share the wind!

a picture perfect day...blue skies. delightful.  dreamlike. not the dreary of last month.  i'm done with dreary. enough. it's time for some fun in the sun....right in our own home town. grateful? yes. very. very.

from the days that biff and i began our life together, learning about each other... our hopes...dreams...wishes and plans, biff and i became acutely aware that our life was meant to be near the water.  preferably ocean....preferably a coastal town....anywhere.....just plain and simple.....near the coastline.

we both always talked of living in connecticut.  it's very familiar to us.  we both have spent lots of time with good friends and family.....we both love and have special memories of summers past on new england beaches. 

sure, we talked about other places and possibilities for us. it's just that we both hoped to be near family...more or less.  we both felt comfortable with the landscape of connecticut.  for biff, much of the farmland reminded him of places in dutchess county, new york, where he grew up.  so much of the shoreline and seasons felt like home to me.  when we saw our "house to be"....we both had that "ahhhhhh" peaceful moment where we took a breath and exclaimed,"this is a great location...not far from the beaches....green with trees, shrubs and grass....and the most charming stone wall that tickled a spot in our hearts....the stone wall reminded me of my backyard and the stonewall reminded biff of the 1775 brick house farm and the lovely stone walls crisscrossing the landscape of his childhood.

so, here we are. we feel like we are where we are meant to be.  that matters.  we both loved our little village on the north shore of long island....the gold coast.  long island has had much growth since my childhood days was feeling too crowded for where we wanted to be.

our move to the south shore of boston was perfect for our new start...biff with his new job, newlyweds trying to build our own life together....our new baby...we were a family...our own family.  we were on our own as a family and that's just what we both needed.  it was a romantic time for us.  we had no family near us.  we only had a new life. a new family.  

it was a big move for both of us...leaving the closeness of family and good old friends.  but, we had each other.  we were a mom and a dad.  our move was with our sweet baby grace.  we had to adapt.  we were separated from the family....and we were thte ones who tried to be at every family function and most of our great friends and their family celebrations.....until we got to boston, we hadn't realized how much was expected of us...everywhere!  we were the ones who made the roadtrips to be everywhere for everyone!

enter....our little family in  boston.  it was new to us..being off on our own.  it was one of the greatest things that could have happened to us.....we were in our own new place with our own new us.....the family!

it was in the boston area where we learned to be a family.  it was that new area that made us.....us.  we had only each other. we had to make new friends....friends for us all.  it was our new life....together as a new family.  we have always felt that move was the best thing for us.  the timing was right.  we were meant to live our own life....while loving our family everywhere else....going to visit and having some loyal visitors.  we had gotten a gift!  we were treated to our own lives.....that we had waited so long to find......we were on our own with long distance support!  we had no obligations.  we had just us. thankfully.  we claimed our lives together.  we were the family...creating our own life together.

there were times that we talked of living in the carolinas....a little bit south and a little bit better cost of living. we had friends who had moved and loved it down there....maybe...should we....would we...maybe...hmmmmmm.  we walked through our teeny, tiny, sweet and magical mary tyler moore apartment....we realized the carolinas were not right...we knew it wouldn't fit. Everywhere we looked....in our miniscule charmed dreamland, it became immediately apparent to us that it could not be, would not be the place for us.  how did we know?  we were talking about the possibilites of moving....that's when we realized every single photograph, framed print, needlepoint and magnet we owned was by the ocean. we couldn't leave the shore for inland. we knew our place.

that's how we did it!  we knew. we knew where we needed to be.  by the water.  on our own.  and so we moved to be in the right place for biff's new job.....and the south shore of boston would allow us to get to the cape which was my home away from home!  nantucket and the vineyard

after almost 5 years, we were ready and connecticut called us.  really.  we were quiet. we listened for the signs.....whether it was right for us or not.....it was...it is.

and here we are.  in the place we're meant to be.  we try to stay true.  true to what's best for us.  for our family. our needs and our joys and our lives....equally necessary to keep our lives in balance.

today, i was at our beach.  with the dogs.  then, with the kids and the dogs.  and again....just me with the dogs.

it's our home.  it's the people that we know.  it's the land. the beaches. the boating.  the sailing.  the families.  the schools.  the kids. the teachers.  the sunshine. the artists.  the doctors.  the churches.  the feelings that we were home!

we are.  the beach is our place.  we go on our own.  we go with  dogs. we go as a family. we go with friends.  we sail. we walk. we collect shells and sea glass.

tomorrow is a day for us all to enjoy.  it's a celebration.  it's the annual regatta for joe...our sailing instructor...our coach...our director!  it's a regatta in his memory.  he taught us all and pushed us all further than we thought we could go....he scared us...he barked out orders!  he taught us community and sharing and kindness and random family connections and compassion and fun!

he was a big bear of a man with a big, booming voice....who cared...and shared the love of sailing, the camaraderie, the joy, the friendships, the equality among sailors....

joe showed us all by example...no matter what the circumstances....that no matter how much money or boat or toys for show.....it doesn't matter. we don't care.  we're here for the sailing. we here for the love.  we're here for the passion.  we're here for the laughter.  we're here for the learning.  we're here for the challenge.  we're here because we all belong.  no matter what.  this is where we belong. we share that joy with all of the sailors.  we love where we are.  we love who we are.  we love the simplicity.

that was joe's gift. he shared.

joe, our friend...the man, the tiller, the dream. right here in our town.  it's where we belong!  our family belongs....to each other first of all.....and we share that love with other families who put families first.  they sail together.  they mix.  there's no politics.  just "share the wind" as joe called his program.....it was joe's gift....we have that for life...and we want to pass it on!

our grace and t.j. began their sailing classes when as soon as they were age appropriate. age eight.  they were babies!  joe was the big, the booming, the brilliant, the big guy with all of the rules.  the big guy who told them that they'd have to capsize on day 2!  i thought we'd never get them back to sail again....they complained all the way....they capsized ....they loved it.  

every challenge was turned into opportunity.  no excuses. just do it.  never politically correct.  must. have to.  that's that!

excited.  we're excited.  t.j. is sailing in the hobie cat regatta with a friend from school....i'm so proud of t.j.  he is up for the hall.  he'll be geared up and ready for whatever takes place.  he'll challenge himself.....throughout the day.  he will end the day proud and exhausted.....and we'll remember joe.  and thank him...for teaching us....teaching us so many lessons....and sharing friends....and passion for sailing....and extreme challenges....and our lives have been changed....because of his rich spirit, fun loving ways.  we miss him and everytime we're at the beach, he's with us.....shouting at me from the committee boat..."MAMA MIA! PUSH THE TILLER!" and when he said ph, i pulled.  his booming voice made me jump, then freeze in position

mama mia...my nick name from joe.

we are where we belong. we love it here.  it's our place...we love to share.

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG. BLAH*BLAH*BLAH*BLAH*BLAH! 

I HAVE BEEN WRITING NOW FOR QUITE SOME TIME...LIFE HAS UPS AND DOWNS AND WHIRLWINDS ALONG THE WAY.  I WRITE ABOUT ALL OF IT AND SOME OF IT AND NONE OF IT.....WHATEVER HAPPENS TO BE REAL...REAL LIFE....MINE!

I LIKE REAL.  I LIKE HONEST.  I LIKE TRUE AND HEARTFELT AND SILLY AND WHIMSICAL AND HEAVY, DEEP AND REAL AND NONSENSICAL AND HYSTERICAL AND SPECIAL AND CREATIVE AND SAD AND HAPPY AND LONELY AND HAPHAZARD AND QUIZZICAL AND DELIGHTED AND INTROSPECTIVE AND IRONIC AND OUTRAGEOUS AND RIDICULOUS AND SENTIMENTAL AND SARCASTIC AND MEANINGFUL AND CLEVER AND MELANCHOLY AND JAZZED UP AND REFLECTIVE AND BURSTING WITH JOY AND GRATEFUL AND SELF CENTERED AND CHALLENGED AND GOAL ORIENTED AND HARDWORKING AND MYSTERIOUS AND TRUE TO SELF AND SELF INDULGENT AND SUPERCILIOUS AND DRAMATIC AND SENSITIVE AND INSENSITIVE AND OVERRATED AND UNDERRATED AND HOPELESS AND HOPEFUL AND LOVING AND HEALING AND NURTURING AND PATHETIC AND APATHETIC AND DEFLATED AND ARBITRARY AND UNIMAGINABLE AND HUFFY AND ANGELIC AND SPIRITUAL AND SEXY AND SPLASHY AND STYLISH AND HEARTWARMING AND.........

I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS.....THERE IS NO REAL "PURPOSE" OR PORPOISE FOR MY BLOG.....IT'S NOT SAVE THE WHALES OR PEACE FOR PORPOISES ON PURPOSE OR WITH PURPOSE OR PURPOSEFUL OR POWERFUL OR CONVINCING TO TRY THIS OF TRY THAT OR SUGGESTIVE OR YOU MIGHT WANNA OR HERE'S HOW I DO IT OR FOLLOW ME OR TRAVEL LIGHT OR EAT LIGHT OR SPEND LESS OR BUY QUALITY OR PHOTOGRAPH THIS OR PHOTOGRAPH THAT OR CREATED FOR YOU OR FOR YOUR MOM OR FOR THE CAUSE OR FOR THE AGED OR FOR THE POLITICAL  OR FOR THE MOVIE BUFFS OR FOR THE CATS OR WITH THE DOGS OR VIDEOGRAPHY OR LEGALLY OR FAMILY OR MOTHERS OR SISTERS OR CLASSICS OR ISTICS.....REALISTIC, AUTISTIC, MYSTIC, HEROIC, ARCTIC, SYMBIOTIC OR MAGNETIC OR HOLISTIC OR HEDONISTIC..... MATHEMATIC CINEMATIC OR SYSTEMATIC OR AUTOMATIC OR PROBLEMATIC OR SPAZMATIC OR ADRIATIC OR ORGANIC OR HYDROMATIC OR ERGONOMIC OR ECONOMIC GASTRONOMIC OR PROBLEMATIC OR EGOMANIACAL OR HYREOGLYPHIC OR GYNECOLOGIC OR EMBLEMATIC OR PSYCHOSYMPTOMATIC OR ENIGMATIC OR ELECTROMAGNETIC OR TRAUMATIC OR THEMATIC OR HYGIENIC OR EMBRYONIC OR SPASTIC OR ICELANDIC OR SYSTEMIC OR DRAMATIC OR ENDOPLASMIC .......

 IT'S MUCH MORE SIMPLE THAN THAT.  IT'S MINE.

MUST WRITE A BOOK!

MY FRIENDS, THEY SAY.

OVER AND OVER....

WHY NOT TODAY?

NO NOVEL. NO BIO.

IT'S ALL IN FUN!

NO JOKES OR POKES...

AT ANY OLD ONE.

NO IF'S! NO BUTS!

NO IN BETWEENS.

MY LIFE. THAT'S ALL.

CRAZY IT SEEMS!

ODD IT IS...

THAT I SHOULD CARE

THE WHO AND WHY?

AND WHEN AND WHERE?

I WISH I KNEW

WHY I MUST WRITE.

SO WHAT? WHO CARES?

IT'S LATE AT NIGHT!

IT'S WHAT I DO.

AND WHAT I'VE DONE.

THERE IS NO POINT.

IT'S JUST FOR FUN.

FUNNY. SILLY.
ONLY THE BEST.
DAYDREAMS. DREAM DATES
AND ALL THE REST.

IS THAT ENOUGH?

DO I WANT MORE?

I WRITE FOR ME....

AND SO MANY MORE.

STORIES AND STORIES

PLUS LOTS, LOTS MORE....

DRESS UPS.  MAKE UPS.

MIX UPS IN STORE!

BY ME. TO ME.

WITH DOGS AND CATS

HOT DOGS. DOG GONE.
THINGS THAT GO SPLAT!




STORIES TO TELL,
STORIES OF DARES...
DREAMS ARE LIKE REAL...
REAL LIFE NIGHT MARES.


GOOD NIGHTS. SWEET DAYS.
ONLY MY BEST.
TEENS ARE MY LIFE.
YOU KNOW THE REST.

I'M UP TOO LATE.

AWAKE. TIRED.

IT'S SHARE I MUST.

I AM INSPIRED.

MY LIFE WITH BIFF..

A DREAM!  A JOY!

2 CATS, 2 DOGS...

1 GIRL! 1 BOY! 

WEDDINGS. BABIES

LAUGHS WE DO SHARE.

TRUE LOVE.  BEST FRIENDS.

WE'RE QUITE A PAIR!






LOVING OUR BEST ...
THROUGH THICK. THROUGH THIN...
WE HAVE TO LAUGH...
THAT'S NOT A SIN!

AS LIFE GOES ON ...
THERE'S LOTS TO SAY...
FUNNY IT SEEMS..
IN OUR OWN WAY!


I WRITE. I BLOG.
IT'S MY OWN PLACE
IT'S LIFE. OUR WORLD.
WITH T.J. AND GRACE!


NEW MOMS , OLD KIDS,
THERE'S MUCH TO TELL
THE LIFE OF A MOM
GOING THROUGH HELL!


LOVE THEM I DO.
WITH ALL MY HEART
BUT TEENS REBEL...
THEY ARE SO SMART!


SHUT UP.YUP. HUH.
NOPE. GO AWAY. 
UP DAYS. DOWN DAYS.
THAT'S ALL THEY'LL SAY.



OLD DAYS. SUNDAYS.
TIMES OF OUR LIFE
WRITE IT. NOTE IT.
AS MOM, AS WIFE.




THIS BLOG I WRITE.
THIS IS MY PLACE.
MY NOOK. MY CAVE.
MY ONLY SPACE.


MOMS ON THE GO.
PLANNING. THINKING
DETAILS GALORE.
JUST WITH BLINKING.


DAYS GO SO FAST.
NIGHTS WITHOUT SLEEP

LOVE THEM. MISS THEM.
LET GO AND WEEP.


IT'S GOOD. IT'S TIME.
AWAY THEY GO.
MISS THEM. WITH THEM
HOME TO AND FRO.

FOR US. WITH US.
THEY GO. THEY STAY.
BEG TO BE NEAR.
OR FAR AWAY.



PUSH ME AND PULL ME.
I'M ALWAYS THERE.
NOTHING. SOMETHING.
WHAT IS THAT STARE?



IPOD . CELL PHONE
FACEBOOK. LAPTOP. .
WE BEG. WE PLEAD.
CALL US. DON'T STOP.


THEY STOP. THEY GO.
THEY TEXT. THEY CALL.
FOLLOW OR LEAD.
WE KNOW IT ALL!


KNOW WHAT TO DO
WE KNOW IT'S TRUE.
FAKE IT. MAKE IT.
IT'S NOTHING NEW!



THIS BLOG IS MY OWN.
MY OWN. MY NAME.
IT'S ME. IT'S NOW.
IT'S JUST MY GAME.


I WRITE. I LAUGH. I STOP. I THINK. I CRY. I DREAM. I SMILE WITH A  WINK......I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING I LOVE!

HEY! WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN THAT DOWN. I CAN'T THINK!  CAN YOU PLEASE GET THAT?  IT'S FOR YOU......IT'S FOR ME...IT'S NOT SO MUCH ABOUT THE KIDS.....IT'S ABOUT ME WITH KIDS...WITH FAMILY....WITH FRIENDS....WITH MY VIEWPOINT. ALL ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS.  IT'S ME, ALL ME.  EXCUSE ME, I WAS TALKING.  HELLLLLLOOOOOOO!  WOO HOO. IT'S ME!  RIGHT HERE.  THINKING OF INTERRUPTING ME.  NOPE. DON'T PLEASE DON'T.  THAT'S ENOUGH.  WAIT.  TAKE A BREATH.  SHHHHHH.


THANKS FOR LISTENING.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT

WHAT'S IT FOR?

IT'S ME AND MINE.....

INSIDE OUR DOOR.

IF IT'S NEWS THAT YOU WANT...

THERE'S NONE IN STORE.

I'VE GOT STORIES TO TELL

STORIES GALORE.

HOW I SEE THINGS.

ALL THE TIME.

IT'S THIS IS SHE....

AND THIS IS HE

WE ARE 2 WHO HAVE TO SEE....

EVERYDAY WE DO OUR BEST.....

WE HAVE 2 KIDS AND ALL THE REST!

WE HOPE, WE PRAY AND GIVE OUR ALL....

WE DREAM FOR THEM TO JUST STAND TALL.

WE HAVE NO SECRETS AND NO SURE WAY....

IT WAS EASY. THE PLAYGROUND. PLAYING ALL DAY.
WE LIFT THEM. WE LOVE THEM. WE HUG THEM TIGHT.....GOD KEEP THEM SAFE BOTH DAY AND NIGHT!

i'm still here!  crazy week...lots of lasts...last grace lacrosse game...she scored a point!!! then, the team won by one point!! happy and so proud of her hard work.  it's been a big year of big and some tough transition getting momentum for freshman year...starting with mono...missed some school...lots of great social life...lots of learning and time management and hard work and new friends and lots of lessons learned by the kids in town.  a big year of growth...mentally, physically, emotionally...exhausted-ly!  love our girl.....and she loves us...NOT right now...we are the meanies...we have to set the rules....we are not a family democracy.....we love our kids like crazy....we're parents and we are learning as we go....we make life too hard....we like to laugh....we like to play....and then, we go and ruin it all by setting some boundaries!  we have had to really stay a united front this year.  high school is a whole new territory...for the kids and the parents.

a friend from montessori days sat next to me at freshman orientation....we talked about our kids...we both enjoy each others' children...we've all been together a long time...and we care...genuinely about our children and the other montessori graduates we (parents and children)......we compare notes....she has one older girl...and one younger boy....we parallel and we bump and we glide alongside each other.

we talked about the differences in parenting style.  we talked about the love of our kids. we talked about the pressures on our kids.  we talked about the old days.  we gabbed about our own lives and how we've grown...what we do while our kids are at school (eat bon bons....just like they suspect!)

while talking about the new life of teens and rules and hopes and dreams....as we sit at orientation....we spoke of the challenges and the tough job we have to keep putting up boundaries....some parents don't...so our boundaries have to be bigger and stronger....after all, this is only the beginning of high school....school hasn't even started!  

that's when i said, "wow!  those parents with no rules are really making my life incredibly difficult!  *&$%#@Q@#$$%^"

i continued, " i think we're pretty easy going parents and although we want to keep our kids in line, we want them to have some independence and learn their way.....only, when other parents don't set boundaries or stay on top of what's going on......"

lizza, my friend...seemingly new...although now it's been more than 10 years, looked at me with her big brown eyes and smiled....knowingly.....after all her daughter was two years older....back in the montessori days, that seemed like she was 10 years older! 

lizza looked at me, nodded... and with her hand made a sweeping motion towards the gathering of other nervous, confident yet insecure, bedraggled,   frazzled, overwhelmed, preoccupied, exhausted, proud, frustrated, hopeful, trusting, lost, dazed and confused parents...whose summer had also been cut short for this eager administration's subtle-y mandatory meeting to welcome us all....and as her hand slowly swept across her lap as if sweeping across the whole hustling, bustling, chattering, whispering parents...married, divorced, step-mothered, step-fathered, widowed, single, co-companioned, life partnered and caregivered parents ......with issues of dependencies and codependencies and alcoholisms and workholisms and rage-aholisms and fybromyalgia-isms and xanex-isms and prozac-isms and compulsively clean and organize-d and exercise-d and obsessive-compulsive disorder-d and gambler-anonymous-d and overeater anonymous-d and anorexic-d and neurotic-d and apathetic-d, anxiety-d and post traumatic stress disorder-d and emotionally distant and emotionally dependent and distracted and disturbed and polly-anna-d and put on a good face because my friends will wonder if my husband still lives with us, and look at my great hair and sandals and club shirt and vacation monogrammed and cell connected and politically connected and socially connected and mentally ill and hyperactive and a.d.d.-d and immature and uptight and relaxed and traumatized and denial-d and  well travelled and highly eduacated and under-educated and non-confrontational and in your face-tional and pregnant with the 10th child-d and artsy and intellectual and well-heeled and country clubb-d and beach club-d auditorum and she said,

"SEE ALL OF THE PARENTS IN THIS ROOM.....LOOK AROUND......LOOK AGAIN.....KEEP LOOKING..........................EVERY ONE OF THE PARENTS IN THIS ROOM WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.....DO YOU REMEMBER THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF KIDS YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL??????????"

DRUGGIES, DRINKERS, PARTYERS, SLUTS,  PROM KINGS,  PROM QUEENS, HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS, R.O.T.C.s, VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTERS, THEATRE JUNKIES,  MATHLETES, DEBATERS, CON ARTISTS,  LOUD ONES, FUNNY ONES,  CLASS CLOWNS, THE MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED, THE MOST POPULAR, FUNNIEST, WITH THE MOST SCHOOL SPIRIT, THE INTROVERTED, THE BEST DRESSED, THE  MOST OUTSPOKEN, THE CLOSETED, THE CONFUSED, THE  HAPPY, THE PEPPY, THE JOCKS,  THE NICE KIDS, THE DREAMER, THE SWEETEST, THE QUIET ONES, THE CHATTERBOXES, THE HONOR STUDENTS,  THE ROWDIES, THE  POT HEADS, THE CLASS CUTTERS, THE JUVENILE DELINQUENTS, THUGS, BEAUTY QUEENS, NERDS, AUDIO VISUAL GEEK SQUADDERS, GOTHS, ARTSY-FARTSIES, HIPPIES, BOHO, PREPPIES, CRUNCHY-GRANOLAS, , PRIMADONNAS, BOY SCOUTS, GIRL SCOUTS, FREAKS, PRANKSTERS, JOKERS, TROUBLEMAKERS, GRATEFUL DEAD-HEADS, THE EXCHANGE STUDENTS, THE  UPPERCLASSMEN, THE LOWERCLASSMEN, THE GYMNASTS, THE TOCKET SCIENTISTS, THE HEARTBROKEN, THE TEASERS, THE CLUELESS, THE UNDERDOGS, THE OVERSEXED, THE  DRAMATIC, THE  SICKLY, THE PATRIOTIC, THE BRAZEN, THE PONY TAILED, THE DOROTHY HAMILLED, THE CITY SLICKERS, THE COUNTRY BUMPKINS, THE CLASSY, THE TACKY, THE PATHETIC, THE ARROGANT, THE OBNOXIOUS, THE PROUD, THE FOCUSED, THE TATTLE TALERS, THE PIG TAILERS, THE MULLETEERS, THE BUZZIES, THE  SHORT, THE TALL, THE BLUE EYED, THE, BLONDES, THE BRUNETTES, THE DISHWATER BLONDES, THE ZIT-FACED, THE SHY, THE OUTGOING, THE  RAGGAMUFFINS, THE BROTHERS, THE SISTERS, THE WIMPS, THE BULLIES, THE GREEN EYED, THE FRECKLED, THE BROWN NOSERS, DREAMERS, SPACE CASES,  WILD,  DRAMATIC, LIARS, CHEATERS,INTELLECTUALS, SPACE CADETS, MAJORETTES, CHEERLEADERS, TOUGH GUYS, PHYSICAL EDDIES AND EDWINAS AND ALL OF THE REST THAT WE MAY HAVE LEFT OUT!

OH, BY THE WAY......NOW THEY ARE THE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND ANOTHER THING....THAT WAS JUST GRACE....I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO T.J. AND HIS WEEK, MONTH, YEAR AND FUTURE.


AHHHHH.....JUST ANOTHER DAY EATING BON BONS! 

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!

SOUPY SALES.  I WAS ABOUT 4 YEARS OLD WHEN I SAW THAT SHOW.  MY BROTHERS WATCHED THE SHOW.  I CAN STILL REMEMBER GOING TO BED ONE NIGHT AT ABOUT 4 YEARS OLD AND BEGGING, PLEADING WITH MY BROTHER TO WRITE SOUPY SALES A FAN LETTER!!  WHY I SO DESPERATELY NEEDED HIM TO KNOW THAT I WAS A FAN!!

LUCILLE BALL  I LOVE LUCY...MY FAVE AND MOSTLY HOW I HAVE BASED MY LIFE...SHE MADE ME LAUGH FROM A VERY EARLY AGE.  I WAS ENTHRALLED WITH LUCY FROM THE BEGINNING.  SHE MADE ME LAUGH.  SHE GOT INTO CRAZY SITUATIONS WITH HER BFF ETHEL!  SHE WAS MY MOST AWESOME ENTERTAINMENT AT A YOUNG AGE.

CAROL BURNETT WAS MY IDOL.  I WROTE LETTERS TO HER AND I WANTED TO SEND MY PICTURE FROM OUR GIRL SCOUT ART SHOW. MY ART WORK WAS "THE GIRL SCOUT" .....IT WAS MY CRAYON "WORK"....INSPIRED BY THE GIRL SCOUT ON THE CAROL BURNETT SKIT!  I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.  I WANTED TO BE HER. I WANTED TO MEET HER.  I REALLY THOUGHT THAT SHE SHOULD KNOW ME.  I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE THRILLED TO MEET ME! I WANTED TO BE ON THE SHOW!  SHE CHANGED ME AND HOW I SAW LIFE.  I REALIZED HOW HUMOR HELPED EVERYONE TO LIGHTEN UP...IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD!  I LOVED HER SLAPSTICK.  I LOVED HER SWEETNESS AND ZANYNESS AND THE LAUGHTER SHE BROUGHT TO US ALL! I CRIED WHEN HER SHOW ENDED.

I LOVED MARY TYLER MOORE....THROWING THE HAT UP IN THE AIR.  I WANTED HER JOB...WHEN I GREW UP.  I LOVED HER FRIENDS AND THE PEOPLE SHE WORKED WITH.....TO ME, SHE WAS THE ULTIMATE WORKING WOMAN!

MARLO THOMAS IN "THAT GIRL"..."DIAMONDS, DAISIES, SNOWFLAKES, THAT GIRL!"  SHE WAS MY LITTLE GIRL DREAM OF BEING GROWN UP.  SHE LIVED THE ULTIMATE LIFE.  SHE LOVED DONALD HOLLINGER.  SHE HAD HER OWN MIXUPS.  I STILL REMEMBER HER APARTMENT.  WHILE SEEMINGLY GLAMOROUS, WHEN SHE PULLED UP HER SHADES IN THE LIVING ROOM, WE SAW EXPOSED BRICK!  I STILL REMEMBER WHEN SHE WENT BOWLING (A GLAMOROUS DATE, INDEED!).....SHE GOT HER BIG TOE STUCK IN A BOWLING BALL!

THE FIRST BIG MUSEUM EVENT THAT I CAN REMEMBER WAS VINCENT VAN GOGH AT THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM OF ART!  THANKFULLY, MY MOM HAD SOME REASON THAT SHE WAS MOVED TO TAKE ME TO THAT SPECIAL EVENT.  HIS ARTWORK AND HIS STORY MOVED ME.  AT THAT TIME, I WAS BLOWN AWAY THINKING ABOUT VAN GOGH AND WHERE HE HAD COME FROM AND THE WORK HE DID....MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF HIM AND HIS WORK, "THE BEDROOM" THAT INSPIRED MY LOVE OF CLOGS!  BACK THEN, I HAD NO OTHER EXPOSURE TO THAT KIND OF LIFE....OR LIVING.  THERE WAS NO INTERNET,  T.V. OR PHOTOGRAPHY THAT HAD CARRIED ME TO ANOTHER PLACE.

MRS. D.,  OUR FAMILY FRIEND.  SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO READ.  SHE WAS A FIRST GRADE TEACHER.  NOT MINE.  SHE WAS A MOM WITH 3 BOYS.  MY PARENTS WERE FRIENDS BECAUSE OF MY BROTHERS' FRIENDSHIPS WITH THEIR SONS.  SHE JUST LOVED ME AND MADE ME FEEL LOVED!  SHE LOVED JUST HAVING A GIRL AROUND! SHE SHOWED ME A RESPECT AND LOVE FROM A YOUNG AGE.  JUST GOOD LOVE.  OUTSIDE OF MY OWN FAMILY.  AND.....SHE TAUGHT ME TO READ...ON THEIR LIVING ROOM COUCH!  SHE WAS THERE IN THAT MOMENT WHERE IT TOOK OFF!  ANOTHER GIFT.

MONROE.  THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE.  FOREVER.  MONROE MADE A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE....MONROE TAUGHT ME AND I TAUGHT MONROE....TO BRING A LEASH!  A DOG THAT GAVE ME SO MUCH!  BECAUSE OF  MONROE, I HAVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS!

I'VE NEVER MET MY CAROL BURNETT.  I'VE READ ABOUT HER. I STILL DREAM OF MEETING HER!

I NEVER MET LUCY, BUT WE DID GET TO JAMESTOWN, N.Y. AND I DRAGGED THE WHOLE FAMILY INTO HER MUSEUM!

SOUPY SALES JUST DIED AWHILE BACK.  I'LL GET OVER IT.  HE WAS A PASSING PHASE...YET HE MADE ME LAUGH. WHO KNOWS WHY.  I LOVED HIS FUNNY VOICES, I KNOW THAT.

"THAT GIRL" I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO MEET!  I DID GET TO MEET MARLO THOMAS.  SHE SPOKE AT A COLLEGE GRADUATION...NOT MY CLASS....BUT, THE PRESIDENT OF THE COLLEGE KNEW HOW MUCH WE LOVED HER...HE INVITED A SELECT GROUP OF ADMIRERS (MY FRIENDS!) TO MEET WITH HER AND HAVE HIS PHOTOGRAPHER TAKE PICTURES....OF MARLO WITH US!!! WE WERE BABBLING AND RAMBLING AND SMILING AND GIGGLING. NOT MUCH MOVING CONVERSATION BUT VERY MOVED TO MEET SUCH A GO GETTER IN THE WOMAN'S MOVEMENT.  A DIFFERENT GENERATION.

I NEVER MET MARY TYLER MOORE.  I THINK SHE WAS HUGE TO ME AT THE TIME OF HER SHOW....IT WAS THE SHOW I LOVED AND THE HUMOR AND THE FUNNY GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WORKED AT WJ......MARY WAS FUN....BUT IT WAS THE GROUP I LOVED!

PRINCESS DIANA/LADY DIANA.....THE FIRST PRINCESS OF OUR AGE RANGE.  SHE MARRIED AROUND MY COLLEGE YEARS.  SHE HAD STYLE...WHILE BRITISH AND ROYAL FAMILY STUFFED, SHE STILL HAD STYLE.  I ENJOYED THAT!  SHE WAS FUN TO WATCH.  NOT OBSESSIVELY, JUST INTERESTED, IF HER PHOTOS POPPED UP.  ALTHOUGH, I DID ATTEND A BIG NEW YORK CITY BLACK TIE EVENT WHILE SHE WAS IN THE U.S.A.

WE SAW AN OPERA AT THE BROOKLYN ACADEMY OF ARTS AND A TWINKLING AND DELIGHTFUL DINNER AT THE WINTER GARDEN,BATTERY PARK CITY,N.Y.C. .  HER DRESS WAS SPECTACULAR AS WELL AS HER SMILE CITY.

I SAW HER AGAIN ON ONE OF THOSE LITTLEMARYMIXUP MOMENTS WHILE IN LONDON...REALLY WINDSOR....AND IT WAS WONDERFUL.  

VAN GOGH CHANGED MY LIFE AND MY CRAVING TO VISIT ART MUSEUMS.  HIS COLORS AND HIS STYLE MADE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WAY I LOOKED AT ART .....FOREVER.

SO MANY MORE.  LOTS OF FAVORITES...LOTS AND LOTS. BUT THESE ARE SOME OF MY FIRST FAVES...THAT I REMEMBER.

Teach Your Children

sorry to have so many "mixups" in blog land. it seems that while i have something that i love doing, this is the season of ends of this and ends of that and more of this and more of that! lacrosse games, lacrosse picnics, concerts, events of all kinds.....something for everyone...everywhere! someone...somewhere.once again...it's always something.  thank you gilda radner.

a whirlwind of a weekend has led us into a whirlwind of a monday.  it's true.  what have i done?  where have i gone?  when have i done it?  why have we done it, all of us?

whirlwind.  that pretty much explains it. friends we love have kids we love graduating college at this time of year, reminding us of the exciting time in our lives.  we have other friends with kids graduating high school.....WOW!   i just realized...this moment ....that 2, count 'em 2 of my God Children are graduating high school.  YIKES!

3 of my God Children ###3!

3 sweet girls.  all born the same year.  all with different hopes and dreams....goals and plans....styles and attitudes.  michaela is a middle child. molly is the youngest of four children.  emily is the first of two children.

Does that matter?  maybe.  it's interesting to see who people become.  nature vs. nurture. does the birth order really factor into who we are.  i think so! just sayin'. 

one girl loves drama.  not just day to day drama.  just drama.  the  smiling, singing, dancing and on stage all day, all night, lullaby of broadway kind of drama!  that's a firstborn. WOW!  i believe in her.  i believe she can accomplish anything she sets out to do!  i also believe that life has serendipitous events that lead us through life.  it's a big world. it's all out there for us....where do we run with it?  or where will she run with it.  if she runs, how far will she go?  how far will she want to go?  the morning of her christening, we played the music to "sister act" whoopi goldberg....

emily elizabeth's mom and dad loved the movie....her mom and dad loved the music....her mom and dad loved their baby....her mom and dad loved all of us....but, baby emily was crying and crying and crying on the morning of her christening.  that's what got us bouncing and bumping and singing and rocking and dancing with the itty bitty baby girl the hours before her christening!  

did that song have anything to do with her future in drama, music, singing, dancing, rocking, rolling and more?  maybe.  i'd like to think that biff and i are responsible for her.....oh wait!  that would be thanks to emily's mom and dad!  i rocked and rolled and did some song and dance....but, it wasn't quite what her parents did to encourage her and see her through all of the years that led her up to college admission at a fine school, as a student of drama, music and dance.
 
she is a sweet and loving and beautiful curly haired, green eyed, smiling, giggling star...and i wished her only the biggest dreams on the day of her christening.  i had my own dreams for that baby of one of my very best friends!  i still have those dreams.  big.  very big.  i wish for her happiness.  i want her to have a life filled with family and friends and love surrounding her.....always.  oh, she can become a hollywood starlet or a dance teacher or sell videos with movie stars.....my wish for her is the same.  i wish for her to live out her dreams as they unfold....one by one...day by day.



michaela, a middle child, was baptized on a cold  winter morning surrounded by  loving family with lots of wonderful wishes for her.  I whispered my own wishes for her life and all good things for her future.  of course, i had dreams of me being a guiding force in her life.  as life takes twists and turns, my love for her was always deep yet distance and circumstance kept us less than close.  in spirit, i sent love and i still dream big for her....and since we are not so close, distance wise or family connection wise, my dreams are out there for her!  they are dreams i wish for her that she may never know.  i have loved her and wished good things for her from the moment i saw her....after a six hour drive....and delight at the sound of her name. she knows i love her.  she know that i care.  our days are not filled with the greatest connection, but the love is there.  my dream for her is the same....only different!  i wish for her to follow her dreams.  i dream for her to listen to what matters....i dream for her to listen to her heart and follow her dreams. my dreams for michaela are big yet simple!  i wish her the greatest love and  lots of joy for the simple things in life.  i dream that she will always know what matters!   that's love...always.  now, that's big.

molly is the youngest of thte four girls in her family.  with 3 girls before her, molly knew her place!  the last shall be first!  molly shared the love of her parents and lots of family and friends....and lots of hand me down dresses!  with her go with the flow sweetness and gentle ways, molly learned at an early age that being number one could come easily if she could tough it out!  she's beautiful and soft spoken and carries a big stick!  that's her smarts!  she is bright and articulate and humble and her attributes will have her shining whether in 3 sisters' shadows or on her favorite beach.  i dream  of action and fun and kindness and gentleness...for the sweet little girl inside!  i rocked her and held her and loved her from the moment we met.  always, the last of the little ducklings....but molly always stood out....she made sure of that!  she is her own person...strong in heart and in character and mind.  My dreams for molly are simple.....to stand tall and proud and take chances and dare to be more than she can imagine....and know that her sweet ways will carry her stick.  molly is on her way to great things....and molly will stay true to herself and move on her dreams....molly will make them happen...that's molly...she gets it done.

dreams are important.  they keep us moving towards a goal...and the goals change....sometimes daily....sometimes hourly...sometimes with small children, by the minute! 

it's fabulous to feel that others share our dreams.  it's exciting to share our dreams.  it's a miracle when  we have someone to share our dreams with...that is the blessing i wish for all....not that one's life goal is to meet someone to share dreams....that's the greatest gift i've gotten.  after all of the fabulous hopes and dreams and plans and loves and goals and fun and singing and dancing and thinking and doing ........that's the bonus!  that's the bonus that may come along....in the midst of the goals and thinking and dreaming and singing and fun and thinking and dancing and doing!


my wish for each one of them is the same. dream. plan. set goals. stay strong. dream big. never give up. never give up. never give up.  wish......wish for more and plan.  sometimes hopes turn out better than we plan! that's my wish for each sweet and strong girl.....young woman. 



life takes twists. turns. ins. outs. ups. downs. curves. dreams.....DREAM BIG!

Devil Dogs...partners in crime.

That's Fitzy!  That's her Nose.  Nobody nose the trouble I've seen, nobody nose like Daisy! 

Daisy is eight years old now!  Fitzy has been with us since Daisy was five and a half.  Fitzy was only one year old.  How sweet! 

Sweet for who?  All  of us actually.  Daisy is loyal as the day is long.  Fitzy is hungry as the day is long.
We feed her.  We feed Daisy.  Well.

As a puppy, Daisy was well fed, like clock work...with love.  Mostly, we all gave her praise in the form of love and attention and lots of heavy petting!  Life was good for Daisy.

She herded our kittens, she met the kids at the school bus..."where are the kids?" would have her running to the bus.  She was obedient and well mannered.  The only thing that got our sweet Daisy in trouble was her enthusiasm and loyalty! 






She would get on the school bus occasionally....she was always eager to learn...it's no wonder!  As a puppy, she went to Montessori....she was there for circle time at the end of the day and she was T.J's "sharing".....she was only a a few months old....and even then her school attendance record was five star....with praises from the teacher and she got along well with the other kids.

She came everywhere with me.  She came everywhere with us as a family.  She attended the kids' baseball games and wore team shirts....(Grace made sure that she was always well accessorized!)....and hats.  She went to soccer games.  She went to Lacrosse Games throughout Connecticut.  She's been to sleepovers at friends' houses.  She's been to late night parties and barbeques.  She has been to meetings of all kinds.

Everyone knows Daisy....everyone loves her.  We can count on her and her loving ways.  She stays up late to wait for everyone to be tucked in.  She has her own special bark to let us know that one of the kitties are outside and need to come in for the night.  She stays on duty if Biff is out of town.  She checks on the kids before she sleeps by my side of the bed.   She does lots of extra duty. 

She had many trips to Long Island...to visit family.  She stayed at Gramma's while we all went to the pool...including Gramma.  She stayed with our family friends.....the family who shared their Golden Retriever, Monroe, with me and the reason I ached for my own Golden.  She kept them company while I visited my mom in the hospital.  She always accompanied me to Fairfield University to visit my niece, her cousin.  She's stayed up late studying with her cousin, Claire.....oh!  she's Grace and T.J.'s cousin too.  She's been to beaches everywhere.  She made friends with the ice cream man in town....who drives with his own loving Golden on board.  

Life is still good for Daisy.  Just different.  

Fitzy, Fitz, Fitzgerald....we love her too.  Just as every child is different and has their own individual spirit and style, our dogs do too.  Fitzy didn't have the same start in life.  While a Golden through and through, she didn't get the same puppy time as daisy.  She lived with a family with four children...under six.  She was always crated....not the same way as Daisy who loved her safety of her crate...it was her own niche....it was her haven...it was her home.  Fitzy was locked up.  Jailed in her crate.  We don't think she was served meals....rather, she jumped for food tossed from high chairs.  We think her meals were a challenge.   

Enter Fitzgerald....to our home.  Adorable.   Sweet.  With "needs", the family told us.  She just needs more than we can offer, the third family who had her for a week told us.  The first family had 4 kids.  The second family was different.  it was a woman who ran a day care....not much time to train her....certainly a bit chaotic for her...only a puppy, with day care needs of her own.  The third family was an empty nester couple with a well mannered dog of their own....they worked all day...Fitzy needed more than they could give her.....

They came to introduce us.  A dog friend of mine had heard we were thinking of a second.  She had these folks call me.  It was August.  We were home from The Cape.  The woman said if we didn't take her she would have to call Yankee Golden Retriever Rescue to try and find her a home.

Adorable.  That face.  That soft fur.  That sweet smile.  That eager look.  That need...she had to be saved.   We were the ones.  We could make a difference!

Biff said, "But....will she be a Marley?"  No, I told him.  We can train her.  She just needs attention.  She just needs time.

True.  That's just what she needs....still.  Adorable. That face.  That soft fur.  That smile.  That eager look.  That need...............she still needs.

FOOD.  always.  anyway.  anyhow.  anyplace.  anywhere.  FOOD.  Motivation is food.  Food is motivation.  

When motivation isn't food, Fitz is motivated by love....rather, needy for love.  Lots of love.....lots and lots of love.  More love. Lots more love.  Lots and lots, more and more LOVE.

Daisy needs love ......as a reward.  Fitzy needs love.....always.....and, did I mention she has a few separation issues.  She could and would be a lap dog if we let her.  She would be in between Biff and I at night...if we even let her upstairs.....she would probably take the best pillow....and roll on the most fluffy of comforters.  This dog, Fitz, has needs.  BIG NEEDS.

I see a little bit of me in both dogs.......o.k.  probably lots and lots of me......lots and lots and lots of me.

Only I don't leave my family for food. Any food. Anywhere.  Anytime.  Anyhow.

Maybe for lipstick, but certainly not food.  T.J. tells a story.....We were walking into Kate's house for Easter....Kate is like my sister....one of my best friends of my life......since college......forever......as we walked to the door that Easter Sunday, I said, "WAIT!  Where's my lipstick?  I need my lipstick!"  Biff, Grace and T.J. all answered, "Just go in!"......apparently, in my moment of hysteria....me, without lipstick upon entry!....i did say, "NO LIPSTICK?  I would sell my children for lipstick!".........those words have been tossed back to me ever since.   O.K., maybe a lipstick, but not food.

Daisy has many stories.  Some of her stories are about running laps.....never for food. I don't even think she has ever eaten a lipstick.  She sits for a treat, sure.....but she wouldn't sit for a lipstick!

 

And then there's Fitz, the other dog I love so much...actually, we all do.....it's just different.  Always different.

 

She is always up for a good meal.

 

Biff used to do a stop, drop and roll set up....to get  stolen food away from Fitz....only it was more of a RUN, SLIDE, TACKLE, SLIDE!  oh, it was exciting all right, just a tad disruptive during dinner.  We began to question who was the crazy one....Fitzy or Biff?

Biff has come a long way since then.  So has Fitz.  Actually, Fitz isn't able to have food near her.....ever....unless it's hers.  Nevermind teaching her to "LEAVE IT!"...been there....she didn't do that.....o.k. maybe one time....or two.....just never when she is already in the process of eating....a marshmallow, a lipstick, a shrimp, cups of yogurt,a shell, a sock, a Starbucks coffee,  a Dunkin Donut's coffee, a water, an orange juice, butter, a bag of fresh bagels or cup of coffee at home.  

 

She has taken lunch from two big guys eating at the beach....innocently sitting on the porch of the old red abandoned beach house.......they looked like they didn't know what hit them...as i grovelled, they were so stunned, they just smiled and said not to worry.  They were in shock, surely they had never seen anyone or anything the speed of Fitz on a mission.......

She has taken Biff's dinner off the table as he pivoted to get his water.

She has eaten a whole quiche from Whole Foods  while en route home from the store.

She has eaten our corn and fruit on our way home from our local farmstand.

She has had my morning coffee.

She has had our cereal.

She has eaten so many Burt's Bees Lipsticks that I began to think she was honestly using them as breath freshener.

She has run through our neighbors' house in quest of food. 

She has run to another neighbors house for the barbeque....and gone in the door to look for more....they thought it was "Cute"....so she keeps trying to go back.

She has gone to another neighbors' house and jumped in the gramma's fancy car with the grandchildren to eat up some fallen cheerios.....that neighbor didn't even like dogs....now I'm sure she's scarred for life.

She has gone to another neighbor, up the road, and had to have a ride home....since she had no leash....she left that home!

She ran off at the beach to follow the scent of some senior citizens little cocktail hour, with civilized wine and cheese and scotch and sodas and vodka and tonics and lots of chips and cheetos and.........not for long!  Even with the name Fitzgerald, apparently drinking doesn't interest her.....but the crackers and cheese and cheetos and fritos did!  All I can remember, is the $#&*)&^%&#$^&$())_&*&%^&$#@#@ that came from the distinguished looking gentleman's mouth......I cried on the way back to the car.

She began to run after our other neighbors' chickens, which caused Daisy to run towards the chickens to stop Fitzy from going after the chickens and caused the neighbors, our friends (although tested many times) to run out after their chickens and our dogs...creating a little chaos on an otherwise quiet morning.

She has gotten us  kicked out of my mom's nursing home.

And there's more.

Just Friday, I took Daisy and Fitzy to the Farmer's Market, on the town green.  I had already taken some wonderful greens to the car.  The market was wrapping up for the day, music still playing....it was winding down.  I had both dogs leashed.  Too bad for Daisy as she doesn't usually need a leash.  I had to keep Fitz from tugging.  She had lots to smell.  SNIFF.  SNIFF. tug...tug...tug....tugggggg. Finally, I sat down with them.  Fitz was draped across my legs. Daisy sat proudly at my side.  Nice.  This is how I could finally teach Fitz.....every week at the Farmer's Market...she would learn ....just by the exposure....even if a little late in her life....this could be the thing to help!

That's when the fisherman from Stonington tossed an empty clam shell across the lawn.  Fitz jumped up and ran towards the shell....Daisy followed....to check up ....or cash in on the find.......I held tight.  I had the leash.....barking Daisy.....rolling and "summersalting" along....they got to the empty clamshell.  

We had gathered a crowd!  A thank you to the fisherman was all he needed to be encouraged to toss a couple more.

Then we walked to the car...quietly.  People stopped to pet the adorable smiling dogs.  I waited at the car for T.J. to meet me......he had been  

"laxin' " with friends...he was having a little stick time with some lacrosse friends and was on his way to the car.  Friends stopped to chat.  They petted the dogs. We talked.  We petted.

The dogs and I sat quietly at the back of the car with the rear open...listening to the last of the music...people watching.  That's when T.J and his friend arrived.....hungry.  As we talked about food, Fitz jumped out of the car and began laps around the last of the market  and the folks at the end......laps and laps....running and running more laps.  T.J. was off and running after.  I ran.  Daisy ran....and finally, T.J. did the famous tackle...the family version of stop, drop and roll.  He did the run, jump, slide, tackle and slide version......and he caught our Fitz!  

The boys went to the pizza shop for dinner. The dogs and I drove home.  Maybe it would take some more time for Fitz to learn.  Surely, it was taking us time to be trained.  

 

I fed Daisy and Fitzy.  Again.

Now the pair work together.  Fitz makes a mad dash for the food.  Daisy barks to send us an alert.  While we reprimand Fitzy, Daisy scouts the area to see if there's anything that Fitz might have missed!  WAIT!  Our innocent little Daisy....well, it's hard to be the good one all of the time!

Devil Dogs...partners in crime!