I did.  I used the loud voice. The desperate mother voice.

 

We stand on the sidelines. Parents. Moms and dads. We all have someone we love playing out on the field. We all  love and care deeply for each of our children. We stand watching our team...through the good, the bad and the ugly. Players in the game, players on the sidelines, on the field...defense, offense, goalies, middies.... penalties, players down, time outs, goals, missed goals. 

 

As we stand on the sidelines, we all have one thing in common....we love our boys and we want them to play their best and win the game. Each of us knows how much they have invested in the game...the practices, the training, the years of dedication.  We also know our own boy. We know how desperately they want to win. We know that this has been a tough year for these guys. They have new players, a new coach  and they've had disappointments. They keep working. The team plays well. Sadly, we have seen their opponents play better...or luckier...or.....

 

So, on the sidelines, we want them to win...not just for the win but for the spirit of each boy who works so hard. We know our boy. We know how hard he will take it if the team doesn't win. We know what happens on the ride home...the disappointment of his own plays, disappointment of the team, feeling bad that the team has disappointed the coach....overall misery for all.

 

We know our boys. We feel their pain. They are big guys now....taller, stronger, tougher. They play hard. They do their best. To us, they are still our little guys. They may have deeper voices. They may have bigger, smellier feet. They may get sweatier. The may yell louder. Their lacrosse sticks are longer. But, they are our boys. We know them better than anyone. We know their ups, their downs and their in betweens. We remember how they played as toddlers, we remember their time-outs and we remember their tantrums. We see all of this as they play on the field. We see it in their faces when they get a penalty and when they miss a goal..We know that they still like peanut butter and jelly, only on whole wheat.

Moms and dads care. Moms and dads get excited as we watch the games. Some may shout out plays or yell to the ref. while others, like me, cheer for our team. I call out their names! I shout out the name of  the team! The other moms and dads do the same. Sometimes I  do my loudest whistle. I yell DEFENSE! YOU GOT IT! YOU CAN DO IT!  and more. So do the other moms. We stomp our feet on the grass. We turn away. We shout some more. 

Almost every one of us have heard those words...before the game, during the game or after the game. We may even hear our kids beg of us in their sleep. Their view of their world. T.J. can only hear my voice out on the field. Mike's mom only hears her voice. Grace heard only one thing at her last game...it was when I called her name for another player....same uniform...same ponytail...same pink goggles and a random happy color stick. No matter where, when or how....they do not want to be different. They want to fit it.. They do not want embarrassment. It's all about them. Life. Their life. The way they see it. The teenage struggle.throughout time. They think it is only their struggle.

 

Still on the sidelines, we talk about our families.We compare our kids stories from school. We laugh. We see them miss a goal and we cringe. We root some more and try to will their ball into the net. We scream. We pout. We talk amongst ourselves. We talk about our boys. We talk about school. We compare stories. We talk about the royal wedding. 

 

Parents on the sidelines....it's a connection like no other. We know the boys play on the same team. We know they are friendly We have known many of them for years...if only at the sidelines and Stop and Shop or a second grade field trip to the farm. We know how they play. We know where they live. We know their siblings. We know there will always be superstars. We know there will be kids who struggle. We know there are some who do it because there older brothers or sisters play.We know the parents who live through their kids. We know there are players who give it their all. We know which players lose their temper.We know which players hog the ball.

T.J was on his way  back out to the field. He ran towards our gaggle of parents who had been cheering our hearts out. He ran towards me..I smiled the smile of a proud mom...I wanted to give him support....by giving him that motherly nod of approval. .He continued towards me like a football player en route to a touchdown....he had his helmet on...he had his mouthpiece in....he had his stick in his hands... like a weapon? He looked fierce!

 

No, he looked fiercely at me....he spewed through his mouthpiece, "DO NOT CHEER! STOP".....and he was gone. Out on the field. In the game..Did I mention that he had eye black on his cheeks.... that somehow it looked like war paint?

 

We continued our chatter on the sidelines. We laughed at our teenagers'  rules. They really believe that we should listen to their rules. We call out the wrong names. We cheer at the wrong time.We cheer too loud. We take pictures. We call out the name of the town when we should call out the name of the school. We don't know the game.We just don't get it. I continued cheering. I stopped the whistles. I still cheered. The other moms and I felt as superstitious. Just like players in the big league....and our boys have superstitions.... .we thought when we cheered they got the goals. Maybe? Either way, we know they need us.

 

One More Time

Grace's masterpiece for Earth Day. Thanks to Starbucks, I had a free Earth Day coffee because I brought in my travel mug.

I guess I should thank my Cake Boss for this groovy cake. Oh wait. Grace and T.J don't like when I use that word. Groovy. Groovy. Groovy. Groovy. Groovy. Groovy. Nee-ner-nee-ner- nee-ner!

Tug of War

Our dogs love a good tug of war after retrieving sticks from the water. Growling and gripping the sticks with their white teeth, they dance back and forth in the wet sand. I love to see them play.

There are plenty of "tug of wars" with Grace and T.J., who are growing up with feelings, opinions and new ideas of their own. Just as Biff and I do our best to teach and expose our kids to the world, our kids do their teenage "job" by challenging our opinions, ideas and boundaries...within reason. Some days there are more challenges than others!

This week was a very low key vacation. We enjoyed our time away. We were home in time for lacrosse practices and games. We had some time to relax at home. We were not off by plane to a faraway paradise, Disneyworld or foreign country.

We are blessed with many gifts. Our children are blessed to live a wonderful life with an abundance of love, family, friends and new experiences.

As anyone living day to day with teenagers knows, it is essential to have a sense of humor. To live with people who doubt my sense of style, facial expressions, timing,old school words and worries, choice of dogs, elocution, work and prioities...a sense of humor is not optional!

Ironic. While discussing vacations of "everyone else," each child had plenty to say. The following quotes really came out of the mouths of our babes..one from each child...please remember these words before reading:

1. Teenagers.
2. Irony.
3. Drama
4. Violin.

Quote #1. "Mom...do you think we could go to Australia? I really want to go. Seriously, we've never been anywhere. Do you think it's possible? Really...please tell me because I'd like to think I could have some decent childhood memories "

2. How come everyone else can go to Disneyworld, like, every year... and I've NEVER been even once? Nevermind now...it's too late...it doesn't even matter now. My childhood's practically over anyway! I'll just have to take MY kids!"

For real. Really. Welcome to my world!

Look Who I've Become!

The Devil You Know....

Yup. It's true. the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. I held out. I gave in. I sold out. I put up. I got down. I was fed up.....that's how it happened.

Today's beautiful weather of blue skies and sunshine started the whole thing. I was out and about early this morning to help a friend. Windows down, sunroof open, music on, Daisy in the back with the wind blowing her lovely golden furry locks...

Then....I noticed my goldilocks. NOT! Just one glance...that's all it took. One glance in the rearview mirror...and I knew I was a "Glamour Don't." My hair....although holding it's own in the golden department....desperately needed some lovin'...and quick!

It was time to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. But how? What's a girl to do? Who could I turn to?

I know. I know. I said I wouldn't go back. I was desperate though. I had to. HAD TO. No question.

I did it. I acted like a grown up. I stopped in to see if my ex-hairdresser would take me in ....in off the street...for a cut and squeeze in a touch of color to hide my grays. I admit it. I hit bottom. I reached an all-time low ...I know. But come on man...I needed something...anything. I was in rough shape. I brought cash baby. This was serious stuff. I had to make it work.

My hairdresser was happy to see me. I didn't have to grovel or beg. I just had to sit in the chair...and look at myself in the mirror to see what I had become. That was punishment enough!

Hairy Situation

Do I have to beg? Well, maybe.

My Cake Boss

Grace was inspired...all day she hounded me to buy the ingredients for her cake idea. I did what my cake boss wanted. This is her tie dye cake!

Who's The Boss?

Cake Boss. Grace had the TV Show on today. Buddy from Carlo's Bakery in Hoboken, N.J. is. a riot. Cakes...the whole show is about the creativity and challenges of making cakes to order. Grace loves the show! She has us all hooked. It's an Italian family busiiness. We love the family and we love their accents even more.

The show was on when Biff came home....he got hooked.
T.J. walked in after lacrosse practice...he got hooked. We all had a fun time....AND we found a show that we all like!

Their creativity inspired us. Grace made a cake this afternoon. and I got out some pain and canvas for fun. I painted some florals and Grace painted a daisy. Family fun
....like the old days!

Who's Paranoid?

Why? Me? Am I paranoid? I'm just concerned that I'll never, never, stop itching and scratching and rubbing and OH! Did I give it to you too? Grace is concerned that I touched the steering wheel in the car. T.J. is worried about the outbreak of poison ivy in the family. Cooking. Washing. Enough already! Or is it? Maybe I am paranoid. Stop looking at me. Are you looking at me?

Enough Already

My kids are afraid to touch me. I'm terrified I'll pollute Biff with Poison Ivy. Could it be possible for me to give it to the dogs? Or cats? What if they all gang up on me? We know what fear and paranoia can do to people! What if this itching never stops? This is payback for making light of other people's (Biff) poison ivy affliction. That'll do it.

Drop Me A Line

Poking along the quieti roads on the cape gave us all the thrill of what's to come in just a few short months....Cape Cod summer. We stopped to see the sailing club....boats are covered, buoys are hanging, the sailing shack is locked up tight. I can imagine all of what's to come

Quiet roads will be filled with summer people. The hustle and bustle have begun. Landscapers, painters, builder's, small shops are doing prep work for summer. What's not to love?

Isn't That A Fine How Do You Do

Springing Spring

"Red" Again!

And again and again and again! Biff's good friend Mike owned a Ford dealership.Mom talked to Mike for advice on her purchase. After benefitting from all of his information, mom asked if he had a little Ford Escort so she could buy the car from him....letting him benefit on her purchase. Mike checked into his stock on the car, called her back. He shared all of the details and finally the color, "Calypso Green!" Hearing her disappointment with the less than regal color, Mike burst enthusiastically, "Grace, come on...it'll keep you young!"

We've all had some good "Calypso Green" laughs over the years.

Another "Red!"

We're beginning to wonder if Mom's trying to let us know she's here for us!

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Lots of work is being done at this time of year to get boats ready to float, houses perked up, stores and restaurants re-opened. I love watching it all ...springing into action and preparing for summer!

When Opportunity Knocks

Sell the hand made monkey door stops. Necklaces. Bracelets. The sales crew is out on the roadtaking pre- season orders. The business is growing! The sales force is recommending pre-season orders and customers orders are encouraging! The kids have a great meet and greet routine ...customers are impressed! Beautiful to see these kids cold calling with confidence!

On The Cape

Life's A Beach!

This may not be down south and we may not be barefoot, in bathing suits but we're at the beach soaking up the delicious sunshine.

We had dreams. We had hoped for a vacation with a tad more southern exposure and warmer weather .... but we're here! Massachusetts. Spring vacation...visiting friends.
Biff headed home earlier so. T.J., Grace and I drove to the beach to take a good walk on one of our favorite beaches . Spectacular sunshine and sweeping white swirls across the sky, breakers crashing, sea glass, wishing stones, myriad dogs, families, friends all out walking fthe long stretch of beach.

We love visiting our friends! Its a gift to have time with good people and a change of scenery. This scenery is familiar to us. Each time we come back to the beach where we once walked our jogstroller babies, it takes me back in time.

We started our family here. We lived here. We found our way. We learned here how to be our best for our children. Here we learned to do what's best for our family. We created balance. We enjoyed and the power of gratefulness. We found that our ups and downs teach us lessons and give us strength. Priorities were defined and refined as we grew into ourselves. We lived each day to the fullest and as best we could. We found that we happiest when we keep it simple. Our kids are learning that here as well.

Keeping it simple is easiest at the beach. Life's. a beach!

Boston

Fun with friends. let the games begin.

Baldy

T.J. had his head shaved by a friend. His friend posted the photos on facebook to show off his inner barber.Grace commente,"concentration camp" I'm just happy that T.J.has his ears in tact.

Blue Red

We texted our "Red" photo to Claire yesterday. Here's what she sent us today. Is grammar sending a message?

"Red"

Grace saw "Red" today while we were out and about. She took this photo and texted it to her older cousin, Claire.

Claire had the priviledge of driving "Red" for years..."Red" had been my mom's car for years. She called it her chariot. This little car travelled many miles on all kinds of adventures. Certainly much smaller and simpler than any of her past chariots, she adjusted to it easily as it became her trusted companion. Like any good companions, they took good care of each other.

I loved to see my mom drive up the driveway, greeted by Daisy, Grace and T.J. giving hugs and kisses while peeking in the windows to spot what surprises Gramma had in store for them! (Daisy too!)

It was fun for me and Biff when "Gramma" came to visit. We had lots of laughs together...fun conversation...love and some sweet spoiling of our kids.....long chatty breakfasts with bakery surprises from home..... delightful dinners with a little extra dessert, newspapers and magazines catching us up on life's events... just family time. Easygoing family time. Comfortable for us all...more comfortable than with almost anyone else.

In "Red's" later years, mom wasn't able to get out while recuperating from a broken hip..not once, but twice. Mom slowed down...only physically...while her trusty companion found a new purpose. Claire, college bound, drove her Gramma's wheels off to college.......where "Gramma's car was dubbed "Red"....

It was a gift for Claire to have such a priviledge nestled upon her...knowing her gramma's love of adventure and roadtrips...and her nickname from Biff, "Wheels Gramma"... Claire drove Gramma's car and slowly, it became hers.

A gift in many ways. For my mom....Claire was driving "Gramma's car" and it was helping her first grandchild. Having Claire drive kept the car running well. A gift for us all....no one had to say the dreaded words to our aging mom, "it's time to stop driving". Claire was borrowing her car until.....

Today I drove with Grace to Boston....Grace in the driver's seat....an eager student....the next generation. What a joy to give her the gift of confident driving....and for me, our time in the car together just as I had with my mom. "Red" was one of the family. Learning to drive is a big family right of passage. We've all had it instilled in us...driving is a priviledge and a chance for adventure!

Thanks to "Gramma wheels!"

Mellow Yellow

Forsythia ...another sign that Spring is in the air. Today's rain and gray skies make us all want to crawl under the covers.....all except the dogs. In between being nestled in their cozy dog beds, they're begging to be outdoors. I've just taken them far enough for us to get soaked...and back indoors.

Grace and friend are at the library this afternoon. T.J.'s lacrosse practice has been cancelled and he's at a friend's house. Biff has dinner with a customer. I'm going to hear the author of SMASHED at our bookstore. Somedays are like this.

Poison Ivy?

Really. For all of my joyous singing about spring, this is what I get? Pardon me while I laugh...at myself. Itch. Scratch. Scratch. Itch. Itch. Scratch. All of this because of one darling daffodil that got me outdoors! Somehow that perky little yellow charmer now looks like a dastardly devil daffodil. How quickly things change. Itch. Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. Itch.

"I'm Awake"

After turning on the lights, a few gentle calls to wake Grace and T.J. on this damp, dreary morning I plodded down the stairs, headed for the temperature controls and cranked up some heat. Making lunch was next... followed by a follow up wake up, hurry up call. I heard rustling in T.J's room. Check. "Grace...are you up?" "I'm awake!" ...the words were all too familiar as I flashed back to my high school mornings. I followed that voice.....Grace was under the covers when my urgent plea shocked her from slumber. One thing for sure , you can't pull the wool over my eyes... or the covers! I've been there, done that! The world has come a long way but some things never change.

Dirt Flirt

You Dirty Dog!

Yesterday Fitz was feeling all flirty dog while wearing my lipstick...today she's "digging" the dirty dog smutty look.

Daisy Days

Daisy keeps me company while I get down and dirty doing a little spring cleanup. Good company.

One In A Million

One! One perky bright yellow daffodil is all we have so far! Words can't describe the delight we're feeling. We look forward to so much more. Daffodils, crocuses, day lillies, sedum, grasses, irises......lilacs and grass! That daffodil is the first burst of spring...just the beginning...newness...life...hope....possibilities. Both physically, spiritually and metaphorically, we look forward to the growth and goodness.

Smooch

Not me. The pooch. Again. Fitz is all dolled up today. It's no special occasion. Maybe she needed a little something to give her a little lift on a gloomy Monday morning. Sadly, it was my favorite lipstick color.

It wasn't Chanel or even L'Oreal. It was Cover Girl and precious to me. My "Ice Blue Pink" has been discontinued which made me want to cry! My lipstick addiction is serious. What's a girl to do?

Amazing Race Sunday

This show fuels my travel bug! I love seeing the world as the teams travel around the world. What an awesome adventure. We all have our own paths for adventure. Travelling anywhere, meeting people from different cultures, different backrounds and lifestyles. We share so many similarities. It's "amazing!"

The Good Old Days

Kind of. As Biff and I roller bladed alongside each other, we talked about our early dating days when he taught me how to roller blade. Those dates roller blading were a continuation of our skating dates....we really had fun seeing each other in new places and trying out new things....like roller blading.

Today felt just like the old days. One thing HAS changed drastically. Not the laughter, not the respect, not the love or sense of humor....that's all gotten even better. What's different? The hair peeking out. from the back of Biff's helmet, is gray. Really. I never noticed!

Coffee to go

Grace and I went shopping this afternoon. It took some time to get ready. I spent some time cleaning out the car....while the dogs were in it.

Car mats out. Candy wrappers tossed. Water bottles removed. Coffee cups out. I swept out the crumbs, fur and sand. My Dylan's Canidy Bar mug...I put on top of the car since it was full of coffee and didn't want Fitz to drink it. Any other spot...she'd get it. Only experience can teach some things.

After clearing the car, Grace pleaded with me to be the driver. I'm a good sport...so I was happy to give her the keys and the experience.

We drove for miles. We drove through town. We drove on the interstate. People smiled as they drove by. They waved. Friendly follks in Connecticut.

So many friendly faces. So many. That's when it hit me. Not literally. My mug! My Dylan's Candy Bar mug. On top of the car!

People waving. People smiling. People pointing. I calmy alerted my driver,Grace. Without panicking, she zipped off the next exit ramp. We both laughed for miles. And we laughed some more.

Ralph Lauren's daughter, Dylan. Preppy candy!! Candy heaven! Upper East Side, New York City. Rooms for private parties. We had a "Dylan's To Go" party in Connecticut. Oodles of candy and oodles of fun!

Today we drove off with a Dylan's Coffee Mug on the car! My 16 year old girl and I are still laughing....together! Really. Sometimes life is great!

http://www.dylanscandybar.com/

Yellow Roses

Not Funny. Not one bit. This is how I feel right now. And it's Sunday….3pm. The end of the weekend. How is it possible that I feel as though our house is more in an upheaval than it was yesterday!

I hate when this happens. Why do I have to be the one to alert everyone. Don't they notice? Haven't I asked? Oh, I must have on my cloak of invisibility again. Darn that cloak. It always gets in the way of progress. 

Biff and I have been trying to get things done all weekend. Basic  cleaning. And a bit more. 

Laundry. Check.

Closets. Check.

Giveaway. Toss. Need to sort through piles. Started but now the piles are everywhere…in every room. Bedrooms. Family room. Vacuum. Vacuum everywhere. Or maybe nowhere until tomorrow.

Dogs. Check. Kind of. Sort of. A little bit.

The car interior. Check.

Basement. 

E-bay listing. Nope. No check. Camera broken. Yup. Another camera dead. Just like that. Poof. Dead. No good. No more pics. Done. Need to buy a new camera. Great.

The garage awaits. Need more Hefty bags for that job. Trip to the store? I think so.

Lawn.Plenty of lawn seed and holly toner. Too much in fact. We bought it last year from the boy scouts. Oh. We bought it again this year. Biff likes to give the kids $ for their fundraiser. Now we don't have enough space to store it all. We better pour it on heavy.

Kitchen. No paper towels. How can we begin with no paper towels? Better go to the store for those.

ReLAX!

It's great to be back on the sidelines again. Seeing the kids playing a sport they love is a joy! My challenge is cheering without ruining T.J.'s life In my own enthusiastic way, I scream for the team in Tourette like outbursts. The other parents empathize as I blurt out names and numbers and the color, team name and school...all in a desperate attempt not to embarrass my son or worse.....ruin his life. After all it IS a possibility. One burst too many from mom might just make a. difference in his high school social status. That IS rather incredible pressure...after all I'm just one mom...standing amongst other moms with the same cheering instructions from their children, "Pleeeeeeeeeease DON'T!" Really? Oh wait...they're teenagers. We cheer anyway.

Beachy Keen

Daisy, Fitz and I squeaked in some moments for a beachcombing/beach- sniffing adventure. Just the quiet time I needed...in between my mom adventures today. Gentle lapping waves have a way of calming the soul.

Grandpa Fitz and Mom

Funny. I've been thinking of Grandpal lately. Mom...everyday. This sweet father daughter photo (color tinted...fancy 1930s style) turned up. It's a little treasure. The memories of them are my treasure.

Funny to find this pic on the week of my grandfather's birthday! He died when I was in 5th grade. My first funeral. I had to have new shoes for the funeral.

Once I got back to school, wearing my beautiful, shiny, new patent leather shoes with my plaid school uniform ...my friend Maureen asked me why I was wearing my "Sunday shoes" (old school term that kids don't understand today)......I told Maureen the reason for my new shoes. She shrieked, "I've heard of Sunday Shoes and school shoes but I've never heard of funeral shoes! Wow! "

Playtime For Murphy, Daisy and Fitz!

Good Day?

Play Time

A Blog After My Own Heart!

http://coloringoutsidetheline.blogspot.com/2011/03/spring-flowers.html

This is a blog I happened upon this morning while having morning coffee. Just love her spirit. I'm posting her link just in case you'd like it too!

Oh What A Beautiful Morning!

Oh what a beautiful day! Daisy's checking it out ....making plans....checking her agenda. Sun.... check. Squirrels...check. Grass...check. Neighborhood dogs.....check. Full schedule.

Rainy Day Cozy

Boo jumps up and settles in with me to find a bit of cozy and warmth on this damp, raw day. Our black kitty is sleeping on my Black Dog sweatshirt. Cat-dog. The irony makes me smile. Then I realize this is nothing new. Boo sleeps with Daisy and Fitz all of the time. Even irony isn't irony in our house! That makes meeting laugh. Life is funny.

April Showers Bring May Flowers!

As T.J. said recently, "I don't even remember warm weather!"

Rules. Rules. Rules.

There are lessons out there for us everyday...somedays they are more spelled out than others. Today I saw this at Whole Foods. Adults can learn from this too! I do think everyday we can do our best to play nicely with others. Some people or situations may challenge us more than others! If we look to learn something from everyone we meet, rather than judge, we may play with others a little better everyday! It's tricky when we ARE the adults...with only our own conscience for supervision. If we're honest with ourselves, we know when we're playing nicely and when we're not.

Grace walked into the kitchen yesterday, shuffling along as she read her cell phone texts, stopped short, looked up, smiled, shook her head and spoke,"Mimi apologized. Hmm. She texted, Grace I'm sorry. Huh! " Sometimes people surprise us. Hearing the words "I'm sorry" can make us feel better...knowing that we matter enough for an apology. We can be relieved or freed of a huge burden by apologizing. if we grow up...and forgive....our hearts will be lighter and the bonus is that we can play and HAVE FUN like the rules say.