so many posts, so little time. i have not been writing with the same gusto that i used to have while writing. this is always a busy time of year with spring sports and meetings in the schools and the town. i have always been active although i've tried to stay away from the ridiculous meetings filled with jabber about the color of flyers or the whose who of the committee chairpersons. after working for so many years, that all seems trivial.
my mom went back to work after years of being the Rosary Society President and chairwoman of communion breakfasts and so much more. i thought that i would follow in her footsteps until my first years at home with babies. somewhere between the junior league cocktail party and the black tie chili party and the nights out for the newcomer's club vice presidency, i realized i'd rather be home with my family than talking about them and what activities we could do with them....i know that was a run on sentence....but, my life began to feel like a run on and it wasn't fun for me.
that's when i stopped. cold turkey, as they say! when we moved to connecticut, i decided to keep it simple. i decided i would be involved only where it really mattered...to me and to our family.
that's that. that's when i began listening to people and hearing their agendas. whether social climbing or p.t.o. climbing, i steered clear. it finally came to me that i didn't need to run the show anymore. after running our show in college and our city days, i was done.
that's that. now i live freely and answer to no one but me, my conscience, some particular passions and my family, which is my passion...and there are days when i don't even get that just right. overall, it's a better way to live.
blog life can get too busy too. i love to write. but, why write and write and take so much time? there are many things that need to be done at home. especially, after the flooding, which now seems like a puddle compared to nashville and lots of real flooding down south.
we finally have our washer and dryer. we still have 2 giant dumpsters. our basement is clean yet the walls have been ripped down. our family room is filled with bins of e-bay to list.
e-bay is now income for me. i want to make that my contribution to our family. i had a very hard time when i first stopped working and contributed only to the life of my baby. that's a gift that i'll never ever regret. but, i do remember the reality of not making money myself. it was wonderful not to work and give attention to the baby that was my dream come true. it was weird to be dependent....as i'm sure it was huge for biff to be depended on...talk about pressure.
sure, it would have been fabulous to have two incomes, but that was never ever a consideration. my commitment was to my kids and their lives. that is all that mattered to me. maybe if i had been a brain surgeon or a high powered lawyer, that never would have come up. maybe i never would have considered the possibility of staying home. if i was contributing something major to society in some way, maybe it wouldn't have been possible to leave something i was so committed to.
thankfully i wasn't saving the world so i was able to be home with our children. even then, it wasn't so easy, knowing our choice would make it a bit challenging and we wouldn't have a house as soon as we had hoped. we knew that we would have struggles. we knew biff would need time to develop a new sales position and territory. we knew all of that.
still, we committed to do things the old fashioned way. although i stayed home and biff worked, we had a wonderful partnership...we still do. throughout some of our most challenging times, we have respected each other and realized the goodness and blessings we have in our lives.
that has made the difference. for all of the obstacles, we have been side by side working them out. challenges with challenging times....certainly our challenges have been minimal...challenges of parenting day to day and being on the same page while running a family has made a difference i'm sure. support and love have made the difference. grateful for and proud of each other and our children has made the difference. our sense of humor has made the difference. our flexibility and malleability has made the difference. our families and friends have made the difference.
right now in our lives, a contractor or a maid could make a quick difference, but that's o.k. because hopefully, at the end of the day, we have made the difference...in our life as a couple.... and a family. that's all that matters.
although, i would still like the contractor....and a maid....oh, maybe a swimming pool and someone to serve me lemonade or iced tea....or maybe just a vacation would do it.....or maybe we could move to a new house with new appliances and new paint and new floors and new .......nah!
what would i write about?