Friday, February 5, 2010


since the birthday girl turned 15, all she has talked about was having a sleepover with a few might have been 12 but we widdled it down to 4..make that 3....since one was cut off from sleepovers for the last month. long story. aren't they all. sometimes when someone else is grounded, all of the parents seem to breathe a sigh of relief. somehow, in the world of teenage daughters, when one friend is grounded or on vacation, everyone slows down. it seems that, temporarily, the volume has been turned down.

it's something that i've only discussed with moms of girls. the moms with boys live in a parallel universe.
they know nothing of life with girls.....nothing except the bazaar behavior of their own life was as a teenager...chock full of stories....good, bad and ugly!

we've heard the usual stories of sulking teens, we've heard of the teens at sleepovers, we've heard the stories of untruths and stories half told. we know. we remember. that life seems like yesterday and a very long time ago...all in the same breath.

i never want to presume that i know everything my kids are doing. we meet lots of parents...along this bumpy parenting road....that seem to think that their kids are above making a mistake. call me crazy, but i feel like all i can do teach, live as an example, watch, talk to other parents, share information, pray and be here for them. and that's about that. did i say pray?

and that's with really good kids that i'm proud of. really sweet, kind, loving, compassionate, caring, sharing kids.....but..they are still teenagers! that's the hard part...for them and for us! we all know the pain of learning about life, trying to pull away while trying to push limits....trying to act the appropriate age while feeling like having a tantrum. everything is topsy turvy...inside their bodies and outside! it's one of the greatest time of life....and one of the most intense, learning life lessons....and how to deal with parents, friends, teachers and peers. every bit of life is changing.

was i describing parenthood? actually, as parents we are going through some of the same lessons. we are trying to hold our standards high to help them to be the best that they can be. that's just as people! the other challenge is to help them be the best student that they can be.

it is a daunting task! everyday, i hope that my best is good enough. i try to trust that if we're doing our best, at least they have hope of doing the right thing and staying on course! but even in the best wind, a sailboat with a great sailor has so much to consider....the boat, the crew, the depth, the weather, the sky, the tide.....and that's our life everyday...and that's the same for our kids.

they're just doing the best that they can do...and it's a struggle to do all of that and do it with the intensity of hormones and emotions and bodies changing and schoolwork and friends changing....and the whole world is changing.....yikes.

so tonight is the sleepover. we only have three girls sleeping upstairs. all of their parents have checked in...they are all nice girls.

our house is safe and peaceful and filled with laughter and a sleeping brother and a quickly fading dad.....and mom. we're all having a very nice night. they have been to the movies, had pizza and birthday cake....

and now, they are upstairs...making phony phone calls! hysterical, innocent and fun!

they all have their cell phones. they all text. they all talk and have good fun. they'll watch a movie on a computer screen. they may use the computer.

and still i worry....because the world comes into our world with all of the techo living. i can't protect them from everything. oh, i want to. we survived. our parents survived. i just pray that they will survive!

oh, earlier tonight, i gave each of the girls bags of candy to take to the daughter was thrilled. after "thanks mom"...she said, "o.k. mom! stop being so mother-ish! pleeeeez!"

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