Tuesday, December 22, 2009

a true friend




 "maaaaaaaaaaaaaaary!" i squeaked slowly........"maaaaaaaaaaaary from davenporrrrrrrrrrrrt, iowa!"  "llllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-eeeeeeeeeeeez" she said with her flat midwestern tone.  my roommate from freshman year in college called.
 tonight to let us know she got our christmas card.  she was amazed at how our children had grown......so much since last year.....since the last christmas card!  she's one of my greatest friends of all time.....considering she  didn't really speak to me, unless desperately driven to it, from the first week of school in september through thanksgiving weekend,,,,,,when she came to my house at thanksgiving.  once again, she didn't really have much choice, since she was a long way from davenport, iiiiiiiiiiiiiowa.  


and being the not so quiet roommate, we noticed within minutes that  the only thing we had in common was that i was the only girl in my family and she was the only girl in her family.  i had two older brothers....alot older.   she had 7 brothers, mostly all younger!  i was very excited to be away at school and overwhelmes with all of the possibilties.....especially having so many people available to play with at all hours....day or night.   maaaaaaaary was pretty much far away from main street, iowa and a bit home sick   and kind of freaked out by so many "sisters".  she was a bit homesick.....the only time i called home, by a payphone down the hall, was to tell my mom that my roommate didn't talk and maybe get some advice.  it was my mission everyday to just try to make her talk to me!  i met lots of other friends .....but, maaaaaaaary was my roomie.....we were supposed to be friends.....we were supposed to stay up all night talking....telling stories.....


that was not the case.  mary was happy to have time in her room alone.  she was sweet but quiet.  others thought she was a bit standoffish.....a bit aloof.   i perservered.....when it came to talking, it's no wonder she was quiet.  i probably rambled on and on......nervously....just to get some kind of feedback!  anything.  she did tell me that her terrarium was kinda special....one of her favorite brothers had given it to her as a gift a year earlier, when she had her appendix removed.  she cared for it enough to bring it half way across the country to her new home in college.  she was very thoughtful and added some great touches to our new home....10 feet by 10 feet.  we worked together, quietly, to decorate our new home.  we found out that we both loved sweaters.  that was enough to start our  friendship.....for me.  maaaaaary may not have been so sure.


one day, the first week of  school, mary announced that she had real iowa popcorn.....and a popcorn popper. and that spelled popcorn.....party.  "corny" (sorry, i couldn't resist.....all these years later....i just thought of it!)  but a great start to have some fun at our new abode!  that was great....everyone knew maaaaaary now.......just a little tricky to get her to talk!


the same week, as maaaaaaaaary was beginning to come out of her shell, she took a walk to town with lots of others.....to look around and get aquainted with the town and the kids.  i decided to clean up our room....i thought that would be a nice roommate thing to do......mary was neat, orderly and organized......i could help to do my share.....dusting, vacuuming and windexing, singing along with the record player (really dated!)....it was the extra windex effort that did me in.....i gave a spritz to the terrarium, the exterior glass......tripped and CRASH....oh dear God...i actually prayed......it was then i heard a voice call out, "was that liz?".........it wasn't God, it was a new friend down the hall....what a reputation.....already.......and now it's her prized possession!  my quiet roommate....i was just making some headway!  this was horrible....i was terrified.....i "broke" (sorry!) ot to her very slowly....she was kind of sad, but understood.  we replaced the glass...it wasn't quite the same, but she seemed to deal with it and me rather well.


she was even more quiet.....it took some time....lots of time....she came home for thanksgiving.....thank goodness for my brothers....they helped her to feel right at home...


we made it through the first semester.....with lots more mix ups....mine.....she continued to adapt.  we were working it out....slowly.  we left for christmas break....a month.  since i would be driving home and she would be flying, she asked if i would please take her terrarium home....it wouldn't last without a little upkeep.   this was my chance to make it up to maaaaaaaaary, my almost, not quite, friend......maybe.


in the christmas  rush, i turned to check the room, and locked the door.  i drove home.  i noticed i was missing something....maaaary's terraaaaarium .......i was panicked!  i called the school.  i called the head of the "washie sinkies"....little ladies, who cleaned the sinks in our rooms.....they would knock and say, in broken english, "washie sinkie, washie sinkie!".....no luck.....they were home for christmas too.  my heart sank.


we came back after break....i poured my heart out to mary...i thought this would be the straw that broke the camel's back....it wasn't......maaaaaaaary laughed and said, "liiiiieeeeeeeeezzzz, it's o.k.....it's not that big of a deeeeeeeaaaaLLLL"


 we were friends....we have been friends, through thick and thin......my mom loved maryyyyyyyy.....everyone got to know her quiet, funny, thoughtful personality.


"whats the deal with texting.....what's the deal with facebook....what's the deal with blackberries.....with digital cameras uploading to the computer....what's the deal with blogs" she asked me tonight.....we laughed because she had been the ultimate wall street woman of the 80's and early 90's....and she was asking me about technology! 


   
 she always askes me about the kids she always loves to hear about the kids....genuinely....we laugh and laugh just because she tells me she thinks i'm a good mom.......i laugh, but i'm grateful to hear kind words from a good, quiet friend  of course i tell her about the kids and  the techno world they live in........what's the deal with your blog..... i said, "read mine, you'll understand....of all people, you will recognize little mary mixup"!







mary lives in the country.....with her husband....in the country....in california....they are mellow...together....and happy......together.....and quiet together......and laugh....together......she and her husband own a business....together......they share one computer......they have a beautiful dog.....the dog wears pearls....fancy.  maaaaaaaary loves all things beautiful .....she likes simple beauty.....one great thing rather than 12 mediocre things....she wears hats....doesn't get sunburn....she is one of the most thoughtful, sweet, beautiful friends i have....she's a great listener.....she's a great sister, aunt and daughter.


imagine..... all that i could have missed...... friendships mean so much to me.....it's christmas time and i'm grateful for great friends....loud and boisterous, quiet and thoughtful, near and far away.........and with lots of patience!






....maaaaaaary loves pearls. she sent them to my baby girl when she was born.....everyone of our college friends thought pearls to be a mandatory accessory......her note wit the sweet pearls said, "every girl should have some pearls....welcome".......i'm glad she sent pearls instead of a terrarium.


tonight, she asked if grace still wore her pearls....."yes," i said, "and they're not even broken!"  we laughed some more.....she's a true friend!