good isn't what ours would be.  her favorite barbeque is when little kids are there and drop their hamburgers and there hot dogs roll off their plates...now that's a GREAT BARBEQUE!  

i still love the memorial parade. it was my first parade that i ever marched in. i was a brownie and there was no one prouder, wearing white cotton gloves. special memories.  i still love that parade in the town where i grew up.  

happy memorial day.  it's the beginning of summer....at least, on our connecticut shoreline! 

my mom used to say, "like with like."  today was a like with like day.  everything i had to get done around the house seemed to involve playing the like with like game.

grace is hoping for some friends to sleep over tomorrow night...the perfect motivation for cleaning her room!  a mother's dream.

yesterday afternoon, 91 degrees at our house in connecticut....it's only memorial day.  it was lovely....while i had the dogs at the beach with a friend for a puppy play date! really, it's an excuse to have a little get together and chat about life with kids and laugh about parenting.

no matter what the parenting style, no matter who the child is, no matter how much of a rocket scientist or how much of a slacker or plain ol' genius, which is the category most moms find their children .....we know each others kids for lots of years, so there is no room for pretending.  we know.  we know the real story.  we have seen it for real.  after many years, i am grateful to know a mom who genuinely loves our kids and knows how much i care about her kids and mostly all kids....they all need us...

last week, while on our way to school after the dramatic "shotgun"events, we had a girl driving a red jeep cherokee...she was tailgating me.  the road to school has a 25mile and hour speed limit.  it was upsetting to see this girl, a high school girl....a relatively new driver, speeding on her way to school!  

i asked the kids if they knew who she was.  i was amazed that  the red cherokee girl was continuing her tailgate party at 7 in the morning!

grace knew who the cute girl was.  i was upset...just thinking of a new driver being so reckless.  i know i sound like "oh, these kids today"...that's not it.  i just care.  if that was my grace or my t.j., i would want someone to tell me. it could mean a difference in a family's life...literally.

biff and i had just talked about this.  parents have to care.  care for all kids, not just their own.  if everyone cares, it may just make a difference to the next generation...corny, but true.  i've always felt that it's important to be nice to every kid...even if some make us crazy....just because it's like we are a representative of the "adult" world.  maybe we can make a difference.  who knows.

t.j. got the address while looking out the back window.  grace popped it into my phone.  just in case.  it could make a difference.

on our way to the regatta saturday morning, we saw a police speed trap on the same road as the red jeep cherokee girl.

i slowed down to say hello to the lieutenant and say thanks for watching for the speeders.  we live right near this road and it's a constant concern...speeders.  everyone is in a hurry.

as we said our hellos and spoke of speeding i asked him if it was o.k. to give him the license plate of the young jeep cherokee driver...we told him we didn't want her to get in trouble.  we just wanted her to be safe.  we truly hoped that she could get the point.  not criticism, just caution.

the lieutenant understood exactly what we meant.  he was happy to make a note and speak to red jeep cherokee and her parents.  his feeling was that it's better to tell the parents now rather than have it on our conscience if we ever heard something had happened to the red jeep cherokee girl.

that was that.  we had a family discussion about speeding and driving safety.  we can only pray that our kids will drive safely when their day comes.

we drove off to the regatta. first thing sunday morning we went down to the beach to for the regatta...biff was taking his bike...for the exercise...he left a few minutes later.

while he was getting the dogs settled, he noticed a town police car driving down our street.  he thought about what a nice small town community feeling we still have.  he thought it was nice to know the police still do patrols through neighborhoods.  he started out to his bike...and had a moment of panic...the lieutenant  had pulled the police truck into the driveway!  he was walking up the driveway  and waved to biff.  like any good citizen, biff was terrified!

the lieutenant approached and said to biff, "you won't believe this!"  biff was still frozen.  the lieutenant was beaming.  "i had just set up my speed trap."  shaking his head and smiling, he started again, "the first car......the FIRST CAR!"

biff was still puzzled but polite.  lieutenent d. said, "it was her!  unbelieveable! the red jeep cherokee!  that high school girl was the first one out there this morning!  i didn't even get to stop by the house to tell her parents! "

the lieutenant and biff were amazed.  biff told the lieutenant that he was absolutely amazed....then he said, "but, that's my wife.  things like that happen when she's involved!"

he saved the best for last, "guess what?  she was clocked at 42 miles per hour.....in a 25!" 

that was awesome...and he wasn't on the hunt for her...she drove right into his speed trap!  it was meant to be.  someone was meant to slow her down....only this was priceless.  even the cop was amazed.  just like i said to biff on our first date.....while trying to get  a difficult bite of food into my mouth....i was struggling...biff noticed and we laughed...."stick around," i said.  this is only the beginning!

stick around! it's all true.

Claire Murray on Nantucket

t.j. had a poster for spanish class that was apparently VERY IMPORTANT because he suggested that i drive him to school since his poster was so precious....and grace  was delighted to join since her school was right next door. 

of course.  any mother worth her weight in salt would be thrilled to have a child so proud of his work!  i had to respect that.

UNTIL my sweet teens began to fight over who had "shotgun"....yup!  it still matters.  still.  when the pilgrims came over on the mayflower, after years and years, they are still doing the alternate plan....you go there and i'll take it home. only this morning, there was a dispute over who had been in "shotgun" last.  yes, a discussion ensued. no big deal.

no big deal until, grace would not budge. t.j. was calling her names...loudly....back and forth...stomping. back and forth.  did i say loud?  I meant VERY LOUD! on our quiet  street, i might call it EXTREMELY LOUD!  did i mention that it was 7:00 in the morning.  if i had just let them take the bus.

you would think after a minute that the games would be called off.  NOPE.  not with our little "donkey krauts"...that's what biff calls our variety of child....with and irish/german mix....irish/german = stubborn X 2 = VERY STUBBORN, but very cute when they're getting along...which is often...not very often since they've become teens....but, i'll settle with often. i know they'll get back....in at least 10 years or so.

i might not have minded there bickering...i was peaceful.  i had the car running. i sat and waited for them to work it out....tic tic tic tic.  nope. this called for intervention. i was tired...i took a breath and began. "get in the car t.j.".....NO it's my 

TURN!  TELL HER to get OUT!

it continued a bit longer.  THEN i did it! i cracked.  i used my mother's thing...i  used "the clench" and "the voice"...the combo platter!  i only use it in a time crunch....and when i feel that there is a chance of my children freezing in place....stubborn freeze....it started way back....when we had to pull our kids away from the mini-merry go rounds at supermarkets when i only had 1 quarter for 2 kids...usually at the most inopportune moment...when we had to be somewhere.

i like to stay calm....after all, it was only the front seat!  it wasn't a trip cross country.  it was just more than a mile....they've ridden their bikes.

"the clench" is a touch of locust valley lockjaw.  l.v.l.j., my friend

 sue used to call it. it goes like this....clench, grit and talk. like. this. would. you. GET.

in. the. CAR. NOW. with em-PHA-SIS on the last syllable...unless it is at the end of a statement...then there is em-PHA-SIS on the last 2 syllables. 

 

 

they seem to recognize "the clench"...it's when i use the grit that they look puzzled...or terrified.  i don't like to use it often.  i don't.  i don't let them rile me...if i did, i'd never "win."  the mom and dad have to WIN!   the whole parenting world will crumble and the kids would rule the world....we have a responsibility.  to the world.  and to our life.

in the middle of the "clench" and "the grit".....which took place after the big loud booming name calling began........i became aware that our  neighbor, the quiet and friendly  congregational minister of the church on the green......husband and father of 2 who have long been off on their own.....living in one of those quiet houses with no shoes at the door or socks or backpacks or sand from the beach.

he was out on his front lawn with his little dog....not the big friendly goldens like we have      (read> fitzy, who has run through their back door at full speed, stopping in the kitchen, only to look for food, then continued  through to the front door and out and back towards our kitchen....that was their welcome wagon. read> friendly like daisy who runs to say hello after rolling in a muddy puddle...and shakes her muddy water over his nicely ironed khakis)..............he was peacefully pondering his gardens when i noticed him. i was mid "clench"....i was tightly "gritting" and i had just raised my volume for effect....slow and steady, that's how i roll!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

that's when "the clench" and "the grit" began.  "GET IN NOW OR I WILL MAKE YOU BOTH WALK!"  ......that's when i had to keep clenched and be quiet. i waited. i waited. i waited. i won.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

henry ford never mentioned this.... moments after he finished his  outrageous invention, he took it for a test drive......he drove home....pulled into the driveway....left the car running......called out to the family.....they all came running out to see the car........THAT's when  the "shotgun" wars began....right then and there.  i think it was shortly after that......he invented the ford country squire.....with the "WAY BACK"....just to avoid the "shotgun wars."

 

 

 

 

 

*******************************

i am blessed to know a big bunch of recovering alcoholics. biff and i have had lots of exposure to the disease....through the years working with lots of different people....myriad friends and family along the way.  first of all, i'm irish!  second of all, they tell me that they are 1 in 4!  wow. guess what?  i hardly had a clue that some of the people i love were struggling.  they "NEEDED" a drink!  third of all, they all say that they had signs, personal sign posts or warnings along the way....accidents, blackouts, D.U.I.s or missed work among the many.

different people.  different places.  different things. circumstances. wall street guys with families and big houses in beautiful towns with lots of beautiful kids....friends, who had to have a couple glasses of wine after work and kept drinking into the night......an old friend from my hometown who started drinking when her kids went to kindergarten.....a guy that was drinking since high school when it was fun with friends and now his friends have moved on to other successful worlds......a friend who has taught at the finest universities in the country who couldn't write a paper unless she had "a few".......as we've all gotten older, we hear lots more!  and now...we've had sadness of knowing some who just couldn't make it "one day at a time."

for years....they drank and drank...until they just woke up sick and tired.  they tell me that they were "tired of being sick and tired", some had family who did interventions and some who had a day that really scared them...realizing the affect it was having on family who loved them.  they tell me that their life was becoming "unmanageable" and they couldn't hide their "secret" anymore.

way back when, we all did....now, as time goes on, some can't stop!  for real...CAN'T STOP!  wow. now that's what i call a disease. 

the coolest part of all....their lives sober than they ever could have imagined!  there lives are healthy with healthy friends.  they have more energy.  they have more time in the day to be active.  they say drinking stole their lives away....drinking took up lots of time and energy.  they have fun.  they have faith.  their friends can enjoy them now.

some people feel sorry for  recovering alcoholics. ironically, the recovering person feels sorry for them.  the drinkers think it's too bad their friends and family "can't" drink anymore.  the sober are so grateful their life is so great that they have an"the attitude of gratitude."

now, that's someone i want to be around.  someone who is grateful. someone who makes the best of any situation. someone who doesn't judge.  someone who is accountable for their behavior. someone who looks at problems as a challenge.  someone who's honest with nothing to hide.

"one day at a time" sounds pretty good to me....not too overwhelming...a little bit at a time....baby steps....mom....taking care of our babies/kids/teens.......if i thought about how much there is to parenting too much, i'd be overwhelmed. 

i'd rather be grateful, thankful and take it one day at a time......even if it's my blog.  everything is easier...one step at a time. 

that's how i'll write the blog and

let's see how that goes. i think i'll be happier....enjoy it more...have more fun....so will the people around me!  thanks to the many friends and family who have shared their healthy way of living! 

.....and prayers everyday for the people we know who struggle with this hideous disease....and the people loved and lost from this vicious disease. may they find comfort in sobriety and a healthy way of living.  one day at a time.  this blog's for them.

not quite as simple but....it seems that lots of  recovering people work at seeing how to find the solution rather than dwelling on the problem.

i can learn from that!  i'm still open to any help or chance to learn along the way.....to oversimplify the recovering lifestyle.....if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

one post at a time

my style.  i love to write.  it's much more concise when talking with friends. when i write on this blog, i write too much.  i know it rambles and since i've had my e-bay store it has been rambling more and more...and more. it's time.  time management.  life. life management. me. me management.

when i began life with new babies, i had to work out time...time management according to the babies. now according to the teens, independent as they are, i still have to work my time management around them. 

family, kids me and miscellaneous life. miscellaneous life now consists of me working....on my my blog and on my store. 

my blog was fun to write at first. since my e-bay store, i've had to work hard to do e-bay well.  i see growth in my store.  i don't see growth in my blog.  friends read it...some others do. it's not reader friendly...it's rambling....the writing  needs effort and time.

no one has time. life is busy.  after thinking whether or not to continue...i realized that it will be very good to simplify.

i've decided to write shorter and more concise posts with short stories of my funny real life moments....the real reason for the name of the blog!  hence, "littlemarymixup", the name my mom so fondly called me!

it's the little things.  it's everyday life stuff. it's the funny people i meet stuff.  it's the dogs' stuff.  just stuff. everyday stuff.

that was my plan. initially, committed to writing every day, i was proud of myself  for following through.

now, i feel like jack of all trades....master of none because i love it all!  it's just not good for me.....probably not so good for any one reading....yawn.

so, i'll try it. simply. maybe i'll be more enthusiastic once i simplify. maybe others will enjoy it more.....if it's not written like war and peace. too big a commitment to sit down and read?  ya think? i do.  i'm boring myself and i just hate when that happens.

so, we'll see how it goes....i guess if you're out there reading this, you can be the judge.  i judge myself well enough, thanks.

as the famous a.a. slogan says, "one day at a time."  if an alcoholic, desperately trying to get sober  from a tumultuous disease, can do this "one day at a time" thing....i guess i can give it a go.  some of the recovered people that i know have told me that they had to take it one hour at a time! i'll take it one post at a time.