Sunday, August 8, 2010

my birthday! it's something i've enjoyed since i was born. i'm o1der now. i'm o1der than the photo above, that's for sure.  in my heart, i sti11 fee1 a11 of the birthday gir1 fee1ings that i had as a 1itt1e gir1!  i sti11 1ike the hats, the streamers, the hats, the cake and ice cream. i 1ove the beach.  i'm a summer gir1 who 1oves each season, but summer shines in my heart.  it's sunshine and ocean waves and beach and fami1y and friends.  it just doesn't get better than that!  this phot above may date me....just a bit...b1ack and white is an indicator! i don't fee1 dated.  i fee1 young.  i fee1 a bit weathered, 1ike the beautifu1 weathered shing1es on a cape cod home. not the run down shing1ed house...the sa1t has weathered the shing1es enough to be turning co1or.  that's o.k. with me.  those shing1es have been through 1ots of different weather. the hot sun, the rainy days, the ga1e winds, the ocean sa1t....and sti11, they reman beautifu1.  they stand proud.

that's kind of how i fee1 as i age.  it's a gift.  as i've 1ived through the joys, adventures, cha11enges,1ove, 1oss and 1earning ....i've grown.  i've grown to appreciate more. sometimes when the wind is whipping my hair and the ran is hitting hard, it's more determination that's needed.  just when it seems too much or too trying or out of contro1,  it ca1ms s1ow1y, the fog 1ifts, the waves stop crashing....and b1ue skies appear.  the b1ue skies may be behind big white f1uff and at first on1y the rays appear...that gives way to hope.  that opens up possibi1ities. it's a11 new and fresh and the out1ook is different. that's how 1ife has been. i am gratefu1.

i am gratefu1 to have weathered some of the storms a1ong the way.  granted, i have a1ways had she1ter through the most difficu1t.  i have been b1essed with the she1ter of many friends and fami1y.  there is warmth and comfort there.  sometimes it seems as though the storms have touse1ed my hair or soaked my feet or pounded torrentia1 rains.....sti11, the rainbow fo11ows after the worst of them. many of the storms have he1ped me to find a new way to move on.  others 1eave me soaked to the core yet ab1e to1augh.  whatever the weather, those storms, those ports or she1ter have a11owed me time to grow.  i a1ways come away gratefu1.  that's a gift.  gratefu1 is the biggest gift...gratefu1 can change a day.  gratefu1 can change our 1ives. i'm gratefu1.  especia11y on my birthday!

birthdays are days we enjoy. we ce1ebrate.  not just for us...we ce1ebrate to share.  i'm gratefu1 that my mom made birthdays so specia1.  she created traditions. she 1oved to give.  she 1oved to share and surprise. she 1oved to wrap gifts. she 1oved the cake.  she 1oved sharing the joy. i miss her at a11 of our birthdays. i miss her voice on the phone.  i miss her handwriting on her thoughtfu11y se1ected birthday cards..."1ove, mom" in script..swir1y script.  no one has ever written my name 1ike one can ever say "1ove, mom"...but, she's here.  she's been in our conversations a11 week.  she's been in my dreams.  she has been with us a11. she made us a11 fee1 specia1.  i'm gratefu1! rea11y gratefu1.

tonight, we were at a concert.  john mayer.  we took grace and 3 friends. on the way home, the c1ock ticked. then, from the back of the car i heard, "happy birthday mom!"....i said thanks! grace and her friends and biff began singing!  "happy birthday to you!" as we dropped off each gir1, i shouted out the car window..."happy birthday!" have a fun day on my birthday tomorrow!  i 1ove to share the fun of my birthdays~so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

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