Saturday, May 8, 2010

these are the moments...those sweet moments...when our kids were so little....downstairs in the kitchen on mother's day....with their daddy....and lots of shhhhhshhhhshhhshhing going on!  those were  some of the most precious tid bits of life as a mom. hearing the pitter patter of the kids' excitement planning the big mother's day surprise breakfast! those were the days....when it was sweet....and that was what mattered....just the surprise that they had begun in school and planned out with biff.  that will hold me forever!

we've come a long way since then....everyone has grown and now, everyone feels that hallmark pressure....from crying moms on hallmark and long distance phone commercials....and now, even diamond commercials!

mother's day is a very nice and thoughtful time to say to the mom's we love, "oh my gosh!  it's mother's day!  what should we do? or better yet, what do you want to do for mother's day?"

not too much pressure for the husband... who's already got a mother. not too much pressure for the kids.  not too much pressure for the mom's.  not too much pressure for the  mom's who have mom's and mother in laws!

sounds like a great day!  in theory.  last year, i spent the day cleaning the garage....and for most of it, i was delighted to have the time to be there and get some order.  when t.j. came to me at about 6 o'clock or so and said, "mom. we want to go to the restaurant on the water for dinner" .... it created somewhat of a stir at our house.  Hmmmm, i said.  gee, it seems a little late to get ready for that NOW! 

i think i said something along those lines.  i guess i was thinking that maybe if they had mentioned that just a wee bit earlier, i could have gotten myself together....somehow.

t.j. seemed heartbroken.  i felt guilty.  i think i said something like.....hmmmmmm.....maybe if anyone had mentioned it a tad earlier, i could have gone.  i might have also said,  look at me, i'm filthy dirty and have dust and dirt from head to doesn't seem like the  right timing to go out.  the restaurant closes at dark.  perhaps we could go another night, preferably when i've showered.

oh my!  what a pickle!  in moments, the whole family was mad at me!  wait, but i'm the mom!  it's mothers day, i wanted to shout at them all.  how can i go out like this?   should i be flattered that they really don't think i look that bad?

it was one of those moments that we dream of....our family thinks we are beautiful and lovely no matter what we look like!  

with or without a bra, not showered, knee deep in garage treasures that are covered with dust and grime, dirty , chipped fingernails, hair in our face, a touch ripened and some sweat to round things out.  our fine attire has paint and grime  the love from smelly wet dogs!  

when my teens are usually horrified by me on a good day, when i think i look my best....great hair day, manicured nails, make up or at least my lipstick, coordinated clothing, deodorant, shaved legs and armpits, brushed teeth, jewelry, accessories and no broccoli between my teeth, no lipstick on my teeth and my zipper zipped even though i had to hurry to a lacrosse game or a teacher conference or to pick up my child waiting for me after school has been out for 2.3 minutes but i am considered late.... 
nobody is ever quite so taken with my appearance at those times.  last year was just one of those moments.  one of those mother's day moments....pressure for everyone to do something...even if it was to drag me out kicking and screaming, filthy dirty and crying, darn it, they were going to make sure i had a darn GOOD mother's day!  and i wanted no part of that hallmark moment from hell.  

usually, those hellish moments come on the hallmark imposed holidays....valentines day is another one that creeps me out.  i'd rather have biff make me my just the perfect temperature.....all year long than have flowers or a card or a dinner out on valentine's day.

just not my thing.  great for anyone who loves it, just give me a few hershey's kisses and a real kiss and i'm good to go.

mother's day is great!  i miss my mom.  but phew, the pressure i used to feel to do something outstanding for my mom!  she never cared.  it wasn't something that was a big deal to her....she was happy for the love year round and not necessarily on that day.  actually, i wish she had been around last mother's day to hear what i behaved like...or at least to hear the description of what on earth i looked like that day!

so, here i sit, alone.  biff has gone out with grace and t.j. to "get something"....please don't let them live in fear...of me.....the mom!  ooh! the pressure!  please let them know that the best mother's day gift of all would be to just have fun together....doing nothing....maybe walking at the beach, getting along with no bickering or complaining.  i'd like to be clean, maybe showered with my teeth brushed.  that's it.

the greatest that i still love my husband and i treasure our children...they have been the greatest gift that i could ever have dreamed of.....our family...our dogs...our cats....our fish.....our sense of humor.  Now if we could all just have that sense of humor tomorrow, that will be the greatest mother's day of all!
the dogs have given their love to me for mother's day and every day.....that's it .....just love, sometimes some licks.....  that's just fine.  no pressure.  just love.  no questions asked. they didn't care what i looked like either.

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