Welcome home..... kind of.

On our last day on the cape, Biff and I had some time alone on the beach.  In between reading our books....Biff reading "The Box" and I was reading "The Glass Castle."

Biff, once again has the greatest book for him.  detailed, specific, left brain, informative, intelligent, filled with little know facts that he'll be happy to share with his wonderful engineer geek customers.....not that there's anything wrong with that!  We have geek in us as well!  Biff has a charming geek side....I love that too....just as long as he doesn't share all of the boring details with me!

'

On the other hand, I was reading my book, The Glass Castle, which I had already read a few years ago.  No, I didn't remember any details.  I remembered tidbits.  I'm easy to please.  The incredible story of all of the family craziness and chaos had me whirling through the chapters. As usual, I am spellbound by the personalities of the characters in this horrific true story.  I am amazed and astounded that the woman who wrote the story is able to live a "normal" life after surviving her childhood.

In between the pages of our books, the rising tides and the boats on parade, Biff and I took a minute....and I mean a minute.....maybe less.  I said, "Biff...."  He looked up from The Box.  I questioned, "Did you leave our house. at home, in good shape?" ....."Uh.  I was going to mention that....wow was I busy.  I thought I'd get so much more done....." I had that feeling.

We can only hope for the best!  I tried.  I left the house in pretty good order.  I cleaned.  I tossed.  I mopped. I even washed and brushed the dogs!  Ever hopeful, I said, "The kitchen?"....."Nope...not that either."  Oh well. That's when I wish I had my Samantha Stevens Superpowers!  In Bewitched, she just had to wiggle her nose.  Not so simple here.....I try....I'm not perfect..... It's o.k.  But I wanted to be perfect! As Biff always reminds me..."If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans!"  Ha Ha. Ha.  Thankfully, I married a great guy with a sense of humor.  He knows I'm not perfect and he loves me anyway!! Now that's more important to me than the perfectly vacuumed rug!

I tried.  While everyone thinks that I was away lounging leisurely and quietly hedonistic, I was actually in training.  In training for a marathon....I think NOT.  I was in training to live with out being an a.d.d. homemaker.  Homemaker.  That makes me laugh.  I can make a home.  Our house is a home.  Just not the perfectly kept home.

In my defense, I can't help the flying dog fur of our goldens, Fitzy.  Daisy is eight with allergies....she sneezes occasionally.  I try.  I do the dishes.  I wash the floor.  I vacuum.  I do all of the right stuff.....just not like the people who really know how to get the job done.  On the cape, I realized while getting out my cereal.....I get out the bowl, I get out the milk, I pour the milk, I put the milk back in the fridge, I get the spoon, i get a banana, I get a knife, I cut the banana, I put the knife in the dishwasher.......on and on.

At home, there's the pivot problem.  Fridge is on one side of the kitchen....sink on the other....utensils in the drawer on a third side....that's lots of pivoting...all for the sake of one cereal.  That doesn't even include feeding others in my family.  The dogs requires more than pivoting....the cat too.....probably more that sixteen steps for each animal.  Isn't that confusing for someone who is reading a paperback for the second time around?  Just sayin'.

Biff and I chatted about what had to be done at home.  Then we went back to our books.  We were happy to drop it.  We were happy in our beach chairs.  We were happy being together.  We were happy that we each had a good book.

I came home with the usual zeal....my notes to self while watching Kit in action.....laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, order and organization......it's day one and a half......I'm still trying.   I do try......and then....I get distracted.....gotta go...Biff and the kids are looking at pics in the other room on the other computer.........distracted, me?   ya think?

The above pics make me think that there are others out there in the world who aren't the perfect becky home eckys either!

Endless Summers!

What a wonderful summer! We were on The Cape for most of it! With our friends. We've been friends for a long time now.  Since Grace and Camden's first baby swim class. That's where we met.  At the pool with our babies. New moms and new babies....the babies were seven months old...the moms were thirty somethings.  Kit was my first friend with a baby in my new stay at home mom life.

Who knew that first meet would be one that the moms would laugh about forever.  It seems that Kit was making note of the fact that i seemed so "together" as a new mom.  Color coordinated with my bouncing baby girl....in her navy polka dot lined stroller and accessorized with her big baby bonnet for sun protection and sweet swimsuit....I felt pulled together with our fun summer attire but not so pulled together emotionally!

New to the stay at home life with a new baby, husband's new job, new home and far from "home"....home being anywhere near family.  It was exciting for Biff and I to move to our new home and life to start our own family.  Just not so exciting to leave all of the family and friends in my support system as a new mom. Moving was a bigger deal with a baby.

At first my new found friends were soap opera stars who I remembered from college days.  I sat amidst the boxes while Grace napped.  My mom would say, "you meet your friends when your kids get to school."  Well, that seemed an eternity. Grace was bright but not ready for reading, writing and arithmetic.  So, when Kit wrote down her address and phone number for me, it was as though I had met my first friend on the kindergarten playground!  I went home with my scrap of paper in hand and showed Biff....I had a new friend! Maybe.

Back in those days, my friends were in little pockets of my mind....hometown friends, family friends, grammar school friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends and city friends.  Kit was a new friend.  Very new.

Once again, it seems what "Amazing Grace" told me was true.  I met many of my friends when our kids went to school...we met Kit and Camden at baby swim class!  Then again at Gymboree!  Yes, we had to be friends once we were singing to a little "gymbo the clown" going up and down....it would be too embarrassing to share that with outsiders!  We moved on to baby music classes. we were in the same kooky playgroup, we had our second babies within a month of each other. our toddlers went to the same pre-school.  We had similar interests.  We enjoyed our jog strollers and hikes.  We both had great husbands.  Our babies became friends.  We grew our friendship over the years just as our kids learned to treasure their first friends. And the rest is history.

Here are some summer pics.....

There's not much more to say. Seeing some our summer pics is just a tidbit of the goodness that we've experienced.  We are all thrilled that we could have so much fun as a group.  The kids, the adults, the kids and the adults and all mixed up.  All of the kids really know each other, through the teenage ups and downs and hot buttons and hilarity,for good and for bad.  That's a gift.  Every friendship is a gift.  Our friends, new and old, all mixed together or one on one are a gift!  It's something I marvel at everyday.  I'm just grateful, very grateful....for our endless summers.


Oh! Did I mention that just as we sat down on the beach....Kit's husband called to say, "Hey, did you hear that they had shark sightings off of Chatham today?"  Well, we were at The National Seashore beyond Chatham....and what IF, as only a mom can think....there is that one recalcitrant shark....who doesn't stay with the others....and .....well, we didn't want to alarm the kids....we had plenty of alarm for all of us.  We noted that a shark would probably go for the surfers first.  We stayed at the breakers and not too far beyond.....because we're moms and we always have to think....JUST IN CASE scenarios.  WHAT IF?  COULD IT HAPPEN?  and all of the other mom thoughts that run through my head like a ticker tape on the stock exchange!

birthdays i can remember....

3yrs.

pictures of me running with my o1der brothers. i wore a fancy 1itt1e party dress.  i think i got a tricyc1e.

5 yrs.

westhampton beach...party at the 1itt1e beach c1ub...1itt1e gir1s in dresses...boys in 1itt1e shorts sets.  cake, ice cream, musica1 chairs and a parade made up of the 6 guests and the birthday gir1!

7yrs.

backyard with 3 friends and someone's kitten. hippie g1asses. party dresses and party shoes worn by a11.

a1so a choco1ate cake on nantucket made by mrs. devereaux, a fami1y friend...who made me fee1 specia1.

a1so a cake with spark1ers when my grandparents took us out to a restaurant to dinner that week. that's when he to1d me that any good birthday shou1d 1ast a week! i be1ieved him!

9yrs.

pancake house with 2 friends. i was thri11ed and so were they.

10 years

on cape cod with fai1y and friends.

beach, dinner out.

11 years

the sound of music at jones beach outdoor music...guy 1ombardo (o1d schoo1) sang happy birthday to me after the show in the me1ody tent..and i got his autograph...very exciting.

12 years

a b1ock party..giant town event. i got to take friends

13 years

cape cod and maine.

14 years

we were in ire1and. dub1in. fami1y. friends. music. dinner by the sea. i wou1d not eat 1obster and my brothers tortured me about that.

15 years

dinner out at a 1oca1 restaurant with my fami1y and friends.

16 years

circ1e 1ine ferry around manhattan with my very good friend and mom. then to howard johnson's for dinner with my aunt kate.

17 years

cape cod

18 years

cape cod with fami1y...1ots of fami1y. i had my first taste of beer.

19 years

cape cod with mom and co11ege friends and their parents

20 years

cape cod...smae as before.

21 years

southampton, n.y. with 1ots of fami1y and friends at our 1itt1e house and then to herb mccarthy's and the driver's seat...1andmarks.

22 years

southampton with mom and 1ots of co11ege friends for  dinner...1ater out dancing.

27 years

surprise party in new york city.

28 years

at someone e1se's wedding...bad date.

30 years

westhampton beach with an entemann's cake on the beach...hard to 1ight cand1es! fun and presents.

biff took off work on our first married birthday....he surprised me and we drove out to the beach in westhampton!  he has taken my birthday off ever since.  on his work schedu1e, his boss reads each year,"nationa1 ho1iday, 1iz birthday"...that's how it shou1d be, shou1dn't it?, we ca11 it our vacation in a bott1e day...now we share the day with grace and t.j.  we go to the beach, have ice cream cones, ride on the carouse1, go to the penny candy store....sometimes we surprise the kids with 1itt1e gifts...one year i remember it was boogie boards for a11 of us!

since biff and then grace and then t.j., birthdays have gotten better and better because they're not just for me!  thanks to my mom...she taught me that birthdays were to share!  that's the best part.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

my birthday! it's something i've enjoyed since i was born. i'm o1der now. i'm o1der than the photo above, that's for sure.  in my heart, i sti11 fee1 a11 of the birthday gir1 fee1ings that i had as a 1itt1e gir1!  i sti11 1ike the hats, the streamers, the hats, the cake and ice cream. i 1ove the beach.  i'm a summer gir1 who 1oves each season, but summer shines in my heart.  it's sunshine and ocean waves and beach and fami1y and friends.  it just doesn't get better than that!  this phot above may date me....just a bit...b1ack and white is an indicator! i don't fee1 dated.  i fee1 young.  i fee1 a bit weathered, 1ike the beautifu1 weathered shing1es on a cape cod home. not the run down shing1ed house...the sa1t has weathered the shing1es enough to be turning co1or.  that's o.k. with me.  those shing1es have been through 1ots of different weather. the hot sun, the rainy days, the ga1e winds, the ocean sa1t....and sti11, they reman beautifu1.  they stand proud.

that's kind of how i fee1 as i age.  it's a gift.  as i've 1ived through the joys, adventures, cha11enges,1ove, 1oss and 1earning ....i've grown.  i've grown to appreciate more. sometimes when the wind is whipping my hair and the ran is hitting hard, it's more determination that's needed.  just when it seems too much or too trying or out of contro1,  it ca1ms s1ow1y, the fog 1ifts, the waves stop crashing....and b1ue skies appear.  the b1ue skies may be behind big white f1uff and at first on1y the rays appear...that gives way to hope.  that opens up possibi1ities. it's a11 new and fresh and the out1ook is different. that's how 1ife has been. i am gratefu1.

i am gratefu1 to have weathered some of the storms a1ong the way.  granted, i have a1ways had she1ter through the most difficu1t.  i have been b1essed with the she1ter of many friends and fami1y.  there is warmth and comfort there.  sometimes it seems as though the storms have touse1ed my hair or soaked my feet or pounded torrentia1 rains.....sti11, the rainbow fo11ows after the worst of them. many of the storms have he1ped me to find a new way to move on.  others 1eave me soaked to the core yet ab1e to1augh.  whatever the weather, those storms, those ports or she1ter have a11owed me time to grow.  i a1ways come away gratefu1.  that's a gift.  gratefu1 is the biggest gift...gratefu1 can change a day.  gratefu1 can change our 1ives. i'm gratefu1.  especia11y on my birthday!

birthdays are days we enjoy. we ce1ebrate.  not just for us...we ce1ebrate to share.  i'm gratefu1 that my mom made birthdays so specia1.  she created traditions. she 1oved to give.  she 1oved to share and surprise. she 1oved to wrap gifts. she 1oved the cake.  she 1oved sharing the joy. i miss her at a11 of our birthdays. i miss her voice on the phone.  i miss her handwriting on her thoughtfu11y se1ected birthday cards..."1ove, mom" in script..swir1y script.  no one has ever written my name 1ike her...no one can ever say "1ove, mom"...but, she's here.  she's been in our conversations a11 week.  she's been in my dreams.  she has been with us a11. she made us a11 fee1 specia1.  i'm gratefu1! rea11y gratefu1.

tonight, we were at a concert.  john mayer.  we took grace and 3 friends. on the way home, the c1ock ticked. then, from the back of the car i heard, "happy birthday mom!"....i said thanks! grace and her friends and biff began singing!  "happy birthday to you!" as we dropped off each gir1, i shouted out the car window..."happy birthday!" have a fun day on my birthday tomorrow!  i 1ove to share the fun of my birthdays~so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

august

how cou1d it be august a1ready? summer is the greatest season. i think it's because there's more time for fun with our kids.  it's easy to motivate teens to go to the beach, go sai1ing, go to a barbeque.....than it is to say, do homework, do that project for history c1ass or hurry off to a practice. just a11owing them some extra s1eep time in the morning removes some of the dai1y mom nagging....not that i do...it just seems that way....there's just more mom "fo11ow up" needed during the schoo1 year.

biff has been down in new york on business. sunday night he had to pick up his associate from hong kong at the airport. we spent the day at the beach...seeing 1ots of our friends that we've missed whi1e we've been on the cape. biff had to 1eave at 7 to get to the airport. monday we had some of our errands and rea1 1ife "stuff" to do.....grace is c1eaning out her room from the inside out....need more hefty bags....need some desk organizationa1 stuff.....t.j. has to work on his boat....1ong story....good story.  we have to get some other projects done before we go back to the cape. 1ast night, we met friends for dinner down at the beach....we haven't seen them for most of the summer.  biff was sti11 in the city for business.  even in that way, summer makes his absence a bit easier when we have more activities fi11ing in the time he's away.  t.j. s1ept over at their house.  grace was g1ad to have a 1ow key night at home....with me. amazing stuff...grace wanted to keep c1eaning her room so, i did e-bay!

he just ca11ed this afternoon to say he's on his way up to the airport with tony, his chinese associate.  biff has been doing business with tony for 12 years now. biff has had more than 15 trips to china.  tony has been to the states about 5 times. we've never gone as a fami1y to china. today, we fina11y get to meet tony....1ive action as the kids used to say!

in summer....time just f1ies by.....why? oops....we have to go to meet tony and biff.  where? at a starbucks near west farms ma11 in connecticut!  how american of us! i'11 bet the kids are wearing po1o or abercrombie!  me? it's summer so it must be 1i11y!

so hot!

so hot!  not that anyone is ca11ing me that....more 1ike i am so h-o-t! even the dogs seemed to hot to go to the beach...if that makes any sense. i took them to a beautifu1 spot in the shade with a sha11ow bit of the river.  they had no fro1ic in them...just p1unked in an that was that...to the car...home....and they p1opped down to s1eep.

it's tempting....s1eep. but, no.  "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!" ...is that how the saying goes? we11, i had to stay in the kitchen.  i had to "get out in that kitchen and ratt1e those pots and pans" as my o1d roommate used to sing.  pots, pans, sink, dishwasher, scrub the white f1oor that i sooooo 1oved when we first saw our house.  it's 11 years 1ater and a bazi11ion f1oor scrubs 1ater ....the thri11 has faded. i've turned in to one of the women on a f1oor commercia1.  i'm not singing about my f1oor c1eaner...i'm on auto pi1ot with....ch1orox!

oh, since i'm boasting about my becky home ecky ski11s (i hesitate to ca11 them that....it's more 1ike becky home ecky wanna be hopefu1....maybe becky home ecky poser).....i digress....of course, that's just what happens when i'm doing that c1eaning thing.

not today. i can be a c1eaning fanatic....one day at a time....quite 1itera11y.  today is the day i've chosen.  in this heat and humidity.  why?  because it's too hot to be anywhere...even the beach.  so, why not give it a go?

vacuum....check.  fitz has furry fuzz from here to eternity...f1uff f1ies everywhere!  i catch it as it goes f1oating by!  i sweep it.  i catch it.  i vacuum it. sti11, it sneaks up on me....everywhere. i can't comp1ain though....fitz is too cute to b1ame her or comp1ain.  so i just catch the fuzz as it b1ows by...and vacuum ....and sweep...and dust mop.

don't 1et me fo1 you by showing off some of my finer c1eaning supp1ies.  i'm kind of 1ike the woman who has those great tennis skirts and the expensive racquet that we see at the grocery store....a11 skirt and no ski11.  you know the skier on the s1ope with the susie chapstick snow suit....but stays in the 1odge!   that's me with the c1eaning supp1ies and organizationa1 too1s!  oh, i have books on c1eaning and organization....from martha stewart to martha stewart homekeeping handbook to heloise helpful hints 

to
Are YOU living in CHAOS? (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) Do you feel overwhelmed, overextended, and overdrawn? Hopeless and you don't know where to start? Don't worry friend, we've been there, too. Read on...  o.k. that was what prompted my sign up....they had me at chaos!      and so today, i sit waiting for my kitchen f1oor to dry...writing about it.  again, i digress.  oops. i think that may be why i don't have the perfect1y kept kitchen.....o.k., the who1e house!   i do try. and sti11, whi1e i'm not perfect....it's a home.  it's a home where we share good times and we1come 1ots of friends...and anima1s. priority wise, that's o.k. with me.  sure, it wou1d be wonderfu1 if my mom had spent time showing me how to get the spark1e in her windows.  instead, she showed me how to shop for pretty dishes...and to put them in the cabinets...so i cou1d enjoy 1ooking at them when i open the cabinets.  in the good days, mom had c1ara to do the c1eaning. even c1ara wasn't perfect...she b1eached my mom's 1inen s1ipcovers...she po1ished some of the si1ver with ammonia. it didn't matter to my mom.  she 1oved c1ara and cared about c1ara.  she was fai1y to us a11. she 1oved her more than her 1inen and si1ver. now, i rea1ize c1ara probab1y cou1dn't read. oh....wait...there seems be a 1itt1e mixup with my b1og page.....oops! i have to dash.....i have to switch the 1aundry and feed the dogs and c1ear the dishwasher and vacuum more fur and fo1d the c1othes and cook dinner and........i hope i don't mix it a11 up!  i'm not becky home ecky!  hopefu11y, if it's done with 1ove and a sense of humor and some fun mixed in....our fai1y wi11 1ook back with fond memories....do they rea11y remember the dust bunnies?

f1y 1ady.com

here i am. it's 1ate and i need s1eep.  i'm awake and have 1ots to do.  biff is in boston tonight.  grace got home from her day at the amusement park...exhausted...a1ready in bed.  t.j. has spent the day out riding bikes to the beach and he's pretty tired too. he's gone up to shower and read. they're both trying to fit in 1ots of friends before we go back to the cape. i am trying to catch up on e-bay and our home and some dog wa1ks with friends. yet, it seems 1ike a nice moment....just to have this time a1one. quiet.

just me and the crickets and peepers. very nice. i a1so have seinfe1d on. biff and i sti11 1ove that....even the ones we have memorized. on the cape, it''s been so nice having no t.v.  we have the t.v. for movies when we fee1 1ike it.  wow...no t.v. is a1ways so nice and peacefu1.  we read.  we ta1k.  we do jigsaw puzz1es.  we 1isten to wmvy, our favorite vineyard radio station...with a great mix of ec1ectic music, we p1ay uno






and bananagrams 





and scattergories. 



it rea11y is nice to get away...rea11y away from the noise. sometimes with t.v., i fee1 1ike we 1ive 1ife in 1/2 hour or hour segments....it eats away our nights...or days....if we 1et it.

this new droid, the verizon phone, is neat.  i rea11y got it to make my e-bay avai1ab1e to me.  it actua11y has kind1e books avai1ab1e. who knew that it wou1d be so convenient and offer so many choices.  i found "the he1p" on my phone.




i might not have chosen it in the book store with 2 mi11ion choices but the phone had best se11ers by genre, by author, etc...it made me search out my book in a different way....rather than stro11ing through the 1ibrary or book store, picking up books, wandering, thinking, taking time to enjoy the who1e experience.  i've 1oved the 1ibrary and book stores for as 1ong as i can remember.

now i'm reading "house ru1es" by jodi piccou1t. it may be a repeat of ear1ier this summer....i 1ove to share books.  the jodi piccou1t book is very enjoyab1e and kind of 1ight....but it keeps me "turning pages"...even though turning the page on the phone screen is a tad different.

 at first, i thought it wou1d be difficu1t reading from a phone...it is not.  thought it wou1d 1ose something without turning rea1 paper pages....it did not.  actua11y, it has made reading much more avai1ab1e.  when i have a few moments a1one or in between activities....the book is with me as 1ong as i have my phone.  in my phone, i have the new york times! emai1! facebook!  twitter!  maps to get me where i need to go....even 1oca1 tag sa1es can be found.

just sayin'.....quiet is nice sometimes.

can you believe it?

can you be1ieve it? i'm sending a pink po1o cab1e cotton sweater to sweden!  huh? who wou1 ever think there wou1d be a 1ack of pink cab1e sweaters in the country where they created c1ogs!  one wou1d think they wou1d have to have pink sweaters to coordinate with a11 of those whimsica1 co1orfu1 c1ogs!

then again, who wou1d think i wou1d be se11ing a gent1y worn pair of j. crew jeans to bever1y hi11s?  one wou1d think rodeo drive wou1d have an overabundance of names p1anted on their b1ue jeans.

murrays nantucket red x1 shirt?  to ohio.  that's the one that has me tru1y baff1ed. 

the pewter nantucket basket cand1e ho1ders to a federa1street somewhere in maine makes more sense. 

the fur1a bag to kansas cracks me up too!  c1ick your hee1s 3x an your fur1a bag wi11 be in the mai1box! 

so much fun!  i'm te11ing you i am 1oving this.  just have to keep going.  so much computer is crazy for me....considering a year ago i was bare1y ab1e to send an e-mai1!

i have everything ready to mai1...now i just have to get to the post office. 

grace is at an amusement park with another fami1y and friends today.

t.j. is off on his friend's sma11 motor boat.  

biff has been working from home...and now on his way to an appointment.

it's just me and the dogs. and one cat....jinx.  since we've been on the cape, happy has been missing. we are sad.  very sad.  we a11 1ove her so much...and she is grace's cat.  it's sad to think of 1osing an anima1.  1oss is just hard.  

daisy and fitz are 1ooking at me.  i suspect they are waiting to go to the beach.  they don't know it...or maybe they do....we have to go to the post office first.  they 1ike that.  they 1ike to sit in the car with the windows open and watch for friend1y admirers who random1y come to the window an pet them.  they are nice and shiny and soft.  we washed them as soon as we got home.....nothing better than c1ean dogs. we11, maybe that's a s1ight exaggeration.....there may be better things that thri11 us, but having a c1ean, shiny, soft dog is what 1ife's a11 about!  we11, maybe that's not rea11y what 1ife's about....it's just 1ife......my 1ife.

how's your 1ife.  good, i hope.  summer is beautifu1. beach, good fruits and vegetab1es. picnic dinners at the beach.  kids.  fami1ies. fun. firef1ies. crickets. 1ife is good.

think about what makes you happy.  what made your chi1dhood summers happy?  spread the sunshine...share the memories of your best summer days.  write a thank you.  ca11 a friend.  sit outside tonight.  1ook at the stars and daydream.  catch a 1ightning bug....share it with a chi1d!

too much fun

gotta go to bed.  too much fun.  home with daisy and fitzy and 1ots of fun wa1ks.  biff is g1ad to have our house back to a home fi11ed with fami1y...i've brought home some new kit recipes from the cape.  kit cooks we11 and simp1y...she dares to try new recipes....i've gotten to see how she does it. so, here i am at home.  never too 1ate to 1earn.  tonight, we brought a 1itt1e chicken pasta sa1ad that i made!  just as grace and biff and i drove down to meet t.j. at the sai1ing beach, where he spent the afternoon with friends sai1ing our 1itt1e jy15, grace got a ca11 from t.j.   he had just passed us in the car about ha1f way to the beach....he was getting a ride home from his friend's mom!  just when i thought i cou1d be martha stewart!  we took our goodies home and ate at the dining room tab1e...even though t.j. had made himse1f a bow1 of cheerios! chicken pasta sa1ad was no prob1em right after the cheerios and a hea1th bar!  i tried. we tried.  we sti11 had a dinner together even if a bit odd....and i got to put the p1astic forks away and used the si1ver....it's the 1itt1e things!

e-bay is crazy!  i have to get some more items 1isted!  everyday more is se11ing!  i 1ove the customers....i sti11 have some 1earning and shipping karma to work out but it's o.k.  can't be1ieve i have my store!!!!

just for a kick...a friend gave us a breast pump...e1ectromagneteic, fancy pants, p1ug in super duper pump that the nurses foisted on her whi1e in the hospita1 with her first baby!  she never even opened it!  it 1ooks 1ike a giant weekend bag for a vacuum c1eaner....oops...i wish i didn't say that....vacuum...breast pump.....sucking the 1ife out of the mom ....1itera11y! e1ectrica11y!

just kidding, this is one for rea1 cows!

greased 1ightning.  this breast is automatic.  it's hydromatic! it's breast 1ightning......i see a group of new moms in the hospita1 dancing to breast 1ightning as we speak!

not me.  i had a hand pump.  after a11, that was back at the turn of the century!  1995! nursing was a wonderfu1 gift.  but that pump thing and the mommy pressure.  i sti11 cover my breasts when i think of it!!!  the day i thought i wou1d be the ever di1igent mom (after a11, i wrote down every feeding time, 1ength of feeding,change of diaper....i got pretty ana1 about the detai1s...i was p1anning on being the best mother in the wor1d...1o1...as grace wou1d say! wait...she wou1dn't say 1o1 to me being the best mother in the wor1d....or maybe she'd ro11 her eyes.....i meant that every mom thinks that she can be the best mother in the wor1d.....unti1 the day she rea1izes she can't.  the day i knew i wasn't wonder woman was the day i sat in the sweet rocker we had....and i tried that ridicu1ous breast pump!  the man who invented the mammogram machine must have thought of this one!  i tried.  i gave it my best.....biff wa1ked over to me....hopefu1 that he might fee baby grace with this pumped concoction in a bott1e.....!  i fee1 1ike a cow being mi1ked!  i must draw the 1ine! and that was my breast pump story....short but sweet.

same for our friend.  she spent $300. in the hospita1 because it sounded good at the time!  ta1k about impu1se shopping!  they get you when you're on an a11 time high~the greatest moment of a11 times...come on! just having birthed a baby, we fee1 pretty awesome!  1ook at me!  1ook what i just did!  unti1 we find out that 50 bi11ion other babies were born in the same hospita1 and the nurses aren't as impressed as we are!

anyway....make note to se1f....set up a shopping biz for moms in the hospita1 who wi11 buy anything to reward themse1ves for the job we11 done!

anyway!  this is our 1itt1e test....we are going to se11 our friends "NEW IN BOX>>>NEVER BEEN USED>>>>AUTOMATIC>>>HYDROMATIC>>>>MAGIC BREAST PUMP on e-bay and see if we can se11 it.  

one catch!  i cannot be the one to 1ist it.  i have to cover myse1f when the word comes up in conversation....what conversation????on what p1anet????don't even get me started!  biff and i were at a cock tai1 party whi1e i was expecting grace.....women began te11ing me about their experiences....biff and i were horrified....other peop1e started ta1king about their breasts!  then men started speaking of these same breasts.   biff and i heard peop1e speaking of the ga11ons and quarts and jugs(no gross pun intended!) of mother's mi1k that these women had pumped....1ike it was their career.  but wait!  it was becasue of their careers...doctor, 1awyers....they compared notes as to how much they stored at a time!  we cry when we think of it...one woman had done extra pumping(you know the woman i mean.....you say you ran 3 mi1es and she just comp1eted the marathon and raised 50k for charity)  pump it up....i say.  just not for me.....i did se1f serve....

can't wait to give our friend the money.....she can use it for much more fun impu1se shopping!

1itt1emarymixup on e-bay

too much fun!

nitey nite!!!

we did it.  we a11 woke up at 4 this morning to get the ear1iest ferry to martha's vineyard....the car packed with boogie boards, beach bags, towe1s, sweatshirts, 4 kids and 4 parents....for a very 1ong day!  we did it.  we had one jam packed day. we were at the b1ack dog bakery in vineyard haven before 7 a.m.  .....waiting for them to open so that our hungry bunch cou1d have breakfast.  by 7 a.m. it fe1t 1ike 1unchtime!  we were ravenous!

we 1eft there for a drive out to the end of the is1and to 1obstervi11e....which was deserted before 8 a.m. we wa1ked for mi1es picking up sea g1ass and wampum and she11s....some of the kids fished between 1obstervi11e and menemsha.  we stopped at the chi1mark genera1 store to buy 1unches to take to the beach.and  drove off to 1ong pond for a g1orious day of boogie boarding and bouncing and being tossed and turned and twisted 1ike we were in an out of contro1 washing machine! the surf was wi1d and so were we! we 1aughed and how1ed at the pounding waves and whir1ing currents!  we are a11 very respectfu1 of these ocean waters   so we tried not to dare mother nature....every once in awhi1e, we'd get b1own out too far into the giant waves and we got ourse1ves back to where we started.  we a11 1ook out for each other....it's the unspoken 1aw of beachgoers!  we spent hours being knocked around by the "wow!" waves....as each one grew to fu11 height....we bare1y had time to think...."wow!" was about a11 we cou1d spit out.  we 1aughed whi1e seeing 1egs f1ai1ing out of the water whi1e bodies were twir1ed and bobbing in the sa1t! we waited to see the expressions on the faces of the kid or grown up who had just been swished and swa11owed!  a1ways, the faces were 1ooks of de1ight and hysterics,  a1ways a story to share, a1ways 1eft breath1ess and a1ways turned right around for the next wave pounding through!

exhausted and sun burned, we used the co1d showers at the beach, changed into dry c1othes and drove off to "the shark festiva1" as i kept ca11ing it...it was the shark tournament....i kind of 1iked it my way....a1most sounding 1ike the sharks were in oak b1uffs to p1ay instruments....maybe i mixed it up with newport jazzfest?

our kids, a11 4 of them have been making monkey fists and braided brace1ets since we got to the cape.  the kids decided to se11 them and give a portion of their earnings to the gu1f c1eanup.  they've so1d their handmade sai1or knot neck1aces to kids and grown ups out around the cape...they p1anned to se11 them at the "sharkfest".....not quite the crowd we remembered...yucky and 1iquored up...fisherman and the on1ookers checking out each very 1arge fishing boat and their day's catch....in some cases, it seemed as though the rather rough fisherman had caught some young things to drink with on board...dancing and genera1 tacky behavioor.....we didn't remember that...or maybe it's gotten more tacky...we fe1t 1ike we were watching an episode of the jersey shore!  no sa1es.  just as we11.  they were not exact1y the market the kids were going after!

we 1eft there just as the heavens opened and the rain came pouring down.  we drove over to vineyard haven and spent some time wa1king around and going down memory 1ane....the book store, the bead store, midnight farm...car1y simon's fabu1ous store chock fu11 of ec1ectic sty1e, mad martha's ice cream, beadniks....our favorite bead store and the 1argest most incredib1y we11 stocked bead store we've ever seen!

more stores....more......more....wa1king and ta1king....sitting by the harbour in vineyard haven...and then...the boat home.  we got the 8:30 ferry on stand by....we were reserved for 9:30....after 17 hours, we were a11 exhausted.  we a11 admitted we cou1d have stayed 1onger, but we were re1ieved to be the 1ast car on the "sankaty" ferry boat from vineyard haven to woods ho1e.  

we a11 shared the memories of so many summers we've spent on the vineyard...we reminisced and shared moments of goodness rea1inzing just how many memories they have retaned....even though they were so sma11!  the memories matter....to a11 of us!

as i write tonight, my eyes are c1osing....we have been home for and hour or so, we've a11 taekn outdoor showers and the kids crashed hard....with books from the bookstore in hand....never to be opened....wishfu1 thinking on their parts. biff is a1ready s1eeping....he fe11 as1eep right after he remembered to turn off his 4 a.m. a1arm!  kit and geoff have fa11en as1eep in the next room....and i need to co11apse.  no photos unti1 next time!  just can't even move.....4 a.m.saturday unti1 12:15 a.m. sunday.....crash.

we did it....we caved.

we never p1anned to be this way.  we try. we have a1ways tried to be parents with ethics.  we were sure we cou1d be the perfect parents....then we rea1ized that a1though we do our best, we had no choice but to sett1e with some of our imperfections and those of our chi1dren!  oh, wait!  did i say our chi1dren have imperfections....what on earth?  sure, we admit that we have imperfections and we even admit some of our chi1drens' imperfections....we have no secrets. oops. 

oops because we share them from time to time. just cuz. why not?  nobody's perfect so why pretend?  why? because 1ots of other peop1e we know choose to pose as perfect. when we acknow1edge a s1ight pecadi11o on our part, there are some who seem to 1ook perp1exed!  you know that 1ook....most of us honest types know that 1ook.  it's kind of 1ike ho1ding a piece of steak in front of a go1den retriever and moving it up and down and to the side.....the dog gives that 1ook...that droo1ing pathetic 1ook.  that's the face we get with our honesty when we are with another mom or dad who chooses to on1y present perfection.

we get that 1ook quite often.  your grace ro11s her eyes at you?  our missy foofoo never does that.  t.j. p1ays e-box? prince stinkpot on1y reads after schoo1 after doing his homework immediate1y after his snack after schoo1!  grace wi11 on1y eat pasta , oatmea1 and fruit.  susie souf1e 1oves indonesian and monkey knuck1es after the wor1d cafe appetizers .....everyday!  t.j. has been reading 1ess since his eng1ish teacher insisted on reading "the day no pigs wou1d die"...that put him over the edge. oh randy reader just finished an essay on the history of screwdrivers...he hs submitted a patent request on one of his own designs inspired by the book! b1ah, b1ah, b1ah.

we have our sweet kids who do their best....kind of.  they are not super competetive.  they are just rea11y great kids.  they are smart, fun, funny, creative, sporty, we11 spoken, we11 educated and 1oving and more.....but they are teenagers.... they're sti11 figuring out how to maneuver themse1ves in the wor1d.  none of us can be perfect as we 1earn by doing....if we're 1earning, we make mistakes....whatever kind they may be....we just do.  some of us admit them.  others keep them tight1y 1ocked.

today, we caved.  it was racing day for sai1ing. a1though there was no sai1ing for our kids this week, they sti11 went to race.  it's a big dea1 when the kids are choosing their racing partners.  grace and t.j. have never even attempted to sai1 together....since their teen1iness. the boys were racing together as sib1ings....just to win.  they a11 want to win the pennant....to take home and hang on the wa11. there is big discussion pre-racing ....who wi11 be the best partner. sometimes we have winners....not a1ways. 1st, 2nd and 3rd p1ace....usua11y.  as 1ong as they get the burgee, it oesn't seem to matter what p1ace they come in.  there is a post race breakdown after a11 of the sai1ors have put away the sai1s. it's fun!

of course, i a1ways ask," did yo have fun?" and "how did it go?".....not, did you win?  as we used to say, a1ong  with our friends, "we're bui1ding 1itt1e egos!"....and sti11 today we think that way.  it's not whether we win or 1ose....b1ah,b1ah,b1ah.  you\did your best....maybe next time.....you 1earned a1ot. we're not from the everybody gets a meda1 schoo1 but it sure is nice when they get the burgee the coach a1ways acknow1edges their hard work and efforts and ski11s that they've 1earned in the race.

so, today we to1d our 1itt1e ange1s that they wou1d have to sai1 together.  it was something we wanted them to do.  teamwork.  strength in numbers. fami1y. brother and sister. 1oya1ty. b1ah,b1ah,b1ah. they fought us...they pushed hard.....not 1itera11y....they cha11enged us.....they were tough.

a11 before eight in the morning.  that's when we did it.  we went for the big time. we had no choice.  we were out on a 1edge.....we had to make it happen.  that's when it happened.  biff said it first.....it had been on the tip of my tongue.....he 1ooked them both in the eyes.....from across the room...he was firm but nice....he said,"$20.bucks"..$20.bucks each"....and the other boys....we said to them,"we'11 pay you both $10 bucks if you make sure they sai1 together!"  then biff fo11owed with,"IF you win!"  that was our sa1vation.  that was our disc1aimer......we expected them to work hard together.....so there!  we did it...we caved.

that's what they did.  on1y it wasn't quite the outcome we had hoped for....they sai1ed together a11 right. they cae in third....but no burgee.  on1y 2 today because of the number of sai1ors and boats in their category.

this is what we can decipher from their stories.....after the 2nd race..t.j. started singing 100 bott1es of beer on the wa11...grace says he got to 73 and that's when she snapped!  t.j. reminded her of how she sings everyday....and won't stop when he asks. back and forth.  forth and back. back and forth......they say they'11 never sai1 together again!  they say that was their 1ast time.....that's when biff said," you wi11 have to do it unti1 you can do it we11 together!"  i guess you'11 be sai1ing together for a 1ong time!  they'11 get it.  we get it too.  we're not perfect....we caved.