Friday, April 9, 2010

i am praying for some kind of peace.  this has been one crazy thing after another.  i've been staying very calm, cool and collected but i think i might snap soon!!  calgon, take me away!!!

i cried today...too much stuff in the dumpster....stuff! plans for vacation in the dumpster...never really got to make plans with the economy scaring us!  i was feeling a delayed reaction today after visiting home and all of the memories of family and mom! i realized it's almost 2 years since mom died!! everywhere i went today, i saw daisies!!  was that a sign from mom?  was she telling me that everything would be o.k.?
i walked at the beach with jane and her dog.  jane and her family are leaving for vacation...florida and lots of exciting family plans.
we need that together time as  family.  the beach is our greatest joy. we keep planning to make it happen....and then the reality of recession scares us into reality and pragmatic thinking! i hate when that happens.but, i'm tired and sad! so, of course it seems like that would save us from everything hitting the fan lately!  i've had a sense of humor until today!  i think it was the legos that did me in....just loss.  loss gets me everytime...whether mom or legos or plans...loss is huge!  not to say that legos and mom are equal....but the life that the legos represent is loss in a kind of funny way..
it will all be funny again....especially when we have  liveable house again!

thanks to mb for the "spring break box"!  that was some fun!  yes, it was a great idea to send us florida in a box....the thought was awesome....everyone loved all of the surprises in the box!  i think it's fun that we have christmas later in the all got valentines day christmas and we got spring break!
biff loved the tacky alligator t-shirt!
and the cheezy beach book! robert balducci? or is that the dean and deluca of fun.
t.j. loved his gators hat and gators t-shirt!
grace loved her lilly pulitzer shirt and she has claimed my life is good shirt! she's wearing it to lacrosse tomorrow! 
we loved the lights for the deck!
we loved the ceramic whale for dip!
we all loved the new frisbee!
we all loved the tacky florida beach bag...that's crrying grace's lacrosse stuff to practice!
the beach ball is awesome!  grace almost blacked out blowing it up!
we loved the flip flops!
the fluffy new towels for t.j. and grace are awesome!
my lilly pulitzer hot pink shirt is a fave!  you got my color!
the coppertone smells like we're at the beach!
the shells were voted best of everything!

what fun for all of us!
the whole big box of florida...just wonderful!
spring break in a box! 
it was all great wasn't!! we all had so much fun opening the gifties!
we laughed and thought of you guys...our good ol' friends in florida! 
kid cousins!  college cousins! 
we were loving it...biff and i were laughing about his tacky t-shirt! usual with kids.....everything changed in was like a delay....we were all feelin' the love...we were all lovin' life and the box and the fun and then................
it changed.......and just like your teenage daughter thought...."what if it makes them feel bad that they're not gonna be in florida for vacation?  what if it makes them feel bad instead of good?"
as only another teenager could imagine or empathize for another.....
that's just what happened!  everyone was smiling and it was the coppertone and the shells that did it!
i said to grace,"aren't those shells gorgeous...wait til you see when we go to sanibel someday!"  well, i guess that must have rubbed in that last straw that counted our chickens and put our eggs on the bridge before we crossed it and stepped on a crack and crossed our fingers and that was that!  
our beach in a box ended! just like that!  i think it was the plain old fashioned beachy coppertone smell that grace squeezed out or the fabulous sarasota seashells! perhaps it was my enthusiasm for sanibel and florida and sun in the fun... oops! i mean, fun in the sun!
where we won't be over vacation! 

anyone reading this must think that we sound like monster ungrateful beasts!  we are all very grateful everyday!  we've just been through a few challenging years....we keep thinking...o.k. this year we'll get a little getaway time during spring break....then we look at life and realize we prefer to live without being in debt. 
we are so blessed with sailing summers away with great friends and winter ski getaways with cozy friends!
we know we're blessed and our troubles have been sad but few....
we are grateful for the people in our lives!  we re grateful for the friends and family who re their to support us!  we are grateful to the friends and family who are not with us here on earth but live with us by our side memories and messages they send as reminders...we miss them everyday!  we are grateful for the lives we share that are full and passionate and filled with appreciation....even through the septic/flood combo platter!  

we are thankful and grateful....and tired and in need of some spirit lifting...we just need a little change...change or maybe just a day away from the"stinkin" dumpster !

it's all o.k.  we love our kids! we love the life we share together!  we love the laughs we share...although this week we're not laughing as much!  we're tired and all of us are in need of showers!  hot showers! a clean house. we're grateful that biff loves his work!  
all of this is to remind me that "life is good!"  i even have my e-bay biz!  yet, this week has been a challenge to get any work done.... so i do thank you for letting me ramble....i know you must be judging me...surely!  i'm judging myself....i sound so ungrateful...and i'm not...but, wow!
i am very tired.  very tired.  right now, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. i have to do what i say...when my friends have challenges, i'm the first to say,"you can do it!  trust in God!" i know this is true. God takes care of us....we have our work to do at our end!  we have lots of great people in our lives that help us get through these exhausting moments, days, weeks!  big deal...we will laugh at these itty bitty challenges

 .....we will be o.k. septic is nothing compared to health....flooding is nothing compared to and faith make a big difference in our do the special people in our lives! thank you for letting me ramble and ramble and ramble!  
oh! you say "you ramble all of the time! what's so different this time?"  this littlemarymixup has been more random than can just pass this one by...i have to do this every once in a while...i need to be grateful and thankful out loud!  really loud!  when i'm not grateful, life is never as great!  i need that spirit. i live better when i'm grateful!  at the end of the day, i go to sleep with the guy i love...we always find something to laugh about!  usually, it's us. we need that...that keeps us honest!  we tell each other when we're frustrated, mad, sad, thrilled, crazy, hysterical, deep in septic %&*@!  and the boots don't do it all!  the boots in the ##@%$$^#&*^@$#$!
there is always a lot of @#^*$^@$#%!$##%&*$ in life!

this is life!  and that's o.k. grateful grateful grateful thankful giving giving thanks for everything changes everything!! now that i've listened to myself, i think i feel better!  thanks for listening.....and thanks m.b. for all of the drama we got with the spring break in a box!!  you know we love it!  and how hard this will make us all laugh...actually you and i already laughed about it!  no matter what, our friends always understand the kooky life we live!
did i mention that fitzy ate a bag of chocolate hershey easter eggs today?  oh and a pack of jacobs cream crackers?....and half a bag of jelly beans? and my starbucks coffee!  just what she needs! coffee!!  i'll leave you on the grateful note...i'm grateful that you're  follower of littlemarymixup...i'm grateful if you just read may have given up by now! nitey nite! thank you my friends! thank you!
                  steppin in &%**(&*^%$$#!

for anyone who really knows me and my love of color!  please scroll up and see the greatest color ever on the walls in the basement!  it was the perfect sea glass color!  and now those walls are in the dumpster!! can you believe it?  even the insulation has already gotten moldy...mold!  imagine!  thank goodness it's all going out!  thanks again!

m.b. and family thank you for knowing that we love florida in a box! if we couldn't share the ridiculous with our friends, who could we share our kid crazies with!  we know we love them...they make us laugh...and they are so honest!they are telling the truth! we wish we were there!  opposite of a postcard from sunny florida!
wish we were there!kathyo! you too! we wish we were there!
i'm going to dream about "a day at the beach" reunion with our good old friends and kids!

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