Wednesday, March 10, 2010

cook dinner

is this just my life or does anyone else live like this?  from time to time we seem to have life like this and i can't believe it!  it can't be!  it's out of control....there's no stopping us!  we will never get ahead of ourselves!

during finals, a friend from college said, "i'm so far behind, i think i'm first!"

every now and then, this is our life.  it is so stressful!  i haven't gotten my act together since skiing.....i'm feeling guilty for hardly getting anything's 7:30 at night and we haven't eaten dinner.

biff is working on something in the basement/playroom to be (for the second time around after water got in).....grace is crying because she's worried about school and her trimester finals and grades and that she isn't smart and she isn't going to get in a good college...and she'll never be successful...that her grandmother thinks she's smart and i lie to tell her that she has a beautiful voice and tell her that she is, in fact, smart...i remind her that she had mono this year, she is a freshman in a new school, hard work and lots of social but she hasn't knocked herself out and really worked hard.  i tell her we all know what it's like to feel this way.  she is MAD at me for telling her "lies."
b.c. eagles college 
is/was/is grace's dream

that's for grace and for us.  we haven't experienced this's hard for us to see this happen but we can't study for her...she has to learn how to do it herself.  she has to learn consequences for her less than optimum study habits this year.

i tell her that all she can do the next right thing.  it all can change.  she can turn this around.  it's going to take some effort.  it's harder to do less work and feel more stressed and upset and overwhelmed!  i believe in her.i know she will make a change.  she doesn't believe it yet...and that's the hard part...for grace and for us.

i asked t.j. to help his dad downstairs.  he offered. biff said not now. later, biff needed help...he called t.j.....t.j. went down reluctantly as he had been turned away the first time.  biff asked him to do 2 things. t.j. did 2 things...exactly 2 ...that's it...2.  biff was bothered and he told t.j.  that's when it got kooky. t.j. said he helped. biff said not quite willingly.  t.j. said he offered.  biff said not really.  biff was MAD!  ANGRY!.....that's when the frustration and parental people in the house got mad...angry...frustrated...bothered.....ahhhhhhhhhh!

biff sent t.j. to his room. t.j. went up stairs reluctantly and angry!  MAD! ANGRY! FIGHT!in his voice.

when t.j. went upstairs i asked grace to go help biff if he needed more help.  grace was at the computer...not studying.

i got bothered.  she had some not so nice comments because i had apparently called her name too many times...just think about that...i think if you're a parent, you'll get it!  i got MAD, BOTHERED, FRUSTRATED!

and after words with biff and i, biff sent grace to the dining room table to study.   grace sat for a moment at the table...that's when i told her to do the next right thing.....and the whole house of cards fell on top of each the ground...*POOF* one moment.

so, now i'm going to do the next right thing and cook dinner.

"see" you later!

i'm still here!  it's been a whirlwind since we got home from our ski weekend.  i haven't even left the house as i'm not to driving with this concussion!  monday i slept most of the day.  yesterday i was up and taking it slow.

even a dog walk felt like it was too's just a precaution. i was up and trying to get things done at home but just couldn't accomplish enough. it's funny how that happens.....just when i think we're getting ahead, something slows me down.  life.

friends stopped by yesterday.  they were up visiting their son at a boarding school nearby.  i love when friends stop on their way through. it's so nice to get together without the planning.  spontaneity keeps life much more interesting!  for some, more complicated...for me, energized!  i love the connection.

it's been very weird to be slowed down, by my body.  my head is better but i'm trying to listen to my body's signs.
it's not so much the age as it is learning to listen.  i really feel that our bodies have stories to tell us if we would just listen.  right now, it's clear that slowing down is key. there have been times in my life that i didn't slow down to hear the signs.
this book was given to me by an old friend just because  she had 2 started me on the path of taking care of my own self and listening!  to some, it's a little sensitive new age...i'm grateful that i learned alot!
my thyroid slowed me down big time.  it had me so exhausted that i was falling asleep during the day.  i had alot of signs but at the time my mom was beginning to fail....i thought it was some kind of low level depression.  i assumed i was overwhelmed by the changes in my mom's mobility. i was so close to her that i was terrified of life without her.  and *kaboom* was my hypothyroid that was causing my slow down and my slow down had me confused.

slowing down when my body tells me to is still something that frustrates me.  it feels like it's beyond my control....because it is.  i remember having that feeling when i was expecting grace.  all of  a sudden the exhaustion was unavoidable and i wasn't used to that....i was a high energy kinda girl!  and times like those, my body wouldn't take no for an answer!

so, laying low is what the doctor prescribes for a concussion....and that's what i'm trying to do....trying....because when a mom slows down there's still alot to be done!  and that's even with a husband who does so much!  all of the time....that's a gift.

i was working on my e-bay store yesterday.  it was almost comical....every time i got some bit completed on the computer, something or someone would call me away....the computer would automatically shut down and i'd lose the work!
 some more of the fun things in my e-bay store!  i'm having so much fun....back to my retail life...this time i get my own hours!
the candle "stick" is so sweet and i love it for the cottage look! the lilly skirt has the tags!  or "nwt" as we say on e-bay!
even my blog!  my precious blog....precious to me that is! even my blog....i take for granted that i take time every day to pleasures me!  who knew it was something that would mean so much.  i love it for me and every time i get a new follower, it's a thrill.  life is good.

here i sit writing and happy to be back. even though my head is still a bit fuzzy...i can think clearly....or as clear as usual for whatever that's worth!  it's not a good idea to read or use my eyes too much because of eye strain....connected to the brain!!

just when i think i'm getting ahead, some situation causes me to fall behind!  life.  although, if i could get more help from the family i love....we all might get more accomplished!  i seem to be the queen motivator in the house...pushing to get things accomplished.  we are famous for getting things started and falling short on  completion.....of everything! 

biff's dad arrived this morning.  he had dropped off a birdhouse that he made.....for  a habitat for humanity auction.  for many years, he has made dollhouses and birdhouses to donate to the auction. we've been working as a team on these dollhouses and birdhouses for habitat for more than 10 years!

his first of many was built for grace before t.j. was born. it was part of the plan....he would build and i would paint and grace would decorate...before she was 2 years old!  it was a staple of playtime in our family!

it was wonderful for all of the girls and even the boys were drawn to it.  it has survived alot....t.j. and his friends pulled up many a fire engine to put out fires at that house!  race cars were parked in the "driveway" at the house...sometimes the house served as a firehouse for t.j.!

they had hours and hours of THE most creative play together making up scenarios with characters of all types.  it seemed to be one of the finest tools of learning how to work things out together.  i still remember their little voices saying, "how 'bout....." and "no!  this guy should use that car" and more "how 'bout"s than you would believe.  they had characters like firemen, race car drivers, construction workers, "woody" from toy story, whose name was "kenny"......arthur and d.w. from p.b.s. and so many more!  our family favorites were "pummy and bombi".....imaginary neighbors....names created by grace, 3 and t.j., 2!

 this is made from a dollhouse kit that i sold on e-bay!

 this is the kit!  biff and i have made a couple of these to give as gifts!  i sold one on e-bay and have one more listed!
i have so much more to list!  i have the pictures ready...i need some quiet time to list.

back to jim, biff's dad! since his retirement, he has always worked doing some form of volunteer work and habitat has been the perfect fit for him. he manages a crew building and restoring houses for families in need.  jim was born to be in charge....and he still is! 

he has more energy than most....even more energy than some men my age. he's 80 and still running the show!   when he's on a project, he's a man on a mission!  his mission today is the habitat birdhouse.  he brought it to me last week so that i could paint and make it a home!  it better be done well....that's the moneymaking part for the auction!  but, no pressure!

i knew i wouldn't get it done til this week.  i didn't know that i'd have a concussion and have some fog.  no matter when he brings me a project to paint, it seems i get started just before it's due to pick up.  painting under pressure is what i do creative juices go wild.

i started after dinner last night!  the kids went off to bed, biff finally couldn't stand another minute and i stayed at it while daisy and fitzy kept me company.  hours go by like minutes when we're doing something we live....i'm proof of that while i'm painting.  i went to bed by 2a.m......and woke up this morning for the finishing touches!

jim arrived by 10:15 or so.  i always worry that he won't like my color choices or that i've gone too wild....artistic wimp that i am!  he loved it.  biff was working from home so we all had time to talk.....jim said, "hey, how 'bout painting some ivy too"  and i was off.  biff went to work...jim and i sat and talked while i put on his finishing touches!

 this is the birdhouse that will be auctioned with proceeds to go to habitat for humanity!

and now some friends are here to visit!  i'll "see" you later!