daydream believer

sniff, sniff...cough....ooh, i have a bit of a headache. today, we had my boy home sleeping, my girl home sleeping and, i spent a good deal of the day sleeping and sneezing. my headache lingers. my, husband...my hero...kept marching onward and upward. he got up early he made the coffee, he woke me for a consult on whether or not our 14 year old should join her brother at home today.....I thought for about a second and said,"yes".....and fell back asleep while he walked the dogs, fed the dogs and sat down at his computer to get some early morning work started.

is this the swine flu? you know what? i'm just a bit too tired to care... the fact that the news has been filled with school closings, flu vaccine medical advice, hospital happenings and warnings. is it just "scare t.v." as biff and i call it? even "doctor OZ" of oprah fame has had a show educating viewers about the H1N1 virus today.

so, the mom who once was the mom who doubted anything but a fever and tossing cookies was a sickness worthy of a school absence, has now put the car in reverse! anything goes! stay home! why risk it? for years, we have been subjected to other peoples cooties (another word that my children ask me not to use, especially in public).....i know that it shouldn't be a big deal. but, to me, once you have kids, you are a cootie magnet.it's true.

considering i was the mom who, with my first baby, used to put all of the toys in the dishwasher after the playgroup babies headed out the door, i have come a long way. since the second kid arrived, oh, whats a little dog hair! drop a cookie on the floor when there is only one cookie with 2 kids.......a little cootie off the floor is way worth the risk to my children than the screaming and fighting that can take over our lives if they don't have "even steven",

who started "even steven" anyway, it must have been adam and eve....and it just continued through ages right on through ben and jerry. i wonder how jon and kate plus eight manage with "even steven"? oh, never mind....i'm sick of them anyway...the bad part of being cooped up at home, so tired and achy, is that's the kind of t.v. we are subjected to when we're too tired to lift an arm to find the remote to turn the yapping t.v. off.

anyway, back to "even steven".....the only reason that having a few more than 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish etc. would be that at a certain point, "even steven" flies out the window. the family of ten, who lived down the street when i was growing up, had no such thing as "even steven"...it was catch as catch can. one sleeve of oreos pretty much took care of that....i used to use them as an example for my kids when they were very little. i would say, "wwmbd?"....what would mrs. breenan do? oh, yeah, you think that's pathetic....i used the breenans for all kinds of sharing examples....."do you think mrs. breenan would cook different meals for all of her children?"...."do you think that the breenan kids could just leave their dishes in the sink?"...."''''socks on the floor...''''shoes at the door"...you get the picture. my kids literally got the picture. much of our time together over the years has been spent at a table with crayons....i love crayons and they helped me to chill out, sitting a drawing with the kids...i'm a life long doodler....so sitting and doodling the breenan's piles of shoes or oreo distribution was a part of my "teachable moments".

did our parents have "teachable moments"...i think not. i don't think my mother ever thought of a "teachable moment"....although i do recall her saying that she would "TEACH ME A LESSON"...and her teeth were a bit clenched at the time.

i don't recall anyone in my family "doodling" with crayons and talking about life lessons either.....i was a big doodler.....especially in school. those fresh new notebooks that started the school year so pristine and hopeful, with perfect catholic school handwriting on the front, with the subject, homeroom and teachers name.....after about the 2nd week of school, when i had already fallen behind, my enthusiasm waned and it became "doodle time"! the sides of my notebook were filled with beautiful swirly letters and drawings...pencils and pens were not good enough....markers of every color rocked my world! "mr. sketch" was my king...the mr. sketch markers were wide with bold colors and matching scents....red was cherry, blue was blueberry, purple was grape....on and on. doodling went hand in hand (quite literally!) with daydreaming.

my daydreams had only just begun. they were my ticket to freedom in sister cecilia marie's third grade class. she was a young nun....but, even in third grade, i knew she was not a happy nun like sister maria nicholas, my first grade teacher. sister maria nicholas was about as warm and fuzzy and groovy as a nun could be in the mid 1960's. not to sound too cliche' but, she even played the guitar.....outside on the front lawn of the church!....we had a sing along! i liked that as much as show and tell.

props always made me happy. i also liked the "little nun pitchpipe" she would pull out of her pocket. let the games begin and the good times roll...catholic school was rockin' after all. even though the nun in the long dark navy blue garb, with the white bib,and white "hat" (otherwise known in catholic circles as a wimple),accessorized with a matching navy blue waistband, sterling silver cross, black stockings and black shoes, a gold ring on the left hand because she was "married" to GOD, a black pitch pipe in her pocket and a tissue up her sleeve(mandatory, i believe)....and on special days...the guitar!

sister cecilia marie of third grade fame was young and she was mean. she was short, chunky with barely a smile. thinking back, i wonder if that was because she didn't want to call attention to her mustache....that was the only warm and particularly fuzzy thing that i can remember about her. she used to say,"patience is a blessing, possess it if you can, seldom held by woman, never held by men". i guess that should have tipped me off on her anger....that and the mustache, and the fact that she brought a t.v. into class to watch the '69 mets in the world series of baseball! she was tough. she is the reason that doodling was so big in my daydreaming world. some people are "saved by JESUS", i was saved by daydreams and doodling in third grade.


all of this came to me while writing about our sensitive, new age "teachable moments". my daydreaming could have been used as a teachable moment....perhaps? one of the few things i remember of the third grade was that the teacher was mean and not well accessorized, had a crabby face with a mustache and a tightly wrapped habit(the kind on her head....but, who knows, maybe she had some money on those amazing mets!) i remember that the classroom was in the basement of our church and the windows were so high that it wasn't possible to look outside, we had to line up to go to the "washroom" and line up for the bus, i hated practising cursive because of sister saint mustache. and did i mention that sometimes she would come out to the cement parking lot/playground to play baseball with the boys. not that there's anything wrong with that...it just seems ironic that people use the expression, "maybe she was batting for the wrong team".....it never crossed my mind until just this minute....swear on a stack of bibles with my left hand and make a sign of the cross with my right!

back to my daydream issues. i didn't know that there was any issue with them until one fall day in third grade. it was the day of the parent-teacher conference. my irish catholic mother, president of the rosary society,was terrified of NUNS. she came to school to meet with sr. cecilia marie.

my mom was a bit anxious. after all she had two rowdy boys years ahead of me and she was terrified of nuns! i'm not even going to question why she sent me to a school filled with the scariest beings in her "world". i sat in the car for quite awhile waiting for my mom to come out smiling like my precious experience in the education "world". well, it seemed to take a long time as i peered out the window of our 1965 ford country squire.....my mother finally was freed by the nun and ready to go. as she started the car, my mom said, with teeth clenched (notice a pattern here?),"WHAT DOES SHE MEAN ...YOU DAYDREAM?!!!!!".....startled, i responded, "huh?". and that was just the beginning of may wonderful daydreaming years to follow.

of course, as parents of 8th and 9th graders, we have had our share of teachers conferences....no nuns involved. no shame based teachings....in fact, it is so politically correct these days, that a daydreamer is considered "creative"...that puts a much more positive spin on things. little hellions are called "busy and active children", loud, disruptive children are called, "vocal", stutterers are called "repetitive speakers", smart kids are "gifted", not so smart have "learning challenges"......wow, in my day, i would have been covered by so much "teach speech" that my parents would have never known what was going on.

there are no bad students, "mediocre bound". actually, i think, once my mom put the car in drive, she never thought about my student credentials again....til the next conference. not that she didn't care, just that she had done her parent duty by simply showing up. she didn't obsess about my future or send me to a creativity enlightenment based school. all that mattered was that she was done with the nun! thank GOD. and as sister cecilia marie with the mustache used to say, my mom had "the patience of JOB".

so, anyway, what's a few days off with the swine flu. will it make my children "cootie challenged"? i'll have to take that chance.

thank goodness for laptops, i never had to leave my bed.

lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz












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moments

having my thirteen year old home with a possibility of swine flu, like the many others in our town. i actually had to pause and enjoy the moments while he was asleep.....not to say i was enjoying discomfort....it just plain stinks to be sick with a fever, exhausted, achy .... and feverish...with a scratchy throat....and snuffly nose.

i looked in on him while he was sleeping peacefully, seeing my sweet, loving boy....cozy and warm, under the covers with a kitty at his feet. i had the same grateful feelings that i have every night when i kiss our children goodnight and say a prayer while they sleep. i treasure those moments.

my mother in law told me, during the toddler years, that she felt God gave us those moments while they're sleeping so that we can handle all of the challenges with them during the day! i think of that every night. no matter what life we live with our kids during the day, at night we can trust that the tough times are only moments.

i know, some moments are longer than others. a family friend told us that when her kids were acting up, while they were with the grandparents, she would tell them that the kids were teething. even in their teens. hey! ya gotta do what ya gotta do. some moments are longer than others!

sitting in my peaceful world, i wondered if i too, had some of the same flu symptoms as my son. i'm exhausted, achy with a headache and scratchy throat. i have felt that way most of the time during this new adolescent period. oh...WAIT.... it's motherhood, not the swine flu. a few pigs don;t scare me!

i remember when we were expecting our babies...friends and strangers would tell us to "enjoy the sleep NOW", before the baby arrived. as though we could store it up, like nursing mothers doing marathon pumping and storing multiple bottles in the fridge!

i remember sitting with friends, weeks before our first baby was born. we had just had a nice dinner with friends, their babies asleep in packnplays and cribs in the adjoining room, and the women began sharing their stories of motherhood. they told little snippets of their new babies...the sleepless nights, the confusion...but mostly, they told the sweet kodak moments.

well, i now am able to sit down to add some little id mix ups i've encountered since we last met. first, i must tell you that my name is not mary...it's liz! throughout my life, i've been called many names....my mom is the one who knew me best and somewhere along the way, she put the name with the girl.

i also am comfortable with "becky home ecky". not because i am, but because it's just not something i can achieve. i really believed that once i was married and had children, i would have worked out all of my "kinks" and live the life of my daydreams. NOT! reality kicked in very soon.

my husband was more perfect for me than i could have dreamed. stories abound of "life with liz" as biff calls it. from the very start of our relationship, "little mary mixup" reared her pretty little self. many with my reputation may have been daunted by the moniker. thankfully, our liznbiff dating season allowed the honest to goodness me!

actually, mix ups took place from the first date! oh wait, mix ups began the first time biff asked me out! we stood at christopher morley park where we met ice skating. we talked about our work in sales......and selling styles and working our own style into the sale. biff put his hand on my elbow and said, "like if i were going to ask you out on a date, i'd touch your arm like this and say, how would you like to go on a date?" i totally missed the invitation, thinking it was his selling style. i never imagined that this great skating guy was asking me out. "chatterbox", a name my dad called me, from the time i could talk. biff was onto that from our first conversation.

when he pointed out that i had missed his cue, i questioned his sales technique since it hadn't really worked out selling me! although, we did plan to go out on the weekend....only i thought it was friday night....and he thought it was saturday night. on that friday night, i thought i had been stood up by my charming "skate date". here i am and there we were....apparently we've learned to communicate a little bit better than our first "mix ups". although, you might say the "mix ups" have kept our marriage fresh. a sense of humor is a very good thing!

okay. by now, you may have noticed that i have a touch of "a.c.a.d.d." or "after children attention deficit disorder". orderly is the furthest thing from my mind. having a track record like mine, i worked double time so that our children would live a full and blessed lives without mix ups...mix ups due to me, that is. and don't forget, it IS all about ME. actually, my "little mary mix up" reared up just the afternoon before my first baby arrived. i stopped to have a manicure and pedicure ("applesauce" pink was the color!...important detail!).....thank goodness my childhood friend called the night before and informed me that i was in labor! to find out the next morning, when we called the doctor to let him know labor had begun! thank goodness my childhood friend called the night before and informed me that i was in labor! "late bloomers" ring a bell? "late bloomers" ring a bell? while on the phone with the doctor, biff was notified that i had missed an appointment.....and where was i ......getting my manicure and pedicure! and how happy was i! my nails looked great during childbirth! AND the mid wife loved the pedicure and the color....enter "applesauce" pink!

all that, to explain "little mary mix up".

today was a quiet day. not at school bus time. our ninth grader was hysterical before 7:00a.m.

for the 3rd day in a row, the bus driver rolled by without even stopping. even my little girl, who was born running and arrived equipped with a wristwatch and a date book.....(pre laptop)...and lots of plans, could not catapult herself onto the moving bus! "epic fail!", as our kids say. and don't quote me because they feel that we are too "old school" to use that term.

after the bus drama, i walked daisy and posey......a speed walk. and off to the Y to swim laps. i must stay on the move....i must keep this routine going.....i drive off to the Y, with bathing suit, towel and goggles......but, wait! what did i forget? the bathing cap. the olympic style, not the smelly plastic one with the colorful flower petals and chin strap. i'm an o.k. swimmer, but i'm no esther williams.

so, to many, a forgotten bathing cap is not a real problem. however, i just had my blonde highlights/ lowlights/ toner/ and "especially developed shampoo for colored , dry, damaged hair. not a big deal to most. however, to me, it's"happy hair"! and it has taken months to get the color and cut back to normal. did i forget to mention that i had a little "mix up" last february with a "temporary" color fix from a box purchased without reading the details. and the part about testing a strip of hair was conveniently overlooked.........NEVER AGAIN.....and my hairdresser made me swear on a stack of styling magazines that NEVER AGAIN would i attempt this at home. and that's not even including the mullet of a haircut i had from one of my "instant gratification" hair appointments with a random hair stylist that had availability at the time of my neediness...........now we know why she was available!

wait...i was talking about swimming and exercise routines....i digress. i'm not even going to ramble on about my thought balloons over my head while hopping around on the cold, puddled floor in between lockers, matronly bodies, modest moms and marathon swimmers. going by the rules, i tip toe over to the showers only to find that there is a large green tarp dividing the shower area in two halves.......plumber sounds, deep voices and clunky tools banging on one side and wet seal like bodies of all ages waddling across the wet tiled floor. after tiptoeing through the janitors closet, it was only steps to the pool.

my swim was wonderful. such an achievement, just to get into that water. i could leave proud just knowing i had accomplished the biggest hurdle.....jumping in my lane. i swam lap after lap day dreaming about my kids, my husband, my great, healthy start to the day.

i had guilt that the dogs only had a short walk, but realized it would all work out because i would walk them at the beach later in the glorious sunshine......a puppy playdate......my kid playdate days are over. that means MY whole playdate social life is over. HOORAY!! that's another story. now, i can plan puppy playdates with people and puppies who know how to play nice and don't feel the need to impress me with puppy over achievements and filled up schedules...........and no one ever tries to impress me with overdecorated dog houses and educational dog toys.

while gliding through the cool, clean, chlorinated water, my trance like state allowed me to feel the joy of swimming while counting my blessings to have this sparkling clear, clean water at my tippy toes. only months old, this pool was a gift. life was good. life was great! and it was only after eight. filled with pride from my tippy toes to my dripping yellow (green) hair! and i strutted back to the locker room. after the same dripping drill, i was warm and fuzzy in my weathered sweats and could begin the day!

dog walk...one thirty at the beach in the warm sunshine with our frolicking four footed friends.

ahhhhhhh......peace and friendship for all! free, unencumbered....no pressures of schedules, sports or complaining kids! as we walk with our three joyful pups, we come upon a woman with two miniscule dogs....(our cats are bigger)......we all walk and talk and walk .....with dogs all around! ahhhh nature. life is good. life is a gift.

WAIT, there's more! friendly conversation leads to a common concern.....H1n1 VIRUS..... our newfound friend tells us of her middle school daughter at home with the flu....she tells us of the school closings...she tells of her kids' swim meet with hundreds of kids at the indoor pool, steamy and stuffy.....i ask where the kids' swam.....it was at my pristine pool where i had probably taken in gallons of water just hours before!

QUESTIONS, WORRIES, SCAREY STORIES AS WE STUMBLE, INSECURE AND HORRIFIED back to our cars with our pets...wet and sandy...and smelly too! we part ways with our new found, alarmist friend. my friend and i sit on a rock basking in the sun and sighing at the realities of this "PANDEMIC" scare when the phone rings and it is my son. he is home. he has not gone to cross country practice. his voice is weak. he is tired. he has been hot since lunch.............my friend checks in with her son. same age, same school. he is still a little horse. he reports of a scratchy throat. before we leave the beach, my nose is running....maybe even draining. i am now preoccupied. what do we do...do we need shots....will we all get sick....did my daughter look pale yesterday........

i got home to find my son half asleep. my daughter called to get a ride home after her sport. she was tired too. students were out sick....teachers too. the next town over had closed the schools. i remembered the girl, with her team shirt, in starbucks, coughing over the milk and sugar.................

before dinner, i was on the couch with a quilt.....the news was on....more schools in connecticut were closed. there was no need to panic...no one was to worry....shots would be available....to people with compromised immune systems....story after story reported on this flu.....the flu that was premature in the season.....my throat was scratchy.....i turned off the news since i already had a headache.............

and now, i sit. thinking. still grateful....a little uneasy, exhausted.....prepared to dream.

and my name is liz, little mary mix up, becky home ecky, chatterbox and mom.

and more.............................

lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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it is only now i can try this blog again.....only after i have created havoc by trying to sit quietly at the computer and think about the fact that i have included nothing on my first attempt to blog about the name "little mary mix up".

and maybe it needs no explanation. just read my blogs and it will come to you,

just as i was seated comfortably at this desk in the family room with my daughter on her itouch, the t.v. on, the two golden retrievers laying peacefully at my feet, my great husband came home from a "speed shop" at stop and shop to get milk and other much needed staples to get us through the week. milk became a necessity when grace, the queen of milk drinking and taste drama deemed our rather new gallon of farm bought milk unacceptable to her palate. that's all i need to hear...a question about milk....oh, dear God, just don't make me smell it....and now, there goes my coffee, milk.

biff deserves an award. my mom used to say,"you're so lucky you have him!" oh, SO TRUE...one of my many blessings! and that's a whole 'nother story....you'll love some of the little mary mixup stories that brought us together forever!

after a brief interruption to get grace.14 and t.j.,13 and i to help bring in the groceries....with dogs included in the trek out to the car....we all come back in carrying heavy loads. everything is deposited in the kitchen and kids flee.

biff and i continue unpacking, being sure to immediately put away the food that will most intrigue "posey" the 3 year old golden with little restraint(read none). the "trickle down" theory will occur within seconds. "trickle down" is a bit like "world". it is a description of one act that causes multiple acts of chaos to ensue. i'm familiar with this...intimately...on a daily basis. sooooo, if "posey" lives her dream clenching any edible item from the groceries, then "daisy", the 7 year old, sweet, loving, gentle, obedient dog will bark ferociously to notify us of the infraction.... of course, only if she is not included in the feast! i'm on to her!

o.k., the groceries are put away.

soooo, with coffee delivered to me by my husband, i sit rereading my very first blogpost. i am a bit tentative since i want to start writing but, as always, do not have my thoughts together. nevertheless, i have begun...there is no going back. i ask biff to take a look and see if it is o.k.....if he thinks it sounds like me....and my great guy says, of course it's o.k.....leave it...it's a start.....he goes back to the kitchen to finish up unpacking and plans on checking the blog out in a minute......

i sit with my starbucks coffee and bit of milk(which was the reason biff went out to the grocery store) reading my free association, rambling blog and...

YIKES! i spilled the coffee (hot) onto the keyboard and the desk...but it is flowing back towards the new screen and brand new mac computer! SCREAMS AND SHRIEKS from my grace....screaming at the potential loss of connection to her "world". biff arrivedd on the scene calm and armed with "Bounty, the quicker picker upper"...thankfully, he just bought the 16 pack on sale. we require lots! i quietly, holding my breath, keep mopping bounties on the surface, our "sweet grace" commentates during the whole cleanup about how this will affect her life since i have been so irresponsible with the new computer.........i run to get the blow dryer to hopefully dry out the keyboard so it won't skip letters like the last keyboard covered with perrier.

grace leaves the room, realizing that her comments have backfired and only lead back to her cleanup skills.

ted, by the way, is oblivious to the whole crisis since he is fighting an Xbox war in the playroom downstairs....only to hear a faint adolescent changing voice calling out for pancakes. oh, wait...biff asks, "do we have eggs?" .....i cringe waiting to hear the answer. we have just spent 10 minutes looking for the plug to my "christmas gift griddle".....one of the best gifts ever, besides the "first married christmas gift" can opener. both were received with squeals of joy! i'm a very high maintenence wife and yet, a very cheap date! i guess that'll need some splainin' lucy!

liz-language

world= places in which our family members orbit.

trickle down= the origin of a mix-up of potentially great proportions.

high maintenence wife= WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?

lots of mixups that require some fixups

here i am. i started trying to write a blog just about a year or so ago. on this beautiful sunday morning in october, i finally have my fingers on the home computer. having a 13 and 14 year old, my time on it seems a bit limited!

it seems as though the computer is the only communication that my teens use to connect with their world! i always use the word "world" for the little pieces of our lives. my children wince at the word!

a "world" could be a school, a team, a class.....just different places our lives seem to orbit. and isn't that what we do? orbit?

in the fall, our lives are thrown into a new school year, with new schools, new teachers, new friends and new frenzies for us all.

our children are consumed with the new notebooks, markers, highlighters and always the prerequisite crayola box of 64. as parents, we are consumed with seeing to it that our children's lives are organized with bus schedules, teacher orientations and back to school intentions for the best year ever.

oh! and don't forget the new clothes! that is the greatest back to school pleasure!

who could be happier than waking up to all of this newness! everyday is christmas! new books, new backpacks, new crayons and new clothes....clean rooms, long showers, sleep and excited wake ups, a nice breakfast, bagged lunches a loving send off.....and the year begins!

all so hopeful! parents have myriad feelings as they send their, little one, big ones and in between ones off to start their new, promising year.

and don't forget the new friends! so exciting to start the year, seeing old friends and catching up....and making new friends!

is it all magical or what?

and that is all on the first day!

then the second day! still excited!

the third, well, it is a bit of a stretch since everyone is exhausted and starting to feel the switch from the freedom of summer, beach days, less structure and late nights!

let the games begin!

ahhhhh! it's my turn now.....summer ending is just the saddest letting go i know. after all of the prep and shopping fun, that's it! it's over! some parents dream of sending the kids back to school in july. many compensate by sending them off to camp! not me! i love summer and share the joy with friends and their kids. ahhhh! sailing, swimming, sandy toes, sizzling barbeques, showers outdoors, sun,sun, sun!

oh, wait, i was daydreaming! that's how it's supposed to be! and it is! it's just that it's mixed up with bickering, burned hot dogs, bad baseball games and barely time to keep up with all of the plans made by me, the kids and friends!

summer and the daydreams are over before we can blink an eye.

lots of moms can't wait for the school bus! i just want more summer!

here i am....in october....sitting at the computer while my children sit mute in front of t.v., ipods in hand, texting with the other! not quite what was in the plans! oh...wait....was any of this in the plans?

NOT! dare i say, it's never like the daydream....the kodak moments are less and less as we meander into adolescence. oh wasn't it me that was going to be the sensitive new age mom, doing all of the right things, saying all of the right things, modeling all the right behaviors! are we having fun yet?

wait! what is right? the rules keep changing...the kids keep changing...the world keeps changing.....if i want to be in touch with my kids, i guess it will have to be on facebook...maybe they'll see me or hear me there.....