Friday, February 5, 2010
it's something that i've only discussed with moms of girls. the moms with boys live in a parallel universe.
they know nothing of life with girls.....nothing except the bazaar behavior of their own life....how life was as a teenager...chock full of stories....good, bad and ugly!
we've heard the usual stories of sulking teens, we've heard of the teens at sleepovers, we've heard the stories of untruths and stories half told. we know. we remember. that life seems like yesterday and a very long time ago...all in the same breath.
i never want to presume that i know everything my kids are doing. we meet lots of parents...along this bumpy parenting road....that seem to think that their kids are above making a mistake. call me crazy, but i feel like all i can do teach, live as an example, watch, talk to other parents, share information, pray and be here for them. and that's about that. did i say pray?
and that's with really good kids that i'm proud of. really sweet, kind, loving, compassionate, caring, sharing kids.....but..they are still teenagers! that's the hard part...for them and for us! we all know the pain of learning about life, trying to pull away while trying to push limits....trying to act the appropriate age while feeling like having a tantrum. everything is topsy turvy...inside their bodies and outside! it's one of the greatest time of life....and one of the most intense, learning life lessons....and how to deal with parents, friends, teachers and peers. every bit of life is changing.
was i describing parenthood? actually, as parents we are going through some of the same lessons. we are trying to hold our standards high to help them to be the best that they can be. that's just as people! the other challenge is to help them be the best student that they can be.
it is a daunting task! everyday, i hope that my best is good enough. i try to trust that if we're doing our best, at least they have hope of doing the right thing and staying on course! but even in the best wind, a sailboat with a great sailor has so much to consider....the boat, the crew, the depth, the weather, the sky, the tide.....and that's our life everyday...and that's the same for our kids.
they're just doing the best that they can do...and it's a struggle to do all of that and do it with the intensity of hormones and emotions and bodies changing and schoolwork and friends changing....and the whole world is changing.....yikes.
so tonight is the sleepover. we only have three girls sleeping upstairs. all of their parents have checked in...they are all nice girls.
our house is safe and peaceful and filled with laughter and a sleeping brother and a quickly fading dad.....and mom. we're all having a very nice night. they have been to the movies, had pizza and birthday cake....
and now, they are upstairs...making phony phone calls! hysterical, innocent and fun!
they all have their cell phones. they all text. they all talk and have good fun. they'll watch a movie on a computer screen. they may use the computer.
and still i worry....because the world comes into our world with all of the techo living. i can't protect them from everything. oh, i want to. we survived. our parents survived. i just pray that they will survive!
oh, earlier tonight, i gave each of the girls bags of candy to take to the movies....my daughter was thrilled. after "thanks mom"...she said, "o.k. mom! stop being so mother-ish! pleeeeez!"
yay! it's the weekend! there is snow expected for the weekend. i love when we have so much snow that we can just stay in by a roaring fire and play games like monopoly and clue and......oh wait! that's not my family anymore. those are my snowy day daydreams! this is how we lived growing up....oh wait....i didn't get that either!
i was finally able to play scrabble because i could spell and everyone was tired of the game.
oh, i'm not complaining. it's just my dream.
when the kids were little.....if there was snow, they were up and trying to stuff themselves into their snow suits, boots and hats to run out the door. i remember the chaos. there was so much excitement in the snow. it was like a puppy when you leave the room and come back.....it's all new again...everytime, it's a surprise! weeeeeee!
enthusiasm! excitement! fun! all before 8 a.m.! every snow day was an event....joy to the world! getting out the sleds. kids laughing.... making a snowman....working together......creating.... making hot chocolate. serving hot chocolate in the snow.....tossing snow balls....walking through the woods.
there were fingers wet and cold.....socks wet.....toes frozen......snowballs in the face.....ears frozen........whining...... sleds rolling over.....snow down the back.....crying......runny noses.
there were wet snowsuits peeled off onto the wood floor.....boots kicked off at the back door.... mittens tossed over by the heater......wet socks kicked aside..... soup...... more hot chocolate......p.b.s.....quiet moments.
then, a repeat performance.....snow suits on....clean socks....dry clothes...dry snow suits....dry mittens...dry hats.....zipped and buttoned and velcro'd......for more fun with more kids!
all before 10:30 in the morning. on and on throughout the day. life was living from one event to the next. everything was an occasion. every word required an exclamation point! it's all a blur! thank goodness for all of the photos....in an instant i can feel those moments....and remember the chain of events.
now, our kids are barely awake at 10:30. when they wake up, they feel relieved....as though a snow day means no school...no rush....chill out....sleep some more......roll over.....ipod.....i-touch......slowly roll out of bed and down the stairs.....grab a bite to eat or a sip of milk....and slowly step over to .........the computer.
never even a thought given to outdoors. no phone calls to make plans to go ice skating.....sledding....frolicking in the snow with friends......nope......... no way.......it's too cold. too tired....some down time....hang out.....facebook with friends....i chat.....text......hang around.
all of the suggestions i make.....a game of uno....bananagrams....trouble....cards....nope.
oh well...there's always a fire in the fireplace.....nope.....the wood.....needs to be chopped.......later.
a duraflame will have to do. it's still nice to have a snowy day.
it's just different these days.......we will cut the wood........we will have a fire in the fireplace.......we will be home.......it will be quiet......we will go out.....to walk the dogs.
a snowy weekend can still be cozy. i can dream, can't i?
take a few minutes and have a laugh...this story reminds me of my life...just when i think i'm all dolled up with my makeup, mascara...even eyeliner....and grace comes home and says,"mom, were you crying?"....uh.oh....i walked around like this?