Monday, March 15, 2010

for everyone!

no one will believe me!  i'm embarrassed and ashamed!  my "new" camera has just *POOF* ended it! it's blank on the's over...i had no warning signs! i've been stood up again!  i was outside with the dogs walking around the front of the house...i was enjoying the day, rainy or not. was it was over nothing! just like that! some close up pictures and that's when it crashes, no bonks, no bleeps...and *POOF*!  it was over and i was dumbfounded...i didn't even all of those other ones before. another one bites the dust...

apparently, the new cameras of  today are disposable.  this one has lasted since christmas week when we were skiing....that went kerplunk after a few months.  i know i'm hard on cameras....i know i take them to the beach, the woods, the city....and they live in my pocket as i wander through life...but, this is ridiculous!

my "real" camera that i enjoyed for most of our married life came from an old boyfriend!  my family and friends have always been thankful that i received this major camera and some equipment instead of an engagement ring.  me too! 

thankfully, it was the camera that traveled with me to europe, to nantucket, the cape, with biff and i on all of our adventures, weddings, new babies, our wedding, our new babies, christenings and christmas mornings!
i have been forever grateful....that i dodged a they say!

biff always loved that old boyfriend, even though they never met.  it would have been worlds colliding.  biff might have doubted my sanity!  like my mom did!  of course, that's what friends and family said after the fact.  phew!  so glad they kept that to themselves in case i had further lapse of sanity and stayed with that guy out of stubbornness!

since st. patrick's day is in a couple of days, i've been noticing some of the more stubborn qualities of our cute little leprechauns!  i know where they get it from.  o.k, maybe that's a bit harsh...biff has some of his german stubbornness that we see in our kids.

i digress...another irish blarney habit...or plain old fashioned a.d.d. at work, who knows.  it's hereditary, i know that.

back to my major camera that may have been the christmas gift that changed my life.  thanks to that camera and some huge character flaws in a boyfriend, i  became aware that this was not a good choice of men.  that awareness, no matter how overdue it was, opened my life to so many more wonderful opportunities....and i met biff!

biff enjoyed the camera as well!  he also enjoyed the diamond earrings from the other guy...and some other material gifts that were lovely to look at yet, meant nothing to me. since many of the gifts were not so meaningful to me, i was able to sell them!  and what fun that was!  i kept the diamonds as suggested by my mom.  she said, "those are your booby prize." 

and the camera was the door prize! it was better to me than the old boyfriend.  steady, loyal and true. that camera was with me through the good times and bad! unlike the guy!

and now, i sit with no camera. zip! zero! nada!  the digital cameras that i have had since the major door prize have been like one night stands, which thankfully, i never made a habit of those!  the last few cameras have been quick to blow me off,  unfaithful and selfish....never thinking of me and my feelings! treating me like a doormat after filling my heart with joy and some fun times, these cameras just leave me feeling abandoned. dumped!

oh, sure you say...all of the warning signs were there...the battery troubles, the disc was undependable and the zoom! i'm embarrassed to say that the zoom was slow....very slow.  i like a zoom you can count on!  i like a zoom that can move spontaneously!  the disc was always the wrong left me very frustrated and sometimes in tears.  the batteries were filled with excuses....not charged, not fully charged and rechargeable....sure, rechargeable!  then it was the lithium...the lithium caused it's own troubles.

now, i'm looking for a camera that's more like biff.  a great camera, full of energy, strong...physically and emotionally, loving and considerate, spontaneous....he's there for good times and in bad...just like we proclaim in our wedding vows! biff treats me with respect and deserves respect, thoughtful, giving, makes me laugh, has a great sense of humor,he's easygoing and enjoys a good time!  and he seems to love me, despite my pecadillos!

now, how can i find a new camera.  not online...i'm skeptical of finding a camera on line. i need to see it in person, see how it acts with me and reacts to me, how it moves with me and travels with me.... me....not an online me. 

i'm running out of time.  i don't want to sound desperate, but my clock is ticking.  i need to find one soon or i'll go crazy! all of my friends have great cameras.  they haven't gone through this....with bad choices, one after another.

i realize that i can't force something to be...especially, if it's not the right one for me. i have to pay attention to the signs. i have to be true to myself.  i have to be honest and open if i find one that suits me....although i'm a little bit scared.  i just have a hard time trusting these days.

i guess i'll know when i know.  it will just have to be a good fit.  next time, it will be fun, easy and comfortable to be with, it will have all of the qualities that i love so much. i'll write a list of the qualities that matter.   i hope i've learned from experience. i guess i'll know when i know.  oh, and before i forget, if you think of one i might like, let me know! 

sometimes we have to wait and trust that the right one will come.  it never works out when we're on the rebound!  it's a quick fix. it ends poorly...for everyone!

kodak?  done that.
fuji? done that.
canon? done that.
nikon? not yet.
sony?  not yet.

this is worse than trying to pick out shampoo!
so many choices....and they're all the same...broken!

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