Clean House.....

Biff is off on business tonight. Kids went to bed.  I'm catching up on some e-mail, e-bay and even a little tacky television.  Reality T.V. show? Yup. I'm watching a "Clean House" episode on T.J.'s Xbox! Good motivator! After seeing a show like this, I have no problem blowing through the house and decluttering some more.  It's never enough. Never.  There's always more on it's way in the door!

Always. Even now, tossing, tossing, tossing.  The kids think I have a hefty bag attached to my hand!  

It was so much easier when we used to sing the Barney song...clean up, clean up....da da dada da da. It was such a happy little song for all of us. I admit that back then I thought that I could be nominated as mother of the year! Just to show our kids how "fun" it was to pick up toys.  I think that faded over the years....not just mother of the year but the enthusiastic picker uppers....and they're teens now!

Just the other day, Grace and I were chatting and she said, "You'd think we'd be so good at organizing after going to Montessori!" and "hmmmm?"  That's when I blurted out,"Maybe if I had gone to Montessori too things would have been different!"  

That night, the kids had some friends over before the football game. We had pizza.  We had some juice drinks. We had lots of laughter.  We had 2 dogs. We had 2 kitties. We had one fish quiet in his room. We had Biff and I and our kids and their friends together in the kitchen.....eating pizza, telling stories, laughing and joking. We were sorry to have to leave for the game....it was a joy to be with such fresh faced, cute, funny, smart, hysterical, sarcastic, sweet, friends of our 2 teens.  Our house isn't perfect all of the time....maybe none of the time. 

It's clean.  It's just hard for me to promise soap opera perfection. It's o.k., we can always blame it on the dogs.  "We have 2 goldens!" we say to worn people.  Those with homes of perfection don't usually have dogs that are the ever loving, large shedding pooches. 

We're a little suspicious of those really big neat freaks.....don't they have anywhere to go?  Don't they have friends?  Why do they have so much time on their hands. Just kidding. Really, I'm in awe of them.

Our house isn't perfect, it's lovely...just not the shiny. sparkling variety! But with a giant jar of Crayola crayons on the kitchen table and plenty of paper, no one really cared!  

The house might have a few paw prints on a rainy day...but it's our home.  We love having fun with friends here.  I think that's what matters.  Fill the house with friends and no one cares about our antiques or sterling silver dinnerware. Our friends are happy with our fine china or paper plates....that's why we're friends!

Organization and decluttering is our challenge.  Who knows why. A friend once told me that it's because I'm an artist and artsy, not perfect. True. I'm forever grateful to that friend!

We still have some kids' art in the kitchen.  We still tack up happy notes on the fridge. I have a framed mother's day list that Grace made one mother's day morning....

"SPasiel list

1. get tray, 

    put on

2. make breckfast tray.

3. make coffie, put it on tray too

4. put a vase No watter!

    and put fake flower

5. bring it to mom

MOM do not forget! mom MOMmommommommom mom mom mom"

I have it near the kitchen sink....just so I remember this sweetness when she "forgets" to take the dishes out of the dishwasher. We're a very long way from our Barney days! And Montessori. 

We still have a junk drawer and by God, T.J. found something he needed in it tonight....Praise the Lord in the heavens above! Even T.J. had to laugh.

It's home. By the way, I turned off that show....those people were too messy! I feel so good, I may not have to clean! Oh wait, the dishwasher is finishing up now....I just might have to empty it before bed....maybe I'll give Grace the day off....after reading her sweet thoughtful note, I feel the love....even if, at 15, she's not too sure about that love......

Oh well, we love our family....and that makes it a great home.  I'm grateful. Thanks for making me wake up and smell the flowers....even if it was a "vase with no watter!" with "put fake flower".....that's home.

Books I'd like to read

books,blogs and biz

Books.

I love to read. Always have. I love the library. Biff and I have always had "bookstore dates " W.we've enjoyed bookstores as a family since we had new babies ...in baby bjorn...in backpacks ...L.L.Bean style....with toddling toddlers....precocious preschoolers ....growing grammar school readers who were proud to make their own selections...middle school mumblers with minds of their own. .and now,high school students starving for a good read that doesn't include the classics. For now,that feels like work.

Sadly today, kids have so little time for pleasure reading. Thankfully,we are blessed with eager readers. OUR storytime was anytime.Bedtime was the best. Now that Grace and T.J. are older, I'm thankful for the nights we gave in to read another another.....and sometimes another book. Reading was our treasured time when we talked and shared.

Since they were babies, we had the b?ath,,bottle, book, bed routine to look forward to every night...literally like clockwork. It was a special time for all of us. Cozy time too. Actually,

very early on our routine was bath,boob,book,bed! Grace and T.J. wore their feetie pajamas ...they called them "bootie suities"...not using the bootie word as some do these days...not to suggest the derrière ...but the feet!

I think if I came home from shopping today with bootie suities for both teens, they would fill the house with laughter and without a doubt,run upstairs to get right into the soft and cozy pajamas!!!

Bedtime isn't the same these days...Grace and T.J. are up late...probably later than we realize...they play music while reading,they skim through magazines..Grace,her fashion teen magazines or People magazine and T.J. flips through Popular Mechanics or Popular Science or Mad Magazine....it's a long way from our bootie suitie nights but it's still so nice that the routine goes on. We talk about reading together again...we like the idea....we know how nice it can be....journal biggest challenge may be the selection of the book now that we ha e 2 teens with their own opinions!

Blogs are a whole different story. They still tease me for "blahhhhging" as they say. They question my E-bay biz took...taking up sooooooooo much time on the computer...that's allllllll I do, they say. Then they say,"Mom, why don't you get w "real job?"

That's when I gently remind them that I do have a real job! Amazed to be let in on some huge secret, they chant in unison,What job? You didn't tell us that you had a job!!!!

They ask what it is! I just look at them and laugh..! They really. Have no idea

That this mom thing IS a job! Oh well, I guess that's because I make it look SO easy! LOL!!!!!!!

much time on the computer

blogggggggg.....via my phone...always changing

i miss my blog consistency.....i really enjoyed it. even without the millions of followers....it was something  i enjoyed.  i hope to be able to find better balance. my ebay biz keeps me running. the whole family is learning.  grace and tj give me business advice. biff shares my enthusiasm.

i miss my blogtime. perhaps my planning needs some fine tuning....or just tuning.  maybe it is too blahhhhhgggggy for readers.i think i am over that. it is all learning. it has been good for me to have my own place. something with a touch of creativity.

i had big dreams....to write everyday. i did that. until summer. with the barbie pink computer troubles and spotty internet on the cape.

we have had a year filled with slow economy, concussion,flooding and some material loss....tighter budgets and testing teens....and we are still here.  we are grateful.  for our spirit and health and health of our family and friends. we keep learning again and again that stuff is just stuff. our forever family and friends keep us grateful and keep our sense of humor in tact.

i write honestly here. i have no secrets. secrets keep us guarded and uptight. who really
cares? usually the folks with the secrets....funny.

blogging....

  i will keep it up.
maybe my style will change.....who knows? i like it here in blogland. i still like to tell stories.....since miss murphy:s kindergarten class. i wonder if my style has changed since way back in my show and tell stories?  if i want to be really honest.....probably not.

cartwheels again....in heaven

katie's funeral was today. sad for us .....yet a celebration of her life and her spirit. many tears were shed today, lots of stories and much laughter.  it was a wonderful thing to hear words and little snippets from katie's friends. everyone has their own private memories of the goodness she shared...til the end. she touched us all with her sweet smile and her kindness and caring.

what a joy to hear those stories.....to realize how profound one beautiful girl's effect on so many can be. only 26...and she changed many other people's lives.....in her too short time on this earth.


we will miss her more than words can say. she will still be here in each of our hearts.....
as i go to sleep tonight, i say prayers for her loving family and friends....and dream of katie popping in to heaven where she meets so many family members who have gone before her....her grandparents and even my mom....they'll welcome her to their world....and invite her to sing at the piano or play it.....in my dreams of katie and her awesome spirit....as the music is paying,irish songs at the piano are sung, katie will be right ther in the mix....doing cartwheels again.....in heaven.

life is precious

life is precious. take nothing for granted. take no one for granted. be real. speak honestly with the people you love.   speak honestly with everyone.  life is better when we are real. it makes a difference to everyone around us. honesty is good...honesty to cause hurt is not...it is a very fine line.  our days are more extraordinary when we act mindfully. everyone needs a place for quiet thoughts...mine is at the beach...or gardening ....lots of places for peace.

this is not meant to be preachy or full of myself...it is random thoughts...in my quiet place at the beach...with our dogs...biff and the kids came to meet me...i asked them to come...just to be family....in a place that we love....to be together...to appreciate the abundance in our lives.  to often we forget.

katie is not well. i needed time to pray....for katie....and her family...and her close friends like claire who sit by her side...to be with her...pray for them all...the pain is excruciating for katie and all who love that sweet girl.

life is precious.

What a wonderful time we had visiting Jenna's mom.  Jenna, Gina and I drove off Friday morning and in just two hours we were in another world....we were away....from our everyday life.  It was wonderful to spend time with Jenna's mom, "Nanny."

Through the years, we've known "Nanny" visiting our friends....meeting the schoolbus, going to sports events, seeing high school musicals, at the beach.....all with her grandchildren and sometimes with our kids. Grace and T.J. have known her from the time we moved in.  Grace was 4.  T.J. was 3.  That's a long time.  She knows us all in our day to day world with our kids and interacting with her kids and grandkids.  That's a pretty comfortable realationship for our kids....and for us.

This weekend we had the pleasure of being in Nanny's world.  What fun it was to spend time with this woman on her turf.  First of all, we love her spirit.  We love her style.  We love her energy. She's great to be with. She's fun. She's interesting.  Age knows no barriers when people keep in touch with the real lives of kids and grandchildren.  I love that.

We arrived in time for lunch....out on the porch overlooking the water.  Nanny's sister arrived to join us....with delicious desserts! Here's a  taste of our 33 hours away...how to take a "vacation in a bottle"!

Take a road trip with friends

Visit a friend's mom

Be greeted with a big hello and hugs

Have lunch served on the porch

Sit at a beautiful table

Add the friend's mom's sister

Add the friend's mom's sister's dessert

Have lots of laughs

Garden

Fun in the fog

Shop for fabulous fabrics

Shop together at Marshall's til we drop....in a big cushy queen chair on display

Dinner at Japanese restaurant

Put on cozy pajamas and watch a movie that turns out to be a t.v.show

Laughs

Have a sweet.....or 2 or 3....or 4?

Sleep a new pillow and the windows open, breathing salt air

Sunshine

Wake up and see sparkling water and boats cruising by 

Have pancakes and fixin's served for breakfast.....on the porch....looking out at the canal

Go to awesome tag sales for great bargain

Pack lunch

Jump on a boat with a great captain

Blast across the bay to Kismet

Anchor for lunch

Cruise through the channel

Hours of outdoors and beauty and talking and laughs.....

Wash the boat

Tea and some pie

Pack

Thank yous

Hugs

Waves

Drive home

It felt like days and a million miles away....ahhhhhhhhh.

Woke up.

Downstairs

Kitchen

Biff. Grace. T.J. and I

Kids eating breakfast

Biff drinking black coffee

Me drinking coffee

Me hugging kids good bye before bus

Biff and I calling out I LOVE YOU as the kids approach their bus.

Biff ready to roll out into the world of sales

Kiss Biff bye.

I love you.

I love you.

Gravel in driveway crunches and fades

Dogs? eager to go outside

Jinx slinks out the door

Webster wiggles a plastic bottle top

Another sip of coffee

Out with the doggies

In p.j. and cozy slippers

Tousled hair

Walk Fitzy on her retractable leash

Daisy dilly dallies freely...close by

Quiet moment for me to think about the day

Look at watch to note the time

Mom and little ones from down the street....drive up the street..... stop to say hello 

I say good morning to her 2 little boys in the back seat

Volvo back window goes down.

I sing hello "Jack in the back" and "Billy is silly"

Moms talk
This mom chats with little boys

Nick the neighbor drives by on his way to work.....with a wave and big good morning

Moms talk about kids and apple picking and life

Sweet minivan mom of four drives by en route to various schools

Moms talk

This mom realizes that hair is unbrushed

This mom acknowledges attire and lack of grooming

This mom chats some more

That mom..younger and showered...acknowledges life as we know it
That mom mentions she has days like this

2 moms say goodbyes

Little boys wave from their car seat thrones

Then doggies and  I hustle up the hill and start walking back up the driveway

I pause....while 8 paws pause to look

I look around too

Surprise!

My top is inside out

Before I can muster up some embarrassment ...... thinking of the hoards of folks I've shared my casual sleeping ensemble with
I realize it's good luck and it's just a day like any other.

No biggie

Who really cares
I'm just me

Last night....tired.....I put my blue on blue....unsexy sleeping get up on
In the dark

Last night

Too late
Oh well...such is life...my life.
I'm still happy
It's my life
I'm comfortable
It's not a show
No beauty contest
It's real
In the door
With dogs
Happy

Sipped a fresh cup of coffee

Fed the dogs

Raced to the shower

Shampoo

Rinse

Repeat

Dry

Dressed

Packed my bag

Skipped down the stairs

Kissed the dogs good bye

Lugged my things to the car

Ushered Daisy back in the house...she was preparing to stow away in our car

Flipped on the t.v.

Clicked on to sesame street

Put little Webster in his little home

Scooted back out the door

into the car

Started

Reverse

Crunching gravel

Put car in drive

drove out of town

For a relaxing moms' overnight with 2 other moms

Visiting the mom of one for a

Day of fun

Put on p.j.s...casual sleeping soft cotton...in the light

Went to sleep knowing that in the morning

Other moms would understand

My life!

Just to change the routine
The day to day life

I had to get out of town just so I could gather my thoughts
Take time
For me
Just to think

About what to wear to bed
My own time
Ahhhhhhhhh

But
I'm still mis-coordinated and discombobulated
I didn't take much time to pack
Then again

It's o.k. I'm used to me

All that matters

I spent some time writing this morning.  I spent time doing e-mails, paying bills, filling in appointments on my calendar and that's when I read the e-mail that made me stop.  I felt like time had stopped.  Our family friend Katie is sick.  She's 26 and has lived with the miserable beast of cancer since high school.  Katie is in the hospital again this week.  She has fought this stinking disease and held her own throughout.  Today Katie is tired. She's feeling weak and only wanting life to be the life she once knew.

Katie is like a niece to me.  I've known her forever...or at least since she was born.  She is a wonderful girl with so many talents....to many to name.  Beautiful.  Katie is beautiful inside and out.  Our families have been friends for over 50 years now.  There are friendships in every generation.  We've lived alongside each others families and shared the ups and downs and mostly joys and many sorrows. We're all Irish.  The lilt of Irish laughter comes to mind when I think of spending time with our families.  Fun.  Just plain old fashioned fun.  And love.  Lots of love.  That's how we've spent our time....loving the families...loveing the children who have come into our world....loving new family and husbands and wives and sharing the joy.  Lots and lots of joy.  For each bit of good news that comes along.  For each baby.  For each wedding.  And many firsts.  And many lasts.

Family and friends are all that we get from this life.  Yes...material things may fill us....only temporarily for me.  The stuff just never seems to be enough.  The only thing that can truly fill me is the love of friends and family....and their support. We need to send our love to Katie now.  We need to send our love and support to Katie's mom and dad, 2 brothers and her sister....and oodles of other family members and friends.  That's all that matters now.  Katie.  And our loving thoughts for Katie...a sweet, sweet girl.

"j1333@

Our new kitty typed my title for today's blog post...Thomas, now known as Webster.........

<<000000000kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk=]]]]]]]]]]]]],m=> >>     is already multi tasking.  He's got talent!  Yup...I'm just like all of the other mom's in this       < <<=\\\\\\\\\\\\>>  >        helicopter/superglue/velcro world. I believe that just because our little kitty has scrolled out a few typewritten, paw punched words on my laptop, he is THE most talented kitty in the world!  Mine is the one....definitely.  This kitten is making it to the big league.  This kitten's got talent!

Why is this happening in our country?  Who are these people?  Why does everyone need to be on a t.v. show to prove that their kid or kiddy/kitty is the best and why do we have to watch them try to prove it?  On television!

We have lived side by side with some of the parents while standing on the sidelines of soccer fields or lacrosse fields, baseball diamonds, basketball courts and peeking in the window at ballet class, karate, cub scouts and brownies....... excuse me the kitten seems to have some input here!       < < < sta of ba>  >     ...who want us to know that their       < <(>>  >           their child or children have talent......above and beyond the other gazillion kids on out on those fields or wooden floors all across the country.   I feel for the kids....the pressure seems intense.

Being the best in school or sports is a dream for some kids who feel it from deep inside...that's big. Some kids seem to be poised to fulfill their parents unfulfilled dreams. We see the parents.  We see the kids.  Are they having fun?  Doesn't look like it after the game when one or both parents are doing post game breakdown.  Nervous breakdown. 

 

They say many kids are ridden with anxiety these days.  I wonder why? Parents seem to be talking about scholarships and exclusive universities....by middle school.  We hear that there is a new trend in college admissions....it's not about the grades and the multiple sports in which little kiddy excels, it's about passion and overall work and balance.

My mom always said, "Everything in moderation."....I think that applies to our kids as much as for our eating and drinking habits. what happened to that?

I keep thinking of Jon Benet Ramsay.  Oh, I've seen 2nd graders at ballet recitals wearing make up and getting bouquets bigger than baby Jon Benet.  It's just creepy.

 

The best part of my day today was a "TEENS" meeting available, through our schools,

for parents of teens in the  town.  A few of us graduated from "TWEENS"...our kids are in high school now. 

It's nice to have a safe place for our style of parenting...the ones who just do their best to have their kids do their best and find their own way with our support.  It's tricky territory.  AND it's high school, a tumultuous time in any teens life.

It's great to be with parents who have  honesty, best intentions,  a sense of humor, 

passion for children trying to learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others who have traveled this route before us.  There are meetings for "TEENS AND BEYOND"....I kid you not.  The moderator has grown children...she says there are new things to deal with even then! Thank goodness parents benefit from a learning curve just as our children do.

The letting go curve seems to be even more intense for  parenting 2010.  I wonder why. Are we all trying to hard? Where's the balance. How about our parents?  They were far from helicopters and velcro....and they loved us....and did their best too! It seems that however we choose to parent, we all end up getting our life lessons by growing right along with our kids.  Bringing up parents is a tough job, but somebody's got to do it......just sayin'.  

Parenthood, a new weekly show this season is so real life, we see ourselves or a facsimile of in every episode.

I guess we're all just doing our best for the ones we love. 

Parenthood, the movie, isn't far from the truth! 

This is a great article from the New York Times Sept.2010 

 

By the way, the kitty really tip toed across these keys....he keeps us laughing.