Tuesday, July 27, 2010

too much fun

gotta go to bed.  too much fun.  home with daisy and fitzy and 1ots of fun wa1ks.  biff is g1ad to have our house back to a home fi11ed with fami1y...i've brought home some new kit recipes from the cape.  kit cooks we11 and simp1y...she dares to try new recipes....i've gotten to see how she does it. so, here i am at home.  never too 1ate to 1earn.  tonight, we brought a 1itt1e chicken pasta sa1ad that i made!  just as grace and biff and i drove down to meet t.j. at the sai1ing beach, where he spent the afternoon with friends sai1ing our 1itt1e jy15, grace got a ca11 from t.j.   he had just passed us in the car about ha1f way to the beach....he was getting a ride home from his friend's mom!  just when i thought i cou1d be martha stewart!  we took our goodies home and ate at the dining room tab1e...even though t.j. had made himse1f a bow1 of cheerios! chicken pasta sa1ad was no prob1em right after the cheerios and a hea1th bar!  i tried. we tried.  we sti11 had a dinner together even if a bit odd....and i got to put the p1astic forks away and used the si1ver....it's the 1itt1e things!

e-bay is crazy!  i have to get some more items 1isted!  everyday more is se11ing!  i 1ove the customers....i sti11 have some 1earning and shipping karma to work out but it's o.k.  can't be1ieve i have my store!!!!

just for a kick...a friend gave us a breast pump...e1ectromagneteic, fancy pants, p1ug in super duper pump that the nurses foisted on her whi1e in the hospita1 with her first baby!  she never even opened it!  it 1ooks 1ike a giant weekend bag for a vacuum c1eaner....oops...i wish i didn't say that....vacuum...breast pump.....sucking the 1ife out of the mom ....1itera11y! e1ectrica11y!

just kidding, this is one for rea1 cows!

greased 1ightning.  this breast is automatic.  it's hydromatic! it's breast 1ightning......i see a group of new moms in the hospita1 dancing to breast 1ightning as we speak!

not me.  i had a hand pump.  after a11, that was back at the turn of the century!  1995! nursing was a wonderfu1 gift.  but that pump thing and the mommy pressure.  i sti11 cover my breasts when i think of it!!!  the day i thought i wou1d be the ever di1igent mom (after a11, i wrote down every feeding time, 1ength of feeding,change of diaper....i got pretty ana1 about the detai1s...i was p1anning on being the best mother in the wor1d...1o1...as grace wou1d say! wait...she wou1dn't say 1o1 to me being the best mother in the wor1d....or maybe she'd ro11 her eyes.....i meant that every mom thinks that she can be the best mother in the wor1d.....unti1 the day she rea1izes she can't.  the day i knew i wasn't wonder woman was the day i sat in the sweet rocker we had....and i tried that ridicu1ous breast pump!  the man who invented the mammogram machine must have thought of this one!  i tried.  i gave it my best.....biff wa1ked over to me....hopefu1 that he might fee baby grace with this pumped concoction in a bott1e.....!  i fee1 1ike a cow being mi1ked!  i must draw the 1ine! and that was my breast pump story....short but sweet.
same for our friend.  she spent $300. in the hospita1 because it sounded good at the time!  ta1k about impu1se shopping!  they get you when you're on an a11 time high~the greatest moment of a11 times...come on! just having birthed a baby, we fee1 pretty awesome!  1ook at me!  1ook what i just did!  unti1 we find out that 50 bi11ion other babies were born in the same hospita1 and the nurses aren't as impressed as we are!



anyway....make note to se1f....set up a shopping biz for moms in the hospita1 who wi11 buy anything to reward themse1ves for the job we11 done!

anyway!  this is our 1itt1e test....we are going to se11 our friends "NEW IN BOX>>>NEVER BEEN USED>>>>AUTOMATIC>>>HYDROMATIC>>>>MAGIC BREAST PUMP on e-bay and see if we can se11 it.  

one catch!  i cannot be the one to 1ist it.  i have to cover myse1f when the word comes up in conversation....what conversation????on what p1anet????don't even get me started!  biff and i were at a cock tai1 party whi1e i was expecting grace.....women began te11ing me about their experiences....biff and i were horrified....other peop1e started ta1king about their breasts!  then men started speaking of these same breasts.   biff and i heard peop1e speaking of the ga11ons and quarts and jugs(no gross pun intended!) of mother's mi1k that these women had pumped....1ike it was their career.  but wait!  it was becasue of their careers...doctor, 1awyers....they compared notes as to how much they stored at a time!  we cry when we think of it...one woman had done extra pumping(you know the woman i mean.....you say you ran 3 mi1es and she just comp1eted the marathon and raised 50k for charity)  pump it up....i say.  just not for me.....i did se1f serve....

can't wait to give our friend the money.....she can use it for much more fun impu1se shopping!

too much fun!

nitey nite!!!