Only One Mom

It's only been a few days...close to a week. Biff has had business out of town. No need to review all of the things that have gone a little topsy turvy since he pulled out of the driveway. No need to mention that we were all sick. No need. It might make me cry. Instead, I think it's time to laugh.

Biff is always missed when he travels.... for one night or three. Some friends say "Now that the kids are older, it's much easier when your husband travels" Some women say, "Oh, I love when my husband travels...it gives me some time to myself" Easy for them to say...that's all I say.

I'm only one person!

Then:

1. Toddler voices talking non-stop, not a grown up conversation to be had without interruption

2. Toddlers tossing cookies with no maintenence man to help me through the gagging.

3. Toddlers tantrums with no one to acknowledge that I hadn't beat my children, it was just a lollipop.

4. The only adult in the house with me was "Mr.Rogers"

5. Bath, Book, Bed Cozy time and tucking the little ones in bed.

Now:

1. Teenage voices talking and telling me why "it's not fair that  ___________"

2. Teenagers, with flu-like symptoms practically ringing a bell to have popsicles, water delivered to them

3. Teenagers randomly stomping off because of something I've said...leaving me confused.

4.  The only adult in the house with me is via computer or cell phone.

5. Time for bed and gathering/prying away computers, cell phones, i-Pods  and all forms of technology.

Strange...some things never change. Biff and I always laugh because people say things like, "Oh....poor Biff...how does he do it? Travel is so exhausting." Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha. 

Family

So, here I am living a quiet life with a lovely family. Biff is a great husband.  He and I make a great pair...we both know we're not perfect so that cuts out the middleman and lots of stress.  We have to laugh...at ourselves. Thankfully, we can call attention to each others' flaws and we know we mean no harm...if anything it gives us pause....to consider what it's like to live with the flaws of each other.  Get it?  I think I got that right.

I have lots to do with this family made up of 1 husband and me, one wife (we're not polygymists...although I'm sure it sounds tempting for women,,,,since there are lots more people available to clean the dust bunnies. The husband? what's the deal with that? How on earth does he keep track of his wives....or his 347 kids?)  oops I digress..... Our family has one husband, one wife, one girl. one boy, two golden retrievers, 2 kitties and one fish.

We have 2 kids, not 347. Some days it feels like keeping up with 347.  Even 2 kids have plenty of needs....or demands....depending on the mood swings and energy of teenagers  Teens have lots of places to go and people to see and time to squeeze it all in..... in THEIR mind.  Then we have 2 parents who seem to be here primarily to squash all of the teen plans.  Not  really. It just seems that way....to them....the opposing team.  As the coaches say, "There's no "I" in TEAM".....on a day that T.J. was feeling too tired for practice, I brought up that coach speak, " -T-E-A-M-"...T.J. looked sincerely at me and said, " Yup. But mom, there is and M and an E in TEAM.  And I need some ME time." He actually had a point.

Since we're here to set some limits and have some boundaries and grow these people into fine, well adjusted, balanced, sensitive new age, well rounded, serving, giving adults so that they may then follow in our footsteps.....or run the other way......and still, be the best  people on the planet.  Not too much pressure.  On any given day it could be thought to be CRAZY to even think that can be accomplished.

With many, many, many given days and lots of prayers and patience, and a sense of humor, it may actually be possible.  Possible.  Even likely. But don't forget the flaws.  After all, the flaws are in the gen pool whether we like it or not.   Mostly good flaws....as I see it.  See. That's precisely why we must have a sense of humor......to live with all of our inherited flaws.  Generations and generations of a variety of fine, well bred, highly educated, intelligent flaws. Only the best for our family!

Welcome home..... kind of.

On our last day on the cape, Biff and I had some time alone on the beach.  In between reading our books....Biff reading "The Box" and I was reading "The Glass Castle."

Biff, once again has the greatest book for him.  detailed, specific, left brain, informative, intelligent, filled with little know facts that he'll be happy to share with his wonderful engineer geek customers.....not that there's anything wrong with that!  We have geek in us as well!  Biff has a charming geek side....I love that too....just as long as he doesn't share all of the boring details with me!

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On the other hand, I was reading my book, The Glass Castle, which I had already read a few years ago.  No, I didn't remember any details.  I remembered tidbits.  I'm easy to please.  The incredible story of all of the family craziness and chaos had me whirling through the chapters. As usual, I am spellbound by the personalities of the characters in this horrific true story.  I am amazed and astounded that the woman who wrote the story is able to live a "normal" life after surviving her childhood.

In between the pages of our books, the rising tides and the boats on parade, Biff and I took a minute....and I mean a minute.....maybe less.  I said, "Biff...."  He looked up from The Box.  I questioned, "Did you leave our house. at home, in good shape?" ....."Uh.  I was going to mention that....wow was I busy.  I thought I'd get so much more done....." I had that feeling.

We can only hope for the best!  I tried.  I left the house in pretty good order.  I cleaned.  I tossed.  I mopped. I even washed and brushed the dogs!  Ever hopeful, I said, "The kitchen?"....."Nope...not that either."  Oh well. That's when I wish I had my Samantha Stevens Superpowers!  In Bewitched, she just had to wiggle her nose.  Not so simple here.....I try....I'm not perfect..... It's o.k.  But I wanted to be perfect! As Biff always reminds me..."If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans!"  Ha Ha. Ha.  Thankfully, I married a great guy with a sense of humor.  He knows I'm not perfect and he loves me anyway!! Now that's more important to me than the perfectly vacuumed rug!

I tried.  While everyone thinks that I was away lounging leisurely and quietly hedonistic, I was actually in training.  In training for a marathon....I think NOT.  I was in training to live with out being an a.d.d. homemaker.  Homemaker.  That makes me laugh.  I can make a home.  Our house is a home.  Just not the perfectly kept home.

In my defense, I can't help the flying dog fur of our goldens, Fitzy.  Daisy is eight with allergies....she sneezes occasionally.  I try.  I do the dishes.  I wash the floor.  I vacuum.  I do all of the right stuff.....just not like the people who really know how to get the job done.  On the cape, I realized while getting out my cereal.....I get out the bowl, I get out the milk, I pour the milk, I put the milk back in the fridge, I get the spoon, i get a banana, I get a knife, I cut the banana, I put the knife in the dishwasher.......on and on.

At home, there's the pivot problem.  Fridge is on one side of the kitchen....sink on the other....utensils in the drawer on a third side....that's lots of pivoting...all for the sake of one cereal.  That doesn't even include feeding others in my family.  The dogs requires more than pivoting....the cat too.....probably more that sixteen steps for each animal.  Isn't that confusing for someone who is reading a paperback for the second time around?  Just sayin'.

Biff and I chatted about what had to be done at home.  Then we went back to our books.  We were happy to drop it.  We were happy in our beach chairs.  We were happy being together.  We were happy that we each had a good book.

I came home with the usual zeal....my notes to self while watching Kit in action.....laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, order and organization......it's day one and a half......I'm still trying.   I do try......and then....I get distracted.....gotta go...Biff and the kids are looking at pics in the other room on the other computer.........distracted, me?   ya think?

The above pics make me think that there are others out there in the world who aren't the perfect becky home eckys either!