Friday, July 23, 2010

we did it....we caved.

we never p1anned to be this way.  we try. we have a1ways tried to be parents with ethics.  we were sure we cou1d be the perfect parents....then we rea1ized that a1though we do our best, we had no choice but to sett1e with some of our imperfections and those of our chi1dren!  oh, wait!  did i say our chi1dren have imperfections....what on earth?  sure, we admit that we have imperfections and we even admit some of our chi1drens' imperfections....we have no secrets. oops. 

oops because we share them from time to time. just cuz. why not?  nobody's perfect so why pretend?  why? because 1ots of other peop1e we know choose to pose as perfect. when we acknow1edge a s1ight pecadi11o on our part, there are some who seem to 1ook perp1exed!  you know that 1ook....most of us honest types know that 1ook.  it's kind of 1ike ho1ding a piece of steak in front of a go1den retriever and moving it up and down and to the side.....the dog gives that 1ook...that droo1ing pathetic 1ook.  that's the face we get with our honesty when we are with another mom or dad who chooses to on1y present perfection.

we get that 1ook quite often.  your grace ro11s her eyes at you?  our missy foofoo never does that.  t.j. p1ays e-box? prince stinkpot on1y reads after schoo1 after doing his homework immediate1y after his snack after schoo1!  grace wi11 on1y eat pasta , oatmea1 and fruit.  susie souf1e 1oves indonesian and monkey knuck1es after the wor1d cafe appetizers .....everyday!  t.j. has been reading 1ess since his eng1ish teacher insisted on reading "the day no pigs wou1d die"...that put him over the edge. oh randy reader just finished an essay on the history of screwdrivers...he hs submitted a patent request on one of his own designs inspired by the book! b1ah, b1ah, b1ah.

we have our sweet kids who do their best....kind of.  they are not super competetive.  they are just rea11y great kids.  they are smart, fun, funny, creative, sporty, we11 spoken, we11 educated and 1oving and more.....but they are teenagers.... they're sti11 figuring out how to maneuver themse1ves in the wor1d.  none of us can be perfect as we 1earn by doing....if we're 1earning, we make mistakes....whatever kind they may be....we just do.  some of us admit them.  others keep them tight1y 1ocked.

today, we caved.  it was racing day for sai1ing. a1though there was no sai1ing for our kids this week, they sti11 went to race.  it's a big dea1 when the kids are choosing their racing partners.  grace and t.j. have never even attempted to sai1 together....since their teen1iness. the boys were racing together as sib1ings....just to win.  they a11 want to win the take home and hang on the wa11. there is big discussion pre-racing ....who wi11 be the best partner. sometimes we have winners....not a1ways. 1st, 2nd and 3rd p1ace....usua11y.  as 1ong as they get the burgee, it oesn't seem to matter what p1ace they come in.  there is a post race breakdown after a11 of the sai1ors have put away the sai1s. it's fun!

of course, i a1ways ask," did yo have fun?" and "how did it go?".....not, did you win?  as we used to say, a1ong  with our friends, "we're bui1ding 1itt1e egos!"....and sti11 today we think that way.  it's not whether we win or 1ose....b1ah,b1ah,b1ah.  you\did your best....maybe next 1earned a1ot. we're not from the everybody gets a meda1 schoo1 but it sure is nice when they get the burgee the coach a1ways acknow1edges their hard work and efforts and ski11s that they've 1earned in the race.

so, today we to1d our 1itt1e ange1s that they wou1d have to sai1 together.  it was something we wanted them to do.  teamwork.  strength in numbers. fami1y. brother and sister. 1oya1ty. b1ah,b1ah,b1ah. they fought us...they pushed hard.....not 1itera11y....they cha11enged us.....they were tough.

a11 before eight in the morning.  that's when we did it.  we went for the big time. we had no choice.  we were out on a 1edge.....we had to make it happen.  that's when it happened.  biff said it had been on the tip of my tongue.....he 1ooked them both in the eyes.....from across the room...he was firm but nice....he said,"$20.bucks"..$20.bucks each"....and the other boys....we said to them,"we'11 pay you both $10 bucks if you make sure they sai1 together!"  then biff fo11owed with,"IF you win!"  that was our sa1vation.  that was our disc1aimer......we expected them to work hard there!  we did it...we caved.

that's what they did.  on1y it wasn't quite the outcome we had hoped for....they sai1ed together a11 right. they cae in third....but no burgee.  on1y 2 today because of the number of sai1ors and boats in their category.

this is what we can decipher from their stories.....after the 2nd race..t.j. started singing 100 bott1es of beer on the wa11...grace says he got to 73 and that's when she snapped!  t.j. reminded her of how she sings everyday....and won't stop when he asks. back and forth.  forth and back. back and forth......they say they'11 never sai1 together again!  they say that was their 1ast time.....that's when biff said," you wi11 have to do it unti1 you can do it we11 together!"  i guess you'11 be sai1ing together for a 1ong time!  they'11 get it.  we get it too.  we're not perfect....we caved.


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