on my own again!

up early, grumbling about another boring day of school, "i hate school." and "it's too cold.", grace and t.j.
were moving slowly.  muttering about backpacks and lunches and winter coats and the freezing cold, they
went down our hill to the bus stop.  as funny as this sounds, i hate to see them go.  it was fun to lay low
over vacation and have the awesome delights of skiing as a family with our friends.... just a memory now.

grace has left the house with an "i love you." called after her and t.j. waits, warm, in the living room, watching out the window for his bus.  grace, always determined to be ready for her unreliable bus schedule, early 4 minutes or late 8 minutes, rushes out the door, pads across the snow on our walk and slowly maneuvers the crunchy tiretracks down the driveway....in her new flip flops.  never to be daunted by freezing temperatures or snowy drifts, that girl has always had her own style....no matter what season.  she has also been the girl to rip off a new tag and immediately throw on  something new.  instant gratification grace. new shoes, new boots new bathing suits.....dive right in and make it hers.  so, off she goes, in her new flip flops, to wait, wait and wait for her bus to arrive.

t.j. waited quietly at the window,mumbling something, "if i ever won lotto, i would just take time to sleep as much as i wanted and do what i wanted.".....i'm not going to tell him, just this moment, but we don't play lotto.....so his chances a re pretty slim....he better keep plugging away.  he looked out at grace, still standing in her flip flops.  he commented on some apparent stupidity and pondered just how his older sister can live like she does.  he sat, in his big timberland boots...with ski socks!  he  looks off into the distance for his timely bus and grace, still rocking in the cold, stands in the street, looking the opposite direction for her bus....late again.

t.j.'s bus stops up the hill ....waiting for the girl that always makes them wait.  at our house we're grateful for every minute she dawdles...we always count on her for that.....all the more time for t.j. to plod through the snow.  as he made a new path in the snow, he looked up to see his bus rolling our way.  he, thoughtfully took each step to his bus.  his sister watched and waved to some kids.  just as the bus flashers went off  to move on it's way, grace's bus slowed down to stop......she flipped and flopped.  like a choreoraphed dance, the busses sache'd past.

so, bittersweet, my day began.... out with dogs, in with dogs, warmed up with a cup of coffee, cleared counters,  filled dishwasher, turned it on and waited for the hummmmm.   i was waiting for this moment....i dashed to the garage, wearing slippers.... i hauled in the red christmas tubs.  i did a quick sweep, through the first floor, clearing out christmas window lights and candles, snow globes and santas, nutcrackers and  angels and jingle bells that hung on the door. blocks that spelled "merry christmas"  and treasured children's christmas books, saved through the years all stacked on a shelf........all was swept away, wrapped up and tucked away into tubs and ready to stack away for next year.

i take out those same decorations so lovingly and sentimental.....and when that spirit moves me, they're scooped up, packed up and put away with not one little regret.  i think that's just like the christmas season, so special and reminiscent.....the music, the cookies, the tree and the lights....and shortly after christmas, it all feels like clutter.  my brain is cluttered enough....with the lists in my head.  those lists get distracted in the christmas buzz, so now it's back to business.....the business of a mom. 

i can't seem to detail an account of my day.  i know no one would believe it.  there's so much to do.  while the kids were on vacation, alot of day to day chores were undone.  rather than nag and hear myself saying things that i thought i'd never say, i chose to enjoy the time and now it's time to pay.  i'll be playing catch up for awhile.....right now, i'm off to start some laundry,walk the dogs, go to an appointment, grocery shop and come home to meet the plumber......it's my first day home alone and i've got big adventures planned! when i dreamed of having a family, i never dreamt that this kind of day would bring such enthusiasm.....it's just that it's my day.......the dogs and i....and i'm.on my own again!

there's more where that came from!

last night, we had another light dusting of snow.  it's winter in connecticut.....there's more where that came from.  today was a beautiful, sunny and cold day today. lots of kids went back to school today, our kids had one more day!  not that they needed one more day.  we've had some outstanding vacation days and some very mellow days.  overall, it was a good thing for us all to have a break from the grind of school hours and homework and social lives, on facebook and x box, ipods and real, live people.

having grace with mono for a big chunk of the school year added stress for us all.  exhausted every morning and literally, dragging out of bed, in no mood for her mom, dad or brother to even think of the spoken word.  it was a very trying period....we were beginning to think her behavior was what we would be encountering throughout all of her teen years!  that was eve making us feel a bit whiny!
 
when biff and i saw the sunshine and blue sky this morning, we both had the same thought.....what a great day for skiing with grace and t.j.....let's go!  it would be fun to do, for everyone to get a bit more confident on a smaller mountain....especially, after skiing some tougher trails in new hampshire last week. we gave the kids a little more time sleeping.....something our teens crave these days.  after some time to plan out our day at a small, regional ski area, biff went upstairs to wake the kids.  he  was excited with our spontaneous idea and expected the same from them.

one thing for sure, with our teenagers, we have learned to expect the unexpected with grace and t.j.  after a couple of cups of coffee and some discussion, we realized we could leave at 10:30 a.m....dressed and ready to ski with lift tickets....by noon, when the mountain opened.  biff and i were delighted at the possibility.  it would be great for the kids to have one more vacation day to ski...at a smaller mountain, in our area.  after skiing last week in new hampshire, it would be good for everyone...good for our family time and certainly good to build everyone's confidence.

biff was up the stairs and ready to roll.  his enthusiasm was contagious....our spontaneous idea would be received with whoops and cheers and maybe dancing through the halls!

we have learned in the past year or so, the only thing we can ean expect from our teens, is to expect the unexpected.  they both looked up from under their puffy comforters and quilts and squishy pillows, and groaned, "no!  please don't make us go."  moaning sounds uttering words,, difficult to understand, "i need one more day to sleep.  can't we o next weekend?"

even though their our own children, my husband and i look at each other, befuddled and confused, once again.  we were  beginning to doubt that the people inside of those voices were our children.  from time to time, we look at each other and say,"who are these children.  where did they come from?"

i could understand their reactions better, if maybe, we had woken them up to say it was time for a root canal......this was a gift....a treat.....pure fun and enjoyment...an opportunity.  not in their minds.  this was just one more moment of opportunity.....one of many.

my husband and i resigned ourselves to the fact that this was our dream.....this was our spontaneity....this was our fun....this was our money!  biff and i changed gears.  he was ready to get to his office.  we said our goodbyes....still puzzled.....we just let go...we let go and decided to go with the flow.  we chose to let them sleep in.

i walked at the beach with the two golden retrievers and a good friend, with her spaniel.  we laughed together....about our vacations and our children.  i talked about our morning.  we both concur....in our wildest dreams, we would never have guessed that children would turn down such an offer.....a day of skiing....just because.  we both laughed, because our kids just amaze us.  we find ourselves saying things like, " can you believe it?  i never would have turned down an offer like that!"......"when we were kids, we would have begged our parents to spend time with us."......."how did this happen?  do kids today have so much that what we offer is just one more thing!"

i find myself quoting the song from the broadway show, "Bye bye, birdie"...."kids, what's the matter with kids today?  why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way....what's the matter with kids today?"  we walked and talked.  we wondered.  what have we done?  we don't spoil our children....we offer lots of choices.  we didn't have so many choices when we were kids.  we just played outside....we ran down the street to find friends.  we sat, bored.  we didn't have such a mobile society.  we didn't have  "helicopter parents."....not that we think WE'RE helicopter parents.  we want to let them go...go out on their own....we want them to explore more...we want them to enjoy their independence.

we keep walking and walking and walking.  the sunny day is a top ten day of winter.  we shrieked, because suddenly, as we walked along the shoreline, little waves crashed into us.....waves with slushy ice, crash into us.....as we walked and talked, the tide was coming in.

that's how my husband and i felt this morning.......like we were walking along the shore that we was so familiar yet we are still surprised that we sometimes get wet....today was a real surprise.  a surprise that our kids just didn't care about skiing....just like having SLUSH in the water.

the funny thing is.....we think we do have kids that are grateful.  we think they are really great kids.  they are kind and loving and sensitive and respectful.....most of the time.  the funny thing is.....i don't even think they know what an opportunity it was.  the funny thing is....i think that this is a generation that has so much, they don't really know opportunity.  the funny thing is.....i know they were tired, but too tired to jump up and ski. the funny thing is......my friend has had many of the same moments.

go skiing. get sleep.  maybe if i was a teen today, i would make the same choice.  maybe i would be tired.  i would just be tired for very different reasons.  i would have been tired from boredom, tired from too many late night, "i love lucy" episodes.  i would have been tired from staying up too late, writing and drawing.  i would have been to tired just because i was a teenager.

i guess every generation looks back and wonders if life has really changed for the best.  so much is available to all of us.  information at our fingertips, friends at our fingertips on facebook and on our cellphones and i-phones.....we can use our phones and computers to talk to our family and friends in other countries....we can even look at them on the computer games to play indoors, on the television or on the computer or on our cell phones or i-phones. anyone can buy anything today with a credit card...even if there is no way to pay it back....credit is the norm.  everybody can go anywhere..anytime...stores are open 24 hours...there are fresh brewed coffee boutiques on every corner....we don't even have to get out of the car to get our breakfast, lunch or dinner or snack at any hour....we can order on line in the middle of the night.....we can get money anywhere, anytime.....airplane travel is taken for granted......in some homes each family member has their own car..........lots of people have g.p.s., electronic maps, in their cars, it's not even possible to get lost anymore and have the challenge of finding the right route..... 

so why get up and go skiing, when you can do virtual skiing on t.v.?  maybe, kids do take advantage of what they have. we know how much more these kids have been exposed to than us......and how much more stuff and more technology than us ...... i think we have a generation with parents who love to provide and give what's available.....they have so much more available than we did.....there's more where that came from!

miracles do happen!

in this century.

o.k......when i sat down to write about the craziness of scheduling our family christmas, i knew it would be one of the least exciting, most confusing post that i have ever written.  and nothing is more boring to me than asking someone how they are and hearing a littany of their busy schedule.  i realize we live in a world where everyone is overwhelmed with their own agenda.

i think this all began in the 80's.....everyone was so busy talking about money and having money to do things, have things, buy more things and go more places to meet more people than i ever remember.  i'm sure graduating college and living on our own and having a permanent job, called career in the 80's, helped all of that to be magnified.  i still remember making plans with friends.....some had become very self important in  "high powered careers".  when the plans were made, we discussed where we were all meeting and who would be there. some rattled off possible conflicts and told of other plans.  the "where" was more prominent and "who" was more prestigious.  just when we thought we, the tried and true friends, had been blown off for a better opportunity, we heard a "filofax" worth of information.  back in the 80's, we still used a phone.  if we had been skyping,  friends might have seen us gagging at high fillutin' plans.  we had a few years of even more important engagements and black ties and real estate aquistions and can you top this events and addresses.

our lives all moved on.  we thought that the days of one upping were over.  then, we got married.....settled into a life of bliss and new homes and new babies.....some sooner than later.  we thought we had moved on from sharing shallow stories.  but, no.  we were on to the next phase.  for me, a late bloomer, it was sometimes unbearable to hear the accounts of the new kitchens and gutting of homes and exotic vacations.  my husband and i were both late bloomers, we like to say.  i wouldn't have changed a thing.  we waited a long time to find the love of our lives.....later rather than sooner and we were happy.

our first address was a little mary tyler moore apartment, on the third floor of an old victorian house.  it was a dream life in a little village by the sea, with daily walks together and romantic dinners in our tree house apartment.  we entertained like crazy and anyone who visited was welcomed and fell in love with our charming little home.

and soon to come was our bouncing baby girl.  we were all peaceful in our little niche, bathed in bright  sunlight and cozy with our new baby.

soon, we had the chance to make a move, so that my husband could grow his sales territory in the northeast. we moved to a beautiful beachy area near boston.  we found a condo, rather than a house. the prices of homes were moving up and we were starting out.  i was staying home with our baby, grace.  we made that choice early on.  it was a choice i'll never regret.....yet, i have the greatest respect for women who manage both a full time career and mom life.  with the choices we made, we would need more time to get our first house.

that was when i learned that the busy scheduling stories would  appear again.  as a new mom, i began entering a world i had never known....playgroup....with moms and babies.  it was exciting to be in a new place, with a new baby and starting out the life i had dreamed of.  innocent.  i walked into a new world of moms who had stories to tell of their babies best moments and tales of gymboree, naptime dreambabies, babbling babies who were prodigies and parents who knew it all.  babies had schedules for classes of gymboree, gymnastics in utero, mom n me music, ballet babies, swimming babies and babies who lunched.

playgroups were pedestals for parental achievements. moms not only nursed babies on the go but but planned parties for baby's first teeth.  playgroups were scheduled at people's homes. we had coffee and bagels and babies while moms relayed stories of upholsterer uproars and curtain creations.

as babies grew, the accomplishments were even greater.....and toys were greater too.  their were dollhouses and playhouses and baby kitchens and cars...new gadgets and scooters and strollers galore.

we were so new to this world, it scared us a bit. we were living in our condo and clueless to it.  we had no "home work" or demands.  we took road trips and day trips and trips to the pool at the condo, we went swimming and took long walks with babies in the jog stroller.  we had time to smell the flowers.  we met neighbors outside, sharing rasberries and flowers.  we met storekeepers and mailmen.

i knew it was funny, when i was volunteering to help raise money for a town playground.  apparently, it was time.  time for the moms to get busy. it was time to apply all of their savvy business skills from a previous lives.  our playground needed research and planning and blueprints and consultations.  their were committees and committees to work it all out.  there were meetings in the morning and meetings at night.

i knew it was time to rethink this world.  i was sitting in a mc mansion, in a kitchen larger than our condo.  moms were gathered on gigantic, plush sofas with designer water.  moms talked of the swingsets in their own backyards.  one mom said, "oh, we chose the playbuilt swingset because it seemed most challenging for our little monkeys"  another mom described their latest swingset aquisition, an even newer model.  the first mom with the monkeys talked about their decision to have the swingset close to the house so she could keep and eye on her little monkeys.  the mom with the bigger, better new design told of her necessity to have a bulldozer come in to "clear the land" to give it some space.

it was at that moment that i thought, "wait, i'm here to volunteer to build a playground.  my kids have  no swingset, in fact, we have no yard."  i laughed to myself.  i realized our children had been in a photoshoot for a top of the line swingset company. we had recieved coupons for a discount on a purchase of the top of the line swingset......but, we had no yard. and that was the moment i knew i needed to sit back with our babies and watch them grow.  i chose, at that very moment, to step back from the insanity.

from that moment on, i made choices.  i made choices to make our children come first.  not based on ego.  not based on stuff.  not based on busy baby schedules to bombard their little lives.  i remained true to ourselves and to our babies.  i knew that all of the committees and all of the volunteering and all of the scheduling would, from that moment on, be based on what's best for our babies and our family.

.who'd have ever believed....the 80's career women could turn the lives of kids into one upping on the sidelines!  it happens.  life is busy.  kids are busy.  grandparents are busy. moms are busy. dads are busy.  for goodness sake, i even need time to squeeze in time for doggie playdates.

our phone call this morning started all of this.  we had to cancel ou christmas in january with or family, in the latest location..  snow. rain. weather.  we'll figure something out.....eventually.  in the future, i hope we won't be skyping christmas.  families are far away.....with busy schedules multiplied by number of family members.  where has the time gone? literally, where has it gone?  i hope we get it back in this century.

don't put all your eggs in one basket...

it's the second day of the new year and we have plans to celebrate christmas with the family.  this is another alternate plan.  originally, we had plans to get together in mid december.  we even offered to take jane and jim, my husband's parents.   we thought it would be nice to travel the distance together and have some extra time with them.  they may be retired but they have busier schedules than we do. there was a blizzard that prevented the whole family from making it from a variety of states.

  we had big decisions to make regarding the planning of that party....our grace, the freshman, had recovered from her mono and had plans to go to a high school homecoming dance that night.  it would be a three hour drive out to horse country in new jersey, we would have to leave a bit early to get home for the big dance.  we had planned and replanned to adjust our lives so that the dance would not be missed.  after all of the planning, more planning and revising and coordinating, we had figured it out so our family would stay in tact and still let the dancing begin. 

things happen and schedules change and plans change....everyday.  on the friday before our december gathering, with all of the planning and decisions and teeange drama, i recieved a text from school....it was grace.  her text was to let me know that the homecoming dance was cancelled
.
it had been postponed already.... from october because the swine flu had closed nearby schools.  grace was relieved at that news because that cancellation made her life easier....we were all planning to go to boston for the weekend....she didn't have to struggle with the choices.

the october dance was rescheduled to december and re-rescheduled to mid january. the downside is that the mid january homecoming dance appears to be only one weekend away from the winter formal.  these are all really just dances with fancy names.  in this day in age, it's really just an opportunity for girls to live life in the fancy  lane....not quite the red carpet, but everyone wants their moment to shine.

today is january 2nd, 2010.  today is our rescheduled date for our family christmas celebration, a date worked out when the blizzard began on december 18th of 2009.  we had planned to share our christmas gifts with everyone today....in horse country, in new jersey.....with our sister and brother in law.  they are a busy working couple with alot of scheduling involved in their lives.  they work really hard to keep the family together and love to host family gatherings since they are in an almost central location.  when the party is at their house, they go all out and prepare a feast and they don't even cook!

the phone rang last night.  my husband hung up and said, "we're bringing a salad tomorrow."  oh?  "to  jane and jim's"  huh?  yep....you guessed it.  the trip to new jersey, driving jane and jim, was cancelled.  everyone in new jersey was sick....sick with lots of wonderful food in the fridge.  which meant that we would not be driving jane and jim because we would be going to jane and jims....for our re-rescheduled christmas.  and that's unfortunate for our new jersey family, being sick and not even wanting to see food.

half of the family would not be able to make the trip.....too far.  we are only an hour away....it's kind of ...a relief.  and by the way, my husband is taking our daughter and a friend to a local concert.  so it's kinda nice to know we don't have that teenage time pressure!

there is a bit of a glitch in all of the planning and replanning.  once we knew we would be surprising the kids for christmas, with the news of our ski trip with friends, we knew that jane had one very significant present.  grace had asked for new ski goggles for christmas.  instead of receiving them in mid december, she would not see her grandparents until january.  christmas eve eve, my husband drove down to jane and jim's to rescue the ski goggles....to have at our house on christmas morning.

the other family that will be there already sent their gifts....we opened them on christmas morning.  t.j. has his grandparents to thank for christmas continuing through new years. grace has everything opened. the new jersey relatives have still not received our gifts...the kids are happy to have something to look forward.  ....we have lots more to give....if the plans get re-re-re scheduled for new jersey......and the relatives in virginia......

the gifts for virginia relatives and new jersey have been wrapped for months.  they won't be there.  jane and jim's gifts are mostly all wrapped.  we still have gifts lined up in the dining room.....all dressed up and no place to go....we have some gifts waiting to be wrapped.

with so much organizing for months, i'm not sure who has what and what goes with who.  i hope if all works out.  wrapping isn't all that it's cracked up to be anyway.  thank goodness that they make pretty colorful, christmas bags and tissue paper. even when i am organized, i can't be organized.

 i wonder if the homecoming dance and the winter whirlwind (my new name for it), will really happen in january.  oh, and that's grace's birthday month.  that always adds to the scheduling excitement.


we will finally have our christmas with family.

this is a great day for our kids to be reminded of the lesson......tis better to give than to receive. i think they have already learned that life is a little give and take.......they have learned to go with the flow...don't put all your eggs in one basket.....

.

letting go and trusting

happy new year.  we are only a couple of hours into the new year and i'm exhausted......our grace, 14, is out at a friends, for a new years party and sleepover. i asked all of the good parenting questions,  basic questions, like ....are her parents going to be home?, who else is invited?, what time? and after we talk to her mom, i'm sure you can go.   i trust my sweet girl.....i trust her good friends....i trust the mom and dad at the home she'll be staying.  there will be boys and there will be supervision.

i remember being a freshman in high school.  i remember alot.  i remember my behavior. i remember lots of the girls and boys i hung out with.  i remember the lessons i learned.....about friendships, trust, responsibility, staying honest and true to myself. i remember trying to do the right thing and not always doing it.  i .  remember knowing the difference between right and wrong.  i remember peer pressure and trying to act cool.  i remember some of the girls changing everything about themselves, around boys.  i remember being disappointed in friendships, i remember feeling like i was the only one in the world who wasn't perfect or model beautiful or confident.  i remember wanting a boyfriend so badly. i remember not  feeling pretty enough to have one. i remember thinking the boys liked other girls more than me .  i remember feeling like there was no one in the world that i could trust.  i remember  thinking my family was not as great as their family.
 
i know those are all of the same feelings that girls have today...only, girls today seem to have all of these feelings magnified.  i know this is a time where my litttle girl is going off independently, making choices everyday that will lead her down her own path.  it's her path and i can't pave it or sweep it for her. as parents, all we can do is trust her and pray that we have taught her well and showed her by example.  i want to tell her all of my mistakes and save her from the difficulties and dramas and delicate feelings.  but, that would be a disservice to her and to her character.  i love her so much, it's hard to let go......but that's all we can do is let go and trust her to know the right thing to do or learn the harsh lessons that come when poor choices are made.

our son t.j., 13 is at home with us tonight.  he is growing too. he is feeling as though we are not the parents he would like us to be. he is frustrated with us.  he is great at letting us know his feelings.  he is frustrated with his life.  he wants to be better....he wants to be the best at some things and doesn't feel that he ever will. we talk and talk.  he yells and tells us his strong feelings and emotions. it is so hard to hear our son be so hard on himself.....he doesn't see his own strengths....he doesn't know how long it takes to recognize one's own strengths.....he doesn't understand why some kids have things come so easy and others try and try and still aren't good enough.  he doesn't know that they just appear to come easy.he doesn't know that some things that come easy to one kid may be a stretch for another and  that's everyone. as a first grade teacher once said, "everyone here is best at something."  i loved that...it's true...just hard to believe when you're 13.

his feelings are intense.  we want him to know we've had those same feelings.   he doesn't believe us....he can't imagine anyone understanding.  he is sad and frustrated and our hearts are breaking just to hear him speak.  we can't make the pain go away...we can only give him the tools to deal with the pain. we try to show him how much we care and how much we believe in him.  he wants no comforting from us......we give what we can.  he too, has to find his own way.  we can show him and steer him but, we can't do it for him.

as a mom, that's all i have ever wanted to do.....to take their pain for them...to make it better and not have the pain hurt so much.  it makes my heart ache.  sometimes when i see our kids in pain, it makes me feel helpless.  it makes me feel as though i have failed them....that i haven't made them strong enough to withstand the pain.  then, i remember that they have their own paths to take.

as my husband and i  looked up the mountain, while skiing this week, i pointed to the tracks of the skiers and snowboarders in the snow...tracks and tracks....we watched all of the different skiers and all of their different styles, coming down the mountainside.  we noticed the way some were well prepared for the freezing cold.....we noticed others that hadn't thought out the details....we watched some who were invigorated by the challenges and the cold and others who were paralyzed with fear of the terrain and in tears because of the cold.  we noticed parents who were stressed out by their children and parents who were relaxed, and enjoying the moments.

it was by the mountain, looking at the skiiers tracks in the snow, that i realized each of us has our own path to take....going down the mountain.  we all have our own style, our own speed and our own feelings as we move through the snow.  on the coldest day, it can feel like a day at the beach for some and for others, it can feel overwhelming just to get off the lift at the top of the mountain.  some get off the lift and just zip down immediately.  others have big discussions and adjusting to take care of before they even consider the run.

i am so visual.  that mountain allowed me to see that we each have our own path to take.  some of us get bumped in the tight spots, some are just knocked over by surprise, some get bruised and jump right back up and others get banged up and need to rest or get bandaged.

i realized that no matter what paths our children take, all we can do is give them lessons and help build their confidence, stay by them  yet, give them some space.  we can protect them by clothing them properly and we can show them the way.  only then, are they free to choose their own path and do it their own way, learning as they go and falling at the tough spots.  we can cheer them on and let them know we can see their improvements and see how tough the terrain and the weather may be.....and they will feel better knowing we believe in them and trust that they know the way.......and we know they will make it down the mountain doing the best that they can,no matter how long it takes or how they do it and who they do it with. 

it's all about letting go and trusting.

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my first webcam photo! who knows what's next!

here we are....the end of the year on the cusp of newness!  i'm feeling so much potential.  i'm feeling like it's a new start....time to enjoy the changes that have occurred in the years past.  i'm  feeling proud of who i am today...and humbled by knowing how much better i can be....as a person, as a wife, as a mom, as an artist wanting to follow my dream of having my own business, as a friend....even as a blogger!

i love some of the ways that i have followed through in my life.  i love that i'm always open to new things and new possiblilites.  it scares me to think of getting older and letting go of my dreams or getting too stuffy and set in my ways.  that seems out of the question, especially if i want to grow.  it gives me hope for new things to learn and see and do!  people who are sure they have everything figured out and have everything done just so seem to scare me a little!  while they may see my life as chaotic or unstructured, i feel i'm just open to new people, places and things and styles and dreams!  i actually do enjoy structure and i need structure to keep it together, day to day!

certainly, as a mom. trying to do my best, i've worked really hard to have structure...for me and for our family.  while the observer may not see the order, it's there.  our kids have grown up with the gift of order and organization.  i know i must have a sort of mom a.d.d.  i only came to notice ti once we had two kids.  i really had to work hard to keep their world safe and calm.  simple things like not losing my car keys or my wallet!

a.d.d. seems to rear it's ugliness when i am distracted and not tuned in.

i have worked really hard to let our children grow up in a home that is calm and peaceful.  we enjoy the calm and love some chaos....when it's a kind of planned chaos or serendipity.  serendipity has been the joy of my life.  our children have learned the goodness of our sponteneity. ita keeps life fun.  it's nice to go somewhere on a whim.....and a prayer.....looking for fun.  i hope we have shown them, by example, that fun doesn't always have to be found.....it's right where we are...we don't have to look for something or someone better....we are already there.

i grew up thinking the fun was somewhere else. i didn't want to miss anything.....i still don't.  i've come to treasure being where i am.  i'm always open but i'm also glad to be right here with my family, wherever we are.  i used to fill myself with more things and people from the outside.....now i realize i'm here...we're here and we don't have to look any further.

it's been years of learning!  i'm the college girl who never closed the door to my room, not wanting to miss anything or anyone!  looking back, had i known this already, i might have been a better student.  as the chairman of my department said, "you are a better friend to your friends than you are to your books!"  and that is true.  and thankfully, i still have those friendships....that was the greatest gift of my college life.  besides, i have my college diploma over the washer and dryer now.  i know i have the smarts and i know college made me who i am.....i learned more life lessons than book lessons, that's true.  that's the real me though!  i can learn by doing way better than i can by book.  i admit, i'm the one who doesn't like to read directions.....i like to have it decribed to me.....maybe that's the artist in me....i'm much more visual.

as we all heard in the first decade of the twenty first century, i'm trying to be my "authentic self"........it was an '"aha" moment..... "it is what it is."........."at the end of the day..."....."24/7"....."whatever".

the needlepoint pillow that's my favorite is the one that says,"i wish i could be the person my dog thinks i am." that pretty much sums it up for me.  daisy pretty much accepts me as i am and she seems to think i'm great.  she doesn't seem to notice my flaws....not the way i do....not the way our new teens do.  i'm my own harshest critic....at least, i hope i am or i'm really in trouble!

our teens really pick at our flaws lately....and that's because they're always checking us out to see what it is about us that could be their next embarrassment.  so far, since our children are teens, we laugh too much and too loudly, our analogies are ridiculous, we're hippies if we talk about the way things used to be, we can't sing, we don't know how to text (i was recently accused of using gangster talk on my texts...apparently, my txt abbrev r no gd....i'm not even a cool texter) ......and God knows i text way too slowly, my lipstick is the wrong color, i should not blog, i should not try to act cool, i never did anything cool when i was a kid, i make funny faces that are not funny and so much more.  and i worry that i'm too hard on myself!

i have alot to learn and our children teach us lessons everday.  they certainly have taught me to slow down.....to enjoy the moment....because, in an instant, the mood may change or a text may change things for all of us!

it's exciting to start a new year. new years resolutions usually don't do it for me.  it's thinking of the newness and the possibilities.....the chance to try harder, do a little more, a little better at the little things and do the best with what we have and what we know so far.  i like to imagine what can be.....for all of us.  i mean, life is crazy.....i started a blog in 2009!  who'd a thought!  me. non-techno liz!  our kids laugh....and they make me laugh!  i too, think it's kinda crazy!  call me crazy and i'll know my life is good because i'll be trying something i've never done or doing something unconventional or seeing things in a new light!  that's great for me......to keep changing.....learning....growing....loving........looking.....believing....trying.....doing.....dreaming....living!

happy new year!  who knows what's next!

it's the anniversary of our engagement!

biff and i met ice skating on january 9, 1992!  we got engaged on the ice at rockefeller center in new york on december 30, 1993.  and there are about  9,732 stories somewhere in between.  one thing for sure, we love to celebrate anniversaries!  i love a good tradition and as biff says, "if it's happened once, it's a tradition!"

we had the longest meet story of anyone we know.  it began about 2 skating seasons before we actually spoke to each other. i grew up going to a local ice skating rink named christopher morley.  before that, the only place i had skated was at polliwog pond.  my dad used to take me and my friend, suzy to christopher morley.

i started skating at christopher morley one winter, when i decided to just do what i loved.....just for me.  just 'cuz i was tired of asking people to go skating and listening to everyone say they hadn't skated in years, couldn't and wouldn't even consider it!  it was then that i realized that i had a five year old niece, who lived nearby, who would love to learn and it would be a fun activity for us!

let the skating begin!  and we did.  every thursday night.  any weather, as long as their was ice.  we had a great time together.  it was fun for me to do what i loved with a little person that i loved!  who knew the love that would follow.  love is in the air!

we skated together thursday nights and sunday late afternoons.  we talked and skated and skated and talked.  we had birthdays on the ice for my niece claire and we brought claire's little friends.  it was a great activity for both of us.  i was getting great exercise and she was learning something new to master and give her even more confidence.

again and again, i noticed a nice guy skating on thursday nights. he wore a baseball cap, a windbreaker, bluejeans and hockey skates.  he had a mustache and horn rimmed glasses.  he was good looking and in good shape.  must work at brooks brothers....nearby....he has that kind of look!

so, round and round we skated for two seasons.  and one thursday night, my niece was not able to come skating.  she had a cold.  i was disappointed but happy to get myself to the rink.  i loved skating.  i always loved skating and it was fun with friends or alone.

that night, as i finished up skating, i took  off my skates, put on my boots, wiped off my blades.....and i walked out the door and up the ramp toward the car.

it was then that my life changed forever!  biff, just a bit ahead of me, turned to look at me and said, "where's your girl?"  i said, "my girl, everyone always thinks that!  she's my niece!  she has a cold!"

apparently, biff had tried many times to talk but becacuse my attention was on claire, i never noticed!  wow!  that story could go on and on and on!  thankfully, biff talked to me when he did, because for us both, the riming was just right!  no boyfriends for me....no girlfriends for him.  it was so nice that we met.  all i remember thinking was......wow! what a great guy!  that was so fun to meet him!.......even though i had seen him at the rink, it just was one of those things.....i wasn't there to meet someone,  it hadn't ever occurred to me.  i was really, truly skating because i loved it.....since i was little.

and so did biff!  he had been skating since he was very little and just loved it.  so, since he worked nearby, he skated there on thursday nights.

it was so much fun to meet at the rink.  we used to say "skate and date"....it made our "getting to know you" phase so easy and such fun.....and even claire got to meet him early on!  that was great too!

the year flew by.....he knew my favorite numbers were 123......we had talked about marriage...we had met each others parents......we had met each others friends.....we had lots of skate dates and lots of walks on the boardwalk.  we had rollerbladed to the beach when the skating season ended. we had boogie boarded together.  we had seen movies together.  we had gone to concerts together.  we had gone to baby baptisms together. we had gone to weddings together.  we had vacationed together.  we had fallen in love on the ice!

we got engaged on the ice at rockefeller center.  that story of getting engaged could go on til next year.  he did get down on his knee, on the ice....with the christmas tree at rockefeller center right behind him!  he said, "liz, we do such crazy things together..............let's do crazy things for the rest of our lives.......will you marry me?"

that's when tears began pouring down my face......happy tears......tears of joy!  of course, the answer was yes!

my life is better because of him.  he makes me a better person. we work really hard to work together.  we love each other and we try to show it everyday.  we have our bothers and pecadillos....and we talk them out.  we work together to figure out the hard stuff. we do our best to parent. we try....and try....and try.  we respect each other. we respect each other's families.  we love them.  they are the ones who have made each other who we are.  we love to be with each other.  we appreciate the others need to be alone.  we love our children deeply.  we love our own families.  we love our friends. we love each other.  we believe in each other. we support each other. we trust each other.  we are best friends.  we show our love for each other every day.

and although my nickname from my mom was little mary mix up, he doesn't even blink....when one of my life mixups occurs.  thank God that one of his greatest gifts and one of my greatest gifts is  a sense of humor.  we are serious about our lives, but our sense of humor saves us from the drama of life.  and life has alot of drama.  we trust in God.  we trust each other to look out for each other.  we are truly in love and treasure our love everyday....even when we're too tired to shout it from the rooftops.   it's the quiet that's the best......the quiet knowing and trusting.....that we are partners side by side.

anniversaries and traditions are fun.  what's not to love.....we met ice skating and got engaged on ice.....let's celebrate!  it's the anniversary of our engagement!

mixing it up a bit!

we have had a wonderful time skiing/snowboarding ....it's so great for our family to get out together....enjoying some of the fun in life!  that's when life is good.  no mom saying, "did you do your homework yet?"..."please empty the dishwasher"......"get off the computer now!"  it certainly is good for all of us to enjoy outdoor sports and activities together.  just getting away gives us all a new perspective and a relief from our busy lives.  just us.  

mixing it up a bit....that's how my husband and i see it.  when we're out and about, with friends and seeing lots of other people....it just seems to mix it up a bit.  we have us and that's great!  but, take us, move us, shake up the routine, mingle and meet and look at things and people with and without all of us.....it's mixing it up a bit!

we did.  since our early dating days, we always said, "we meet the nicest people wherever we go!"  it's true.  we dated, got married, had kids, had dogs.....and with each new endeavor,  we meet the nicest people wherever we go.  i think that's just 'cuz we expect to meet nice people.  actually, while we were dating and staying out in the hamptons during the summer, we found a great old,rundown,  ramshackle building that looked like it had once been a very small sailing club....maybe a beach community on the bay.  riding our bikes, one beastly, hot summer day, we wandered down a dune swept breezy lane and  the sight of the delapidated shack was a relief to both of us.........it was on the water, so we could sit on the dried out,  splintered, sunwashed dock and splash our sunburned feet in the cool water.  we sat back and imagined how it used to be.  we imagined the families who once enjoyed barbeques, beach parties and baoting in common.  we imagined the relaxed atmosphere of the location. we imagined the sunny days of summer there and the early fall as the families departed for their other lives back at home, somewhere else, somewhere that life was not as simple.

we loved that spot.  we brought friends back by bicycle. we took pictures. we laughed about what we could do to the place.  we dreamed of bringing it back. we dreamed of the days to come and the life that would be there.  we dreamed of the twinkling nights at night with families dancing to smalltime bands. we dreamed of colorful bathing suits, beachballs and keds, the sneakers. simple life.  very simple life just for people who were just "nice".  we dreamed of the name posted on the sign out front...."the nice people's club", for nice people.

we like to mix things up a bit. when we're out and about....just having fun with us and with others we meet along the way.

it's really not that corny.  it sounds corny.  we're not that corny! 

so, while we were up in new hampshire, we had to rent some skis....for us.  we stopped into the store, the one my daughter pointed out....because she saw the advertisement in a local magazine, they had great skis.....colorful skis by a name brand surfer company.  what fourteen year old girl could resist?  that was our ski stop.  they had just the right skis for us.

we saw a "life is good" store across the street in the very small summer/winter "resort" town.  who doesn't love a life is good store?  the t-shirts always crack me up.  while my husband got me a cup of coffee at dunkin donuts, grace and i ran across to do a "speed shop" ...we shopped, the salespeople were friendly and approached gently to offer help, but only if we needed it.  as we made our choices, my husband came in.  he had my small coffee with milk.  we were paying and i took a peek under the lid. "yuk", i said.  what?  it was the wrong kind. it was back coffee with sugar.  "epic fail!", as our kids would say.  my husband recoiled and said, "oh no!"........now, he's a man who has learned the perfection of just the right amount of milk with just the right amount of coffee.  it's not that he cares.....he takes his coffee black...it's that he respects my fragile coffee self.  with an uncanny desire to have my coffee, both hot with a capital H and just the right "color" coffee.  my pecadillos are many.....it pleasures me to know that i have friends with similar coffee pecadillos....go figure.  it more than pleasures me that my husband knows these pecadillos and loves me despite them!

well,  "we meet the nicest people.....",  a woman in the store seemed to understand  our concern.  as a local, she assured us, "go back and tell them that it's wrong, they'll give you another!"....we weren't sure.  she prodded.  why?  because she had the same pecadillo.....the coffee pecadillo.  my husband returned with a new coffee and we began to get in the car.  he said, "look what the woman wrote on your cup!".....i looked.  i laughed.  i said, "wait, i've gotta show this to the people in the store!" i ran in and showed them my cup that read, "sorry for our mistake....hope you enjoy this one!"......everyone in the store was happy to share the coffee joy and we all had a good laugh.  and off we went!

the next day, at the mountain, we were buying our lift tickets and we heard someone say, "hey, did you get a good cup of coffee this morning?"  it was our newfound, "life is good"friend, from the store.  she was working at the mountain.  we all had alot of laughs.  we introduced our friends, who would be skiing more than us this winter.  we bumped into each other again and again.  we all had alot in common.  we said our big goodbyes after three days.....just goes to show you, "we meet the nicest people..."

life is good, especially when we're mixing it up a bit!

thankfully!

as we like to say, time spent on vacation with our good ole friends is "a forced march through paradise!"  we have the best times together.  there are always lots of choices when we spend time together. we love them....they love us. so they say!  we have spent some of the most precious summers of our lives with them.....we have spent many fun filled vacations with them....we have spent weekends upon weekends with them.....we have celebrated many birthdays of our children together....we have spent some of our greatest family times with them.....our children have grown up side by side through the years.....we have lived through lots of family events.....we have shared in joys and sorrows......we have  been through the biggest of big..........playgroup!                  

after spending any amount of time with them, we leave with some of our greatest memories yet, WE ARE EXHAUSTED!  thankfully, for us, our friends are more of the "type a" variety, while my husband and i are more of the "type b" and sometimes a "type x, y or z"!  however, we get things done, we don't seem to have the planning and forethought as our "type a" friends.  we like to get the most out of a day......but they can do more, more, more! 

when we are with them.....we laugh about our forced march through paradise.   we tease them.  just as we are about to put our feet up, it's time to put our shoes on.   just as we are about to kick back, we get kicked in the butts.   just as we about to lay low, we are shot to the moon.........and we love it....every exhausted second of the march!

since we've had kids, our style has changed.  when we had new babies, i tried to maintain my busy lifestyle.....i was able to keep that going for a good, long time.  i lived, all dressed up, having places to go, people to meet.  i even had the car and carseats, baby "pack and plays", back packs, strollers, jog strollers and bike carts to get us there......while still maintaining my talbots matching belt buckles, hair bands and shoes.

it was when we lived up near boston, that i caught on.  i was in the museum of fine arts in boston, with a nineteen month old baby girl in a double, peg perego stroller and a three month old baby, t.j.,  being held close to nurse.  that was not the problem.....that was easy....i probably could have managed a lot more......like, a pet monkey and a baby chimp.....as long as they were strapped into a stroller with a snack!  my three month old was certainly able to eat on the go, with no problem, at his drive through window,,,,,me!  my nineteen month old, grace, was buckled into her super stroller! 

life was good as we sat in the fine arts gallery,  echoing our happy sounds,  as people pondered the beauty of all that surrounded us!   most important, in stuffy, old boston, i had my personal food mart breast  covered well by one of the cute cotton blankets that my new baby boy had recieved as a gift.  incognito.....even his big sister, at nineteen months, thought he had "ho-mu-la", otherwise known as formula.

all was well in my world....my life was full.  this stay at home mother thing was just great.  i didn't have to stay home all day.....eating bonbons and cleaning spit up!  i was able to get up, get everyone dressed.  coordinated, of course.  when i mentioned that i coordinated our clothing, my mom said, "well, why not?  you]'re the one who has to look at them all day!"  she seemed to think that was normal....after all, we did want to always be our best, didn't we?  and look our best?  of course.   as long as we all looked good were able to keep up an active life like i had before children, life must be great! look at me!  i can do it all!......kinda!

that was then......way back then.  and that day, the boston museum of fine arts security guard approached me.......that man changed my whole life....and the lives of our children and my husband!  what could a security possibly have done to change my life, you ask?  i wasn't plotting or planning a heist.  i didn't even have room in our 800 square foot condo to hang a poster from that museum, muchless an actual oil painting from the impressionest period.  he quietly stepped over to our little snack stand, where i was sitting on a bench.   he quietly, as only a museum security guard can mutter, "there is no eating in the gallery m'am." .......eating?   "we are not eating", i whispered.  t.j. was covered.  the guard, serious and sobering, stated that "the child is dispensing cereal."  yes, that's true, i told him.  "my baby has a few cheerios........but, that's not food sir!"......."that's survival", i insisted.  he chose to differ.  we put away the visible cheerios and after our food fest, we took some time to educate my budding geniuses while strolling through the remainder of the gallery.....walked to the car and drove home.

that's not the end of my story.....i spoke to my mom that night.  she asked me her ususal question......"what did you do today?"......i told of my adventures.  we laughed.  i described my indignant response to the security guard.  i hung up the phone.  when i kissed my babies that night, i realized that i had not taken them to the museum to educate them...haha....but, i had gone to the museum to prove to myself  that i could still do anything i wanted....even if one itty, bitty baby, who did not care where he was, as long as he had me at his disposal, did not care about fine art.......and neither did my nineteen month old baby girl.......although a perfectly intellectual little lady!   i realized i had taken them to that museum so that i would have an answer for my sweet mom.....the mom who had asked, for my whole life, "what did you do today?"

actually, it was then that i realized, my little babies did not care where we had been.   they really only cared if they were fed and clean and had some loving attention.  and that's what matters.  everyday. everwhere. anyhow. any way.

so, finally, i realized it was the, "how are you?" that really mattered......not so much the "what did you do today?"......as long as we were all happy and healthy and living well.....for us!

that security guard changed everything.    i slowly but surely began to prioritize, for me, what mattered.  i stepped away from a few "foofy doo doo" clubs, as my good friend called one of my womens organizations!  that security man made me realize that some of the "Foofoodoodoo" clubs really didn't matter to me, my husband or our babies!  and our lives got better and better, for us.

oh, we sure did alot....like baby ice skating.....with our little babies on the ice as soon as they could walk, maybe not even talk yet!  we walked miles with our double jog stroller, we met everyone in the world on our walks.....the mailman, the u.p.s. man, the neighbors, the store owners, the barber, the police, the fire fighters, the community.

we also prioritized our friendships.  we spent more time with people who really made us all happy....people we all had a great time!  life just got better and better!

and that's when our "type a" friends became really good friends with us.....we had slowed down....we actually had more time to spend....."quality time", as it became known, in the nineties.......we let go of some of the social groups that we found boring and phoney baloney and frankly, "foofoodoodoo"!

so,  as we changed, our lives changed.  as our lives changed, we changed.....all for the better.  and because we are more likely to be tagged,  "type b.....type x, y, z",  by our great friends......it's o.k........because, even though it's possible to make them crazy on occasion......we are not likely to go head to head trying to control andy situations......even paradise!   because of that security guard, back in 1996, we can be in paradise and enjoy any forced march we are exposed to......especially with friends.   sometimes, for us, it's great to have friends push us through paradise!  because, with some friends, we don't even have to be in paradise to have fun!   thankfully!

ho! ho! ho! it's daisy

do it all again tomorrow!

 

wow!  what a day!  everyone was up bright and early, dressed, had breakfast, brushed teeth, got our gear on and clomped out the door.....to a spectacular, snowy day! we all were bundled up and ready to go......all dressed up and no place to go......we were waiting for a shuttle.......to take us from the condo to the mountain.....to buy the tickets......to get on the mountain. as we all waited, we began to doubt ourselves and the shuttle timing. after lots of snowballs and debating our sanity, the bus arrived.....and we rumbled up the mountain road to to the lodge.....

and the fun began.  our friends, ski much more than us...they are way more experienced than us! we still marvel at our kids and how they truly enjoy one another and are always genuinely delighted to spend time together. talk about fun! friends who could easily hurdle down the hill, bombing down to the base lodge......instead, they gently meander with our family....3 skiers and 1 snowboarder......all adjusting to a new ski season and working very hard to get acclimated....just to get moving well enough to really have some serious fun.

all of these kids have been together since before they could walk and talk. the two older kids, 14, have birthdays within a couple of weeks of each other.......the boy, loyal and true to the girl, stayed with her and coached her and laughed with her and helped her push herself further than she knew she could today. certainly, as grace's mom, I know she can do just about anything when she puts her mind to it! although, instruction coming from her mom or dad can be most frustrating.....for her! more then us.

the two 13 year old boys look out for one another too. our snowboarder and his lifetime buddy go side by side, with lots of turns and twists and tumbles for our stubborn snowboarder, struggling to keep himself upright....it was a lot of work....just to keep his chin up....mentally and physically! it really was determination that kept him going. thankfully, he had lots of success skateboarding....he knows how to work hard and know the payoff.

the day was great....mostly achieving a level of success...certainly frustrating for our son, because he hurt his wrist …..a common snowboarder problem

we all took a break, had some lunch while the snow kept falling on a picture perfect day. t.j. and I took an earlier shuttle back to the condo...he was exhausted and aching. I was soaked and it was clear he had reached his limit.....it's not often that he would pack it in and leave his good friends and fun. he worked so hard.....he really needed to lay low for awhile. we each had a shower and some mellow time and before we knew it, the others were back. laughter filled the condo. no sooner were they warmed up, filled with snacks then they were off to the pool and racquet ball courts.

after some delicious homemade chicken soup, everyone had some mellow time......hanging out, watching t.v.and laughing, then off to bed....everyone was pretty tired ......no phony phone calls tonight!

as you may notice.....i too, am exhausted.....and need sleep....so we can do it all again tomorrow!quet

family, friends, snow and skiing!

we're here! we've had a great day up in new hampshire......we haven't been skiing, as planned. it's been raining all day. we were looking out the window this morning, trying to get oriented....my husband thought it was really hard rain...until he realized that he was watching ice float down the river.

we had a lazy morning...with the adults having a quiet start with lots of well brewed coffee and lots of discussion of how to spend the day. we ended up rolling with the energy in the air...the kids were all tired after staying up too late, making ridiculous phony phone calls......it's tough to be hard on them.....when we know they were harmless, ridiculous and spontaneous.....and it's something we grew up doing.

it's like growing up with television...we had a lot and today, people think growing up with I love lucy and the brady bunch and the partridge family and get smart and bewitched and I dream of jeannie and that girl and please don't eat the daisies and the ghost and mrs. muir......these were some of my closest friends....

when my 14 year old left for high school, I shouted after her, “try not to be like jan brady and sign up for every activity.....just to be popular!”....she turned and rolled her eyes....pretty much saying, with no words, "you don't have to worry about that mom, jan brady is lame!”....hey, I wanted to be jan brady! well, sometimes I really wanted to be marcia....except for when she got hit on the nose with a football and said, as it hit her, “ooh! my nose”.....the trauma was so bad that she kept having flashbacks of “ooh! my nose!”

sometimes, when something goes wrong at home, I say to my husband in a singsong voice, “ricky!”....and he'll shout from the other room, “lucy?”......i grew up with lucy and ethel's antics.....goodness, some of my greatest bits of my life have been based on lucy and ethel.......and the fun they had getting in and out of situations. for my husband, it was sheer torture to sit and watch them get themselves out of those circumstances.......how ironic for him....he married me....lucy was my idol.

when I have some grand scheme or a plan to clean, organize, build or travel somehow without much thought of a time line....or realistic outlook.....my husband will either pretend to twitch his nose like samantha in bewitched or blink his eyes and fold his arms across his chest and hummmm the I dream of jeannie theme song!

and i'm supposed to reprimand these kids for a little prank call? as long as they're not playing norman in the movie "psycho" and keeping the language clean and laughing with their caller of choice.....i think it's o.k......as long as they are respectful and kind.

I still remember being at a slumber party in 7th grade, waking up in the morning and making multiple phoney phone calls....on especially memorable ones was to a friends mom, who was from another country and was a little mixed up with her english........i notified her that if she was abler to sing the theme song to campbell's soup, she would win a years supply for her family! she hummed and sang the song and wow! was she proud!.....we were hysterical.......they are some of the greatest friends of a lifetime.....all in good fun.....and we still laugh about it today

after breakfast this morning, we all watched a new d.v.d together and had a lot of laughs.we had some mellow morning....just having fun with friends....who could ask for more. we all jumped in the car to see the town, have a very late lunch.......grace calls it “linner”...lunch and dinner. we came back to the condo and exchanged christmas presents and had a lot of laughs. fun kids and fun moms and dads.

and some pool time...some mom speed shopping time....some more time at the condo reading, watching t.v. and talking.....................then, to bed.....to rest up for, hopefully, a snowy mountain with happy skiers and lots of fun together.

no camera....no pics....my camera is broken again! it's so hard for me to just let it go....i've been having so much fun taking random pics! I don't know how long I can last......especially with these kodak moments of the christmas season …....friends, family, snow and skiing !