Thursday, May 20, 2010

i'm still here!  crazy week...lots of lasts...last grace lacrosse game...she scored a point!!! then, the team won by one point!! happy and so proud of her hard work.  it's been a big year of big and some tough transition getting momentum for freshman year...starting with mono...missed some school...lots of great social life...lots of learning and time management and hard work and new friends and lots of lessons learned by the kids in town.  a big year of growth...mentally, physically, emotionally...exhausted-ly!  love our girl.....and she loves us...NOT right now...we are the meanies...we have to set the rules....we are not a family democracy.....we love our kids like crazy....we're parents and we are learning as we go....we make life too hard....we like to laugh....we like to play....and then, we go and ruin it all by setting some boundaries!  we have had to really stay a united front this year.  high school is a whole new territory...for the kids and the parents.

a friend from montessori days sat next to me at freshman orientation....we talked about our kids...we both enjoy each others' children...we've all been together a long time...and we care...genuinely about our children and the other montessori graduates we (parents and children)......we compare notes....she has one older girl...and one younger boy....we parallel and we bump and we glide alongside each other.

we talked about the differences in parenting style.  we talked about the love of our kids. we talked about the pressures on our kids.  we talked about the old days.  we gabbed about our own lives and how we've grown...what we do while our kids are at school (eat bon bons....just like they suspect!)

while talking about the new life of teens and rules and hopes and dreams....as we sit at orientation....we spoke of the challenges and the tough job we have to keep putting up boundaries....some parents don't...so our boundaries have to be bigger and stronger....after all, this is only the beginning of high school....school hasn't even started!  

that's when i said, "wow!  those parents with no rules are really making my life incredibly difficult!  *&$%#@Q@#$$%^"
i continued, " i think we're pretty easy going parents and although we want to keep our kids in line, we want them to have some independence and learn their way.....only, when other parents don't set boundaries or stay on top of what's going on......"

lizza, my friend...seemingly new...although now it's been more than 10 years, looked at me with her big brown eyes and smiled....knowingly.....after all her daughter was two years older....back in the montessori days, that seemed like she was 10 years older! 

lizza looked at me, nodded... and with her hand made a sweeping motion towards the gathering of other nervous, confident yet insecure, bedraggled,   frazzled, overwhelmed, preoccupied, exhausted, proud, frustrated, hopeful, trusting, lost, dazed and confused parents...whose summer had also been cut short for this eager administration's subtle-y mandatory meeting to welcome us all....and as her hand slowly swept across her lap as if sweeping across the whole hustling, bustling, chattering, whispering parents...married, divorced, step-mothered, step-fathered, widowed, single, co-companioned, life partnered and caregivered parents ......with issues of dependencies and codependencies and alcoholisms and workholisms and rage-aholisms and fybromyalgia-isms and xanex-isms and prozac-isms and compulsively clean and organize-d and exercise-d and obsessive-compulsive disorder-d and gambler-anonymous-d and overeater anonymous-d and anorexic-d and neurotic-d and apathetic-d, anxiety-d and post traumatic stress disorder-d and emotionally distant and emotionally dependent and distracted and disturbed and polly-anna-d and put on a good face because my friends will wonder if my husband still lives with us, and look at my great hair and sandals and club shirt and vacation monogrammed and cell connected and politically connected and socially connected and mentally ill and hyperactive and a.d.d.-d and immature and uptight and relaxed and traumatized and denial-d and  well travelled and highly eduacated and under-educated and non-confrontational and in your face-tional and pregnant with the 10th child-d and artsy and intellectual and well-heeled and country clubb-d and beach club-d auditorum and she said,

"SEE ALL OF THE PARENTS IN THIS ROOM.....LOOK AROUND......LOOK AGAIN.....KEEP LOOKING..........................EVERY ONE OF THE PARENTS IN THIS ROOM WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.....DO YOU REMEMBER THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF KIDS YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL??????????"


DRUGGIES, DRINKERS, PARTYERS, SLUTS,  PROM KINGS,  PROM QUEENS, HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS, R.O.T.C.s, VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTERS, THEATRE JUNKIES,  MATHLETES, DEBATERS, CON ARTISTS,  LOUD ONES, FUNNY ONES,  CLASS CLOWNS, THE MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED, THE MOST POPULAR, FUNNIEST, WITH THE MOST SCHOOL SPIRIT, THE INTROVERTED, THE BEST DRESSED, THE  MOST OUTSPOKEN, THE CLOSETED, THE CONFUSED, THE  HAPPY, THE PEPPY, THE JOCKS,  THE NICE KIDS, THE DREAMER, THE SWEETEST, THE QUIET ONES, THE CHATTERBOXES, THE HONOR STUDENTS,  THE ROWDIES, THE  POT HEADS, THE CLASS CUTTERS, THE JUVENILE DELINQUENTS, THUGS, BEAUTY QUEENS, NERDS, AUDIO VISUAL GEEK SQUADDERS, GOTHS, ARTSY-FARTSIES, HIPPIES, BOHO, PREPPIES, CRUNCHY-GRANOLAS, , PRIMADONNAS, BOY SCOUTS, GIRL SCOUTS, FREAKS, PRANKSTERS, JOKERS, TROUBLEMAKERS, GRATEFUL DEAD-HEADS, THE EXCHANGE STUDENTS, THE  UPPERCLASSMEN, THE LOWERCLASSMEN, THE GYMNASTS, THE TOCKET SCIENTISTS, THE HEARTBROKEN, THE TEASERS, THE CLUELESS, THE UNDERDOGS, THE OVERSEXED, THE  DRAMATIC, THE  SICKLY, THE PATRIOTIC, THE BRAZEN, THE PONY TAILED, THE DOROTHY HAMILLED, THE CITY SLICKERS, THE COUNTRY BUMPKINS, THE CLASSY, THE TACKY, THE PATHETIC, THE ARROGANT, THE OBNOXIOUS, THE PROUD, THE FOCUSED, THE TATTLE TALERS, THE PIG TAILERS, THE MULLETEERS, THE BUZZIES, THE  SHORT, THE TALL, THE BLUE EYED, THE, BLONDES, THE BRUNETTES, THE DISHWATER BLONDES, THE ZIT-FACED, THE SHY, THE OUTGOING, THE  RAGGAMUFFINS, THE BROTHERS, THE SISTERS, THE WIMPS, THE BULLIES, THE GREEN EYED, THE FRECKLED, THE BROWN NOSERS, DREAMERS, SPACE CASES,  WILD,  DRAMATIC, LIARS, CHEATERS,INTELLECTUALS, SPACE CADETS, MAJORETTES, CHEERLEADERS, TOUGH GUYS, PHYSICAL EDDIES AND EDWINAS AND ALL OF THE REST THAT WE MAY HAVE LEFT OUT!

OH, BY THE WAY......NOW THEY ARE THE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND ANOTHER THING....THAT WAS JUST GRACE....I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO T.J. AND HIS WEEK, MONTH, YEAR AND FUTURE.


AHHHHH.....JUST ANOTHER DAY EATING BON BONS!