Monday, March 29, 2010

when it rains, it pours.

when it rains, it pours!  and i mean that quite literally.  it is really raining and it is really pouring. it's pouring buckets of water..... quite the metaphor for our lives right now!! this is our time of year that we try to live lean, as they say.

who is "they" anyway....all i know is when i use any example for my kids about motivation or visualization and explain that "they say that...." basketball players have to visualize getting the ball through the hoop....and that we have to visualize what we want, our kids always respond with, "who are they...there is no they....they did a study.....people just make that stuff up....it must be parents that make that stuff up!" i work a bit on my explanation and just shake my head...someday, they'll understand what i've been talking about....someday.

when one of the kids has an head ache or some other bother in their body, i'll say,"just breathe.  breathe into where the pain is and feel it fade away."  o.k., it is a bit sensitive new age...but it helps. after that, t.j. will let me know,"mom, that's like you with cream...you have a cream for everything!!  itching cream, sunburn cream, heating the ache cream.....you give us cream for everything!

sometimes that's all i have....it's just one of those things....when the kids were younger, the creams could do anything....anything....like a super power.
i do have some creams that do help....like aloe for sunburn and heat cream for muscle aches....but, they've lost their powers.  so have i!

so, back to "they".....and they do say that when it rains, it pours!  today, it's more real than you know.  it's that time of year.  we try to live simply in these early spring months.  we have plenty of plenty in our lives, but at this time of year we feel best to stay tight. 

we had hoped to plan a little family vacation...just us...just family.  we need this time. we desperately need time together.  just us. alone. biff and i, grace and t.j. and time to have some fun together.  we need fun.  it's true.  so much of the school year, we have to be on everyone.  it's just life.  with teens, it seems like it's more so.  at this time of year, in between seasons....we all feel in between.....life!

for the last few years, we have planned....really semi planned....kinda...maybe....sorta planned to get some time away as a family.  to a warm, sunny beach. nothing super crazy.....just to be somewhere that we all love and where we all can have fun together! fun in the sun...they say.

it seems that even when we think it can happen, it's not quite....not quite in the cards, as they say! they.

this year has been the same.  we have some miles to use for planes and hotel.  we have all kinds of options.  it just doesn't seem like the right time.  business wise and money wise and getting that sinking feeling wise.

i try to live by that feeling...good, bad or in between.  this felt good, good, good, not quite sure, it's good for all of us and it's worth it, yes, good, good, business needs attention too, not good, not good, good for us, good for the family, good........and just not good, not gonna happen, not such a good idea, no!

no. it was that sinking feeling that did it.  sometimes biff is the one with the sinking feeling or caution.  sometimes, believe it or not, it's me. we went back and forth and back and forth....we finally came to the conclusion that we had that stinkin' sinkin' feelin'.  i hate when that happens!

so, now that we've disappointed ourselves and our children....we're making alternate plans...again!  last year, at the last minute....we were blessed with an invitation to southampton with our friends.  we were saved.  it wasn't sunny florida, but it was sunny, chilly and the best beaches in the world, bike rides, family, friends, great dinners and fun for all.  it was great....and we all had a wonderful vacation!

a few years ago, we had a similar situation....also with heavy rain that spring, we stayed home over spring break....and we had to rip the wall to wall carpeting out of our soaking wet basement!  slowly and steadily.....throughout the whole vacation, we  ripped out the whole basement carpet....that had been installed just the year before.  with tears in my eyes and dripping water from bits and pieces of that huge rug, biff and i trudged up the bilco stairs and....dragged the waterlogged carpet out to a dumpster.

talk about a metaphor for life...at that moment in time, the rug was pouring water, my eyes were pouring water and life felt like we were in the dumps.  it was not fun in the sun, but we did survive and we did have fun....somehow.  we know how to make the best of things.

we have never been able to get that basement back in order until.........finally, this year we got it back...almost.

and the rain came. and the rain came. and the rain came!  we pulled up everything we had down there....again.  we let it all dry.  dry in the sun. dry with the doors open. dry.

then, began the putting back together. little by little. we do have lots to get done though.  just as we prepared to get it back in order.........

more rain.  lots more rain! more and more and more.
as the say, when it rains it pours.  only this time, we had finally given into the reality that it may not be the best time for a trip.....when it rains it pours!  nope. that's not it.

we had some moments when it rained and it poured.... we told the kids that plans they were a changin'. it was not easy. not for any of us. yesterday, all i said was, "as
long as we're not toting a million pound drenched rug out to the dumpster, it will be a nice vacation...we'll think of something fun to do!

this afternoon, i dashed out with the dogs....in the pouring rain....to take the dogs to the farm to let them run and expend some energy....oh, they did!  fitzy ran off to unknown places....biff was passing by...he called to fitzy too. thankfully, she came back.  she burst through the car window!  proud of returning on her terms! 

i needed the walk too...to expend my energy or lack thereof.  thinking about what to do over vacation to have a little time....somewhere else.   i was soaked through.  my hair was dripping.  my face was wet. i was cold. the car smelled like wet dogs. i was beginning to smell like wet dogs.

that's when i got home.  just after biff.  he was already inside.  grace greeted me at the door.  our backyard is so saturated that our odors form the septic tank are seeping into the basement!!  well, it's true. now, the sh.. really did hit the fan!  when it rains it pours!

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