my trickle down theory

"mirror, mirror, on the wall, i am my mother after all!".....that's what my needlepoint pillow says! and if it's on the pillow, it must be true. thankfully, i loved my mom very much...although she died almost 2 years ago, she is with me everyday and i'm sure she's laughing at me.....especially if she is overseeing any of the random moments of me and motherhood. it seems like yesterday that my mom was laughing when i told her that grace, at 3 years old, insisted on wearing her floral printed heavy cotton tights to the beach on cape cod....i remember telling my mom about my headstrong children....as any daughter knows, her mother will just smile knowingly because history is repeating itself. i remember how sweet she thought my little grace was....she shared none of my frustration....just joy because her adorable little grandchild was behaving in a manner very familiar to my mom...she had lived all of this with me.

a million years ago, when i was four years old, i was in a fashion show at a saks fifth avenue women's luncheon....i can still remember my mother's frustration, when i would not, could not, wear the newfangled polyester/cotton socks.....o.k., a prepster from the get go, it was almost impossible for me to put my little four year old feet into anything but 100% cotton!.....until my mother gritted her teeth....then i knew that woman meant business....after putting up quite a stubborn battle, i wore the icky feeling socks and i had to be happy wearing them, "or else". i don't really use the "or else"....maybe i should grit my teeth and try it....i think my kids would laugh and smell my fear..."OR ELSE!"....maybe i'll give it a go, anyway...it's just that it seems so much like a threat....

today, i give everyone their list of "to do's" and expect them to be done in a timely manner...apparently, mom timing and teen timing are just a tad different. also, as soon as our kids turned teen on us, they seem to use "sure, in a minute" to tide us, the parents, over. sometimes, if we are distracted by life and one of the many things going on in a household, "in a minute" may turn into hours....the a.d.d. parents and follow through is a big issue.....mostly, because it backfires on our parenting code....we try to be consistent....we are consistent with most big stuff....homework, bedtimes, morning schedules....but sometimes we fall short on the little chores of life...like empty the dishwasher, take out the garbage....little chores but big when they back up.

and that's where our kids get my version of "or else!"....it goes like this....."daisy stop barking at fitzy...fitzy! get out of the garbage....now the garbage is all over the floor ...we have to make sure that there is no food out to set fitzy up for failure! (apparently, since we adopted her, she is way beyond curing of this piggy food behavior)......when fitzy gets into the garbage, daisy barks at her, either because she wants fitzy to share or because she's warning us, like lassie, that there's trouble......when daisy barks, grace shreiks,"fitz..y!"....then t.j. yells at his sister to calm down....she screams at her brother...i intervene while stopping fitzy...when i stop fitzgerald, daisy stops barking!....then, i call the kids to pick up the garbage and carry it out to the garbage pails in the garage....and put a new hefty in the pail.

after the garbage scenario is complete, that's when i begin my "trickle down theory" rant....i think, by now, they cringe!....you'd think that they would be so sick of that routine that they would get the whole process down in a robotic fashion, just to keep me and my "trickle down theory" quiet.

and don't even get me started on the dishwasher "trickle down" ......not emptied? then, the sink is full...i like having a clean sink....blah, blah, blah.

i should have known that my day had come....minutes after our first baby was born, i begged the nurse for a ginger ale.....my mom had a glass of ginger ale every night. that was just the beginning...

i know i'm not perfect...i come from a long line of imperfect people.....lotsa love, just not perfect.....i guess, i'd much rather have the love!