Grace had a busy week. She had one thing on her mind....well, several things on her mind....mostly relating to the return of her Blackberry that had been taken as a punishment, facebook, our plans to leave for Boston, pasta for dinners, homework (in that order) and the words I heard every morning and every afternoon, " I really want to get my hair cut this week!"  "What do you think?"  "MOM, come quick!" ....I run like my hair's on fire.......Grace points to the computer screen .....Don't you think my hair would look good like this?"  As we hurry off to the hair salon for the much discussed hair surrender, Grace says, "I hope I like my hair cut"....."I know I won't like my hair cut!"  What?  What? What do you mean, "I know I'm not going to like my hair cut?"  What are you thinking.  Why would you think that? I say this as we pull into the parking lot of the hair salon within minutes of her scheduled appointment. Huh? Why would you think that? You always get great hair cuts. "I know, but I just know that I won't like it.....at first."  Huh.  "Oh," I say as though I understand what this child of mine is talking about. 

The car is still running in front of the upscale hair salon. I said, "Well, the nice thing is that your hair grows fast even if you really don't like it." NO!  That's not it.  It's just that I want this much off....she gestures and folds back her locks.  A major decision. Oh.  Calmly, I mention that maybe it would be a good idea to have that very long 15 year old styled hair cut in increments. It could be a shock to the system that our Grace just can't handle.  Simply put, she could freak out.  

This is why I suggest the gradual chop.  I know this girl.  I have some flashbacks from a couple of teen hair drama myself.  A girl and her pony tail are not easily separated.  It's like an old friend. Very long pony tails swinging and bobbing and flailing and twisted up into one of those fluffed and twirled, spun and swirled, poked and pulled through a colorful rubber twisty is like an Olympic sport ...... only to be entered by a girl of 15.  The training of this sport called pony tailing is intuitive for any girl in her teen years. It's new....something hair cool that we didn't have "back in the day"....we had long straight pony tails...no twirl, spin, flop and swish. Of course, I always had a ribbon.  Ribbons are too tightly wrapped these days.  Too contrived.  BUT a ribbon is considered in perfectly good taste when sporting team colors while playing a sport....preferably a running sport so the pony tail can swing and swish from side to side.  

So, after my teenage girl turns to me and tells me that she knows what she wants and lets me know that it's not may hair, it's her hair...she can get it cut how she wants.....she knows what she likes....we walk into the hair salon and let it be known that we/she has arrived.  After consulting and discussing and looking and reiterating, I attempt to put in my 2 cents....after all, I am the one paying...in more ways than one. If this takes a bad turn....as I speak, my "child" looks at me, rolls her eyes that tell me she doesn't need me to explain for her.  So true.  Except, I was hoping to explain, selfishly, because I knew that we (Grace, Biff, T.J. and I) would be living with that hair cut....and hearing about that hair cut everyday until ......forever.

AND what about me?  I'm still having flashbacks from my 14 year old hair cut that created havoc for the whole Memorial Day weekend....and the time I let my mother ( a retail executive, not a hair stylist....not even a seamstress with decent scissors!) cut my hair one Sunday night....I begged.  I didn't want to wait for a hair appointment at Best & Co.  I wanted it cut right then and there and /__/ '/'/'/chop, chop, slide up, chop, chop, slide up.....oh let me even this out..../////chop////'''''////chop, slide...TEARS...BURSTING TEARS AND SOBS....and that was just my mother....I hadn't even begun to acknowledge the horror!  My oldest brother heard the noise and commotion from his room.  He walked out to us, standing on heaps of honey colored hair, by the hall mirror.  Yikes.  He said, "You better let her take the day off from school tomorrow....that's rough." and walked back into his room....for peace, I imagine. 

 

That's just the tip of the iceberg! There's lots more but the post traumatic stress might kick in if I keep going.Just let me say, that last example.....was the reason that my hair was pulled back for the rest of the school year....it was out of necessity since half of my hair was to my ear and the other side was almost shoulder length.  For years, my mom pleaded her case, " You wouldn't wait for the appointment.  Those scissors were no good!"

I left the salon.  Whatever would be would be.  Whatever was ours to see.Que seraah, serahhhh! I said a prayer.  O.K., I said lots of prayers. Then, the phone call.  It was time for the unveiling.  I arrived at the salon.  I opened the door.  Grace looked at me.  Her hair looked beautiful.  She appeared a bit subdued....especially for someone who had just been pampered.  Snip, snip here.  Snip, snip there...and a couple of la di das.  After I offered my compliments and effusive comments, I asked how she liked it.  She mumbled that she liked it.  

Later, it came out.  It was a great hair cut.  Grace was happy.  She liked it.  It was what she wanted.  BUT, she was bothered.  She was upset.  She was frustrated.  She was hysterical.  Huh?  Yup.  Welcome to my world.  Grace felt that I should not have "butted in" about her hair cut....after all, she is 15 years old.  She knows how to talk to her hair dresser.  She knew what she wanted.  It was her hair.  Actually, it was her life.  I was treating her like she was in second grade.  Didn't I know how stupid it made her feel.........................  .........................

Huh.  Had she forgotten that she asked me to come in with her.  Had she forgotten how unsure she was....until moments before we walked in the door.  Had she forgotten that the last thing she said, when I asked her why she was expecting not to like her cut......"I don't like change....it takes me awhile to get used to things."

Me too.  I have a teenager.  Actually, I have two teenagers.  Thankfully, T.J. just lets me buzz his head....

Oh, by the way...so does Biff.

Things happen

Wow! Things happen when you share ideas with others!  I mentioned to a writer and photographer in town that it would be cool to connect with other bloggers to share information and ideas.  He works at the library.  I suggested the group meeting in the library. Two weeks later, I am officially a member of a group of bloggers.  The writer/photographer made the group happen. It's almost a year since my blogging began.  Although my time management has been littlemarymixup E-bay store, my blog is one of the greatest undertakings I've ever experienced. 

Besides the creative outlet and computer learning curve from a woman who barely used e-mail to someone who is less intimidated and somewhat savvy. Enjoying the creative opportunities, communication and connections have been the most encouraging.  Throughout the last year I have met new people.  Other bloggers, followers, some old friends who really know my mix ups and share similar stories, long distance friends who like to stay updated and long distance family members who we love and miss.  

Some followers of the blog have been so encouraging when I had doubts, friends laughed along with me when mix ups happened, some friends with teens felt my pain and they were right there on the roller coaster with me!  Bloggers have shared some blog tips and fear of follower issues!

 I will admit that has been one of my biggest struggles along the blogging way. It's really just my ego.   Followers.  I haven't had much of an official following. Do I write for me or followers?  Me.  People throughout my life have consistently said, "You oughta right a book!" So, blogging fits the bill. 

 Not all choose to "follow" formally as in sign in as a regular reader. They come in all ages. Some of the kids' friends are my biggest followers! Some of my friends can't even figure out how to follow! Some friends and family say they have no interest or time. Some choose not to follow because they choose anonymity which seems ironic since I'm the one sharing my real life thoughts and feelings. 

 The reader shares nothing unless there's a desire to comment.  It's funny.  Even friends have said they were "afraid" to read it because they were concerned that they were "creeping on my life," as our kids say!  I have no secrets.  I do tell real life.  My life.  I don't write details if it's about someone else's feelings or issues.  These are just times of my life that I share along the way... whether it's on my blog, on the beach or chatting in Starbucks.  

To me, it's all just stories.  Or rantings.  Or ramblings. It's not the cure for cancer or trade secrets.  I believe if more people shared (with limits) in this life, everyone would be alot healthier....just because they know they're not alone.

 Whatever happens in life, one thing is certain, we all have to deal with change, loss, challenges....emotional and physical, hurts, sickness, family, friends and stuff!  It's sharing that keeps us from feeling overburdened or overwhelmed.  So that's me.  Not everyone cares to share.

I've been sharing since kindergarten....especially stories.  Miss Murphy, my kindergarten teacher, called it early on.  On my report card she wrote, "Liz likes show and tell and sharing.  Liz likes to dramatize stories."  Yup. 

Clean House.....

Biff is off on business tonight. Kids went to bed.  I'm catching up on some e-mail, e-bay and even a little tacky television.  Reality T.V. show? Yup. I'm watching a "Clean House" episode on T.J.'s Xbox! Good motivator! After seeing a show like this, I have no problem blowing through the house and decluttering some more.  It's never enough. Never.  There's always more on it's way in the door!

Always. Even now, tossing, tossing, tossing.  The kids think I have a hefty bag attached to my hand!  

It was so much easier when we used to sing the Barney song...clean up, clean up....da da dada da da. It was such a happy little song for all of us. I admit that back then I thought that I could be nominated as mother of the year! Just to show our kids how "fun" it was to pick up toys.  I think that faded over the years....not just mother of the year but the enthusiastic picker uppers....and they're teens now!

Just the other day, Grace and I were chatting and she said, "You'd think we'd be so good at organizing after going to Montessori!" and "hmmmm?"  That's when I blurted out,"Maybe if I had gone to Montessori too things would have been different!"  

That night, the kids had some friends over before the football game. We had pizza.  We had some juice drinks. We had lots of laughter.  We had 2 dogs. We had 2 kitties. We had one fish quiet in his room. We had Biff and I and our kids and their friends together in the kitchen.....eating pizza, telling stories, laughing and joking. We were sorry to have to leave for the game....it was a joy to be with such fresh faced, cute, funny, smart, hysterical, sarcastic, sweet, friends of our 2 teens.  Our house isn't perfect all of the time....maybe none of the time. 

It's clean.  It's just hard for me to promise soap opera perfection. It's o.k., we can always blame it on the dogs.  "We have 2 goldens!" we say to worn people.  Those with homes of perfection don't usually have dogs that are the ever loving, large shedding pooches. 

We're a little suspicious of those really big neat freaks.....don't they have anywhere to go?  Don't they have friends?  Why do they have so much time on their hands. Just kidding. Really, I'm in awe of them.

Our house isn't perfect, it's lovely...just not the shiny. sparkling variety! But with a giant jar of Crayola crayons on the kitchen table and plenty of paper, no one really cared!  

The house might have a few paw prints on a rainy day...but it's our home.  We love having fun with friends here.  I think that's what matters.  Fill the house with friends and no one cares about our antiques or sterling silver dinnerware. Our friends are happy with our fine china or paper plates....that's why we're friends!

Organization and decluttering is our challenge.  Who knows why. A friend once told me that it's because I'm an artist and artsy, not perfect. True. I'm forever grateful to that friend!

We still have some kids' art in the kitchen.  We still tack up happy notes on the fridge. I have a framed mother's day list that Grace made one mother's day morning....

"SPasiel list

1. get tray, 

    put on

2. make breckfast tray.

3. make coffie, put it on tray too

4. put a vase No watter!

    and put fake flower

5. bring it to mom

MOM do not forget! mom MOMmommommommom mom mom mom"

I have it near the kitchen sink....just so I remember this sweetness when she "forgets" to take the dishes out of the dishwasher. We're a very long way from our Barney days! And Montessori. 

We still have a junk drawer and by God, T.J. found something he needed in it tonight....Praise the Lord in the heavens above! Even T.J. had to laugh.

It's home. By the way, I turned off that show....those people were too messy! I feel so good, I may not have to clean! Oh wait, the dishwasher is finishing up now....I just might have to empty it before bed....maybe I'll give Grace the day off....after reading her sweet thoughtful note, I feel the love....even if, at 15, she's not too sure about that love......

Oh well, we love our family....and that makes it a great home.  I'm grateful. Thanks for making me wake up and smell the flowers....even if it was a "vase with no watter!" with "put fake flower".....that's home.

Books I'd like to read

books,blogs and biz

Books.

I love to read. Always have. I love the library. Biff and I have always had "bookstore dates " W.we've enjoyed bookstores as a family since we had new babies ...in baby bjorn...in backpacks ...L.L.Bean style....with toddling toddlers....precocious preschoolers ....growing grammar school readers who were proud to make their own selections...middle school mumblers with minds of their own. .and now,high school students starving for a good read that doesn't include the classics. For now,that feels like work.

Sadly today, kids have so little time for pleasure reading. Thankfully,we are blessed with eager readers. OUR storytime was anytime.Bedtime was the best. Now that Grace and T.J. are older, I'm thankful for the nights we gave in to read another another.....and sometimes another book. Reading was our treasured time when we talked and shared.

Since they were babies, we had the b?ath,,bottle, book, bed routine to look forward to every night...literally like clockwork. It was a special time for all of us. Cozy time too. Actually,

very early on our routine was bath,boob,book,bed! Grace and T.J. wore their feetie pajamas ...they called them "bootie suities"...not using the bootie word as some do these days...not to suggest the derrière ...but the feet!

I think if I came home from shopping today with bootie suities for both teens, they would fill the house with laughter and without a doubt,run upstairs to get right into the soft and cozy pajamas!!!

Bedtime isn't the same these days...Grace and T.J. are up late...probably later than we realize...they play music while reading,they skim through magazines..Grace,her fashion teen magazines or People magazine and T.J. flips through Popular Mechanics or Popular Science or Mad Magazine....it's a long way from our bootie suitie nights but it's still so nice that the routine goes on. We talk about reading together again...we like the idea....we know how nice it can be....journal biggest challenge may be the selection of the book now that we ha e 2 teens with their own opinions!

Blogs are a whole different story. They still tease me for "blahhhhging" as they say. They question my E-bay biz took...taking up sooooooooo much time on the computer...that's allllllll I do, they say. Then they say,"Mom, why don't you get w "real job?"

That's when I gently remind them that I do have a real job! Amazed to be let in on some huge secret, they chant in unison,What job? You didn't tell us that you had a job!!!!

They ask what it is! I just look at them and laugh..! They really. Have no idea

That this mom thing IS a job! Oh well, I guess that's because I make it look SO easy! LOL!!!!!!!

much time on the computer

blogggggggg.....via my phone...always changing

i miss my blog consistency.....i really enjoyed it. even without the millions of followers....it was something  i enjoyed.  i hope to be able to find better balance. my ebay biz keeps me running. the whole family is learning.  grace and tj give me business advice. biff shares my enthusiasm.

i miss my blogtime. perhaps my planning needs some fine tuning....or just tuning.  maybe it is too blahhhhhgggggy for readers.i think i am over that. it is all learning. it has been good for me to have my own place. something with a touch of creativity.

i had big dreams....to write everyday. i did that. until summer. with the barbie pink computer troubles and spotty internet on the cape.

we have had a year filled with slow economy, concussion,flooding and some material loss....tighter budgets and testing teens....and we are still here.  we are grateful.  for our spirit and health and health of our family and friends. we keep learning again and again that stuff is just stuff. our forever family and friends keep us grateful and keep our sense of humor in tact.

i write honestly here. i have no secrets. secrets keep us guarded and uptight. who really
cares? usually the folks with the secrets....funny.

blogging....

  i will keep it up.
maybe my style will change.....who knows? i like it here in blogland. i still like to tell stories.....since miss murphy:s kindergarten class. i wonder if my style has changed since way back in my show and tell stories?  if i want to be really honest.....probably not.

cartwheels again....in heaven

katie's funeral was today. sad for us .....yet a celebration of her life and her spirit. many tears were shed today, lots of stories and much laughter.  it was a wonderful thing to hear words and little snippets from katie's friends. everyone has their own private memories of the goodness she shared...til the end. she touched us all with her sweet smile and her kindness and caring.

what a joy to hear those stories.....to realize how profound one beautiful girl's effect on so many can be. only 26...and she changed many other people's lives.....in her too short time on this earth.


we will miss her more than words can say. she will still be here in each of our hearts.....
as i go to sleep tonight, i say prayers for her loving family and friends....and dream of katie popping in to heaven where she meets so many family members who have gone before her....her grandparents and even my mom....they'll welcome her to their world....and invite her to sing at the piano or play it.....in my dreams of katie and her awesome spirit....as the music is paying,irish songs at the piano are sung, katie will be right ther in the mix....doing cartwheels again.....in heaven.

life is precious

life is precious. take nothing for granted. take no one for granted. be real. speak honestly with the people you love.   speak honestly with everyone.  life is better when we are real. it makes a difference to everyone around us. honesty is good...honesty to cause hurt is not...it is a very fine line.  our days are more extraordinary when we act mindfully. everyone needs a place for quiet thoughts...mine is at the beach...or gardening ....lots of places for peace.

this is not meant to be preachy or full of myself...it is random thoughts...in my quiet place at the beach...with our dogs...biff and the kids came to meet me...i asked them to come...just to be family....in a place that we love....to be together...to appreciate the abundance in our lives.  to often we forget.

katie is not well. i needed time to pray....for katie....and her family...and her close friends like claire who sit by her side...to be with her...pray for them all...the pain is excruciating for katie and all who love that sweet girl.

life is precious.

What a wonderful time we had visiting Jenna's mom.  Jenna, Gina and I drove off Friday morning and in just two hours we were in another world....we were away....from our everyday life.  It was wonderful to spend time with Jenna's mom, "Nanny."

Through the years, we've known "Nanny" visiting our friends....meeting the schoolbus, going to sports events, seeing high school musicals, at the beach.....all with her grandchildren and sometimes with our kids. Grace and T.J. have known her from the time we moved in.  Grace was 4.  T.J. was 3.  That's a long time.  She knows us all in our day to day world with our kids and interacting with her kids and grandkids.  That's a pretty comfortable realationship for our kids....and for us.

This weekend we had the pleasure of being in Nanny's world.  What fun it was to spend time with this woman on her turf.  First of all, we love her spirit.  We love her style.  We love her energy. She's great to be with. She's fun. She's interesting.  Age knows no barriers when people keep in touch with the real lives of kids and grandchildren.  I love that.

We arrived in time for lunch....out on the porch overlooking the water.  Nanny's sister arrived to join us....with delicious desserts! Here's a  taste of our 33 hours away...how to take a "vacation in a bottle"!

Take a road trip with friends

Visit a friend's mom

Be greeted with a big hello and hugs

Have lunch served on the porch

Sit at a beautiful table

Add the friend's mom's sister

Add the friend's mom's sister's dessert

Have lots of laughs

Garden

Fun in the fog

Shop for fabulous fabrics

Shop together at Marshall's til we drop....in a big cushy queen chair on display

Dinner at Japanese restaurant

Put on cozy pajamas and watch a movie that turns out to be a t.v.show

Laughs

Have a sweet.....or 2 or 3....or 4?

Sleep a new pillow and the windows open, breathing salt air

Sunshine

Wake up and see sparkling water and boats cruising by 

Have pancakes and fixin's served for breakfast.....on the porch....looking out at the canal

Go to awesome tag sales for great bargain

Pack lunch

Jump on a boat with a great captain

Blast across the bay to Kismet

Anchor for lunch

Cruise through the channel

Hours of outdoors and beauty and talking and laughs.....

Wash the boat

Tea and some pie

Pack

Thank yous

Hugs

Waves

Drive home

It felt like days and a million miles away....ahhhhhhhhh.

Woke up.

Downstairs

Kitchen

Biff. Grace. T.J. and I

Kids eating breakfast

Biff drinking black coffee

Me drinking coffee

Me hugging kids good bye before bus

Biff and I calling out I LOVE YOU as the kids approach their bus.

Biff ready to roll out into the world of sales

Kiss Biff bye.

I love you.

I love you.

Gravel in driveway crunches and fades

Dogs? eager to go outside

Jinx slinks out the door

Webster wiggles a plastic bottle top

Another sip of coffee

Out with the doggies

In p.j. and cozy slippers

Tousled hair

Walk Fitzy on her retractable leash

Daisy dilly dallies freely...close by

Quiet moment for me to think about the day

Look at watch to note the time

Mom and little ones from down the street....drive up the street..... stop to say hello 

I say good morning to her 2 little boys in the back seat

Volvo back window goes down.

I sing hello "Jack in the back" and "Billy is silly"

Moms talk
This mom chats with little boys

Nick the neighbor drives by on his way to work.....with a wave and big good morning

Moms talk about kids and apple picking and life

Sweet minivan mom of four drives by en route to various schools

Moms talk

This mom realizes that hair is unbrushed

This mom acknowledges attire and lack of grooming

This mom chats some more

That mom..younger and showered...acknowledges life as we know it
That mom mentions she has days like this

2 moms say goodbyes

Little boys wave from their car seat thrones

Then doggies and  I hustle up the hill and start walking back up the driveway

I pause....while 8 paws pause to look

I look around too

Surprise!

My top is inside out

Before I can muster up some embarrassment ...... thinking of the hoards of folks I've shared my casual sleeping ensemble with
I realize it's good luck and it's just a day like any other.

No biggie

Who really cares
I'm just me

Last night....tired.....I put my blue on blue....unsexy sleeping get up on
In the dark

Last night

Too late
Oh well...such is life...my life.
I'm still happy
It's my life
I'm comfortable
It's not a show
No beauty contest
It's real
In the door
With dogs
Happy

Sipped a fresh cup of coffee

Fed the dogs

Raced to the shower

Shampoo

Rinse

Repeat

Dry

Dressed

Packed my bag

Skipped down the stairs

Kissed the dogs good bye

Lugged my things to the car

Ushered Daisy back in the house...she was preparing to stow away in our car

Flipped on the t.v.

Clicked on to sesame street

Put little Webster in his little home

Scooted back out the door

into the car

Started

Reverse

Crunching gravel

Put car in drive

drove out of town

For a relaxing moms' overnight with 2 other moms

Visiting the mom of one for a

Day of fun

Put on p.j.s...casual sleeping soft cotton...in the light

Went to sleep knowing that in the morning

Other moms would understand

My life!

Just to change the routine
The day to day life

I had to get out of town just so I could gather my thoughts
Take time
For me
Just to think

About what to wear to bed
My own time
Ahhhhhhhhh

But
I'm still mis-coordinated and discombobulated
I didn't take much time to pack
Then again

It's o.k. I'm used to me