sometimes life is great...things all fall into place so easily...like magic.sometimes NOT. when it all seems so upside down, backwards and i seem to be in a spiraling vortex of negative events, i just have to give in to the fact that life is not always.....a box of chocolates! some days are just like that. in an hour or in a day, things can change. but, once the waves start coming in swirling and pounding me, i have to just ride the wave out....even if i'm tumbled in the surf, i just have to ride it out. i've tried fighting the flow. it seems that i expend so much energy flailing and fighting the flow that i end up like a beached whale on the shore. now, i try my best. that's all i can do. mostly, it works!
i remember, way back when, when our kids were very small....i called an old friend...i cried and asked her how she did it...how she even got out of the house with little babies when everything was so upside down. she gave me the best advice that i can remember in all of my days of motherhood. she said, "when the day is really bad, just let it be bad, give into it and get over it...it will change!"
that advice, so simple, comes to me again and again. for myself and for our kids. how do we help them through the tough times? we try to tell them life will get better...we want so badly to help! sadly, they don't want to hear it. i don't really like to hear it from someone else either. after some pathetic suggestions from a mom, usually they seem to work through it on their own. keeping my mouth shut and zipped up is not my forte...i try. everyone has their own way of working things out.
sometimes, i just have to live moment by moment and hope that things will change!
sometimes, a sense of humor can save me! sometimes, i can see my life as a cartoon.....sometimes i live the cartoon.
another gift of advice came from my mother-in-law (actually, my mother-in-law is a gift....we like each other!)...one cold, saturday in february,home alone with our 2 pre-schoolers, i stepped out of the shower, ready to start the day and.....i could NOT turn the water off! i may be pretty scrappy in a pinch or in a crisis, but plumbing was a bit intimidating! my husband, on a business trip, happened to call to check in.....only, there was a glitch....he was on the other side of the globe, in hong kong! i was panicked...trying to sound calm...but, begging for a clue....a quick fix...just so the bathroom would not be in the dining room upon his return! he tried to talk me through it...sending me to the basement to follow the pipes...in search of a red handle! nope!...no help. in desperation, i called my father-in-law, an hour away, to ask for help....same info....no red knob! thankfully, both he and my mother-in -law race to the rescue. i'm still not sure why i didn't think to call a plumber. i was still a remedial homeowner.
once my father-in-law got out his tools, life changed....the steambath was over!
that was the day my mother-in-law gave me this advice...."murphy's law usually comes into play, when mr. murphy is away on a business trip!" and....that was only the beginning of murphy's law and mr. murphy. only now, i give in to murphy....because
he pretty much makes a regular appearance in my life cartoon.
only weeks after my second baby was born, we were all standing outside on a hot, summer day as my mother started to drive away and head back to her own life.....she had been with us while waiting an extra week for baby #2, lived with us for the excitement of baby #1 and baby #2....lived through the moments of a new mom trying to learn the new balance of sharing the love and keeping everyone happy.....as she drove off, she sang these words out her car window....."someone's gotta cry!"....but, no!, i thought.....i can do this....i can work this all out.....after many tears later....my own, of course...i gave in to my mother's sing song..."someone's gotta cry"...it didn't make it any easier, but i did hear her voice in my head into their toddler years! advice taken as a gift, once again.
the greatest gifts seem to come when you least expect them.....it's just noticing the little things...they add up. somedays, words of goodness may only come from strangers...i'll take them!
other wonderful words i hold dear to my heart today came from a little old lady dressed up in her sunday finest with dated high heels,colorful coat, hat, gloves,and lotsa lipstick and cheeks painted pink.....we had just left church, feeling as though we had finished a mania marathon... we had already been up for hours and our sunday was just beginning....we were tired and in need of coffee....we were frazzled parents, for sure..........and this sweet little old lady we had never before met, smiled at us all and said, " look at you! you have a million dollar family! a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy!" our kids were just babies, we felt like the old lady who lived in a shoe, we were packed in our little condo, saving our money to buy a house,....we were unsure about where to live and wondering when it would be our turn........and the little old lady appeared like an angel! she snapped us back to what really mattered.....we had come full circle ....we were grateful again.....i still think of her to this day!
some days are like that!