things that made a difference along the way!

museums - cabanas -

city - driver's license - - new york city -babies

-sail -  crayola crayons -

-ice skate - daydreams-

-sing on stage - church -
- bicycles - family -

-college - crazy bosses

-ski- new york city - -saks fifth avenue - dogs - boston -  art - ocean - magic markers -  hiking - jog strollers -  kittens - laughing -  family - 

-biff - europe -travel
-art lessons - polliwog pond - kindergarten
- friends - teachers-

- cape cod -summers -
languages - moves - singing - outward bound - broadway shows - school plays - creativity - small towns - big cities - kids - just some things -on and on and on and on and on!

what a day!  up and atom and on the go!  today was an e-bay day! work...work...work! and lots of fun. 

i survived another day at the post office.  for most, that's no accomplishment to even mention.  for me, it's a heroic act of bravery!  it takes a hero to make it to the post office with 8 packages, packed nicely, addressed, carried the hefty load to the car with the 2 golden retrievers frolicking all the way. 

one coffee from starbucks...that fitzy found to be a  mid afternoon pick me up, managed to drink without spilling a drop on my fabulous e-bay  merchandise. oh, she did spill but, what coffee she did spill, daisy managed to quickly slurp it up! 

and that's just before i left the driveway.

as i was backing down the driveway, t.j. came running after me...he was desperate for some danon gogurt...

he just had some sort of lisping device put into his mouth at the orthodontist this morning....it was imperative. it was the only thing he could eat.  he traded his whole lunch for a gogurt today...just to have something...anything....any  morsel.  

quite a bit on my plate for a woman with post office issues.  i was determined. i had lots to get in the mail.  after t.j.'s desperate plea, i hit the gas and made a break for it!

i got over the first hurdle smoothly.  there was parking right outside of the post office. 

while i had the immediate packages all set to go, there were some that i was hoping to send on their way once i found the right size boxes.  that's what i tossed and tangled with outside of the post office...i had tissue paper and bubble wrap and new address stickers and markers....while the doggies looked over my shoulder....fitzy eager to grab another cuppa joe.

have no fear! i managed to get into the building just in time for the long 5 o'clock line!  the woman postal worker didn't even scold me for slipping in the door at the last minute....like she had done on friday...which further scarred me and caused some postal customer shame.  I managed to carry my slippery envelopes and tumbling boxes to the counter to ship out.

in just a few moments, i was skipping out the door.  another day at the office...the post office.

happy mother's day!

lots of good wishes,

littlemarymixup

LOVE THAT PINK!

MOM'S COLOR THAT WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE...JUST LIKE MOM!  I LEARNED ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF LIPSTICK A AN EARLY AGE!  MOM USED TO SAY,"WELL, I JUST THOUGHT IF I HAD MY  LIPSTICK ON, IT WOULD BE NICER FOR DADDY TO SEE ME IN THE MORNING!"  AND THAT'S HOW IT WAS...FOREVER AND EVER...AMEN!

LOVE THAT PINK BY REVLON FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.

TIL THE END....

NOT KIDDING!

WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I WAS BORN INTO AN IRISH CATHOLIC FAMILY! MY MOM TOOK THAT SERIOUSLY. WEDDINGS, WAKES AND FUNERALS....THAT'S US!  WEDDINGS, WAKES AND FUNERALS WERE A HIGHLIGHT OF LIFE!  FAMILY GET TOGETHERS AND ALWAYS A CELEBRATION! 

WEDDINGS! CHECK!

WAKES!         CHECK!

FUNERALS!   CHECK!

SO, THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS LITTLEMARYMIXUP STORY....I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS MY MOM AND WISH SHE WAS HERE THIS MORNING HAVING DONUTS AND COFFEE!

ACTUALLY, MOM WOULD LOVE THIS STORY AND I THINK THAT SHE'D BE PROUD OF ME....BECAUSE I LOVED HER SO MUCH THAT I DID THE RIGHT THING!  EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A TAD UNCOMFORTABLE TO TAKE CARE OF AND UNCONVENTIONAL FOR A WAKE...FOR MY OWN MOM!

IT WAS JUST 2 YEARS AGO.  ALTHOUGH IT WAS THE SADDEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE HAPPIEST OF TIMES!  IT WAS AN IRISH WAKE...AND ALL OF OUR OLDEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO LOVED MOM SO MUCH WERE THERE!  THE ROOM WAS FILLED WITH LOVE AND MEMORIES AND GREAT STORIES AND LAUGHS AND TEARS AND SWEETNESS.  I FELT LIKE MOM SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TOO!

WAIT, SHE WAS!  IN SPIRIT AND IN BODY...OPEN CASKET IRISH.  I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT CATHOLICS WERE SO INTO THAT.  I UNDERSTAND THAT IN THE OLD DAYS IN IRELAND, THEY HAD THE LOVED ONE IN THE LIVING ROOM AND WHEN THE DRINKS WERE POURING AND THE MEMORIES WERE ROARING, THERE WAS DANCING AND SINGING AND FUN.  IT GOT SO CRAZY THAT THEY HAD TO STAND THE BODY AGAINST THE WALL TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE DANCING!

IN THE LAST 10 YEARS OF MOM'S LIFE, WHEN BIFF ASKED MOM HOW SHE WAS, SHE WOULD SAY, "OH, I'M ALWAYS TROTTIN' UP TO FAIRCHILD'S THESE DAYS!"  THAT WAS TRUE.  FAIRCHILD'S WAS THE LOCAL FUNERAL HOME WHERE EVERYBODY WHO IS ANYBODY GOES....EVENTUALLY!  MOM AND HER FRIENDS WOULD COME BACK AFTER AN "EVENT" AND THEY'D SAY, "OH, SHE LOOKED BEAUTIFUL...THEY DID SUCH A GREAT JOB!  JUST LOVELY."

IT WAS MOM'S MOMENT!  I HATED THAT PART.  I APPROACHED THE OPEN CASKET WITH BIFF AND THE KIDS.... TO KNEEL DOWN AND SAY A PRAYER.  AS WE WERE KNEELING, IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT OF MY LIFE, AND WHILE I WAS BEGINNING TO TEAR UP, AT THAT MOMENT....I REALIZED SOMETHING THAT MOM WOULD NEVER HAVE ALLOWED...........HER LIPSTICK WAS THE WRONG COLOR!  AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, HER INFAMOUS STYLE WAS LACKING.....HER ST. JOHN KNIT THAT SHE HAD SAVED FOR A BIG EVENT....THIS ONE....LOVELY AS THAT WAS......SHE HAD NO PEARLS AND JEWELS THAT WAS HER TRADEMARK!

SHE WOULD HAVE DIED!

THAT WAS WHEN MY SISTERLIKE FRIEND FROM COLLEGE ARRIVED.  SHE WAS THERE TO SAY A PRAYER....SHE WANTED ME TO BE THERE WITH HER....OF COURSE.

WHILE WE WERE UP "WITH MOM," PATSY AND I TALKED...OF COURSE, WE TALKED ABOUT HER STYLE...AND THE TROUBLE WITH HER ACCESSORIES AND EVEN WORSE!  HER LIPSTICK WAS MORE LIKE MOVIE QUEEN MAUVE RATHER THAN "LOVE THAT PINK!"

JUST THEN, MY FABULOUS SISTER IN LAW, CARY, MOTIONED TO ME....SHE HAD THE JEWELRY.  PATSY WENT OVER TO CARY AND GRABBED THE "INSTANT STYLE"......PATSY AND I WHISPERED AND MADE OUR PLAN....WE HAD TO.... WE RIGGED AND JIMMIED AND ADJUSTED AND PLACED HER JEWELRY AND HID ALL OF THE CLASPS.....WE HAD TO BE DISCREET....PEOPLE WERE THERE...TO "VISIT"......

WE GOT HYSTERICAL...WE HAD TEARS IN OUR EYES...APPROPRIATE MAYBE, BUT THE TEARS WEREN'T FOR SADNESS...WE HAD THAT KIND OF NERVOUS LAUGHTER THAT WE'VE HAD  IN CHURCH FOREVER.....SHAKING AND LAUGHING....LAUGHING AND SHAKING!   JUST LIKE MARY TYLER MOORE WHEN CHUCKLES THE CLOWN DIED!  TAKE A SECOND TO ENJOY THIS YOU TUBE VIDEO....MY MOM AND I LOVED IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwC361O13gk

WE DID IT.  LIPSTICK WAS NOT SOMETHING I WOULD ATTEMPT....DEAD OR ALIVE.....I WAS ABLE TO SPEAK TO THE WOMAN IN CHARGE....WITHIN MINUTES, LOVE THAT PINK WAS ON! WE WERE READY FOR THE PARTY. LIPSTICK AND PEARLS.  CHECK.

ON THAT NOTE, THERE WE WERE...ONE LAST "PARTY" FOR MOM!  O.K. THAT'S AN EXAGGERATION!  IT WASN'T THAT FESTIVE.  JUST KIND OF FESTIVE....TALKING AND TELLING STORIES AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

MOM WAS DRESSED FOR HER PARTY!  BEST OF ALL, SHE HAD HER LIPSTICK ON...LOVE THAT PINK! SHE WENT OUT IN HER STYLE!  SHE HAD ON HER LIPSTICK....FOR DAD!!

STILL....TO THIS DAY.....PATSY AND CARY AND I HAVE OUR LITTLE SECRET....WE DID IT FOR MOM!  AND FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS...WHO WOULD GO HOME WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND SAY, "SHE LOOKED LOVELY, DIDN'T SHE!"

AND OF COURSE, "FITZGERALD", "FITZ" WAS NAMED AFTER MOM.....BECAUSE WE ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN....BESIDES FITZ WAS BEAUTIFUL......DAD ALWAYS CALLED MOM "FITZ"!  MOM GOT A KICK OUT OF IT!  IT'S IRONIC THAT FITZY THE DOG  ALWAYS GOES FOR MY LIPSTICK....REVLON, BURTS BEES, COVER GIRL, L'OREAL......LIKE MOM, SHE JUST LOVES HER LIPSTICK!

prepnextdoor is a little blog that i've started.  it came to be while i was out shopping with grace and kaitlin.  the photos became a fun little game for me while the girls were on their own, gaining just a little independence....

i walk through stores all of the time and think about the possibilities everyone has....at any income...starting out....on a budget.....spending money on rent in new york city, boston or any city....just thinking...and how my mom would love this....we talked about our finds all of the time...we shopped together....we talked about shopping long distance....style was my mom's middle name.  if you have taste, you can shop anywhere....she always said....and i'd like to prove her right!  little hints and ideas ....thinking of mom...one of my very best shopping partners in crime!

whenever we showed enthusiasm over any item in a store, any store...whether in london or paris or t.j. maxx, we would gather a crowd of curious shoppers.  we learned to whisper and talk in code! 

i've just explained that to grace.  it's in the gene pool....we've gathered a crowd too.  i had to teach grace out code of shopping....mom would be so proud.  grace learned at the knee of the best!  i'm proud that i did too!  i want to share that with you!

i should probably acknowledge, i'm just blog crazy....oh! and e-bay too!  imagine that just 6 months ago....i wasn't even computer literate!!  i'm getting to do what i love.  thanks mom!

happy mother's day!  i hope that you are all pampered on your day!

 do something surprising and fun for your mother.  treat yourself to something special...even if it's a new flavor tea or coffee or magazine 

 

or a bubble bath 

 

or a nap or a walk with someone you love 

 

or a walk alone or time to sit and just daydream or make a list of all of the people you love or write a list of all of the people who have sprinkled their love on you throughout your life 

or  go to a museum live or online or buy yourself flowers 

 

or take time to blow bubbles 

or call someone you love and miss!

or rent a chick flick alone 

 

 

or celebrate your day  with family or all on your own! 

 

eat bon bons! or just hershey's!

whatever you do, make this day your own to be thankful....for the family you have....your kids who call you mom....your mom who is near or faraway or an angel watching over you today!  

don't forget to be grateful for the women who you have in your life or you've had in your life who have made a difference....just by being there for you.

think of all of the friends who have shared their mom's and those women you've been blessed to have in your life.  

call someone who has made a difference or drop them a note or just send them good thoughts!

this is a day to enjoy.  guilt free.  keep it simple. really.  no guilt.  no lists. no agendas. no tasks. no to do's. no shoulds. no woulds. no coulds. no might haves.

just enjoy your day.

you have to. you must. you will. you need to. you should. you better, darn it! hallmark says so!

happy mother's day....to all of the mother's and mother's in laws and aunts who love their nieces and nephews like their kids, to the grandmothers and great grandmothers and......everyone! 

madisonctwalkswithdogs is one figured out  a blog that i started way back when i started littlemarymixup!  it's all with daisy and fitz.  just some pictures of our days....walking....the dogs....i guess you had that figured out already! i thought i should share it with you.  daisy came to us from the breeder some time around mother's day....she was a true gift to us all!  her sweet disposition has made life with our first family dog a joy!  she makes us all laugh.  she is well behaved and nurtures us all.

fitgerald, fitzy, fitz and "leave it!!!!" is the dog we adopted at 1 year old.  daisy was just 5 years old back then!  she helped to look after our frisky little food monger who so desperately wanted food and needed love.

daisy helped fitzy's adjustment period.  she slept in the crate we got for fitzgerald.  since fitzy apparently had some issues related to her crate...she HATED it and practically had to be picked up to get into her new niche that we had so happily prepared for her.  The only thing that we could figure was that perhaps she had been crated as a jail rather than her home for comfort.

Daisy took Fitzy on as her job.  Daisy went into the crate, with the soft and comfortable fleece puffy bed, to encourage fitz.  it worked. kind of.  daisy got her in....but not for long.  the only way we could have this bundle of energy was to have our sweet daisy sleep in the crate with her.

it worked.  daisy was happy to see a crate again.  it took fitzy a little more getting used to....it was a little different getting a puppy who had issues of abandonment after living with 3 families. 

the first family was a family with 4 children under 6 seemed to be a poor fit.  i can understand the IDEA of getting a family dog...maybe that wasn't the best timing on their part! we think fitz got some of her eating habits....food moochy, food obsessed, food compulsive and a food monger....and that's just the beginning...that's an understatement!  it seems that she may not have been out of the crate much and it seems she wasn't used to being on a leash and it seems that she had never been to the beach or the woods.  wow, a golden retriever who was a beast for food was more typical, but a golden retriever afraid of water?  that defied everything we knew of goldens!

she needed our help.  she did love our kitties and  adapted to them well.  she was sweet and loving with them.  she ate biff's  dinner right off his plate one night....while he was sitting there!  she ran through our neighbors' houses to introduce herself in the neighborhood.  she used to get a ride home from a family a few blocks away...she enjoyed the company of their german shepherd, lucy.  she was welcomed with open arms and biscuits at the dolan's.  the good news is that they loved her....and the bad news is that they loved her!

the dolan's were the first place she'd go if she was off leash in the woods.  why not.  fitzgerald?  dolan? what's not to love?  they probably had great sing alongs, corned beef and potatoes.  now she's living on a leash. forever!

so, that's how that blog came to be.  i wanted to document some of the fun i have and the

great places they "take" me!  I post the photos sporadically.  they make me laugh and they get me out on the best and worst days ....and even in pelting rain or snow, it's always great.

just sayin'.

these are the moments...those sweet moments...when our kids were so little....downstairs in the kitchen on mother's day....with their daddy....and lots of shhhhhshhhhshhhshhing going on!  those were  some of the most precious tid bits of life as a mom. hearing the pitter patter of the kids' excitement planning the big mother's day surprise breakfast! those were the days....when it was sweet....and that was what mattered....just the surprise that they had begun in school and planned out with biff.  that will hold me forever!

we've come a long way since then....everyone has grown and now, everyone feels that hallmark pressure....from crying moms on hallmark and long distance phone commercials....and now, even diamond commercials!

mother's day is a very nice and thoughtful time to say to the mom's we love, "oh my gosh!  it's mother's day!  what should we do? or better yet, what do you want to do for mother's day?"

not too much pressure for the husband... who's already got a mother. not too much pressure for the kids.  not too much pressure for the mom's.  not too much pressure for the  mom's who have mom's and mother in laws!

sounds like a great day!  in theory.  last year, i spent the day cleaning the garage....and for most of it, i was delighted to have the time to be there and get some order.  when t.j. came to me at about 6 o'clock or so and said, "mom. we want to go to the restaurant on the water for dinner" .... it created somewhat of a stir at our house.  Hmmmm, i said.  gee, it seems a little late to get ready for that NOW! 



i think i said something along those lines.  i guess i was thinking that maybe if they had mentioned that just a wee bit earlier, i could have gotten myself together....somehow.

t.j. seemed heartbroken.  i felt guilty.  i think i said something like.....hmmmmmm.....maybe if anyone had mentioned it a tad earlier, i could have gone.  i might have also said,  look at me, i'm filthy dirty and have dust and dirt from head to toe....it doesn't seem like the  right timing to go out.  the restaurant closes at dark.  perhaps we could go another night, preferably when i've showered.

oh my!  what a pickle!  in moments, the whole family was mad at me!  wait, but i'm the mom!  it's mothers day, i wanted to shout at them all.  how can i go out like this?   should i be flattered that they really don't think i look that bad?

it was one of those moments that we dream of....our family thinks we are beautiful and lovely no matter what we look like!  

with or without a bra, not showered, knee deep in garage treasures that are covered with dust and grime, dirty , chipped fingernails, hair in our face, a touch ripened and some sweat to round things out.  our fine attire has paint and grime  the love from smelly wet dogs!  

when my teens are usually horrified by me on a good day, when i think i look my best....great hair day, manicured nails, make up or at least my lipstick, coordinated clothing, deodorant, shaved legs and armpits, brushed teeth, jewelry, accessories and no broccoli between my teeth, no lipstick on my teeth and my zipper zipped even though i had to hurry to a lacrosse game or a teacher conference or to pick up my child waiting for me after school has been out for 2.3 minutes but i am considered late.... 

nobody is ever quite so taken with my appearance at those times.  last year was just one of those moments.  one of those mother's day moments....pressure for everyone to do something...even if it was to drag me out kicking and screaming, filthy dirty and crying, darn it, they were going to make sure i had a darn GOOD mother's day!  and i wanted no part of that hallmark moment from hell.  

usually, those hellish moments come on the hallmark imposed holidays....valentines day is another one that creeps me out.  i'd rather have biff make me my coffee...at just the perfect temperature.....all year long than have flowers or a card or a dinner out on valentine's day.

just not my thing.  great for anyone who loves it, just give me a few hershey's kisses and a real kiss and i'm good to go.

mother's day is great!  i miss my mom.  but phew, the pressure i used to feel to do something outstanding for my mom!  she never cared.  it wasn't something that was a big deal to her....she was happy for the love year round and not necessarily on that day.  actually, i wish she had been around last mother's day to hear what i behaved like...or at least to hear the description of what on earth i looked like that day!

so, here i sit, alone.  biff has gone out with grace and t.j. to "get something"....please don't let them live in fear...of me.....the mom!  ooh! the pressure!  please let them know that the best mother's day gift of all would be to just have fun together....doing nothing....maybe walking at the beach, getting along with no bickering or complaining.  i'd like to be clean, maybe showered with my teeth brushed.  that's it.

the greatest gift...truly...is that i still love my husband and i treasure our children...they have been the greatest gift that i could ever have dreamed of.....our family...our dogs...our cats....our fish.....our sense of humor.  Now if we could all just have that sense of humor tomorrow, that will be the greatest mother's day of all!

the dogs have given their love to me for mother's day and every day.....that's it .....just love, sometimes some licks.....  that's just fine.  no pressure.  just love.  no questions asked. they didn't care what i looked like either.

it was almost a month ago that we began our little flood in the basement.  funny, when we play that homeowner

game called "can you top this?" ....we always end up with someone saying, "wow! that stinks!"and how right they are....yes, we've won that game lately. 

really, was it a big deal in the scheme of life?  no.  especially now with the news of flooding in tennessee...now that's a flood.

we used to think a flood was when the kids put a toy boat in the toilet bowl and it floated away....whoosh!  like the tidy bowl man.....who, by the way lived in my hometown and was a lecture at church!  weird to have the tidy bowl man reading the gospel, huh?

but, i digress....again and again....and again.

that was when we lived in a condo.  we had the privledge of calling "julia's daddy"...eric.  he was the mr. fixit of the condo.  our little kids were enthralled with eric.  he could do anything...he was bigger than mr. rogers.  he had all of the answers.  he had all of the tools.  better yet, he had all of the patience!  our sweet little kids knew that when something went wrong that we just called "julia's daddy."  

oh how i wish he was with us now!  he got things done.  that was his job.  we are great at getting things done too.  except for one thing...and then another ....and then another!  no matter what project we start, another project pops up!

we work at getting things done...we just have a few interruptions.

dogs.

cats...not really.  unless daisy barks her "get the kitten" bark. that means business! as if she's saying, " come on!  i'm trying to get this kitten in for the night....let's get a move on!"

fish. they don't call for too much of an interruption.  unless they are floating and we have to take a break to have a memorial service and call in the neighbors to share our grief.

phone. life happens. the phone rings for pleasure calls. 

random kid calls.  

then we have the call

to hurry......like your hair's on fire calls to pick someone up after school!!!   or after a lacrosse practice...or a game  or cross country practice or a meet....

it goes something like this,"hi!  kanuupleezpikmeuppp?"

 

i say something to the effect of,"excuse me? could you repeat that please?" 

"isedkanupleezpikmeeeup?

andkannuuudrivesoandsoand what'shernameand pleezedtomeetyouhome?

yes.  i'll be right there...i'm painting the sistine chapel right now.  i'm almost finished. it will be a couple of minutes.

"waitizthatinyourtimeormytime?

and it's not even said in a sarcastic tone.  it's real.  it's a concern.  it's necessary information....as though there might be other appointments or a fight to the coast.

i wonder what that meant.  your time or my time?  that sounds like i'm some kind of mom who has abandoned my children on the side of the road...because i left them at school until after closing time and they have no food or drink or phone or text or friends or family.  hmmmmmm. have i done that EVER?

nope. nope. nope.  although i have had to take a few minutes to drive from cleveland, because i'm walking the dogs on a long walk or because i'm at the grocery store checking out.....or because i'm getting out of the shower because i've had dirt in my fingernails since 9:30 in the morning when i was potting plants.  otherwise, i'm ready to roll.  on call, on duty, on shift, on the clock....since january 1995.

i'm just that way.  i'm adaptable but since 1995, i have never been quick enough....never.  the child that was born on a january night in 1995 was crying when i went to her at the nursery in the hospital...to be with my baby again, after a long separation of about 7 minutes.  as i arrived in the nursery, a tad tired after 24 hours of waiting for my sweet little baby to be born, and i whined to the nurse, "oh, no she's crying!  I should have gotten here sooner, she needs me...i feel so guilty!"

that's when my darling nurse informed me that i shouldn't feel guilty because i'd have a lifetime of guilt to deal with as a mom."  casually and quietly she told me to get over that teeny tiny squeak that was emanating from my baby......it was a mere squeak and there were lots more cries to come and tantrums and body piercings and tattoos to follow.  

well, she nipped that in the bud...for about a minute...i took my teeny tiny baby with the sqeaking cry over to our rocking chair and gently whispered to her that i would never ever make her wait like that again.

i also told my itty bitty squeaky baby that by no means would i have any part of tattoos or body piercings.  i promised  her that i would always be there at her beckoned call.....forever. pretty much, i am....even if i let her think that i'm not.  she needs to know i'm always there for her.....and she also needs to know how to wait....how to plan her timing....how to check in....how to adapt....how to ask for help or aske for a ride.  she always has to be polite....or she'll walk home.

isn't that forever for a mom?  i think so.  sometimes it can feel like i'm a  tight leash.  sadly and happily, these days won't be forever....for either of our kids.  they'll be moving on.  they won't need us...they don't think that they need us right now....but, we're here.  always. always and forever and ever.

thankfully.

mother's day is around the corner. i'm still grateful that i got to be a mom......

WHAT WOULD I WRITE ABOUT?

so many posts, so little time.  i have not been writing with the same gusto that i used to have while writing. this is always a busy time of year with spring sports and meetings in the schools and the town.  i have always been active although i've tried to stay away from the ridiculous meetings filled with jabber about the color of flyers or the whose who of the committee chairpersons.  after working for so many years, that all seems trivial. 

my mom went back to work after years of being the Rosary Society President and chairwoman of communion breakfasts and so much more.  i thought that i would follow in her footsteps until my first years at home with babies.  somewhere between the junior league cocktail party and the black tie chili party and the nights out for the newcomer's club vice presidency, i realized i'd rather be home with my family than talking about them and what activities we could do with them....i know that was a run on sentence....but, my life began to feel like a run on and it wasn't fun for me.

that's when i stopped. cold turkey, as they say!  when we moved to connecticut, i decided to keep it simple.  i decided i would be involved only where it really mattered...to me and to our family.

that's that.  that's when i began listening to people and hearing their agendas. whether social climbing or p.t.o. climbing, i steered clear.  it finally came to me that i didn't  need to run the show anymore. after running our show in college and our city days, i was done.

that's that.  now i live freely and answer to no one but me, my conscience, some particular passions and my family, which is my passion...and there are days when i don't even get that just right.  overall, it's a better way to live.

blog life can get too busy too.  i love to write. but, why write and write and take so much time?  there are many things that need to be done at home.  especially, after the flooding, which now seems like a puddle compared to nashville and lots of real flooding down south. 

we finally have our washer and dryer.  we still have 2 giant dumpsters.  our basement is clean yet the walls have been ripped down.  our family room is filled with bins of e-bay to list. 

e-bay is now income for me.  i want to make that my contribution to our family.  i had a very hard time when i first stopped working and contributed only to the life of my baby.  that's a gift that i'll never ever regret.  but, i do remember the reality of not making money myself.  it was wonderful not to work and give attention to the baby that was my dream come true.  it was weird to be dependent....as i'm sure it was huge for biff to be depended on...talk about pressure.

sure, it would have been fabulous to have two incomes, but that was never ever a consideration.  my commitment was to my kids and their lives.  that is all that mattered to me.  maybe if i had been a brain surgeon or a high powered lawyer, that never would have come up.  maybe i never would have considered the possibility of staying home.  if i was contributing something major to society in some way, maybe it wouldn't have been possible to leave something i was so committed to.

thankfully i wasn't saving the world so i was able to be home with our children.  even then, it wasn't so easy, knowing our choice would make it a bit challenging and we wouldn't have a house as soon as we had hoped.  we knew that we would have struggles.  we knew biff would need time to develop a new sales position and territory.  we knew all of that.

still, we committed to do things the old fashioned way.  although i stayed home and biff worked, we had a wonderful partnership...we still do.  throughout some of our most challenging times, we have respected each other and realized the goodness and blessings we have in our lives.

that has made the difference.  for all of the obstacles, we have been side by side working them out.  challenges with challenging times....certainly our challenges have been minimal...challenges of parenting day to day and being on the same page while running a family has made a difference i'm sure.  support and love have made the difference.  grateful for and proud of each other and our children has made the difference.  our sense of humor has made the difference.  our flexibility  and malleability has made the difference.  our families and friends have made the difference.

right now in our lives, a contractor or a maid could make a quick difference, but that's o.k. because hopefully, at the end of the day, we have made the difference...in our life as a couple.... and a family.  that's all that matters.

although, i would still like the contractor....and a maid....oh, maybe a swimming pool and someone to serve me lemonade or iced tea....or maybe just a vacation would do it.....or maybe we could move to a new house with new appliances and new paint and new floors and new .......nah! 

what would i write about?  

funny, but this week i am exhausted.  i have lots of running around to do.  we spent some of the weekend out and about. it seems whenever we take some time away from the house when we should be taking care of our life and our home, leaving seems to make the regular stuff pile up.  Why is that?

today, i had a cup of coffee at my favorite farm for a bit of quiet.  The new life at the farm is just amazing to see.  They had a kitten there that the mother had left in the barn.  It must have been a week old. The sweetest thing to see in all of life is new life.  whether a kitten, a calf, a puppy or a beautiful baby, life is good.  a new life is miraculous.  just miraculous.  bigger than big.  bigger than life, if that makes sense.

to take a moment in the day and have something so simple be so big is a gift.  i need that time.  i need to stop and see the beauty around me.  it helps with the other chaos in life.

we still have 2 dumb dumpsters.  the good news is that the washing machine and dryer arrived yesterday!  my mom's anniversary!  she used to call them her toys.  who would think that i could be just as happy to get the new washing machine.  does anyone out there remember how excited i was when i finally chose the "right" vacuum!  it was a huge as marrying biff.  it was a vacuum that i could really enjoy.  we can work side by side, everyday.  we work well no matter how much stuff we have to deal with.  just like biff and i, the vacuum and i just have to suck it up sometimes and quite literally we have to go with the flow.  Sure, we get clogged up with  the dust and hairy bits of life....but we just keep rolling.  sometimes our cords are too tight.  sometimes, we just have to tug   and let it go, take some time to recoil and move to a way of thinking or a place that will give us a new outlet.  sometimes we all need that outlet.  time away from the tugs and knots in life.

well, the same goes for the washing machine.  the new one is larger. larger isn't always better.  sometimes with more, we jam things up. we get too full. too much to handle.  we start to shake, rattle and roll but not the music....our heads. too much gets us rattling and kooky.

the new washing machine is energy efficient.  we need some energy efficiency.  i have been running on spin cycle for quite some time.  i've been writing my blog. i've been working as an advocate for our kids and lots of madison issues.  i've been selling on e-bay to earn some income and release some of the excess of our lives.  

who knew how much fun e-bay would be.  who knew i would get here because of e-bay by way of facebook and my blog. 

it has been too much.  like a vacuum that's cord is being tugged out of the outlet and the washing machine that begins to rattle from an unbalanced load, i too have had too much on my plate.

sure, i'm a mom who doesn't "work"...funny, someone said, "how do you spend so much time on facebook?"  

it struck my funny bone and my bother bone at the same time.  all of a sudden, i became the norma rae of facebook

and wanted to stand up for all of the good relationships that facebook encourages. for some who are happy to live a very solitary existence, it may be just that.  a time waster.  i barely have time to stop in to facebook anymore. it's a bright spot of my day.  it makes me feel connected.  the e-mail thing has never done it for me.  it lacks warmth.  cold and with a click, it's gone.  i've never been good at that click... feeling that by pushing the send button, i would be connected.  dtheat send button and that open in box seems very superficial.

facebook, for me, is much more conversational.  yesterday, i posted my status...." it's mom's 2nd anniversary and i miss her everyday!"

wow!  so simple.  i did it to take a moment to think of mom. just a moment to stop and remember her.  i'm grateful for so many wonderful, caring, loving friends from all chapters of my life responded with caring words and memories.  now, that's all i need.  to know people understand and acknowledge how much we miss her and how much they care.  that's worth all of the 2  minutes time that i had for facebook yesterday.  today, i saw those comments and felt so good to have shared with so many who understand.

that's nice.  my washing machine in my head is tired from jamming too much into it.

i need to get some time in the dryer to roll with it.  just roll and relax.  i need to roll, relax and tumble in warmth and comfort and something to soften the busy-ness.  

warm weather and a great beach with turquoise water sounds good.  i ache for that.  now is not the time.  

i will get my heart warmed by the comfort of good friends and good family and good memories.

we've been through lots of "crap" in the last month!  excuse the word...i couldn't resist.  we need to dump the dumpsters and be free. we need to have clean and fresh with lots of new life...like the farm.  we need to look around and be grateful.  the miracles are there...we just need to stop, stay on the rinse cycle for awhile and stop spinning!

that's what i have to do. now.