Tuesday, May 4, 2010

funny, but this week i am exhausted.  i have lots of running around to do.  we spent some of the weekend out and about. it seems whenever we take some time away from the house when we should be taking care of our life and our home, leaving seems to make the regular stuff pile up.  Why is that?

today, i had a cup of coffee at my favorite farm for a bit of quiet.  The new life at the farm is just amazing to see.  They had a kitten there that the mother had left in the barn.  It must have been a week old. The sweetest thing to see in all of life is new life.  whether a kitten, a calf, a puppy or a beautiful baby, life is good.  a new life is miraculous.  just miraculous.  bigger than big.  bigger than life, if that makes sense.

to take a moment in the day and have something so simple be so big is a gift.  i need that time.  i need to stop and see the beauty around me.  it helps with the other chaos in life.

we still have 2 dumb dumpsters.  the good news is that the washing machine and dryer arrived yesterday!  my mom's anniversary!  she used to call them her toys.  who would think that i could be just as happy to get the new washing machine.  does anyone out there remember how excited i was when i finally chose the "right" vacuum!  it was a huge as marrying biff.  it was a vacuum that i could really enjoy.  we can work side by side, everyday.  we work well no matter how much stuff we have to deal with.  just like biff and i, the vacuum and i just have to suck it up sometimes and quite literally we have to go with the flow.  Sure, we get clogged up with  the dust and hairy bits of life....but we just keep rolling.  sometimes our cords are too tight.  sometimes, we just have to tug   and let it go, take some time to recoil and move to a way of thinking or a place that will give us a new outlet.  sometimes we all need that outlet.  time away from the tugs and knots in life.

well, the same goes for the washing machine.  the new one is larger. larger isn't always better.  sometimes with more, we jam things up. we get too full. too much to handle.  we start to shake, rattle and roll but not the music....our heads. too much gets us rattling and kooky.

the new washing machine is energy efficient.  we need some energy efficiency.  i have been running on spin cycle for quite some time.  i've been writing my blog. i've been working as an advocate for our kids and lots of madison issues.  i've been selling on e-bay to earn some income and release some of the excess of our lives.  

who knew how much fun e-bay would be.  who knew i would get here because of e-bay by way of facebook and my blog. 

it has been too much.  like a vacuum that's cord is being tugged out of the outlet and the washing machine that begins to rattle from an unbalanced load, i too have had too much on my plate.

sure, i'm a mom who doesn't "work"...funny, someone said, "how do you spend so much time on facebook?"  

it struck my funny bone and my bother bone at the same time.  all of a sudden, i became the norma rae of facebook
and wanted to stand up for all of the good relationships that facebook encourages. for some who are happy to live a very solitary existence, it may be just that.  a time waster.  i barely have time to stop in to facebook anymore. it's a bright spot of my day.  it makes me feel connected.  the e-mail thing has never done it for me.  it lacks warmth.  cold and with a click, it's gone.  i've never been good at that click... feeling that by pushing the send button, i would be connected.  dtheat send button and that open in box seems very superficial.

facebook, for me, is much more conversational.  yesterday, i posted my status...." it's mom's 2nd anniversary and i miss her everyday!"

wow!  so simple.  i did it to take a moment to think of mom. just a moment to stop and remember her.  i'm grateful for so many wonderful, caring, loving friends from all chapters of my life responded with caring words and memories.  now, that's all i need.  to know people understand and acknowledge how much we miss her and how much they care.  that's worth all of the 2  minutes time that i had for facebook yesterday.  today, i saw those comments and felt so good to have shared with so many who understand.

that's nice.  my washing machine in my head is tired from jamming too much into it.

i need to get some time in the dryer to roll with it.  just roll and relax.  i need to roll, relax and tumble in warmth and comfort and something to soften the busy-ness.  

warm weather and a great beach with turquoise water sounds good.  i ache for that.  now is not the time.  

i will get my heart warmed by the comfort of good friends and good family and good memories.

we've been through lots of "crap" in the last month!  excuse the word...i couldn't resist.  we need to dump the dumpsters and be free. we need to have clean and fresh with lots of new life...like the farm.  we need to look around and be grateful.  the miracles are there...we just need to stop, stay on the rinse cycle for awhile and stop spinning!

that's what i have to do. now.