Mom's Monday Morning Post Mother's Day Coffee

Last week. My idea.... coffee...our house...some other moms. Just a fun way to get together with some of the fabulous moms I've met over the years, thanks to our kids.

It seems we never have time to just chat. It's time to chat tomorrow....it's late...I'm tired...exhausted from roller blading with Biff. I'd better start cleaning up around here...vacuuming, windexing, sweeping and putting out some coffee cups....and pretty napkins...and some flowers...and some trays.

I'm not trying to impress them....I'm just hoping to be able to let them in the door. Once they get in the door, I'm hoping to avoid the possibility of someone tripping over flip flops or topsiders or rain boots or a dog bowl or a dog leash...or a dog! A mother's work is never done...literally.Happy Mother's Day.

Thanks For A Great Day!

Breakfast In Bed

Yes it's true! Breakfast in bed. The all time number one Mother's Day dream come true. Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Almost.

As Biff entered the bedroom followed by Grace and T.J., he and I gave each other a knowing nod.

It was a sweet moment. Here we are all together on the morning of the day we all celebrate our mothers....a day created by Hallmark. A day of forced loving and giving...ahhh....a lovely spring day created for the moms of America...that causes more stress than a house full of monkeys!. The right card from Hallmark, the perfect Zales diamond gift, perky flowers from FTD and dinner out with the whole family at Red Lobster or Olive Garden...at least, that's what the commercials suggest.

As the kids get older, their enthusiasm fades for the precious attempt to serve the ultimate surprise for mom, waking up early for the kitchen whirlwind of adventure making burnt toast slathered with butter and gobs of jam....lukewarm coffee with grounds clinging to the perimeter of the mug, a wilted flower yanked from the garden placed in the most treasured wedding gift handed down for generations..... hand colored cards on construction paper with giant hearts and misspelled words...all on an unsteady tray....hopefully all with supervision of their dad, overtired and overwhelmed by the sunrise surprise party for mom. The reality for most moms I know....is a very strained day...since the commercials have insisted that good children in nice families are publicly displaying their love and affection...dammit!

Teenagers would most likely prefer sleep rather than saccharin smiles so early in the day but they know the drill by now...so they rolled out of bed for their required performance.

We all laugh at ourselves. Its clear that dad pulled it together while the kids caught a couple more winks. We take a few moments sitting in the tousled comforters to look back at so many other magical Mother's Days. I look at our family...squished together...as I sip my lukewarm coffee and bite my burnt toast....and I couldn't be happier. This is my new magic! The burnt toast couldn't be better. I'm so grateful to be s so blessed as a mom.

"Mom "

I wore this ring yesterday. Grace looked astonished," oh my gosh...it's so tacky. I can't believe you wore that!"

Tacky? Perhaps. Just a tad tacky. She bought it with all of her love and enthusiasm. Grace was 9., old enough to want to take on her own gift shopping. She asked Biff to take her to Walmart to select her gift. She knew it immediately ....this was it!

I said thats partly why it's so special. "you were so proud that you picked it out yourself." "But mom, it's so cheesy. I'm sorry."

"That's why I love it.That's what makes it so special! That's when you loved me!" We both laughed. Priceless!

Happy Mother's Day!

1923. We've come a long way baby!

Happy Mothers Day!

Grandma...@1906

Derby Day

So many Derby Day memories. It's such a lovely time of year to get dressed up a bit for a late afternoon party! Oh wait...I forgot...that's how it used to be.

Today I'm wearing my Nantucket red shorts, Ralph Lauren navy and white striped 3/4 sleeve knit shirt...and bare feet...add a bit of golden fur, some sand and sea glass...we're. all set. Today we're lounging in the family room...my Biff has on Levi's with dirt from yardwork, a dirty tee shirt with heavy sweat...my man. Our dogs have that outdoorsy smell of beach, wet dog and dog breath from eating Lord knows what in the woods! And the kids....

I digress. Things are different...and very nice in the comfort of our own home with a family we love and all of our animals...smelly or not!

Our dress up Derby Day parties are memories. Our days at New York City brownstones, Southampton lawns and Westchester patios ......mingling with friends and friends of friends...chattery cocktail conversation while toasting with official Churchill Downs Kentucky Derby, Mint Julep filled glasses seems a lifetime ago.

Today's cup of cider in a plastic cup, corn chips and our kids, comfortable in Connecticut is all I could have wished for! Way back when was fun....glad we had those days ...happy to look back.....so grateful for the love we have and life we live. Now is very, very good. Thankfully.

Wait! I've Got My Derby Hat Too!

Southern Comfort

A Daisy Date

Dog Paddling

It's Like Money In The Bank!

Grace had plenty on her agenda today HOWEVER sometimes her teenage agenda is all about her...like most teenagers. When I stopped her from spouting out her list of "needs" and "have to's" in order to hear my list of things to do.... she was bothered when my agenda included work. Parents always ruin everything. I hate when that happens.

After some further "discussion" I "suggested" she come with me to walk Daisy....just Daisy. I took Grace hostage so we could take time to get things sorted out...plans...needs...wants...demands. Hostage negotiations...sort of!

I'd like to say we went skipping down the lane together
but no. She pouted a bit. I ignored that and talked to Daisy, our great mediator. I decided to show Grace one of my favorite walks, with the beach as our destination.

It worked! We walked and talked and life got better...for both of us. One thing for sure, Grace is fun to be with...even if I'm not her first choice to pal around with. I'm happy for that...at least, I'm happy it's normal! I'd also be happy if it was more like the Cleaver's...I keep trying to remind myself that real life isn't The Brady Bunch, The Walton's or Father Knows Best! The Adam's Family, maybe!

We arrived at the beach and saw someone from sailing...the little sister of a friend. We all chatted, through sticks for Daisy, they walked the beach and collected sea glass....it was delightful. We all left the beach together.

As my mom always said, it's so good to get up and out in your town, seeing people you know...it's like money in the bank! Time spent with our kids at the beach is like money in the bank too. I remember a little old woman stopped Biff and I after church to tell us how beautiful our babies were....she said,"oh my what a beautiful family! You have a boy and a girl! You have it all...you're millionnares!" Ain't that'd the truth! My time spent with Grace...priceless.

One More For The Road

So Sweet!

More. You see, I was distracted. I took out a bunch of the candy I had hidden ...in a hefty bag...put it down...went back into the house.....and who even knows what she ate... I'm sure Daisy joined in the festivities. I think Daisy has figured out, while the cat's away, the dogs will play....and if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Fitzy Goes Frat Party

It looked like the day after. Containers strewn everywhere, wrappers, chunks of plastic....hangover.

Dum Dums

Mmmmhmmmm. Fitzy's got a sweet tooth. Or a sweet nose. I'll admit it's my fault. In the midst of tossing out hidden candy...from Easter and Grace's birthday (o.k. I know sometimes I forget that I hide things...until I've found them! In my world, everyday is Christmas morning!)
I hid the candy from us...the people in our family. We had way too much. I also have to hide food/candy way up high....you guessed it...because of Fitz.

We act like it's normal. Friends see us grab a kitchen chair, slide it over to the pantry and tuck food/candy/gum up high. We don't even notice anymore.

Don't tell Grace or T.J. ....shhhh...yesterday, Grace and I bought some cider donuts at the farm along with lots of other groceries....we got home, lugged in most of the groceries but somehow the donuts got left behind. Later,Biff had Daisy and Fitz jump in the car.....Fitzy lunged for the plastic donut container, somehow gulped down a bite or 2, Biff threw himself into the rear of the car and squished between the 2nd row passenger seats!(*please take a moment to get the visual...imagine gutteral sounds coming out of my husband while foisting his whole body after our 4 legged beast, who had a mouthful...Biff clamped his handsome her snoot, shook out the robbed, slobbery wet chunks of donut while barking out orders, NO%#@ DROP IT #*+NO**# NO@%+) As Biff worked his angle, I swung ooen the door, swooped into the back seat and grabbed the donut magnet. Phew!

At first, I admit I panicked. These farm donuts are coveted in our home...I knew word would be out that donuts were in the house. Thinking on my feet...maybe a bit of sweat on my brow...after taming the beast who had made quite a donut dent, I placed them back in their plastic container...after cutting off the chunks that our four legged friend had eaten....I cut them all into halves.

Fact1. Kids would blame me if Fitz ate their share of donuts
Fact 2. Kids would blame Fitzy
Fact 3. kids would tell me it's because I didn't train her well

Grace came into the kitchen for milk and a donut. She opened up the container and said in a rather cheery tone,"oh! I like that you cut them like this!" phew! Take credit where credit is due! Shhhhhhh. Some things are better left unsaid.

Animal Farm

Outdoors...sitting on a rock....in the yard...in the sun...petting Fitz...Jinx jumped up onto my shoulders! His padded paws...his velvety soft black fur...his motor purring loudly....he stayed quite awhile...and *poof* he jumped down, circled and weaved through Fitz's legs...and trotted off! Fitz barely blinked...she was just happy that she was still getting pet. Life is good.

Fitz...Like A Lion In The Jungle

Dreams Do Come True

Make a list. Write down your hopes and dreams. Be specific. Who you dream to be...not career(save that for another day. too many folks think of themselves as their work title...who cares? its a title-a job...not who you are!) just you as a person...you're the only one who matters for this list!

1. Who do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to be?

2. Where do you want to be living? house? condo? beach? lake? neighborhood? country? city?

3. What is your style that you envision? a. Personal style details. b. decorating

4. Imagine the people in your life...who will be there? how close will you be to family?

5. Dogs? Cats?

6. Friends? New love? More children?

7. Health...imagine good health. Happy. Taking good care of yourself. Healthy, inside and out. Write down details.

8. Lifestyle? Interests? Going back to school? Art class. Cooking class? Volunteering? Teaching?

9. Money? Big bank accounts? Real estate? How will you handle your money. Will you have extra earnings coming in? Will you have your own business, sell your art or talent at craft fairs, country farmers markets? Will you be in an office, at home? Traveling?

10. You...overall picture of you? How you live. Draw it...all of it..in color! Or cut out pictures from magazines..tape them on a posterboard.

Sound crazy? Nope. I'm living in the house I imagined ...almost everything here was on my list. Really! I'm married to the guy I imagined...all of the qualities I dreamed to find in a guy....swear! I only wrote the positive qualities that I wanted. Not a creepy list...just a list of what I knew I needed in a guy....a good guy for me! my kind of guy! I'd share my list but you need your very own!

Oh...did I mention we had a dream list of kids? We never could have imagined the love we feel for our children...but we could make a list of what we want to be as parents and what is important to/for our family. We have it on a list...the list keeps growing and changing. Guess what? Much of our list has come to be. I'm grateful. Write your list!

By dating, I learned what I liked and what was totally unacceptable. Simply the good....that I realized over time... good that mattered. Some things I learned by seeing the good in other relationships or what I loved in my own relationships..however fleeting or deep! Basically, positives. Negatived turned around into positives.

It's simple. Simply, this spells out what matters. Only to you. Do it. Try it. It's amazing. Biff and I still have our list of what we wanted in a house ...it's amazing!


Oh! Did I mention that I told my oldest friend about my "Biff list" ...she was amazed...and single. A couple of years later she called to tell me she was getting married. Her fiancé had everything on her list! Yup. She wrote her list. She's still happily married!

Write your list. Tuck it away. You will find your list again someday ...and it's likely you'll be living the life you imagined!

Memories Matter

I like this. Isn't it good to let things go sometimes? Have a day just doing what pleasures you. Maybe making your bed pleasures you. Maybe the thrill is gone!

Mother's Day is upon us. Maybe this is the time to let things go ...if only for a day. If you are a mom, take a moment to enjoy something you love. Treat yourself.

Visit an art museum. Go to a public garden or a nursery. How about a fabric store? Shop in an upscale grocery store. Maybe you're like me and the beach and the ocean are your heaven.

Give something like this to yourself this weekend. Give a day like this to your mom...take time together. Spend some time like this with your grown children...time together. With little kids, take some time doing something that's easy and fun...not stressful for you.

One of my favorite Mother's Days, we all took my mom to our favorite carousel...Biff, Grace, T.J. and me got mom to ride with us...it WAS a mother's day we all remember! My mom....about 75 years young...I'm pretty sure she did it for her grandchildren. Maybe she took the ride just because she was asked! Sometimes all it takes is an invite!

Another dream mother's day, I was served breakfast in bed by T.J. and Grace...with an envelope. It was family membership to our favorite CT. art museum! We all went that day...we all painted en plen air...buckets of water, brushes, paints canvas' and oversized button down shirts.
Magical. Fun for all of us.

It's a gift when we let go of routines and "have" to-do lists.Pencil yourself in for your time. Click on your iphone app...for you and your very own schedule! Take time. Make time to make memories.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

PUT ON YOUR PARTY PEARLS AND DANCE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

Mother Theresa's Words….The Same Things My Mother Taught Me By Example

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
— Mother Teresa