Thursday, June 10, 2010

i woke up with a start today!  yikes!  it was after alarm time.  alarm?  what alarm?  i didn't hear an alarm, did i?  i know i set my alarm.  it was very late when i finally got to bed.  very, very late actually.

i was at another village meeting to hear more people talk about the horrors of the internet, cell phones, cyber bullying and internet predators.  while listening to the speakers, i whispered to a nearby friend, "great. i'm at a cyber world safety meeting and the kids are home alone. i'm pretty sure that they're both on the internet! grace working on a paper, probably on facebook.  t.j. has a class trip tomorrow so he's probably on x-box....the predators are probably knocking on the door or sexting them while i sit taking notes!"  

biff has been in the city for a few days.  great night for me to be out at a meeting....with parents. and community leaders...feeling out of control with the whole world bursting into our homes.  i sat at the meeting...thinking about all of the years we worked so diligently to keep our kids on P.B.S. and without warning...*POOF* the world came into ours.

not quite the same as going out to a yoga class...or a poetry reading.  this was fear 101!  arriving home late to see grace finishing her paper while t.j. had taken himself to bed....for a good night sleep before his class outing in the morning.  we've come a long way from P.B.S., dinner, bath, book, bed  days. 

i was brain was stretched to the max.  i trust our kids....i don't trust the world.  the world has always had scary out there.  it's just a new scary.  all we can do is be educated and keep our kids educated and aware.

so, back to the alarm.  bedtime was over the top late.  what was i doing to relax?  following up on e-mails, catching up on some letter writing.  ironically, letters of congratulation and the same family.  another light and breezy thing to do at night while my husband is away and my kids have an early wake up!
biff and i have the ultimate codependent relationship...when it comes to morning alarms.  there was never a problem waking for our children in the early days.  we were smart enough...or exhausted enough to get the sleep we required. 

it became more of a challenge once our kids stayed up later.  just a little quiet after they went up to bed...just a little....i craved that quiet....for an art project or to read a book.... uninterrupted.  a luxury.

until it continued into the wee hours.  just one more minute....turned into way too late.  that was at the point where the alarm mattered.  no longer were the pitter patter of little feet our alarms.

so, for quite a few years now, biff has called me with a"wake up call from the front desk." as a back up to my alarm.....internal alarm and timex ironman alarm and cell phone alarm!
this morning, it was my internal alarm.  even after less than optimum sleep....i popped up, looked over at my cell phone with 247,000 applications available, 4 morning alarms set with the special ring and the vibration.
looking at the time on my cell phone...i had a moment of panic.  ten of seven!  yikes.  that's usually time for the bus.

i looked at my alarms...why?  why had they failed me?  uh. oh.  oh. no.  i turned off the volume while i was at the meeting.  biff called during the meeting...i texted him to tell him why i had just hung up on him and proceeded to turn down the volume.

alarm.  not. not at all. ahhhh.  there had been texts....from biff.  the only one i saw all caps.....which grace tells me is shouting in TEXT, that is.  his message, "THINK I'M GOING INSANE!"....follwed by the next text..."NOW WE R FULLY ENMESHED WITH OUR NEIGHBORS.....MOLLY IS COMING OVER TO RING THE DOORBELL.  T.J. CAN'T MISS TRIP!" 

that's the point that i called him.  his voice was weary.  he was confused.  no. not the usual wake up confusion when he's out of town, the "where am i" confusion.  it was the why isn't my sweet loving wife answering the phone/where the hey is my family confusion/how could i possibly lose them all when they all have cell phones, i touches and a few computers in that house confusion....i'm used to that. that comes up during business trips.

thankfully, i didn't have to panic the kids.  i would remain calm....that's what mothers are supposed to do.  right?  grace under pressure and all of that stuff!  i hated those that panic voice of my mom's when i was young.  wait!  who am i kidding.  i hate that NOW!  i called them.  i went to each room. i let them ease into the panic....thankfully, we never got to that point.  i told them i would be driving them.

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