Daylight Savings AND snow?

November 9th in Connecticut?

A week and a day after Halloween.....

White with a hint of blue....and the ceiling with the palest blue...like a summer porch.

I painted the vanity, did the top with a mosaic of blue, green and white sea glass....the sink is like clam shell.

Painting the bathroom ....2nd coat...on the ceiling, the walls....and the tile floor!

Daisy on Daylight Savings Time.....loyal and loving all day and all night!

Fitzy at the end of a busy day....

my mom loved these berries on a wreath at Thanksgiving.

Berries on bushes...November beauty and the beach.

To the beach with Daisy and Fitz....they had some romping and rolling on the beach, a swim and a very long walk on. leashes ....just in case.

A morning treat ...coffee made byr someone else... before walking the dogs.

Our hour

Sleep. That's the greatest gift of daylight savings time. We just don't love having our days end so early.  It's a wierd change. It's hard to adjust to the darkness. The days fly by. The night seems to begin....after lunch. Darkness.  I crave sunshine...always. We'll adjust. We will all adjust.  For now, I'm just happy for the hour.

Homecoming

It's late. We're all ready for bed. Tonight we're all grateful for daylight savings time and and extra hour of sleep.  Life is busy as we all know. We've gone from Halloweenmania last weekend with Election Day off from school to this weekend filled with hustling and bustling for the homecoming dance. Now that everyone is safely tucked into bed I can breathe again.  

T.J. barely acknowledged the crazy hype of the homecoming happenings.  He brought his money to school  to purchase a ticket to the dance. After school, he said that his freshman friends had all decided not to go. It didn't seem to be a big deal.  Lots of the boys' moms had no idea about the dance.  It may have slipped by us had we not had our social director, Grace keeping us on our toes. When T.J. came home with the news that the guys had decided to pass. Grace was not surprised.  Last year the freshman boys didn't bother either. It's a guy thing. My mom thing was relief.  T.J. has to be up and out early to get to sailing tomorrow. Thankfully, he was just as happy to be home tonight.

This week has been a blur...Biff had travel here and there,...I had it noted in my phone calendar. At one point during the week when we spoke I was surprised to hear that he was on his way home. His plans had changed the here and there of the travel and my brain was still in the here without making it to the there where he had already been.  Did you get that? I'm still not sure where he was! JK as Grace says.  "Just Kidding"....kind of.

My plans changed this week too.  My new blog group was meeting Thursday night. T.J. arrived home from school with headache, sore throat and ready for bed. I wasn't far off from that either.  Biff hadn't arrived home.  I saw my library blogging friend on his way to the gathering.  I let him know that Murphy's Law had just come into play.  I had to go with that intuitive feeling, be home. Be quiet. I did. T.J. slept through til the morning. Me too. Grace went to sleep early. Biff was exhausted. We were a family who needed peace, quiet and sleep.

Quiet is good.  We all need it.  Some days I crave it when I'm least likely to make it happen.  I try to stay tuned in to my own needs.  Sometimes as a mom it seems to elude me. But there are moments that can save me.  My ever peaceful Maxwell House moment....even though that's not my brand...I remember the commercial. That quiet moment sitting with my coffee.  Biff is still not sure whether it's the coffee or the moment that makes my day....I know that it's the moment. 

That quiet moment is like the pulse of the day.  If I get that peace in those few moments, I'm taking care of myself and feel fueled for the rest of the day. Fueled with quiet and calm. Other days are more like chasing that calm.  Days when my life is up to everyone else....even if I try to grab for some control. It's just the ebb and flow, the yin and yang, the black and white ...

So, now I have quiet. It took awhile to get this quiet.  Busy-ness.  Just lots of people to see and places to go and dogs to walk and life to live and E-bay to mail and cough drops to buy and groceries to gather and phones to charge and trash bags to fill and laundry to do and showers to scrub and..........blurrrrrrrr.  Friday T.J. was home sick. Grace home from school and keeping me informed of the plans, changing with every text and phone call. Biff was home. Friday night I began painting a bathroom.  Note to self: keep the black and white kitty outside of the room we're painting.... I painted the whole thing while Biff and T.J. watched a movie. Grace popped in and out with more planning and possibilities. Grace paraded through trying out her heels. We woke up this morning with Daisy's big eyes suggesting it was time to go outside.  Fitz was ready.  Biff made coffee.  

That's when our dance began!  Early this morning. Taking care of life.  Lots of details of life. Things. Stuff. Life. The kinds of things that fill up a day....but when anyone asks what you did today, you can barely answer....unless you go on a roll with stream of consciousness.....until their eyes roll back in their head.  Kind of like when my mom used to give me a blow by blow description of her transactions at the grocery store.  Loved her but couldn't keep it from her that she was boring me to death with details of a bruised tomato!  We laughed about it....but she told me her long, draggy story anyway.  I think we all do it.  Just to validate our pathetic existence up to our elbows in some of the minutae of life.

Isn't that my blog. Oh my gosh,...I have just described my blog. Blah, blah, blah...blog. I love my blog and I want it back...excuse me but Fitzy is gettin into some leftover Halloween candy.  Lots of rustling ....for real. This dog should have been a bomb sniffer. She stopped. It must have been wrappers.  She's already eaten a pumpkin today.....oh, and another lipstick.  It's all a blurrrrrrr.

Fitzy, Fitzy, pumpkin eater! Daisy politely checking out her options.

Pumpkin pickin' Fitz

E-bay reorganization temporarily located at the dining room table.

Halloween pooches!

Daisy sweet Daisy!

Vote!

Here we are. We've made it to the big day! We've made it to Election Day! Hooray! Sadly, I'm not thrilled because I have the right to vote....a true priviledge. I'm delighted to know that we will no longer have to watch these negative advertisements. It's like eating Cheetos. After a million...and one extra Cheeto....I'm just fine without having one for another year or more.

Same is true for these advertisements. The cutting down, dredging up and throwing out every little mistake, misjudgement and family drama makes me depressed. Really, our teens comment on these advertisements and the people who are running our country. It's hard enough for us, with voting priviledges, to see these people on radio, television and print ads for months at a time. It's kind of sad to have our kids see that these adults, who could be role models, are cheaters. liars and spouting polital speak.

Political speak is a little like teen talk. They may be great people who mean the best....they just leave out little details and lie by ommission. As a mom in the "mommy mafia." as our kids call it, we're on to them. Hopefully we think to ask the right questions. Thankfully, there are enough moms and dads around to keep asking.

Last weekend we had some of our favorite kids over. The plans were spontaneous. We knew that our kids wanted to have some fun on mischief night, the night before Halloween. I never even knew about "mischief night"....because either I was such a wonderful child or because Catholic School kids were left out of the loop. After all, the nuns were more concerned with the day after Halloween, All Souls Day....a Holy Day in the Catholic Church. Another sad tidbit....I really thought the day was to recover from our Halloween antics! Don't tell Sr. Maria Nicholas!

As parents, we're not troubled by mischief night with our kids. Their mischief is here in the neighborhood and innocent enough to have our neighbors still willing to hand out candy! That's how we know our kids will keep their "mischief" in line. Candy is a great motivator of behavior. We went out with our little mischief makers in training....while a friend taught them how to create mischief with boundaries. That little training has gone a long way.

Saturday night, one of the moms checked in with me before dropping off her sweet daughter! As we spoke about the get together, it came to our attention that she was lacking one piece of the puzzle....the mischief! We laughed. Her daughter is a good kid. A very good kid. Yet, she failed to mention one little thing. Her mom was o.k. with it....even though she went to Catholic School too!

The only problem that we had with mischief night....which lasted about one half hour....we're lacking bathroom tissue!

Grace and T.J. had the kids back to the house for popcorn and a scary movies. I loved having them. I love the kids being here. Biff and I enjoy our kids and really enjoy their friends. It's so nice to have them. It's nice to get to know all of them. That's all we ever wanted...having a house where everyone's welcome.

The good news...even though the space set up for Grace and T.J.'s friends was quite literally washed away by the flood in April.

Thankfully it works out....they can take over the family room and still have a great time. Thankfully.

who's sweeter than Daisy?

nestled together

Boo and. Daisy.

Snuggled

safe and sound

Here comes the sun!

Out and about

What fun it is to have dogs.  We love all of our animals, but dogs get us out and about!  My mom always used to say, "You never know who you'll meet when you're out and about."  It's true...especially with our dogs.  We walk our dogs in the woods, in town, on the beach, along the road near our home and anywhere that gives us pleasure. 

Somehow, with dogs, people are open to saying hello.  They stop us to ask their names.  They shout out from their passing car,"THOSE DOGS ARE BEAUTIFUL!" They pull over to the side of the road to ask their ages.  Once in awhile, we'll meet a dog kook who has a litany of information to share....the proper leash, having 2 dogs, Golden Retriever history, their dog's issues whether they be food related, allergic reactions, social anxiety...whatever!  

You never know who you'll meet or what tid bits (of information since sometimes it seems to be an unspoken rule not to offer their doggie a treat...without asking since they (the doggie) may be dieting, on a strict food plan or like Fitzy, the dog may want to follow us home for more treats!

You never know what friends you'll meet.  We have dog friends. Friends who love our dogs. Friends who like to meet for dog playdates and other dog friends who walk on the same schedule. Kids who live nearby who are entertained by our dogs. 

We met a dog friend of the two legged variety while shopping one night.  Like long lost friends, we chatted about our dogs and their latest adventures. We used to meet Lucy, the German Shepherd, in early morning as we meandered along the trails in the woods. They moved last spring and now they're no longer on the same route.  They had big news. They  adopted a new dog and named it Ricky. Get it? Lucy and Ricky! Gotta love dog people.  Really, with dogs, you have to have a sense of humor.

Thanks to Fitzy's frequent getaways to their house, we were grateful that they were of the nice dog people variety.  It was like the call of the wild  when it came to Fitz and the love of that family....really the delicious trash stored at their back door....but Fitzy, ever the actress could show affection to gain love rather than a scolding. Lucy seemed to be thrilled to have company arrive on the scene.  Lucy's owner was understanding and always gave a call to let us know Fitz's whereabouts.  Some days, we would see Fitzy escorted home in luxury in the back seat of a blue Volvo ...talk about nice dog friends.

  

Today, as we approached the woods, a lovely woman stopped her car for a moment to pet the dogs.  She was loving their gentle nature. She had no food in her car so Fitz was on her best behavior!She told me about their family days with German Shepherds.  

This morning we met Cay, a lovely woman of 76 years who was delighted to take a moment to stop her car, pet the dogs and chat.  She loved their gentle nature. She had no food in her car so Fitz was on her best behavior. She had just had a piano lesson.  She said she wants to keep trying new things in life.

She talked about her age.  At 76, she wanted to stay active and attempting some of the things that she never had the opportunity to do in her life.

As she pet the dogs, we laughed at their delight. She asked about their age and their names amd their personalities. She was such a lovely lady with a calm, sweet voice that the dogs sat quietly as she spoke.  We talked about our town. She has lived here for almost 50 years. Cay talked about her late husband, her 5 children, her life growing up and some of her travels. She told me about her lunches with her kindergarten friends that still get together for lunch once a month. They call themselves "the lunch bunch,"  

We may have chatted for 15 minutes, maybe a little more. I was just out to get in our walk...just the dogs and I....out for exercise, fresh air and some time in the woods enjoying the beauty of the fall colors.

I got much more than that.  I met a lovely woman of another generation who was interesting and interested.  She had a different perspective at her age.  She was with it. She had the confidence and strength of a woman who had rich experiences in her life.  It was a pleasure to spend time with someone who has lived and seen so much. 

Cay changed my day. She opened my eyes. She shared. She smiled. She laughed. She told some stories about her life and family. 

We said our goodbyes as it began to rain. Daisy, Fitzy and I walked into the woods. I was filled with a new perspective of a woman of my mom's generation. She changed my day. It's wonderful to step out of our own world once in awhile and hear about someone elses.  As mom said, "You never know who you'll meet when you're out and about." Thanks to our dogs, we meet lots of nice folks.

Indian summer day for the dogs

Fall...Indian summer in Connecticut

Today in Connecticut

Fall walking

Indian summer day for the dogs

Today in Connecticut

Fall...Indian summer in Connecticut

Kisses

Halloween.  Buy candy. Check. Why do I do that to myself? Every year it's the same.  Candy. I'm out shopping in mid October. I see the Halloween displays everywhere. I am absolutely horrified that these stores are beginning holidays earlier and earlier. I don't remember when I first saw Halloween in the stores this year. Who knows? When we were on the cape? Not so crazy.  Yet, somewhere in that mid October moment I think.....better get it now. 

Why. I know that before the end of the week I will dip in....just for a treat.  I don't even keep this kind of stuff in the house.  So, if I buy it early I know to hide it.  But isn't that ironic....I am the one hiding it.  Yup.  I hide it well. I also remember where it is....within moments I'm crinkling the bag and opening it even if it takes teeth.  I'm not proud.  By this point, I have to have it. I'm like Fitzy.  I would scale tall buildings to get to it.  I may not invade neighbors' barbeques like Fitzy but I get at that candy. Did I mention that I buy the kind that I like but would never justify buying otherwise.

Well, this year the plan was right on target. Candy. Check. Hide. Forgot where....very unusual.  How have I come up with it now?  The week before Halloween?  I put all of the candy, still in grocery bags, in the garage.

I was outside the other day with the doggies. Fitzy is now on a very long training leash.  Hah? Training? Surely we jest.  I was organizing (don't laugh...I need encouragement, not mockery!) some of our garage obstacle course.  While in up to my elbows, I turned when I heard a rustling of plastic.  

I dropped my Rubbermaid tub.  I ran. It was Fitzy, snoot first in the tub filled with Halloween goodies. I pulled her back. I scolded her.  "NO," I barked. "LEAVE IT!" 

The good news.  Fitz didn't get to all of it.  There was more for me.  I didn't have to rip the bag open with my teeth! Oh....I did have a few Hershey's kisses....and took one out for later.  

Political speak

This political speak makes me laugh...this has absolutely nothing to do with the my political opinions, likes or bias. This is fabulous political speak. I fills my love of linguistics and semantics. It's fun to close your eyes and just hear the words on there own.  We laugh out loud when this ad comes on...the whole family laughing....it's worth it!

By the way,  I think this is a clever tool for discussing politics, communication, lying by ommission with kids.....it gets everyone thinking.  This debate has given our family many opportunities for learning!!!

Quotes

"Fear not those who argue but dodge" -Marie von Ebner Eschenbach

This made me laugh...especially while we are living through so many political debates these days.

In Connecticut, there is and advertisement that speaks to us. In this case, it is audio playing from a debate of the 2 candidates just days earlier. I have to share. Not because of my political views, but the reality of politics....it all sounds the same at this pre-election time of year. Pay no attention to Republican vs. Democrat, Woman vs. man or the issues. Just hear what I hear at the end of every voting season.....this ad says it all...generic political speak that we all must endure!

dog days in the fall

fall days

looking out our window

learning new things everyday

I finally figure out how to upload pics from my phone to my blog. That will be fun for me...maybe you too. It can keep the blog current with his and pieces of Ralph life. Now that's what I call progress...my progress. Let's remember that one year ago I had very little computer savvy. This is leaps and bounds for littlemarymixup. Now I can go to sleep....saith some of the animal.farm nestled all.snug in Daisy's bed...next to our bed. Sleep is good...I forget that sometimes. Good night and God Bless you as we say every night.

Daisy and Boo...bedtime.

life at home

Monday Moments

It's a beautiful morning on the Connecticut shoreline! Grace has sauntered up the stairs of her rumbling yellow schoolbus, Daisy and Fitzgerald have had their moment outside. Jinx has gone trotting off to collect more chipmunks.....he's been stacking them up like cord wood ever since the new Kitty,Webster a.k.a. Webby a.k.a. Thomas a.k.a. Boo, arrived on the scene.

Where's T.J.? I've just dropped him off at his orthodontist appointment. Now I can breathe. I woke up in time to start the morning dancing of our stars. I've successfully woken Grace, made lunch X 2, walked the dogs, woke up T.J....all timed just right to get T.J. to his appointment! We were in the car and on our way when I became aware that I was still wearing my soft cotton pajamas with a hefty sweatshirt to top off my ensemble. T.J. was the first to take note of my attire. He quietly suggested that I wait in the carand perhaps even listen to my book on tape. That kid's gonna do well someday. He offered his suggestion along with a mini-benefit statement to seal tbe deal. He's a teen, so I embarrass him on a daily basis!

T.J. strolled out of the office and pleaded for breakfast on the go now that he had been freed from the prodding and poking of dental tools. We went for some Sinking Donuts drive-thru. Finally, I had my coffee, T.J. got to school with his late pass from the orthodontist and I got home to start MY day. Just a minute, I have to feed the dogs. Oh...then I have to giveaway them a good long walk and then it will be my turn. Wait! First I have to change out of my pajamas.

celebrations

Happy Anniversary Jane and Jim! Biff's mom and dad are celebrating their 50 something anniversary today! I'm grateful for their loving marriage. After all, Biff must have learned.from them. Biff the love of my life. And we've only shared 18 years together....it goes by quickly when you're in love. We're not perfect. Either is life. There are life's ups and downs and in btweens to deal with. We do it together in marriage and as partners. Life is better with Biff!

MOM. Today would be my mom's 86th birthday. We all talked about Gramma today. We have great memories. I felt as if she was near while we were up in Boston. So many memories of times spent with mom when she visited our little family! Memories to be treasured. She feels like my own angel...but I wish that she could be right here with us...sharing our breakfasts, beach days and laughter. I miss that..everyday...I would love to hear her voice.

She called me "Punkin"....and "littlemarymixup" as she gave me that look with her sparkling blue eyes. She called Grace and T.J. sweetheart and honey and rascals...and once, she called them " naughty"...a word they had never known...they were almost 3 and 4.....oh how they laughed at her funny word.  She surrendered and laughed along with them.  She loved them so.  They felt that love.  They could recognize her nonjudgemental, accepting way. She loved them like crazy...no matter what.  They could feel that love and they were sure of her love.  It was safe, warm and comfortable.

There's no one in the world like a mom. That love goes deep. The bother goes deep and the laughs, stories and memories go deep! I am grateful for the times we had. We had a special relationship. A mother daughter team who shared lots of good times and good friends.  My mom.  I miss her everyday. If she were here today, I would have bought her a Pepperidge Farm vanilla layer cake!  I would have told her that I baked it myself! We would have laughed til we cried...and after our hysterics, we would explain our long story. 

I'm laughing with mom now! Thanks mom for making birthdays so fun. Love your mom.  Say "I loveyou" often!  If your mom's not here anymore, share stories with your kids...and your friends who loved her..or didn't ever get to meet her. Those moms of ours made us who we are.  Treasure the goodness and let go of the other stuff. Savor the love and cherish the time together.  Now it's just a dream...it seems so real...and then....I wake up. She's not here. So we have to let her live on....through us, our children, through stories and memories.

Boston

Boston. Boston. Boston. We love it here. It was home for a few years. Funny how a place becomes your home...slowly. It takes awhile to make a place our own. We were excited to move here...as a new family...making our own way.

Both of us,Biff and I, are loyal to our family. We truly love our family...all of our family...with pokes and pinches and peccadilloes ...one and all...we love each one...with quirky bits and funny folks, family is where we come from. Family made us who we are...our place in our family......our individual relationships with each one in the family, the parenting style, the nature and nurture, love, guidance and support of our family helped to create us....for better or for worse......through thick and through thin...good, bad and ugly moments.....we love our family. They came as a part of our package. We were literally delivered to our very own family.

So here we are....just south of Boston...visiting. This is the place we chose to start to grow our own family. We may be a part of a whole.....with a variety of personalities, partnerships, personal styles, beliefs and even baggage..a wonderful mix of love is what we take from them all ...to venture off on our own.

This is where our family became US. Just us. We were away from family, in proximity but not in our hearts. We became our own unit. We had each other. We built our universe. We learned on our own. We were stronger because of our time here. It was our time to be who we would be.....as a family.....of three,  then four.

We liked us together. We had become who we were....as our own family. We learned what we wanted for us. We created the family for ourselves that was the right fit for us...for the family we were growing. We knew what what parenting styles and couple queues we would take from our families on our own trip and other bits we were sure to leave behind. We had our family support and love. We found our footing. We stumbled and ran and tripped and swam. We were committed to keep working on what worked for us...as our own family.

It was our turn to be just us...growing into a family. With love and laughter and lots of fun.

Now we're back to visit again. We're with our friends who were learning right alongside us. We we were finding our own way. We had challenges and growth as a couple.....as parents........deeply in love...despite the chaos of our new babies and our life far from family.

Now, our babies are 14 and 15. We're. Still finding our way. We thank God for our commitment to each other and our family. Our kids have no idea of the sweet memories of newness and fear and joy. They see it as a fun place to visit...with treasured friends who lived through those times with us.....those everyday days....every step of the way.

This place was our home...still, our roots are deep. This is where we began. This is where we learned to be our own family for ourselves. It made us stronger. We became us. We are us most of all. That is a gift. I'm grateful.

Ily

Biff and I had been the road warriors...no distance too great for a family event. No time too short to get there...for whatever event. We loved that life. We loved our family had proved we would be the ones to be there. We were both the kind of family who showed up. We loved our family ...we would do anything to be there for them.

Though we were a longer distance from extended family...when we started out here, we were with them in our hearts and phone calls and memorieswith love...for all of them. After those years, it became clear that it was our turn....to learn about being here for us. It's special to visit where we began.  Precious memories and places make it all so clear.  We were here for that time to learn how to be us.