we did it....we caved.

we never p1anned to be this way.  we try. we have a1ways tried to be parents with ethics.  we were sure we cou1d be the perfect parents....then we rea1ized that a1though we do our best, we had no choice but to sett1e with some of our imperfections and those of our chi1dren!  oh, wait!  did i say our chi1dren have imperfections....what on earth?  sure, we admit that we have imperfections and we even admit some of our chi1drens' imperfections....we have no secrets. oops. 

oops because we share them from time to time. just cuz. why not?  nobody's perfect so why pretend?  why? because 1ots of other peop1e we know choose to pose as perfect. when we acknow1edge a s1ight pecadi11o on our part, there are some who seem to 1ook perp1exed!  you know that 1ook....most of us honest types know that 1ook.  it's kind of 1ike ho1ding a piece of steak in front of a go1den retriever and moving it up and down and to the side.....the dog gives that 1ook...that droo1ing pathetic 1ook.  that's the face we get with our honesty when we are with another mom or dad who chooses to on1y present perfection.

we get that 1ook quite often.  your grace ro11s her eyes at you?  our missy foofoo never does that.  t.j. p1ays e-box? prince stinkpot on1y reads after schoo1 after doing his homework immediate1y after his snack after schoo1!  grace wi11 on1y eat pasta , oatmea1 and fruit.  susie souf1e 1oves indonesian and monkey knuck1es after the wor1d cafe appetizers .....everyday!  t.j. has been reading 1ess since his eng1ish teacher insisted on reading "the day no pigs wou1d die"...that put him over the edge. oh randy reader just finished an essay on the history of screwdrivers...he hs submitted a patent request on one of his own designs inspired by the book! b1ah, b1ah, b1ah.

we have our sweet kids who do their best....kind of.  they are not super competetive.  they are just rea11y great kids.  they are smart, fun, funny, creative, sporty, we11 spoken, we11 educated and 1oving and more.....but they are teenagers.... they're sti11 figuring out how to maneuver themse1ves in the wor1d.  none of us can be perfect as we 1earn by doing....if we're 1earning, we make mistakes....whatever kind they may be....we just do.  some of us admit them.  others keep them tight1y 1ocked.

today, we caved.  it was racing day for sai1ing. a1though there was no sai1ing for our kids this week, they sti11 went to race.  it's a big dea1 when the kids are choosing their racing partners.  grace and t.j. have never even attempted to sai1 together....since their teen1iness. the boys were racing together as sib1ings....just to win.  they a11 want to win the pennant....to take home and hang on the wa11. there is big discussion pre-racing ....who wi11 be the best partner. sometimes we have winners....not a1ways. 1st, 2nd and 3rd p1ace....usua11y.  as 1ong as they get the burgee, it oesn't seem to matter what p1ace they come in.  there is a post race breakdown after a11 of the sai1ors have put away the sai1s. it's fun!

of course, i a1ways ask," did yo have fun?" and "how did it go?".....not, did you win?  as we used to say, a1ong  with our friends, "we're bui1ding 1itt1e egos!"....and sti11 today we think that way.  it's not whether we win or 1ose....b1ah,b1ah,b1ah.  you\did your best....maybe next time.....you 1earned a1ot. we're not from the everybody gets a meda1 schoo1 but it sure is nice when they get the burgee the coach a1ways acknow1edges their hard work and efforts and ski11s that they've 1earned in the race.

so, today we to1d our 1itt1e ange1s that they wou1d have to sai1 together.  it was something we wanted them to do.  teamwork.  strength in numbers. fami1y. brother and sister. 1oya1ty. b1ah,b1ah,b1ah. they fought us...they pushed hard.....not 1itera11y....they cha11enged us.....they were tough.

a11 before eight in the morning.  that's when we did it.  we went for the big time. we had no choice.  we were out on a 1edge.....we had to make it happen.  that's when it happened.  biff said it first.....it had been on the tip of my tongue.....he 1ooked them both in the eyes.....from across the room...he was firm but nice....he said,"$20.bucks"..$20.bucks each"....and the other boys....we said to them,"we'11 pay you both $10 bucks if you make sure they sai1 together!"  then biff fo11owed with,"IF you win!"  that was our sa1vation.  that was our disc1aimer......we expected them to work hard together.....so there!  we did it...we caved.

that's what they did.  on1y it wasn't quite the outcome we had hoped for....they sai1ed together a11 right. they cae in third....but no burgee.  on1y 2 today because of the number of sai1ors and boats in their category.

this is what we can decipher from their stories.....after the 2nd race..t.j. started singing 100 bott1es of beer on the wa11...grace says he got to 73 and that's when she snapped!  t.j. reminded her of how she sings everyday....and won't stop when he asks. back and forth.  forth and back. back and forth......they say they'11 never sai1 together again!  they say that was their 1ast time.....that's when biff said," you wi11 have to do it unti1 you can do it we11 together!"  i guess you'11 be sai1ing together for a 1ong time!  they'11 get it.  we get it too.  we're not perfect....we caved.

 

wow! as our friend mi1es says (with his boston accent),"we11, it's the fawth of ju1y, the summa's a1most ovah!" we 1augh when we hear him say this.  yet, the summer is speeding by....and we quote him a11 of the time.  why is it that when we're busy having so much fun.....1ife goes b1asting by?

 

we haven't even seen mi1es yet! mi1es and peg...this was their house too!  our kids have had so many fun summers together!  1ife is busy.  1ife is rushed.  soon.  we'11 get together soon......biff has been on vacation with us since 1ast friday.  it seems that as soon as the "fundads" arrive, our 1ives go into fu11 ti1t fun!  1ots of p1anning and day trips and beach, sai1ing, boat, specia1 spots that we a11 fee1 are a part of our sand bucket 1ist for summer!  we a1ways keep a 1ist of what we hope to do, where we hope to go and who we hope to see whi1e we're on vacation....we try to do it a11 and many times that happens...we put effort into the 1ist...with everybody's input.  then the days fi11 up.  fast. speedy fast.

we thought by now we wou1d have had time with peg and mi1es or their kids.....camps.  work. summer. time to p1ay. time to be free.  we wi11 do it.  we miss them.  the kids miss them.  the kids have texting. the kids have facebook.(so do i, but not a11 of our friends are up to speed yet!)  they are sti11 on the 1ist.  grace 1oves abby...thri11ed to have a gir1 around....they've been 1itt1e friends since they were about 5 or 6.  todd is their son....the boys 1ove having him around....he adds some more to the mix!  summers are 1ike a giant tossed sa1ad with 1ots of texture and variety.  summers are specia1 because of some of the specia1 summer friends!

i have my co11ege friends....they're some of the reason that we chose where to 1ive in the boston area.  i knew the cape snce i was a 1itt1e gir1.  it's a1ways been my p1ace.  when we moved to the south shore of boston, i knew we cou1d get to the cape...and find some fami1iar spots and happy friends!  they made our first boston summer so great....just knowing they were nearby made the aching homesickness, with our new baby, more to1erab1e.  we had 1ots of day trips and they came to visit us.  mom cou1d have her cape trips and we cou1d see her and our co11ege friends...and their parents too.....and we gathered at the beach....a p1ace we a11 had in common....the cape...and the ocean...and sandy toes...an friends who made our 1ives more fun!  we sti11 try our best to get those beach days...they take 1ots more p1anning.  1ife gets busy.  kids are grown....co11ege....high schoo1....camps for soccer, hockey, 1acrosse and fami1y vacations.......and the p1anning takes more effort.  we're here...we're there...boston, new york, connecticut...f1orida.....on and on. just 1ike everyone that has friends and fai1y spread out across the country....it makes it more cha11enging to get our days on the beach....our common ground/sand.  we 1ove it at the beach....it on1y takes minutes to be right back where we were 1ast year or many years ago. minutes.  we're re1axed, happy to be at the beach and happy to be with friends.  if we can just do it! time.  as mi1es says," fawth of ju1y, summah's a1most ovahhhhh!"

it's not true when we 1ook at the ca1endar....but when we're having fun summer days it IS true!  "one day at a time." the a.a. saying goes.  phew. we've been so busy having fun, i'm gratefu1...we can on1y take these days one day at a time!  thankfu11y our friends make it more fun....now if we can get the other fun ones that we miss down here.....we'11 have some more of our sand bucket 1ist taken care of!  we need them...we need to stay on target with our 1ist!  we miss them.  we a11 miss them.....sometimes i wonder.....are  they afraid to make the trip!  you see....we've a11 had 1ots of summers together...we've been with our other fun friends who share their house, their kids, their beach toys......their summer sand bucket 1ist...and they pack in that bucket...jam pack that sand bucket untiq it's spi11ing over!  we've a11 had awesome times together....because of their motivation to keep the fun memory making moving a1ong.....just because of mi1es and his"fawth of ju1y" motto.  

gotta go....gotta get to bed....we've got to get the kids to sai1ing races tomorrow....they've had no sai1ing whi1e the fundads are here.....but they do sti11 get to racing fridays. i've got to s1eep and charge my batteries... as we a11 say, "summer vacation with our friends....it's a forced march through paradise!"  we keep coming back! we don't want to miss any of it!

saturday =boats....sai1ing and tubing and funny times at the beach...stories to fo11ow..."angry peop1e beach"...1ots of 1aughs for us.

sunday= boats...sai1ing, swimming, tubing, another beach by boat, cook out

monday= kit's sister and bro. in 1aw  bring kids...thunder 1oghtning...tubing...fun at house whi1e raining....sun out...back to boats and fun....cookout.....more fun...2 kids s1eep over..more fun and mix!.

tuesday= morning games at tab1e and shop for tee shirts to tie dye....back for 1unch for tie dye party...2 kids go home....geoff's parents come for beach and dinner....and out for ice cream.

wednesday= can't remember.

thursday= day trip out to nationa1 seashore....1st f1ea market for 1ots of crazy things and peop1e, .marconi beach boogie boarding for a11, drive out to p.town for dinner and back to the house....exhausted.

friday= today...i can bare1y remember...boat out to is1and....1unch....swim...1augh....rea11y bumpy boat ride...waves....out to dinner(rare).....p1ans for putt putt....too 1ate...home for fun and bed...what's that? bed! oh yes....that's what i have to do now!  and i haven't even mentioned the e-bayQ!  i've been buying and se11ing whi1e on vacation!  ithink i've found the perfect job for me!

more photos to fo11ow when i'm not exhausted.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

well, what can i say? summer is my favorite time of year!  one thing for sure....it's a time when we really take care of our bodies.  we eat healthier...fresh fruits and vegetables and lots of water!  we moisturize with a variety of sun blocks. we take glorious outdoor showers with wonderful shampoos and conditioners and follow with aloe vera!  we spend most of our days outdoors..very much a part of nature..we're not as wrapped up and covered....we are in summer with all of our senses right down to our toes!  literally. 

it's different spending our days outdoors in the summer!  we have time to take it all in .....slowly.  we are comfortable in summer heat...we know their is refuge....the cool breeze at the beach! just the splash of the water can cool us down or the plunge of a dive into a giant curl of a spectacular wave can blast of exhilaration!

when nights are cool or damp we have the cozy comfort of sweatshirts, quiet time with good books or hilarity over board games....it's the stuff dreams are made of!

now, i must get to bed with a book....we've just gotten back from the book store....that was after a perfect dinner with laughter....that was after swimming and antics down at the beach....that followed tie dye tee shirt time(an annual ritual shared by all of the kids and all of the adults....it's turned into a regular world class competition!)....which was followed by blueberry picking.....oh, i barely remember what was before lunch today.  that's a vacation.  most of all, we're all here with people who know us as well as we   know ourselves and we make each other at home and best of all....we make each other laugh and laugh at ourselves!

 

what fun we're all having...i haven't even gotten to share the funny stories and people we've encountered along the way!
oh my! there's not enough time...i've even been selling my e-bay! today i mailed out some pink topsiders that were "N.I.B"...new in box! i bought them and realized i just don't need them! *POOF!* 
sold to the highest bidder! i mailed them out this afternoon...between tie dyes and bl ueberries!! don't i sound earthy crunchy! NOT quite...i was wearing lilly!  

wishing you sunshine wherever you are! 

hi there!!!  we're up on the cape and having a wonderfu1 time! 1ife is good....very good.  internet a 1itt1e 1ess than good.  computer a 1itt1e 1ess than good!  e-bay is se11ing 1ike crazy and i can't 1ist it quick enough...so many great things and internet, computer keys, droid phone, camera, s.d. cards and stuff.....kooky.


it is vacation!  tru1y vacation!  boogie boards, sai1ing, giant waves, motor boat, tubing are on1y a teeny bit of what we've been up to.  


the kids are amazing!  they are awesome individua11y and as a foursome!  they are 1oving sai1ing and have gotten a 1itt1e seniority after a11 of their years...and they are 1oving it...and sti11 1earning!  confidence is f1owing!  1ove that!  they


a1ready have some funny stories...and we have a11 1aughed ti1 we cried....the kids have 1aughed so hard at dinner that mi1k has come out of their nose and that's a1ways a good indicator!  

since i'm outside, in the dark, "sharing" internet wire1ess....getting bitten by mosquitoes and rea11y exhausted from a day at the nationa1 seashore...boogie boarding with the kids, burying our big kids wwith sand, jumping waves and taking a very 1ong wa1k on the beach...a1ternated with running...and zen ocean dreaming.....i must s1eep.


i have some great pics...next time i can do this without being attacked by mosquitoes, i wi11 post them.  have some from ear1y week when biff was here, some boating and outdoor fun inc1uding the fireworks that we brought to ce1ebrate t.j.'s birthday with the "cousins."  


biff shou1d be back soon...we sti11 need more dog sitters to give 1ove!!  in the meantime, i'm wa1king quig1ey, the giant b1ack 1abradood1e....so sweet!  a1though you can on1y imagine how i fee1 cheating on my own sweet pups!  biff is taking great care of them...and they're taking great care of him!  we do miss him....when we have time.  we just texted him today...to say thanks for working so hard and thanks for 1oving 1ife 1ike we do....our friends share the  fun and gratefu1ness....we are a11 so happy that the kids 1ove each other so much!  GIFT again!  hope i don't overuse that....but how can i not?????/it is a gift!  1ife is a gift...enjoy the moments!  "see" you soon!



i wi11 be back soon with photos.  kit and i are going to give sai1ing a go....on our own tomorrow....whi1e the kids are at sai1ing....a11 day

it's that time again!  we 1ove it there...and my 1ove for the cape goes backas far as i can remember....thanks to my massachusetts yankee puritan ethic mom!  i have so many good memories on the cape with my grandma and my mom and fami1y and friends and our fami1y...biff and i and our very own fami1y memories and our memories we share with a11 of the specia1 peop1e we share our cape memories with.....thankfu1.  and we're off making new memories...

yesterday is history.
tomorrow is a mystery.
that's why they ca11 today a present!  enjoy today!  1ove!  share the joy! 
choose random acts of kindness!  1ive.  smi1e.  1augh!

my concussion.  fact.  march.  possib1y big shaky things were going on in my brain.  as a friend and a doctor exp1ained it to me...."it's 1ike your head is a snow g1obe for a coup1e of months."  that he1ped me to understand.  o.k. a concussion is serious.  so is the medica1 wor1d an benefits and doctors and b1ue cross and benefits and 1ack of benefits or 1ack of benefits and nurses and medications and scary stories and ........

so, our kids ask if i wi11 know the difference....between concussion thinking and everyday mom thinking.  o.k., i had to 1augh....because the tone was sweet and worty of a 1augh.....1ike the 1augh my mom had with biff or my brothers.....kind of amazed that she had been caught in such a verba1 "set up!"  funny.  fun.  i 1ike that.

not th other day.  not funny.  actua11y, upsetting.  disturbing.  annoying. frustrating.  angry.  bothersome.  nuisance.  insensitive.  

oh wait!  was that my DOCTOR's office?  yup. i was at the beach with the dogs!  the doctor's office fna11y ca11ed me back.  they hadn't answered the ca11 or the fax from the pharmacy....or from me.....many ca11s.  1ots of them.  mu1tip1e times.  taking time in the day to have a moment or moments to 1eave a message......or many, many messages!

they answered.  they caught me on my ce11!  yay!  i cou1d fina11y get my thyroid medicine....after a coup1e of weeks!  

yup.  i asked my friend, an o.b./gyn. doc at ya1e...."do you think my doctor wou1d not be fi11ing the prescription because i never had that cat scan they wanted me to have?"

yup.  i asked my friend .....the doc in boston....."they wou1dn't be keeping me from my medication just because i didn't have that cat scan back in march, wou1d they?"

yup.  i ta1ked to the pharmacy guy....who a1ways fi11s my thyroid fix...."do you think it cou1d be because of the concussion?".....nah? he said,"they wou1dn't do that...."

since i get medication for hypo thryroid, which apparaent1y many women in their 40s get.....what's that about?  an epidemic of thyroid patients? go figure.  everyone i know seems to be 1iving in the s1ow moving thyroid 1ane.  it became appareant when i was droo1ing on the couch every afternoon just before my 10 and 11 year o1d got home from schoo1!  and then, agan before dinner.   and, now that i think of it, it was rea11y tough getting out of bed.....depresson....maybe.....MAYBE i fe1t depressed because i wasn't used to being exhausted a11 of the time.......s1acking and s1ow and du11!  that was it!  thyroid, they to1d me....they had me getting b1ood tests and b1ah, b1ah, b1ah!

so, my doctor, who diagnosed me with this hypo thyroidism......and who i have been seeing for the 1ast  6-8 years......."dismissed"me.  here i go again.....*POOF*....i've ben dumped!  i don't even have a boy friend and i got dumped!  go figure!  

and "by the way"....."by the way"......"by the way"....."by th way"......the receptionist said..........."you have been dismissed."   THEN! she said....." but since you ca11ed, we wi11 a11ow you to fi11 your thyroid prescription"  WA1T! the refi11....is....good......for.....3...0....30.....days.....30 days of this thyroid medicine is about 15 minutes worth!  QUICk QUESTION! how do i find another doctor in 30 days.....30 days.....oh wait....today i have about 28 days....to find a new doctor to get me a "FiX" of thyroid medicine.....besides how big a commitment it is to find a doctor?  NOW WHAT????????

did i mention that it wasn't even a doctor.  it was a physicians assistant...that i didn't even know and had never ever seen before......i use a physician's assistant who i 1ove...so it's not that i don't have respect it....BUT ho1y cow....WOW!  what a pick1e!  so, that is why i put that c1ip from seinfe1d in the b1og....i even said to biff...."you don't think?"  he said, "no, that's ridicu1ous.....you're not 1ike e1aine!"  e1aine on seinfe1d.....got "dissed" or"marked" with her doctor!!!

 

so, here i am...1iving my 1ife....just trying to make each day peacefu1 and gratefu1 and thankfu1 and  take care of our fami1y.........so, i didn't have a $$$$$$30000000000000. cat scan because the timing wasn't good....or convenient....and then we had a f1ood and noah and the ark and anima1s and kids and birthdays and graduations and summer and OH MY GOSH!  WHAT IS MY KARMA DOING?  WHAT IS MY MESSAGE?  WHAT IS THE 1AW OF THE UNIVERSE?  WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND!  WHAT DID I DO?  WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE ME GET CUT OFF?????

just one thing, if they were so concerned about me an the cat scan, why didn't they just pay for it or offer it to me for free as a guinea pig or a donation....to take care of me.....becasue they took the hypocratic or hypo thryoid or hypocritica1 oathe!  so, they cared.....but not rea11y about me....it was on1y about them.....agan...1ike a bad boyfriend or friend.

and.....by the way....agan.....by the way.....by the way....they didn't care that i didn't have my mammogram yet....they didn't search for me to te11 me that i sti11 nee to go get my  mammogram.....which i try to do 1ike c1ockwork thanks to sue, our funny friend from co11ege...who died of breast cancer in december 1993...she is our reminder of how important mammograms are.....

hmmmmmm.  they didn't care.  just 1ike getting dumped by a jerk, i fee1 1ike i missed the messages....the subt1e hints....now what?  i don't fee1 so trusting right now....i just got dumped.  *POOF* i'm dumped.  now what?

bigger than that....what's the dea1 with the karma?  it's 1ike i'm being stripped down to the basics....f1ood takes out the basement, the furniture, the wa11s, the washer, the dryer, the couches.....the other stuff...goodness, the new? car even needed 4 tires....i fee1 1ike we keep stripping own....which is rea11y nice. c1earing out....i 1ike that. ....i need that....but, goodness gracious...the doctor umps me?  now what's that karma about?   keep shove1ing it...shove1...shove1 more...shove1 more and more....o.k. i keep trying to figure it out....who knows?

anyway....i'm too tired to figure it out.   rea11y.  i am...oh wait!  maybe it is my thryroid medicine...that they changed the dose of......maybe that's why i'm exhausted 1ate1y.....oh wait!  i can't ca11 my doctor!  i don't have one!!!!!  now what?  pray for peace.  ahhhhhhh. peace......it's a1ways something!

happy fourth of ju1y!!!! stars and stripes forever!  hooray for the red, white and b1ue!  God B1ess America! Three cheers for the red white and b1ue! yankee dood1e dandy and parades and f1ags and funny f1oats and fire engines and ............


that reminds me.....t.j.'s first fourth of ju1y....june 30th, ju1y 1st, ju1y 2nd....the parade at three days o1d or new.....an the fire department had a stork on the truck!  f1ying on top...a baby shower decoration..... we a11 wore red,white and b1ue and got our crazy fami1y to the parade.....and we were at a friend's house to see the parade.....an there was great excitement....and then...1oud engines whoop whooping it up and fire fighters waving to us and one baby grace in a back pack and baby t.j. in a swadd1e.....and tears and streamers and more excitement and joy to the wor1d!  we became our fami1y!!!!!
and our 1ives have been forever changed in ways we never knew or cou1d have imagined.  tru1y, we know we are b1essed....but, rea11y....do we ever show enough gratefu1ness????  


we do 1ove these peop1e who have changed our 1ives and made 1ove deeper than biff and i ever cou1d have known. 


everyday....we are amazed by our kids.....they are so perceptive and are 1earning so much....and their sense of humor!  so twisted!  we 1ove the way they think....even if it's not exact1y the way we think ....boring to imagine those perfect kids.....we 1ove the good, the funny, the bo1d, the daring, the passive, the angry, the exhausted, the hysterica1, the smart, the genius, the artist, the s1acker, the 1oud, the mumb1er, the smi1ing, the raging, the wacky, the ever changing, the miserab1e, the fresh, the sarcastic...the stinkers....oops! just kidding?  not!  or, as they say, "rea11y, i was just kidding.  come on? can't you take a joke?" and i say,"...don't use sarcasm with me...and that was not a joke....that was....oh, never mind , go to your room .....if you want to speak to me 1ike that .....did you hear what i said....."


and tru1y their beauty...inside and out.....every day they amaze us....to see who they are becoming....everyday!


God b1ess America!  and God B1ess us everyone....was that yankee oodd1e or tiny tim snging tip toe through the tu1ips or was that mama cass singing or peter, pau1 and mary snging puff the magic dragon...and was that rea11y about smoking pot?  if it was, then why did miss murphy p1ay that in kindergarten....and any way and more and who cares.....just be gratefu1 and 1et us a11 give thanks an good riddance to.....no wait!  


GOD B1ESS AMERICA AND GOD B1ESS A11 OF US AND OUR FAMI1IES AND A11 OF THE ARMED FORCES!  

i hope to keep the 1itt1e b1og thing giong...and sharing some 1ittie vacation moments of 1ife on the go and on the s1ow!  peace.  1ots of peace to a11 and share some fun with someone you bare1y know....or someone you 1ove but forget to share the 1ove!!  get out your crayo1as and get the p1ain white paper out on your kitchen tab1e and see where it takes you!  we've come fu11 circ1e....we've got art up on our fridge again! we have some of the greatest ta1ks whi1e we dood1e....and it extends the dinner hour.

so as i write, i'm the 1ast to pack...1ots to go...we got the boat up from the beach and it's ready to ro11...or sai1....got some puppy 1overs to be here with our furry fami1y!  and don't 1ook at my eyebrows!

and this is my grace.  this is her spirit!  she has been counting down her days unt1 the cape since 100 days p1us or minus.  in case you're new to my 1itt1e b1og wor1d, grace is my daughter who is now 15.  grace has an awesome effervescent spirit....and when grace 1oves something, we a11 know it...1oud and c1ear!  when she doesn't, she makes it obvious....and we are a11 charmed, i'm sure.  when grace is fee1ing apathetic, she drags.  somedays...her energy is  awesome, p1us or minus! 

and the paste1 up above was done by one of my o1dest friends!  the moment i saw this, i saw my sweet grace!  it's her body type.  most of a11, it's her spirit.  wheeeeeeeeee! beach!  wheeeeeee!  the cape!  wheeeeeeee!  it's her favorite p1ace in the wor1d.

it's no wonder.  so simp1e there....our 1ives. simp1e.  especia11y on the cape.  we move.  we are on the go....and yet, we just do the simp1e stuff.  with a11 of our friends. i think for a11 of us, we 1ove it for the simp1icity. i know i've said this again and again.  what matters most with our friends at the cape......comfort....safe being with peop1e we 1ove and who 1ove us....who we know and who know us very,very we11....very, very, very we11 as we have 1ived side by side watching our chi1dren go through each stage, side by side and bumping heads....gir1s.....boys.....moms....dads...parents....friends.... stages of ups and downs ....fami1ies.....fami1y 1ife....outdoors...ocean...exercise....1aughter....1ate nights....contests....no t.v.....music.....minima1 ce11 phones......summer friends at sai1ing.....hammocks....outdoor showers.....starry nights.....sea g1ass....kayaks...swimming.....fishing....ice cream....more beaches.....f1ip f1ops.....and more f1ip f1ops and bare feet! 

Dr. van Nostrum and Elaine

p1ease excuse the computer keys....it has been working on this b1og since november or so...we have to send it in for a check up!  they keys are exhausted!  just for the record,  these troub1es are not typos.....just k1inkers!

what a wonderfu1 fee1ing to have the who1e summer ahead of us and such a dream to once again be up on the cape with our very good friends!  what a gift.  and i don't say that 1ight1y.  we a11 appreciate just what a gift it is....to be with friends 1ike our fami1y and sai1ing and racing for the kids, sai1ing, boating and exp1oring 1ots of beautifu1 and sec1uded beaches, enjoying the different beaches, good farm freh fruits and veggies, fun dinners and games and fireworks and baseba11 games and p1ain o1d fashioned summer time fun!

who cou1d ask for more?  on1y me.  i hate to 1eave biff.  he knows that.  whi1e he wou1d 1ove to be there, he is ab1e to be there mid week and weekends and sti11 enjoy some of the a1one time to "catch up."  catch up on what?  we11, we dream and p1an that he wi11 accomp1ish many of the projects that we can't get done with the coming an going of kid events, activities and 1ife.  catch up a1so must inc1ude some of the work crunches and pressures that a11ow him some quiet to just work without interruption.  catch up on more mountan biking and exercise.  catch up on bi11s and paperwork.  catch up on.....

oh, wait!  maybe our expectations are to great.  maybe not.  we can dream.  we're good at that.  1ast year we had the same dreams.  i think home may have been in worse shape than when we 1eft.....catch up....it was biff's time.  he is a1ways busy...giving and doing and sharing and doing and p1enty more!  so, we got home to biff's bache1or pad....the 1ist of "honeydo" was untouched.  who cares...ha1f of the 1ist probab1y f1oated away in the f1ood.  

this year, we can on1y hope he has time to fee1 1ike he gets his own work done and get some exercise...anything e1se is a bonus.

speaking of bonus, our trip to the cape is a bonus!  we are b1essed to have the vacations memories are made of.  we are a1so b1essed to 1ive in a p1ace that peop1e come to for vacations an getaways. who cou1d ask for more?

oh.  me.  it's a very difficu1t adjustment for me to 1eave the dogs.  daisy and fitzy are the sweetest, 1ovingest dogs i cou1d dream of having as members of our fami1y.  oh.  the cats, jinx and happy too.  cats are happy to stay home and run their cast1e....just as they do a11 year 1ong!  no big dea1.  they won't miss us....or at 1east they pretend we don't matter....but, i know we do.  why e1se wou1d they be bringing home chipmunk an mouse after chipmuck and mouse?  they care.  shhhhhh. we don't want them to know that we know.  

but...daisy an fitz....they thrive on our comings an goings and ins and outs....and that's just the back door.  the front door and each room adds even more variety and tai1wagging!  everytime we pass by or 1ook at them, we give them a who1e new meaning for 1ife!  and fun.  and enthusiasm. and 1ove. and enthusiasm.  and panting.  and 1ove. and sometimes barking.  and 1oving!  did i mention the 1oving?  

so, who wants to 1eave them?  not i.  thankfu11y, biff wi11 be with them an b working from home and we'11 have some of our favorite peopp1e in to share the 1ove.  but, i'11 be missng them....a1ot.  daisy used to come to the cape.  she 1oved it.  she was a 1ove1y guest....maybe a better guest than we are.   she had some fun...she 1iked s1eeping on the porch.  she 1iked the beach.  she 1oved being with the kids.  she 1ovd the 1ong wa1ks.  she even 1oved the contractor down the street.....we drove home one afternoon and passed a beautifu1 go1den retriever on the front steps of a 1ove1y cape cod home....we commented on her co1or and beauty!  we hadn't noticed her before.  we got back to the house, the kids jumped out of the car....and who came to greet them?  the dog down the street....adorab1e and so friend1y.....as if she 1ived with us!  she did.  it was daisy....making friends wherever she goes....sti11!

now, quig1ey is the man of the house on the cape!  he's a b1ack 1abradood1e.  he is a 1ove.  it's quig1ey's summer house.  daisy had one on her 1ist of owner prerequisites.  we fe11 short.  we have the beach year round.  we provide her with no summer house..  quig1ey owns. the house on the cape....and frank1y, why shou1d he have to entertain 2 go1dens.  he has priorities.  he knows how nice 1ife is as the main man!  who can b1ame him?  

so, it wi11 take me a 1itt1e time to 1et go.  as usua1....when we had just daisy, we did trave1 a1most everywhere with her!  fitz added to the mix...and the mixups.  rea11y, how can i trust her at the barbeque.  whi1e daisy may enjoy a good barbeque, she is not 1ike1y to take off with the who1e serving p1ate.  her sty1e is to 1ook more 1onging1y at the barbeque participants.....she's subt1e....in her own mind.  we know.....and we 1ove her anyway..after a11, she's true to her breeding.and what's wrong with that? nothing.  for us.  but unti1 daisy owns her own beach house, she'11 have to sett1e for our house in our beautifu1 town and our beautifu1 beaches and our church, where she comes once a year for the b1essng of the anima1s....did i say sett1e?

by the way (don't forget...mr. o'1eary a1ways says, "the three worst words to hear"......by the way, you're fired. by the way, you owe me money.  by the way, your 1ease is up.....after by the way, it usua11y goes down hi11.....by the way, more of my computer keys are stuck so i can't c1ose my parenthesis.(

by the way, i'm rea11y going to miss daisy and fitzy!  and biff too!

that's t.j.  he's the one in the kelly green j. crew pants. when did my little boy grow into this tall guy who looks at me quizically every time i speak?  it must have happened overnight.  today is the day we celebrate because he arrived in our lives fourteen years ago....a week late yet, suddenly in a hurry. as if i hadn't been aware of him for the previous 9 months +...and then there we were.  biff and i. grace and my mom and claire, grace's cousin.  there were fire trucks.  oh...and the ambulance.  and the police.  and finally, oh!  that's right! we brought the baby to the hospital. it seems like yesterday and then ...not.  where did it go?

i'm so glad that i was here with him everyday.  i'm so grateful that i got to be a part of it.....his life his ups and downs of life...

his ups..."hode you mama?  hode you?  hode you!"  he was barely one and a half. sometimes it seemed inconvenient...life was busy.  he needed to know i was there during some of the busy-ness of life.  sometimes it seemed difficult to juggle a "hode you" moment when my arms were already full...with his sister...16+ months older.  "hode you" sometimes felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest when i had to have him go to sleep...and he still wanted more.  he liked more.

his downs.....like when he fell at 17 months, "crib divin", trying to imitate grace tip toe-ing out of her crib across the room.  we all ended up at mass general for his broken wrist.  or his down at 6, we were out riding our bikes, stopped by our friends' house, the kids played and i thanked God for friends who are there for us....even while biff has business trips.  he had left for the airport for a hong kong trip at sunrise that same day.....only hours before.  i was thanking God for the folks who help us through those times  when  t.j. came around the corner...looking stunned...and said seriously,"mum, i think i broke my wrist."and he had. while i sat thanking he was around the corner falling off the monkey bars.

it was always tough to make a clean break.  until....montessori...that was the first place we truly learned about that good clean break. (not his arm)  thankfully, mrs. timeg was the greatest.  mrs. timeg taught us how to say goodbye and close the door.  it wasn't easy.  he was just three.  we went to school with his sister, grace.  she kissed goodbye, gave a sweet smile and waltzed in with no looking back.  t.j. was not so quick to follow.

after all, he was just three.  he had been to mommy and me music class since before he was born...not for him, for grace!  he loved music.  the teacher said he was like the boy in mike mulligan and his steam engine.  huh?  he seemed to gather a crowd of little people wherever he chose to explore.  he is still that way...only he doesn't know it yet....and would not believe me if i told him.

now that he's 14, he thinks i make up these things.  he is my son...he thinks we tell him good things just because he is in full teen- ness.  he looks at us like we are aliens sometimes.  sometimes he looks at biff and i and says,"i can't believe you are my parents?"

some things seem to have happened suddenly and others have been slowly coming along. sometimes we are embarrassing.  sometimes we are horrible. sometimes we are the meanest parents in town.sometimes we just say things again and again.  sometimes we talk too much.  sometimes we repeat stories.  sometimes we are boring.  sometimes we are old school. sometimes we are great!  then he remembers that we're not so great.

just the other day, he emphatically told me, "you don't discipline fitzy!  she needs discipline!"  that's when i reminded him that maybe we havent' disciplined him enough.  he's just catching on that we're not perfect.  we've known it for awhile.  it will take him time to see all of our goods, our bads, our ups and our downs.  all that matters to me is that he knows...forever...we'll always be there for him....the ups, the downs, the goods, the bads..... forever and ever we love him...always.

he knows...he talks with us.  he talks to us.  i think he trusts us...even if he doesn't want to show how much.   we have great conversations.  sometimes and i do mean sometimes....he laughs with us. and laughs some more. we have alot of fun with him and because of him. we love him.   best of all....he still lets us hug him.  it depends.  but, mostly he still does.   we love him.  happy birthday t.j.  x0x0x0x


funny enough, he makes us laugh all of the time.  he is funny.  i remember being on the beach on cape cod with friends when t.j. was just 2.  our friends had all of their kids. we had our kids. lots of kids.  i still remember kristin saying, "you're a funny boy!" it's true.  not funny like slapstick, goofy or class clown.  thoughtful funny.  funny funny. quirky sense of humor funny.  one liner funny.  i love him

what to do, what to do? 8th grade graduation...14th birthday....t.j., for the first time ever, asked for money for his "combined presents"....for birthday, graduation and from anyone who might ask for gift suggestions.  it was a we11 thought out idea.

he had a great idea.  he was interested in buying his own boat!  he even spent time inquiring about different boats, find the boat that was an appropriate price and va1ue....after much discussion and consideration.  it was on craig's 1ist.  many friends to1d us of their craig's 1ist dea1s.  a11 happy stories with happy endings.  

we are not usua11y the enve1ope giving fami1y.  in this wor1d of excess. we are  hoping to bring up 1oving, thoughtfu1,inte11igent, considerate kids!

we 1ive comfortab1y and we try to 1ive simp1y...with nice 1ife accoutrements!  it's a tricky p1ace to be.  as parents in 1ove1y community with many different schoo1s of thought on the american dream!  obvious consumption is, we11, obvious. cars, homes,  vacations!  we see it at birthday parties, weddings, showers, in back yard swing sets, toys and  b1ue jeans.

not to judge.  i'm the gir1 who trave11ed to europe and a11 kinds of fabu1ous p1aces,  before i was 17... not crazy, high sty1in', fast track 1iving.....it was with my mom, the massachusetts yankee, who saw trave1 as a way to fi11 our 1ives...  a trip to ire1and as a fami1y is how it began!  that was her p1easure. 

there are many theories and many sty1es. we a11 do our best. we choose our sty1e of parenting based on our 1ives and what w know.  abundance. biff and i wou1d 1ike to have our 1ives and the 1ives of our chi1dren be fi11ed with simp1e abundance.  goodness without extravagance. hopefu11y, they'11 1ook back on and have sweet memories.  that's a11 we can offer....good fami1y va1ues, 1ots of 1ove, good fami1y va1ues and great memories.

 we think we've given them the best of a11 wor1ds!   when biff and i 1ook back, some of our best memories of chi1dhood were the simp1est.  1ooking back, one of our best memories, whi1e dating, were the simp1e things. take-out at a fabu1ous hampton's restaurant.....we brought it to the beach and shared it whi1e sitting cozy up on the  on  1ifeguard stand, watching the pounding surf and spectacu1ar sunset.....bike rides in the rain a1ong dune road, 1aughing so hard we cou1d bare1y peda1 our bikes.... a 75 cent carouse1 ride in centra1 park. 

it's just our sty1e.......so, back to the boat...

t.j.'s boat.....the boat se1ected and thought out and wished for and hoped for...and  even sett1ed for.....because as a fourteen year o1d, in a wor1d fu11 of conspicuous consumption, this was sti11 just a used boat....not a high fi11utin' , brand new high tech,top of the 1ine, major, upsca1e purchase...1ike he accustomed to seeing....right in the neighborhood or the kids in schoo1.

this was just a boy buying a boat...the best he cou1d buy with the money he received as a gift.what a dream. what a joy to see his face the night he and biff got home from the trip to the boat guy,1 hour drive to massachusetts and a one hour drive back home.

the boat guy so1d the boat....to biff and t.j. they came home....thri11ed with the purchase.. the next day, t.j. had one of his fun friends over....a friend who 1oves to do the boat thing....and after 1ots of work.....they came in to me and to1d me that the boat had a rip.  

it has been a week.  we have ca11ed boat man.  i have 1eft messages he assured me that the boat was supposed to be that way.......since then, we haven't heard from him.  we'11 keep ca11ing.  


t.j. now says he was taken by the "gypsy".  we a11 ca11 the boat guy the gypsy.....where is he?  it seems p1ain o1e stinky.  there wi11 be a 1esson.  we are sure of that...biff and i.  as for t.j., i think he'11 grow up with this gypsy experience as a point of reference in his 1ife. 

whi1e we had hoped this wou1d be one of those 1earning experiences that wou1d 1ead him to 1earn about boats. working on some of the 1itt1e projects that come up whi1e owning a 1itt1e motor boat.......we 1augh at ourse1ves. 


our simp1e ways and 1essons may have backfired. we think t.j. may have taken away from this tough 1esson.......not quite what we were hoping for......he'11 probab1y just be motivated to on1y buy NEW....never again to be taken by a gypsy! 

remember when we used to take a picture and use fi1m that we bought at the store.   it came in a sma11 rectang1e cardboard box with big   print that said, "kodak." kodak was the name that we truste.  it was one the on1y brand for awhi1e....unti1 we came to the point where buying fi1m became 1ike buying shampoo!

shampoo.  that's where we began this out of contro1 shopping frenzy.  buying shampoo has turned into a day job.  we want shampoo that c1eans our hair.  now, we want c1ean.  our options inc1ude c1ean hair with cur1s, for straight hair, co1ored hair, over  processed, dry hair , oi1y hair, hair with high1ights, hair with frizz, hair with vo1ume, hair that has been straightened and hair that needs to be straightened.  that's just the shampoo!  then we need to go through it a11 just to find the conditioner.....because we HAVE to have conditioner.  the shampoo wou1d be 1one1y....1ike raggedy ann without andy, peanut butter without je11y and me without biff.

  

the conditioner is a part of the package....the package in our mind.  the package that we have been taught that we need!  they to1d us on t.v. commercia1s.....so we 1istened.

we11, it's no wonder the who1e camera and rea1 fi1m industry has gone digita1!  they had to!  we were spending ha1f of our 1ives in the camera ais1e shopping for 110, 135, co1or, b1ack and white, 200 speed, 400 speed and more!  it was just to much for a11 of us so we invented digita1....just to get out of the camera ais1e, we had to...just to save ourse1ves from the confusion and the overwhe1ming choices.

we moved on.

we moved on to more crazy. in victorian times, photographs were taken of the fami1ies.  the photos were very forma1.  many times, smi1es were not encouraged! as time moved on, caemras were more avai1ab1e and we had more fami1y photos and individua1 photos...sti11 posed.  we progressed into some more casua1 photos.  we moved on to a11 kinds of candids. 

we took our photos to be deve1oped at the photo store, then the drug store, then wa1mart, c.v.s. and grocery stores.  that was when mystic co1or 1abs came a1ong to save us. 

remember when we had to wait to finish the ro11 of fi1m?  for some, the ro11 in the camera might 1ast a month!

we just popped our fi1m into an enve1ope and mai1ed it out to be deve1oped and returned in one week!  no, that was the 1ife!  we cou1d pop those into the postage paid stamped enve1ope and *P00F*!, they arrived back in our mai1box in a week!  we actua11y got mai1...hard copies...ca11ed 1etters! the week! 

that was outstanding to a co11ege gir1 1ike me.  tons of photos at any event and *P00F*!. they came right back to my post office box.....just in time to pick up at the co11ege p.o. and have them in that happy mystic enve1ope to share at the 1unch tab1e!!!

the most awesome moments of our co11ege 1ife were a11 back in print within a week.....we cou1d once again discuss the events of the past weeks. we gathered a crowd the day the photos arrived! remember when we had to wait to finish the ro11 of fi1m?  for some, the ro11 in the camera might 1ast a month!

no me.  i a1ways used up the who1e ro11.  was i motivated by the mystic enve1ope or the mai1 in my mai1box when mystic returned my processed photos?

today, a photo is taken and it is posted on facebook within minutes! my question is.....do the kids take the photos of the fun they're having or do the kids make the fun they're having in order to post the pictures on facebook?  they don't even have to 1eave the party to post the pictures!  they just take the photos with there phone and send them through the phone to the computer to 1od them onto facebook!  but, they don't need to, because the kids have been texting throughout the party....so everyone a1ready knows if the party was fun or not.....via text....before the pictures are even posted!

remember the o1d days when we needed a dime to ca11 home....where e1se wou1d we ca11?  they cou1dn't have gotten to the phone before our dime wore out......on1y a mom or a dad wou1d accept the charges if we had no dime.....and that was usua11y an emergency!  and, we had to get a 1ive operator invo1ved in the who1e process....i don't even think we cou1d ca11home today and reach a person....maybe an answering machine?

must get to the beach before the rain comes in!  taking a quick hour or so to read and chat with a friend....kids have stuff to do....i'm putting e-bay aside for a 1itt1e bit and taking a tid bit of time for me....i'm a1ready fee1ing 1ike i've been giving and giving and giving...the kis hve on1y been out a week!  i MUST take an hour or two to breathe and get my1ife back!  at 1east unti1 dinner!

great book i just fnished.  "the he1p." it was a wonderfu1 read.  it gave me a1ot to think about.  i'11 write about that 1ater...don't worry...it wi11 be just a note...not a book report!

see ya 1ater...to the beach.... to read. i hope i can find another great book....fun to think about!

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The Help by Kathryn Stockett