Saturday, January 23, 2010
what a great day. thankful that we got to make a quick trip to ski for the day today....it's so much fun to be out in the glorious sunshine and nice cold but comfortable weather. we got up and out early.....and off we went. not far. not big. not glamorous. but, great!
grace had a friend with her today...kind of a pre-birthday treat. t.j. worked on his snowboarding, biff and i enjoyed some lift time together. we all shared some time together on the lift lines, lifts and the slopes. we had a great day. it was a joy to have so much fun jam packed in one day. this is the kind of day that i call a "vacation in a bottle". these days just pop up in our lives and i treasure them.
first, it's great to have a day where there are no big plans and we can all be in one place. second, it's very nice to be able to make a day trip to some pretty awesome places. third, it is a blast to have the time with our kids and just having plain old fashioned fun and enthusiasm. please remember, we have teenagers.
i know it is a joy to be with them everyday.....please recognize how very grateful i am! very true. it's just that this teen thing has been a huge adjustment. i know, i should be used to it by now. it's been creeping up on me slowly....first, they didn't want me to be anywhere in the same zip code when they were getting off the bus.....i got away with being outside, down the street, walking the dogs. second, they started to stop waving to me when they saw me in their school, they would see me and kind of wave me away. third, they stopped telling me long, involved stories about their school day while they sat with me at the kitchen table, having a snack or doing homework.....now, they get home, mumble some unclear words about the lack of food in our refrigerator and look to the computer for facebook chatter.
yes, they do talk to me and i have very nice relationships with both kids, it's just changing. o.k., i'm not the first mom to have teens. it's not a big deal. oh yes it is! to me. and it's not a big deal. life changes and we have to roll with it. change is good. change keeps us fresh. change allows the new to come into our lives. change allows us to let go of the unnecessary, making room for more new.
yes i know this. i do. i just make the adjustment slowly....and finally, let go and let it happen. as if i could stop it . really, it's kind of cool having people to talk to that understand more and more every day. on the other hand, it's kind of tough to be with kids who think that they know more than me. in general. or specifically anything technologically....phone, computer, cell phone, cameras and more.
they can't help themselves. they have to separate. it's all a part of growing up. they're starting to notice our flaws. we are chock full of them and thankfully, we are pretty aware of them. maybe we just don't need to be
you see, when i was born, i was "baby girl littlemarymixup"...o.k., that endearing nickname didn't come til much later, with love and laughter. anyway, next to "babygirl littlemarymixup" in the hospital nursery, there was a baby boy. his last name made him worthy of a nickname that is now a part of our family lore. his name was not exactly this, but it got distilled and turned into "jerko". hence, the name, "boy jerko". yes, i was the lucky little lady to have my little nursery date be "boy jerko". and that was the name that anyone, who made a mistake big or small...."oh, what a boy jerko"..."you boy jerko"...."i'm such a boy jerko"...."what are you, boy jerko?"i never got the full pronunciation of his name. thank goodness. i might have been tempted to look him up on facebook....NOT.
thankfully, biff and i are not from the "you'll poke an eye out" generation. we're the generation that celebrates who they are, even if they're wearing bathing suits in the snow...yes, grace and t.j. apparently, our kids will be. they are not parentally correct. they point out everything from poppyseeds in our teeth to the volume of our sneezes. it's lovely.
everyday, when the wheels on the bus go round and round, i see the kids go off to school. i charge up my batteries and take care of life...my life, the lives of biff and i, and the lives of our family. i build myself up...i may do volunteer work, work on our house, do some of my own work, work in our home.....and i'm proud.
i'm puffed up to just be me...kind of proud of what i can accomplish for the good of the world....or maybe the good of our plumbing (that's water...for the world...we turn off the flow when we brush!) or for the good of our golden retrievers or just for the good of world laundry. i'm just doing me and us.
and a teen or two walks in the door. they start out with their mumble...sometimes a mumble with enthusiasm...like a nod of a head or a simple smile as they pass by. and that's that. i'm just there. meandering through the house. just there. being me. cleaning. not so much cooking. doing. painting. reminding. asking. doing. giving. reminding again. listening when someone needs to be heard. not listening, when someone does not want to be heard. cooking sometimes....what is liked by all and sometimes not so much. reminding again...some little things need more prodding than others. like, homework....emptying the dishwasher, transporting the laundry from one room to another, sometimes involving stair climbing.
imagine. when these teens were little people....following me around the house....looking for me...talking to me non-stop....wanting and wanting and wanting.....something and some other thing and that thing.....they loved being in the middle of anything that i was working on. i tried to put dishes in the sink....they tried to climb in the dishwasher. i tried to sort laundry...they jumped in laundry piles and turned it into hide and seek games.
i used to dream of just being in the bathroom alone. now the golden retrievers or the cats bump the door to join me. i'm kind of flattered. i mean, they do want to be with me. and they are always enthusiastic and happy to see me.
life is changing everyday. so are we. i like it....it just takes a little getting used to. if today was an example of kids growing up and the way we all fit together these days, change is good.