Thursday, April 8, 2010

this link below is a very funny song by kate heidke miller, an australian singer.  it has some very spicy language but in the case of a broken off love from long ago....and that old beau has found you on facebook!
she was the warm up for ben folds last night.  quirky, great singer, very kitchy and out there!  it was great for us...especially since we live such provincial lives in connecticut. she was reminiscent of the actor friends we knew in our 20 something lives in new york city!

she's a singer with some wild style and she's loved in her home australia and other spots in the world.  of course, she may take a while to hit the big time in new york!  what i loved was hearing her creativity and joy in her work!  it takes so much for an actor, singer or artist of any kind to stay true to themselves....just putting it out there!

1st version...
2nd version...

i do think if you've ever loved and lost, you'll enjoy this's the same old song, but with a different meaning since you've been gone!  the story has been the same  forever and ever!  kate's version is updated to facebook status!

so far, facebook has been fun for me.  It's really fun to be in touch with so many folks from yesteryear.  it's not that i'm filling my life with people from years ago and hoping to forge new and better relationships....i'm aware....and that's not my sure is lots of feels like "bumping into friends" in our little town or after college in  bustling city street!  i've always been one to keep in our friend susannah used to say, "are you going to invite all of your friends from kindergarten to your wedding?"....well, not quite...but we had friends there that we had known our whole lives....and my second grade teacher too!  susannah was not so far off.

so, to me facebook is just popping in to say hello to a boy from 7th grade....or some of the fun quips some of our old group from our little private school..... a cousin, i have 23 spread all over the aunt or in law ...a niece or nephew....sharing little bits and bobs of our lives allowing us all to have a little more connection.  seems to me, if there are such diverse groups of people on facebook, we're all looking for a little more connection in our own world.

it seems like today in our giant world, we barely know our neighbors. it's strange to me for so many people with so much in common...if only a town or children or dogs or barely know the names of the family next door or on the next street.  Maybe we wouldn't care to break bread together but it seems much nicer when we have a little connection!

That's been on my mind lately.  we live in a wonderful town with wonderful people....homogenous in most ways and so many interesting people with a variety of interests, careers and passions.  we all cross paths every day. living our own lives, taking care of our children, working long hours, living our busy lives side by side...with no connection.

i remember a long time go, working at a bank, interviewing representatives from companies eager to get our business to install our first cash machines.  at that time, the woman pitching her business explained to me that "someday in the future" we would all carry one card that would allow us to access money, pay for groceries, fill our cars up with gasoline and buy our movies to bring home to watch with our families at our home. 

all of this seemed appalling to me...impossible actually.
kate, the saleswoman, had information that indicated someday in the future, we would all be living close to home....working on our computers....staying home and watching movies rather than at the movie theatre....almost reclusive.

are we there yet?  maybe that's a stretch....we are living in a world that allows people to "connect" with computers....seems that it started with e-mail rather than the written note.

we've been to town meetings that show our children in the community "aren't feeling the love of the community, don't have many role models outside of their own parents, many are left on there own too many hours....and i wonder why they don't feel connected!

people move...relocate...move to a bigger house...a "better" happens. is it better?  double incomes, better cars, more vacations, better toys for young and old.....where's the connection?

Visiting my hometown over easter weekend, we drove up my old street and by my old house...i pointed out the houses and called out the names of our neighbors. a suburban, bedroom community....designed by the metropolitan museum of art with american artist as street names....families knew each other.  most moms were home.  kids played outside...for hours...and hours. kids rode bikes....everywhere.  there was supervision but no helicopter parents. there was unstructured play which proved to be creative and seemed that all were included.  no rules other than the unspoken rules...courtesy.

grace and t.j. laughed in disbelief while i rattled off every neighbors' name while pointing to their house. the latimer's, the foscato's, the mc erlean's, the o'gorman's the potter's, the northacker's, the schmullins, the brooks', the mc dermott's, the pugh's, the erickson's, the saunders', the fenn's, the breenans and more.  the unanimous favorite was the treecarten's! knowing that their 2 uncles threw the treecarten girl's ice skates into polliwog pond! we all knew each other and played together. that didn't make it disneyland....though our kids' were convinced the perfectly manicured lawns and perfectly painted homes were right out of a disney movie!

as we drove to polliwog and stopped to see mrs. breenan...our old family friend who had 10 children running through our little world on any given day....the kids were amazed and flabbergasted that i could recall all of the neighbors, the names of their children,dogs and cats....and the song mr. mc dermott wrote for me....and the names of the mc erlean grandchildren who came to visit their grandma and came to "call" for me!  i still remember playing tag on their front lawn and catching lightning bugs after dark!

grace and t.j. were astounded by the connection and the freedom we shared. they tried to recall the names of our neighbors on the street and some surrounding neighbors.....they became hysterical!  they don't even see some of the people who live on our little street....and some have moved on so the names have  changed!  we've only lived here for 10 years!  some of my neighbors i grew up with have been there my whole life....and many still live there....if they're still alive.

there have been studies to show that people who have more of a connection in the world have longer, happier and healthier lives.  if that isn't motivation for people to make little connections in our little worlds, as they fit in the giant world we're a part of......i don't know what is!

i've learned in the last week that even kids who look a little rough around the edges might begin to change if just one or two adults acknowledge them by a smile and a hello.  babies learn that the world is a wonderful place when they are smiled at by people who walk by
their strollers and wave....just by being acknowledged!

i've been thinking about this...and have plans to get more involved...many towns have had studies done to help understand how to help the youth of the community...they've come up with a program to grow the assets of the help all members of the community to enrich all of our lives.

surveys and studies and committees will help us all to grow together....and to think, all we had to do was smile at one another and say hello!

oh's finally time to move it on out.  I'm relieved that these guys are finally here to fill the giant dumpster.  it's amazing to watch them walk by with big slabs of the walls that we just finished painting. We are o.k with letting go.  After all, we have been trying to lighten our load for quite some time now.  Seeing it go is not so bd and the idea that it has been damaged by septic combined with flood is too gross for me to even contemplate saving.
we did arrive home last night, after our see some of the colored bins that t.j's collection of legos for a lifetime....... had been pitched in the dumpster, when we specifically asked them to save them .....they had not been touched...they were in bins and just fine...only one bin was touched on the outside by flood combo..... and i saved the contents by pouring them into a clean bin!  
Exhausted, i tried to retrieve some of the bins that had not spilled into the depths of the overflowing dumpster.

t.j., exhausted and horrified, walked up to see me retrieving bits and bins....he just stood almost 14 years old....he said in a monotone voice," oh, that's just's like my whole childhood is gone.  it's like my whole childhood is dead. thanks. why did you let them do that?"

quietly, with  lump in my throat. i muttered,"i specifically told them NOT to throw out the legos.  they were fine.  they were important to keep.  they were untouched."....i wanted to cry.  for t.j.'s comment and for me.  They didn't listen

Biff saw the remains as he got out of the car and blurted out, "I TOLD THEM TO SAVE THE LEGOS>>>I TOLD THEM TOO!"  i couldn't decide who was more upset...t.j.,biff or me.

Grace was appalled when she saw me attempting to get at the bins facing up and reachable...."they better buy us new ones!  that's our life in those bins!"

They haven't arrived yet today.  I'm waiting.  Biff is going to speak to them...they were good guys...they made a honest mistake.  But it was our stuff...i had let them stay while we went to the they could work accomplish more hard cleaning today.

I was sick over it. we all were. we just went upstairs to bed. we all needed sleep. 

Today, it's no better.  i know it's just stuff.  this particular stuff...that could have been saved....was precious to us....we had all spent a family...boy and his dad....boy, girl and their dad, all of us...with friends....creating worlds...worlds that are gone. when we took all of the lego projects apart, we all talked about the memories and why we put what together....t.j. and grace even alone on the cusp of teenage drama, had found a place to be together...talking...laughing...equals....and i feel lost. it felt like our family...our lives together...sharing...daydreaming...talking...building...showing off our creations....was gone....just gone.

now i'm in mourning.  i'm exhausted from a week and a half of this.  it's not's just  basement full of the's our memories...

we all planned to save them...we still had that in us...we still can create...we always had them available...for just those kind of moments.

they're gone.  the memories matter....but i'm so sad that they're's a metaphor for our lives that we have's a new beginning.  we'll have more legos...just not the same

What a beautiful day!  I'm exhausted from that awesome concert.  So much energy has been expended in the last week over flood in basement.  It's not even a big deal!  Our lives are in tact, we're healthy, we have a home....yet, we are exhausted, worn out, run down and ready to fall down. Vacation begins tomorrow afternoon.  I don't know how we'll do it, but we will make it fun. 

Last night, on the way to see Ben Folds, I said to Biff, "After the concert,    I could keep driving south...through the night and we could be at the beach on Florida tomorrow.  I really mean it.  I m desperate for some rest!

Concussion, slowdown, flooding whammo to our home, slowdown in our home and life as we know it!  Finally, it's being cleared out and cleaned.

Calgon, take me away!  Don't women feel like this everyday!  Isn't that a part of life?  No...I won't believe it.  I'm too worn out.  No breaths in betweeen.  I have to go back to sleep this morning...exhaustion is not good.  I have to take care of my body.  We all do.  Women especially!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....zzzzzz......I'll be back in a bit.....ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz!   thanks for understanding! And this is with coffee...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on